I’m hoping you are taking the Self Care September journey with me. That doesn’t mean you need to start a blog and write about it if you don’t want to but maybe you can create a journal. I use my notes function on my phone during the day to write down how I’m feeling. It helps me to sort out of any issues that arises. It also helps me to remember what happened when I revisit an issue later.
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I had a headache but that didn’t come until after my run. I did the PHL5K that was sponsored by American Airlines and Philadelphia International Airport. It helped raise money for Habitat for Humanity Philadelphia and the Eastwick Friends and Family Coalition. I was honored to have run knowing the run was helping in amazing causes.
Habitat for Humanity helps families who might not have the opportunity to become home owners and provides them with an affordable home option. Having the home owner assist in its build helps them appreciate all that went into the home as they take on the responsibilities. It takes financial backing to provide such a mess to the communities it services and I’m glad this run provided it!
Me with the Habitat for Humanity Philadelphia team
I got up at 530 so I could gather everything needed. Thanks to my husband aka my run husband for being there with me. He doesn’t do any of the running but he acts as a coach, motivator, post snack getter, driver and photographer. I appreciate him getting up in the morning as early as we did to be there.
We did a Zumba work out and before we knew it the run began! I finished in 36 minutes and 3 seconds. While running I couldn’t keep my time. It’s the new Fitbit but I was good with the time I ran it. This is my first of this run season and I will do about 1-2 each month until Christmas!
I’ve been in many times with people who wanted a private relationship but wanted to publicly distance themselves from me. I mean this from all forms of relationships not just romantic. It taught me that one anyone who has done it we’re definitely talking about me to certain groups. They didn’t want the group to know that they were good with me because in revealing that the group would be aware of not only the things the person hanging out with me said but they would be liable for what they said as well.
I think in my journey of friendships and relationships it’s been the one thing that has hurt me. I already struggle with being close to people and to know that I’m friends or in relationship with someone who doesn’t honor that relationship in all arenas is hurtful! It’s mean and it’s isn’t right. Some have asked why I no longer entertain people who are like that? My question is what is the value? None. It’s one thing to go along and not know. Once it’s revealed I have no value in being in connection with others who don’t value me. I’m not here to help wrong people feel better in their wrong. It’s not my job.
How do you get past?
You remember the value of your friendship. If there is something that the one who devalues you have brought up that you can do better with then do it. That doesn’t mean I have to sit under their table to do so. I don’t allow those types of folks into our home. My husband and I are super clear on that. Our home should be full of peace and love and anything or anyone who disturbs it won’t be in our home.
It’s a beautiful thing to be in company with those who have the same core values. This is why you don’t link in business with folks that speak unity in public but do everything but. In the blogging world I’ve seen some cut throat things. You will have folks ask you how did you get what you get not because they want to know and learn but I’ve had some bold one say “I don’t deserve…” I stop them real quick and remind them they aren’t my checker and they don’t get to determine my value. I’ve seen folks post unity and then turn around and dis-include those who don’t look like them. One thing I know even being as old as I am karma knows your true intentions and she doesn’t miss in how she handles me and anyone else for that matter.
So your mission is to be yourself. Your mission is to treat others with respect. Your mission isn’t to get everyone to like you, support you, or be there in the bad times. Your mission is to be who you say you are at all times and be the best version of yourself. If you find the private friends, disengage with them. That energy is draining you so they can leave you empty while they attempt to knock you off your game. Never let them see you sweat but sometimes work twice as hard so when they come with the “how you get here” question you can just smile and say hard work!
Happy Sunday but weed off them private sleuths you don’t need them. If they can’t celebrate you publicly let them go. Watch for the ones who don’t clap at your success trust me that’s all you need to know in how you move forward!