If you’re feeling defeated know that this feeling is normal. It happens to the best of us. Don’t beat yourself up further because of this fleeting feeling.
What you can do is turn this feeling around. Defeat can only overtake your mindset when you keep feeding defeat with reasons why you should give up. You will not struggle with reasons why to give up. Those ideas flow easily. It’s finding reasons to push through that may be the hardest. One thing to remember it only takes one reason not to give up to stay in the fight. Only one!
When I felt that I was at my lowest moment and trust me I’ve had many it always starts off with a situation that seemed to spiral out of control. Most of the times I allowed it to get to that point. It could be with a bad choice or decision. Whatever pushed it towards that spiral I played a huge hand in its outcome. So then depression sets in with the old I will never get out of this talk. Which if you live a little the hardest things never truly overtake you. Then you find yourself overthinking until you fall asleep.
I wasn’t resting because I needed strength to do better, often times it was to escape what I had going on. If this is your first hard time just know when you wake up trouble is still sitting there looking at you with a strong side eye wondering what you are gonna do!!
The best way through a defeated mindset is to acknowledge that you’re there. Don’t hide at all. Don’t sugar coat your moment. Speak up and expose it. The times I would say man I’m in over my head it was almost like a light bulb would come on. I knew at that moment that I had to get it together. Hiding only masks it and allows for more negativity to build with it.
Here are a few things that helps me:
- Talk to the right people-not just your friend but a friend who is consistent. If you’re friend is going to use the information just to remind you of how much better they are then you, that’s the wrong friend.
- Find out what your options are even the ones you don’t want to hear.
- Find a solution! Sometimes we say we want answers but hide not to deal with it. Hit it head on so the fear of the situation loses its sting.
- Get clear-pray or meditate to get yourself some guidance and clarity
- Tell only key players. The ones who will truly lend a hand are the ones who are on a need to know
- Know that this is a temporary test. As hard as it looks you will not die in the moment even if you lost a lot in this fight! What’s lost needed to be lost for your overall purpose.
- Cry-it’s not a sign of weakness but release the pain that the situation has caused and work towards holding fast onto the lessons that were necessary!
Defeat is temporary and necessary. You will not win every battle but if in life you lose to gain what is rightfully yours then this setback is definitely vital to your journey. Chin up, you will make it through.
I used to sing a song in the choir and the worlds were: sink or swim, live or die I’ll make it! You will make it even if all hell breaks lose! You got this!! Enjoy the song if you listen, the nuggets will carry you through anything!! Enjoy your Sunday and refuel!!