So it’s that time of the year where people are hurting bad. They are sad, depressed, angry, struggling and all kind of negative. Check in on others without having to wait until you get the tea of someone’s life. You know the type that wait until you post that your world is not right then all of a sudden they want to be captain save em…
Now with that in mind keep in mind a few things to watch out for as well when you are the one who is going through and wondering where others are:
- Others are going through at the same time. You may not be strong to recognize that however don’t do passive aggressive and say if you support you would…. This can only be said if you have told others what you need and if they are in the same position to assist. Sometimes we put pressure on others that we don’t even put on ourselves. Everyone doesn’t have enough to give no matter how fabulous their life seems. Another issues they may not be lead to give. Just cause you have money or resources doesn’t mean you should be made to feel bad into giving. Some things are meant to go the way they need to be. I recently had a friend ask for money. I may or may not have had it but I didn’t feel lead. I got called all kinds of shade for it. Listen, everything ain’t for everybody. Understand that when you ask, it’s not a definite and not all have to give for your cause. If you believe in it, it will work out.
- Sometimes seek help for what you need in someone qualified to assist. If you need a therapist stop getting mad at your cousin, friend or family because they didn’t take on that role. They can only do but so much. We need to learn that life is hard and this pressure is making things worst. Call a professional.
- Stop the blame game. There are factors that are making you the way you are no doubt, but realize that the salvation of what you need is up to you. Not you and your spouse, not you and your mom, not you and your friend simply you. This isn’t being insensitive. Yes it would be nice if your man held your hand but it’s not up to you to make the determination that if it don’t look like you want it to that they aren’t. You may really need to focus on some underlying issues that are making recent situations seem worst. Dealing with your own stuff makes you better equipped. Not dealing with it can make you expect more than what is even possible. An example of that is being super sick and only dealing with the symptoms but not the initial issue, you sir or ma’am will have temporary relief but not be healed. You need healing.
- I know everyone says talk about it, but there are professionals available to you even if it’s a hotline that are equipped to be better than your already drowning love one as they aren’t able to pull you both up. Even on plane rides they instruct you to secure your own oxygen before you can assist a fellow passenger. There are many folks operating on empty cups, empty wallets, and full of pain and brokeness. They can’t help you.
Now even with all of that above we still need to check in on others. Do so without needing a hook up. People get tired of having to always give from depleted places. Now with this statement comes responsibility. IF you are allowing others to always take for the sake of relationship no matter what relationship may be then you are to blame for how the cycle of negativity is going on.
Yes you may have someone in your life that don’t want to assist you cause they simply don’t like you or don’t believe in you. Trust me that one situation will not be the tale tell of that. They would have been getting consistent behavior that tells you so. If so, is it their fault that you consistently knew it, felt it, received it but stayed in this going no where situationship? No, its time to practice self-care and self-love as well as its time to know what help you need and who is equipped to give it. Its time to check in on even the stronger ones too, they have issues going on in the inside that show up differently than the outside than most. Be your brother and sister keeper but sis and bro know that everyone can’t alway save you. You bear a huge responsibility to make an initial step and focus on the right folks instead of all of the folks coming in your corner.
Now I know that are some that are broken who are reading this and thinking how insensitive this might come off but in reality is that we all have to be about our mental health. It is real. There are some at different levels of understanding and openness. If you’re at the place where you can help yourself but just feel entitled, please stop. Read all of the above again. IF you are so hurt with pain this is going to come off as not caring and its the furthest thing. this is simply reminding you that YOU have to make a step in getting the right folks.
Let me help you, have you ever been going through and been so disgusted at everyone that any sound, look, etc will set you off. This is the wake up call because I too have been here before. Getting mad at others and driving others away and then blaming them for walking away cause your place in life has pushed them away when you really needed help. This is the time to be strategic and get the right help. Sometimes the ones you pushed away will be there and will understand, but in reality the ones you taxed with saving you won’t. YOU are the only ones who hears your thoughts, that feels what your pain, if nothing else open yourself to getting help in the right arena. No sense in you being in a cardiovascular doctor office for a broken bone and then raising hell in the cardiovascular office because they can’t mend that bone. Tax yourself like you are hoping someone will see you mentally drowning and say what can I do right now. Let me take my eyes off of people and see what the meat and potato is of my issue. OR if I can’t then let me call a professional to help me sort. Let me call the suicide prevention line, to talk. Let me call the depression hotline at my job and get someone on the line to assist. Let me take a break mentally and stop going a thousand on worrying about gifts and focus on my mental health. Not let me keep buying, doing and hope along the way someone will catch me. Sis, Bro you are your best help. When that doesn’t work lets out source to the right place! Here are a few resources that need to be in your phone on speed dial. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. Don’t let a soul tell you that!