Open Discussions: Time to Decompress

So yesterday I had a long day. I was completely frustrated just with how the day was progressing. I think if I am honest with you all since, I have already been honest with myself is that when I thought about the stressors and deadlines I had on my plate, my travel for the end of the month, and just the normal day to day that I to do; I had to release that energy. There have been aspects of my life where I have come off being so easy to juggle because I am Type-A has many believing I don’t need to be supported. It’s not true. Someone who can multitask actually needs a lot of support because they juggle so much more in a day than the average person.

Me enjoying some snuggles with my cat-Tiki while journaling

I haven’t had much say for the most part on some of the instances in life that has taken place and with that the notion to push through has been the wave. I am one to practice self-care but there’s another element to daily self-care and sometimes that may mean taking an honest assessment of the things that are surrounding you. For instance, I haven’t spoken as openly about it, but my twin had major surgery this Summer and a lot was thrown onto my plate. Helping her navigate her health and life has been a lot. Yesterday I realized how much pressure I had been feeling. I needed space to acknowledge it and then delegate back to her what she needed to work on so I could clear my plate of some things I am attempting to work on too. It helped me to have an open conversation with her.

How do I deal with stress?

For me I am one to now speak up and be honest instead of allowing things to build and then explode. I work on how I feel inwardly before I talk to another individual about it. I was able to be honest with myself by stepping back and answering some real strong questions about how to further navigate life. I really do well under stress but it’s completely okay when on a day like yesterday I needed to retreat even for a few minutes. I took a quick 10-minute time out. I am blessed that my children are old enough that I can escape to my room and gather my thoughts. My children make me so proud.  We openly discuss stress and how to handle it. They knew that I needed my moment and they offered me the same suggestions that I offer them when they feel overwhelmed. It taught me that they listen, they are applying, and they are coping well.  We speak openly about stress not in the tones of what is stressing one another but in terms of stress management. My hope is that they see self-care and stress management as a normal occurrence and not something they learn only in therapy as adults.

Decompress

After my 10-minute time out I was able to have some vegan pizza and wine. I know there is somebody reading this like “oh she’s using food and drinks to manage stress.” Not at all. When you have a healthy relationship with food and drink you can enjoy them. The pizza and stress didn’t take my stress away. I worked through my issues and that’s what helped my stress. The pizza and wine were just something that makes me happy after the fact. I was just doing my food happy dance. Also, I was able to cook a few more meals to set my weekend up and the kids and I were able to be super light for the evening.  The atmosphere was great. My daughter was able to get all her studying done, the youngest were able to play, and everyone was prepared for their day today. 

Game Plan

With being able to decompress I was able to rest. I was able to get a mental game plan. I was able to refocus and resift. I like to do this as often as necessary because I don’t want the house to have to feel the pinch of my stress. Like Beyoncé says the women keep the tempo of the home. With we must do all we can to make sure that we are okay and not just in surface. As much as I advocate for asking loved ones second layer questions, we must do it on a personal level as well. How do you check in with yourself? Do you journal? Do you sit and block everyone out? Do you talk or phone a supportive person? Whatever you need and that need will change with each shifting situation we need to do it. We are important. I don’t want to be in a situation where I am not in control of my emotional health, so I strive to make sure that I am in top mental shape. Doing all I can to make sure that I am mentally okay within my own skin is important and I really hope you do what you can so you can feel and know the same!

Stress out of control

If you can’t control your emotions and you have checked in with yourself, journaled, talked to a friend, took a time out and you are truly feeling overwhelmed I would suggest talking to a doctor or therapist as you may need assistance. This is important. This doesn’t mean you are a horrible person. It doesn’t mean that you are out of control and hopeless. It doesn’t mean you are crazy. You just need better coping skills. It’s okay and not a failure to seek help. It shows strength in the ability to ask for help even when it doesn’t feel like you are strong. Keep in mind I believe in Winter or Seasonal Depression. Its gloomy out and dark earlier in the day and it affects your mood. I check in with myself more in the Winter than any other season. Its okay and you aren’t alone. Let’s make our mental health a top priority.

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