So good Sunday evening. As I blog this my whole house is quiet and napping and that calls for a great glass of wine. But before I do that I had to share a little something with you. I love being apart of groups whether online or offline that are about something. With being in groups they add a sense of belonging. One of the things that happens is you share information and experience.
We all have something that another person needs. Whether you speak it, write it or share it, people are most likely going through what you have been through or will go through. Yes you can keep a few things for yourself. However consider speaking up about a few things that you have conquered. So many people are hungry, angry, or need support and just want to know they they aren’t alone.
You have a voice. Use it! Please stop thinking that you will have people all up in your business. And even if you did, let’s keep this real it ain’t nothing somebody ain’t been through. So many folks are so protective of their “stuff” and don’t realize how much healing and accountability can come out of sharing. I spoke to 5 women today who went through postpartum and all of them had the same theme, they didn’t know anyone had been through it. Some of them their own family members shrugged them all. They were not alone.
What about the things you are going through? Do you think that you’re the only one going through pain? Nope. You’re not! You’re only alone because you hold onto it and think that holding it will help you. Often times you just suffer in silence. That’s really the concept of any group you are in. It should be a place of support and love. Within that should be healing.
I encourage you to not hold your testimonies in your heart all the time. There are some folks that can benefit from you speaking your truth. Now that sounds like a win, right?! Indeed but there’s always a but…
Use discernment! Sometimes sharing with a few folks always comes with a backlash. When I started blogging I got the “what makes you an authority?” “You ain’t no wonder!” “You share/talk too much!” ” You got so much to say but you really need to….” The ones who said those things were not my intended audiences. It wasn’t for them. Remember I only post I don’t harass for support so… my thought is then and now, do not log on to read! It’s not shade it’s true!
I only share my life. I don’t have time to share from a 3rd party perspective. When I talk about failure it’s because I’ve had more moments of it than most and….. it’s helped others to be authentic. When I talk about giving up it’s because I’ve tried to do it and grace walked me back to success. When I talk about marriages being on edge it’s because my own has been dipped by foolishness and we are still liking one another. Sharing always comes with a little backlash but when someone sends me a response to one of my answers to their Ask Toi and says you listened when no one else did, I count that as worth it. When I look back at my own blogs and say thank you Lord for grace, that’s worth it.
I know that when I don’t have folks that will listen without judgement something will come up that speaks to me. It’s been a video, a song, a blog something positive that speaks to that negative battle I could be in and I’m super grateful that someone wasn’t ashamed to speak up! Speak to those around you. Know the audience to whom you are speaking to. When the ones around you give you issues, hear what you can use and then note the folks and learn to adjust your audience from them to where you need to be. Don’t get discouraged in what you have been through. We all can draw from one another. We all can help one another heal if we aren’t afraid to speak it!