I have been in this mindset of making people wait. Everyone knows what I mean by that. The person or persons in your life that need what they need right this second and think that the sun rises and sets on them. Or a coworker that as soon as you enter the door has to be on extra and won’t give you the courtesy of at least taking off your coat. These are the emotional blood suckers that zap your energy and life because at the end of the day they have no life of their own.
If you allow people to not wait when they don’t have a priority in your life, you will be the one frustrated. I had to put this nugget to use in my own life first. These last few weeks my life has been super busy. I have been going to more events this year than ever before. With that in mind, I am super organized. My kids don’t miss a beat. My husband and I don’t miss it either. In order to get things done, I plan ahead. A large greatness to planning ahead is being prepared and knowing when I can take on more, when to say no, and when to make people wait. A lot of times people live in this McDonald’s now mentality. Everything can’t be instant. Sometimes they want your attention because they are lacking in other places. Sometimes they want your money and ain’t worked for it, or will go above and beyond to get it as hard as they in your face grabbing it from you. Sometimes they feel like “it’s always” been a certain way and when you detach you are the one that is wrong.
Making people wait allows you to think. It cuts you from making rush decisions which happens if you don’t first get in control of your own emotions when dealing with others. If you allow others to tell you how to run your own life, next thing you know, you are the one full of anger and resentment for allowing others power over you. Waiting also allows you to determine what is beneficial and what needs to prioritized or not. So take your time on a few things. It can wait. People can wait. If someone wants to use your resources, they too can wait. You don’t have to stop the world and get it for them at a drop of a dime. Consider, if you were in the same position would the same courtesy be shown? It’s not about tit for tat its about principle of allowing the same people to be takers and you are the one that has to allot for their lives. This isn’t just about money but about emotional, mental, and spiritual robbers that come in and out of your life. Be careful. Learn how to weed them out. Find them and make every effort to put stops and checks in place to guard from this type of behavior.
I use a step in making decisions if I should rush into things or not:
- Is it necessary for basic survival? Ie. living expenses such as utility bills not including cable or phones. Those are nice but fully necessary. If someone wants to borrow money or resources that’s not about keeping basic needs met, the answer is no or make them wait
- Is what the person or person want about fulfilling some long-term emotional baggage? They can wait. The girlfriend who doesn’t have a man so she wants to monopolize your time can wait. You just hung out with her last week, but because she can’t get other friends to bend she needs you to stop what you’re doing. She guilt trips you and you cave, no make her wait. You have other areas of your life to attend to and her need to find fulfillment in you needs to wait or be channelled.
- Are you the only source? Some will come to you because you make it too easy. Like a yes man, you give them what they need and you never check or ask anyone or have anyone else. There’s a reason. It’s not just because they love you so much either. It has more to do with you being the source, them not handling their business correctly, and burning bridges with others.
Be careful. Anything no matter what its is for that makes you mad that you helped, makes you upset to the point where you lose faith in yourself or humanity, is it really worth it? Most likely not. You are in control make others respect you, and if they can’t sometimes a time out is necessary. Do not feel cornered to do for others what they won’t do for themselves.