I think it’s hard for women who are more inclined to be care givers not to manage everyone around them. I know for me it is. It’s hard for me to manage so much of my family and have to take a step back to not manage their feelings and emotions. I took a journal for the month of August. The purpose was to be sure that I documented every time I felt the need to step in an emotional situation whether I was asked or not.
I wasn’t surprised by the outcome at all. I also noticed or wrote down how often in that over step how often I managed mine? So we know the stats showed that I was there for everyone else and very limited for myself. So I took a moment this morning as I was feeling the most frustrated to ask myself what good came from any of it? Not much. I wasn’t okay and even today I’m not. Not that anything is wrong but mentally as I attempt to take stock of just who I am, what I want, and what I’m trying to accomplish it’s hard to see clearly.
This month is self care September! I am going to have the scales tip in my favor. Instead of paying attention more to those around me I will make sure to be clear on what I need moment by moment to increase my own self care and self love. I feel like it will reveal more about me and less about others. Sometimes that’s necessary in order to make decisions that affect me! Why am I more concerned about my marriage than myself to the point where I could be pushing issues that aren’t my husband and more about me? What about my role as a mom? Why am I only focused on the outside less than the vessel that is me! Am I not important? Am I not capable of loving myself as strong as I love others? The answer is yes but to get there is a journey! I want to dive into me this month! That doesn’t mean my titles to others will change. It just means those titles can be stronger as I connect to myself!
I had a conversation with my oldest and trying to be clear to her to recognize when she’s seeking more from others that actually come from the inside. Is she more concerned in how people view her than how she views herself? Is she super concerned in having others like her that she’s less concerned about who she is in her own journey? I asked myself the same questions. How someone views me is concern for self reflection but it’s not the most important reflection. What’s important is for me to be happy in the skin that I carry daily. I am going to blog this journey in a journal style way everyday this month. I hope it not only brings me the clarity I need but helps you in the long run!
So here’s to day one! Here’s to Sunday and to a new month and my goal is simple-guide my inner self to clarity! Take that journey with me this month!