Blogging Pain

Every now and again I will get someone who asks me how did I start out or what has been the most annoying thing about blogging. There are a many things that take place from blogging. I will share a few of them.

My Life is a Blogging Moment

My life is what I blog about the most. It’s easier for me to talk about me.  With that there is some backlash or opinions. I get wow you are so bold to blog about yourself. In my opinion, not really. End of day I am the one who knows me better than anyone. I love my husband and he sees me in my most purest form but no other adult knows my adult life as it is right now than he and I. Outside of that, others only get a preview of what I go through on a daily basis or what I put out. I sometimes get the whole talk of “you are sharing too much” comment from friends and family. How? Its my life and end of day I am the only person that can make that judgement. Now if I share something about others than I limit what I share. For instance, any blog about my husband and kids are discussed ahead of time. I am super careful in how I share things about them because they aren’t bloggers. It’s important for me to be clear about what I expose of them or expose them to. However me, I have very limited limits on what I share. When I shared about my hysterectomy surgery, I got a lot of women and men saying how they didn’t see the other side of the surgery and some who had been through it and understood. I also got why would you share it? Simple, there is someone who may be in the midst of making that decision who may look my story up and be encouraged that there is a life after it.  End of the day, unless I choose I am going to keep sharing what I choose to share. End of story!

Also I do blog about the things that happen to me. If it involves others I do not reveal who they are, but that won’t stop me from blogging the situation. Blogging is a way for me to express things and sometimes writing or typing it out helps me to see points I may have missed during the actual event. So when people say I can’t believe that you wrote that, most likely they need to relax because I will edit things so that they come from my perspective alone. I wished sometimes life itself had an edit button. Everything is rosy and sometimes messiness happiness. I am not the only one where life works that way. When bad things happen, it is what it is.  I can’t really change that but I can learn from them and help others learn from them as well.

Ask Toi Segments

I always tell people who send their questions of the Ask Toi, that ultimately they know the decision that they need to make. Sometimes people just want to hear a 3rd party and go from there. I do not make recommendations to anyone unless asked. I do have enough craziness in my life, to work out. So if someone emails me than I give the advice. I do not give any Ask Toi of personal people who I am around. If one of my friends ask me for advice they get personal advice that is not posted on the blog. There have been times that there have been months with no Ask Toi questions and then times I am hit all at the same time.  Life works that way. I know around the holidays Ask Toi is usually popping since everyone has to deal with some family or friend drama around the holidays.  Sometimes the anxiety of the holidays make people send me questions too. I welcome them all.  Remember you can send those questions to


How much energy do I give my Blog?

If you follow me on my Toitime Facebook page, you know that outside of new blogs that can be seen on my site, there are times when I throw blogs back or repost blogs. I post a blog just about everyday especially on days that the blog corresponds with. So if there is national boyfriend day, I will post a blog for it. Also I blog all the time. I also pre-blog or write all of my blogs ahead of time, edit them ahead of time, and set the blogs to the date and time I want them to go live. This helps me so I can have my busy life, work a full-time job and still get my content out without a hitch.  So yes this blog is like having a full-time job and if you were to follow me for a week, you would see the amount of time and energy it takes to make it work. This blog is not like a job that you do just to do, I enjoy what I do and because of it when my kids go to bed, I am at my laptop making the magic happen. Not all bloggers do that. Some blog when they get inspired. I do not force a blog. So if I don’t feel it, I don’t blog it. I am not interested in anything going out that didn’t feel genuine in the least bit. I have had things happen in the world and people ask me if I will blog it and sometimes I do and if I am really not willing to stand behind it, I won’t blog it. I am not interested in doing all current events, celebrity gossip, etc. I stay true to what feels right to me.

Is Blogging for everyone?

