To church or not to church… your choice but heal from past hurt!

I get a lot of people are hurt by the church body. If you don’t understand what church body that means that 9 times out of 10 they went to a church who has left a bad taste in their mouth and now feel like the church as a whole has failed them. This isn’t one of these blogs that says you have to go to church. This is for the folks that I know that are like me who have been burned and want to go. So miss me with the whole “omg I don’t want to listen to a sermon.” That ain’t how this blog is rolling!

There are a lot of truth to the pain that folks have endured especially depending on where you go and who you are under. Every church body that identifies themselves as whatever they choose have certain rules and regulations that can be harmful for people who are hurting to begin with. I grew up in church all of my life. I’m talking about that bible study twice a week, usher meeting, choir rehearsal no family time on Saturday and all day Sunday type of church. Being a child and not able to govern what I wanted to do in the case of church or spirituality there were zero options. I was in the building even even I didn’t want to be.

A lot of principle I have taken with me. I choose now not to take like the be in the building every day principle. I think that is team too much but I don’t knock those who insists that works for them. I too have been burned by church folks aka the folks in the building. It’s no secret. I’ve had to block many of the folks I’ve once attended services on social media. Why? Real simple any time I’ve spoken on my experiences it’s been an issue. No harm no foul I get it they are deep in. Kudos to you. I choose to live with balance. I choose to make sure that with all of the hours of being inside of the building that my life outside of the building looks right on and off social media. Most importantly I am grown. As much as I want to blame God or the people in a particular church, I’ve since moved on from that target of pain. I still don’t deal with my old pastor however I have said my peace about it and him. I wish him well but he’s not my spiritual leader. There’s nothing wrong with that it is what it is.

Disclaimer: I have a lot of my home family and friends who will read this blog and would love to spin this into a thing. I have like a lot of my blogs edited it. I will not edit myself in person if you attempt to try me and make this into more than it is.

People we’re all in their feelings with gospel singer Le’ Andria went left but she spoke no lies it was her delivery that folks was up in arms over. We have to stop thinking that folks hurt and pain can be wiped away with a prayer alone with the ones who are out here hurting don’t take responsibility for their actions. Charity or love starts at home and needs to be brought back in the households of faith. If the world is hurting, surely coming from dysfunction into a spiritually dysfunctional place will not heal them just cause you use Jesus name. That was a word for some that didn’t catch it. Also leaders are flawed. Leaders are men and women and outside of Gods hand will do, and do things they shouldn’t. We got to stop setting these pastors on peddle-stools. A lot of folks know what the pastor said and none on what God says. We don’t even study we just go with the flow. We don’t ask questions because asking questions is disrespectful. This mindset is one tootsie roll to that of a cult!

I no longer use my old church, the folks in it and anything that happened while I was there in my youth to sway me from my spiritual journey. I used to use that excuse but after awhile even I had to come to the realization that folks is going to be them. If they off at home no wonder they spew offness over a whole congregation and their people live off lives outside the building. Listen I got a slew of flaws. I got folks that would be deaf to anything I say or do based upon old interactions. I could give them the opportunity to start over again but the reality is when folks don’t like you no matter what you say or do they won’t receive it! So I choose to live life in balance.

If you are struggling with going into the house of God or at least where man has placed his name, dont go back to the place that hurt you. You don’t have to vomit and go back to it! If you’re sick, there are a million and one other hospitals to go to. Find your spiritual path. Make sure not to drag the pain with you forever. I promise you, you can live a balanced life, and still find what you need.

To the past church members that I have offended let me say I’m sorry for my actions as well. However when I wish you well I mean it. To the ones who have offended me I have dropped the charges mentally and emotionally.

I know that Sunday morning plays all kinds of games on those who struggle to find their way! I am a living witness that you can move past pain that the good “church folks” have given you! It doesn’t have to end your church career. However I would caution you from church hopping to avoid what you left. I would employ you to deal with it. No matter how messy it is, or how painful it is. You deserve to be made whole and understand that may not come from the ones who hurt you! Don’t do like me and attend Bedside Baptist to avoid folks! Folks is folks they gon be them until the end of time. Find what works for you that is your initial direction. It’s not about having “itchy ears.” It’s about finding a place that will guide you and that won’t put a stamp of approval on your stuff but also isn’t afraid to admit when they too aren’t aligned and then do the work to get aligned!

Happy Sunday morning!!

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