National Mental Health 2019

Today is National Mental Health Awareness day and I have been trying to gather my thoughts on what it means to me. Mental health means different things to different people, but we all are highly responsible for managing it.

For some its more than just simply taking a bubble bath and moving on from a bad day. Its the highs and lows of just being able to get through certain stressors and knowing what your triggers and stressors are. Having the mental fortitude to be able to in a moment’s notice handle our triggers while still proceeding with the demands of life. Some handle it well and some not as well as they should. Learning to dust yourself off when you have a less than stellar moment. Learning it’s okay to try again.
It would be great if those who suffer the most with the most triggers or issues would feel supported but the truth of the matter is that’s not always the case. The people who suffer feel isolated and alone. Even when folks say they support they run out of it leaving the sufferer feeling abandoned.
I would encourage those who feel as if something is wrong to seek help. For those who have sought help and found that they still aren’t where they want to be to continue to get what you need even if that means changing providers or doing a medicine check. Keep trucking even if you feel isolated and seek those who support you. You will find those who don’t and as bad as it feels you don’t need them in your inner circle. It’s going to hurt more when those who you feel should support don’t. Don’t let it stop you from pushing on. Push forward. Seek help. Pursue love within yourself. Know that you are still worthy of the life you want it just make take time to get it. Although we love fast and convenience some things are worth taking our time to get lasting achievements.
I wish I had a picture of how frazzled I looked on the outside.  My outward pictures were so pretty. I learned of my depression and anxiety shortly after the birth of my son.  I was a wreck in a new city away from my support system. I wished I had known like I know now that although I wanted my young family to look picture perfect that it was okay to say I wasn’t. I wish I had known it was okay to say the living arrangements I had wasn’t working and even if it felt like a quitter and it was okay. I wish I could have put into words what I felt.  I wish I had known that I was going to be okay.  You are going to be okay even in the messiness of your life. When the very bottom of your life drops you will still survive.  Now when I take pictures such as this one I see one that is learning not learned to be okay with myself. I lost weight, I lost friends, I lost a few family members and I lost the old me that needed to go. What remains is a new version of myself and in that a newer version will continue to immerge.  She’s okay with herself flaws and all. She’s dusting herself daily and trying her best!


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