Yes and no. Blogging can be as extensive as you want or it can be a hobby that you do when you can find free time. There are a lot of bloggers who make money from it and those put a lot of energy into it. You can start off as slow as you want or fast. It takes dedication to the blog. So yes anyone can blog but it’s not for everyone who doesn’t like typing or writing to begin with. Some people don’t want to feel like their life is under a microscope I really think that is up to you to choose the level of microscope that your life is under. If you are talking about your sex life and think others will perceive you as whatever negative connotation you think, you can control how much you put out. You can also be Mary Poppins and have what seems to be a perfect life and if folks don’t like you, want to be negative, or just want to find an issue with it, they will. Be prepared for that! Also there are so many things to blog about. Some people get engaged and blog their journey and when they marry they talk about navigating through it. There are people who are in the same season of life as a newly engaged couple who will read it. You might find someone at their lowest in life, and blog their way through that.  That is relatable. There are some who blog about their kids and how they navigate through parenting. There are a lot of folks in that same season. As your season changes, so will your blog!  There is a blog for EVERYTHING out there-trust me!

How did I start Blogging?

I have shared this before but I got on twitter about 5 years ago. Within that  it allowed me adult interaction on the most random things.  After going from being a stay at home mom who navigated back into the working world after being home with my kids, I started to blog. That was almost 4 years ago this November. I researched online free blogging sites and the first year went to WordPress and designed one of the free pages. As I grew I knew I wanted to own my own domain and have the flexibility to do what I wanted with my blogs and I kept it through WordPress and now I own my own domain.  I networked with other bloggers and they continue to teach me things like branding etc.  It came together as I kept doing what came natural to me and that is to write.  So now I can run my page the way I see fit and I love that I have full support when something happens which out of the 4 years of blogging I have only had one issue!

Getting Organized

Even for me as an organized person in life I wasn’t as organized as I am in this last year. I now have a separate planner for my blog.  It was too much trying to keep my person life planner and blog planner separate.  It has caused my focus to be that much better. If I see it and write it down I am about 98% confident to meet my goal. I wished I had gotten the blog planner years ago.  I love planners but thought it would be okay to have both worlds collide. It is not.  I needed separate space. In my planner I am able to write weekly and monthly goals while I am going along. I hope to continue with my blogging planner.


So I generally feel supported by family and friends.  I have never felt like I had people who didn’t want me to be successful.  When I started blogging I never imagined that I would be blogging so consistently and I had no idea what it would look like year down the line. Since thing a lot has changed in who I have linked up within networks of my own and outside of my blog.  I also changed in how I see how I am supported.


I joined as a blogger on Face Philly Mag and that has turned into a new network called;  TCP  

In addition with TCP I have Guest Blogger for Greenide

So I try not ask my friends or family to share my blogs for me. Some do and most times if I am honest some don’t.  Even the ones that I have asked have gone ghost. What I mean is that they don’t respond to your text one way or another.  So they don’t share it, respond, or say one word. Over the years, those I just leave them in ghost mode. My blog site allows me to see where my blogs are being shared so I am clear on that.  What I focus more instead of trying to pinpoint what my friends are doing or not doing is to continue to do what I love. In that, I am a firm believer that is the energy I will receive back to me. It hasn’t bothered me to worry who is supporting me at this stage of blogging like it was in the beginning when I was extremely scared to put myself in the forefront.  In the beginning I had lots of friends who said they would share the blogs and didn’t.  This is life. It’s not my friends vision so they can’t see where I am going with this. All I do know is the ones who were with me in the trenches as it grows are the ones I will celebrate with in the end.  That’s not shade; that’s real. We get worried as individuals in who sits with us in the beginning. Life has a way of weeding folks out. I wished it wasn’t that way, but that’s the way it is. I have a network of those who actively do support the blog so I stopped feeling pressure from those around me to repost or share my content. However what I do love is that my blog tracks the countries its been read from and I am super excited to know that it’s in more than 20 countries. That is amazing to me and I hope to expand those numbers. If I can encourage those around me is to take that lesson of support with them. I linked up with well-known bloggers to ask advice and that was almost unanimous across the board in what I was told to expect. So I am giving that same advice to upcoming bloggers. This blogging world will connect you with and to some genuine people who are mature, will assist you, answer your questions and let you know the real. You have to stop worrying about the ones you thought were in your corner, and change the corner you sit in.


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