Sunday Message: You Don’t have to choose 

I’m hoping this Sunday you’re doing well. Today’s message is about not having to choose. Last night I went out with a girlfriend to see A Bad Mom’s Christmas. Spoiler alert-it’s a must see. My daughter looked at me and was like you’re leaving again?! I was taken back by her comment but my response was simple. One yes (in my head cause I’m grown) but two is having a full life is good. I told her that what type of mom would I be if I only was available and on call for them alone and didn’t take care of myself?! I gave her a kiss and I was out the door.

The ride to the theatre was long so I thought about how far I had come. I used to sit in the house night and day. I would be jealous of my husband as he was out because I desparetly needed time but wouldn’t take it. I was miserable but my kids had what they needed. You know moms can’t be happy.  Moms are supposed to make everyone else happy.  Your dreams can’t be achieved. You must wait for the kids to grow before you start that business, or finish school. This is laughable.

I’ve learned through trial and error that I can have a happy life as a woman and still be a great mother and wife. I can take care of my body, have friends, go out, work hard, and still be the same Betty Crocker Mom that I am.  I didn’t realize I would recall the times my mom was in her bathroom early in the morning putting her makeup on and still walking us to the sitters and going to work that she was showing us all along how to do it all. She never led us to believe that I had to look a mess or be a mess to prove to the world that I was a good mom. Her only thing she pushed was making sure my kids looked equal to or better than me.

I don’t want to choose on my kids or me. To be a great mom I choose me and them. I would give my life for them I’ve already done it a number of times but I can be complete and whole and be a kick ass mom.  I stopped trying to be like my mom after the first year of my oldest life. How my mom handled twins is like dust compared to what I had to handle. I learned to parent my way. I learned it was perfectly okay. 

Mom, there were a lot of things you say you got wrong and we can agree to disagree but know that at the end of the day, I’ll be here teaching my girls and son to never give up and to go with everyone’s thoughts of who they should be. How will they know that if I don’t show them? Thank you mom for that lesson! Whatever your titles are in life be the best. You have to be of sound mind and willing to go after all of your dreams. I can show my kids as I reach for mine at the same time. So no I’m not stopping my blog, quitting my Job, or stop working on other businesses. I’ll have my kids with me for the ride.

So remember whatever you do create balance. You don’t have to be perfect. Trying to be perfect without being at your best is failure. Too many people trying to get everyone else’s blessings and life and wouldn’t survive the things it took to attain them. Get your life!! 


2 thoughts on “Sunday Message: You Don’t have to choose 

  1. This is so true and wish this was advice realized begore getting married. Now looking back I was very unhappy with putting all my time and energy into children, house and being a spouse. It waa not mutual and I was left empty and unfulfilled. Funny part is I needed to put the brakes on and make myself a priority. It took being divorced to realize how much of me was put on the backburner. Now I love the power of No and doing for me. It’s not bad parenting or selfish. It actually feels wonderful.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes indeed like I said to be honest not sure how we made it because I was at my wits end with the whole balancing everything and everyone but me. Once I figured it out I refuse to go backwards to fit this mold we are being sold on is the right way


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