Monday Motivation: Open Heart

So happy Monday! First let’s be grateful for waking up! If you can read this you are on the right path. We forget that life is but a vapor. We spend more time upset over small things. Shift the mind! I am grateful for waking up! I am grateful for another opportunity to make an amazing path!

With that being said what if you woke up with a closed heart. A closed heart that doesn’t see good in anyone. An open heart that isn’t open to love and living a full life! That has to be a hard place to live in. I used to live like that. Everyday argumentative and angry. It’s a draining way to live! When your heart is open to the right things you can overcome all kinds of obstacles. You can push through difficult moments even when you feel like no answers are near.

When your heart is open to the right things even in dark times you can hold onto light! I’ve had many times where someone has said something to me that alerted me to what was inside of me all along. My heart was able to receive someone speaking hope into my hopeless situation. It’s a blessing to keeping your heart open! When you have closed off your heart it seems like everything and everyone is against you. You find fault in everything all the time and often times you’re not able to take accountability! Today during your Monday shuffle; find ways to open your heart. It could in how you shift from a complaining spirit to a grateful one. One time I had mere dollars if you could call it that. My want or needs list was higher than the money to take care of them. I wanted to be mad as if it was the moneys fault. I took a deep breath and wrote what I could do to proceed in my day in the right mindset and in a matter of hours, money didn’t appear but provision did. This meant what I needed came in ways I wouldn’t have had room to mentally conceive until I shifted my heart to be open!

I hope that if you feel hopeless that you would understand that it’s a dark moment not a dark life. Your moment isn’t a permanent life choice. Things do and always turn. The worse thing you have gotten into you have always managed to come out on the other side so whatever has your heart closed, release it! Replace it with hope of the future and that doesn’t mean months and years-we talking about your today and now! Take charge to let go and open your heart!

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Monday Motivation: Gratefulness

Every now and again I think it’s important to speak our gratefulness and not just around Thanksgiving. Being grateful is something you walk!

When I was in my most depressive moods I would complain about air. That might be a stretch but the reality is ungratefulness was deep in my spirit and therefore it would come out of my mouth. Spending so much time saying what’s wrong comes out in how you walk. How? You can’t even gravitate towards good things looking at the bad things. It’s draining and it’s defeating!

Like for instance I was up at 4am to do my 5 am run. It was dark and by the time I started running I could see the rain coming! I didn’t check the weather before I left so I had only my headband but no hat. Before I could complain I thought about the fact that one I was up and had met my group on time despite finding my running belt and reflectors last minute. I was up with no help of my alarm. I was up in my right mind. I have the ability to run! There was and is no reason to be in negative land.

On my last leg of my run I said my extended prayer. Every run I do, I pray. It allows me communication with God. It allows me to speak my truth and my heart in the quietness of the morning. I needed to be reminded to take it easy and be grateful for the blessings around me. As I transported my twin to work this morning I saw a woman who I noticed last week sleeping outside. She’s been there for about a week! I don’t know her story or why she’s there! What I know is that here I am in a car full of gas, with my coffee and dry while she’s in the elements and outside where any and everything can happen to her. One I pray her situation is better and two may I do all I can do to stay focused on what is to come and not on what is happening!

So as you start this morning, have you started the complain game? Have you started focusing on what you don’t have or want? Have you said thank you for your life? Have you said thank you for your job? Have you been grateful? If not start now! Start changing the conversation of your life. Start walking in gratitude. Start being a testament to others around you of gratefulness. People would love your portion and yet you can’t see it because your focus is not in tune! Make the change towards gratefulness! Be grateful for you, the things around you, and show that to someone else today!

Catch UP

So it’s been a minute. I will be blogging a gambit of Ask Toi questions in the next few days! Also I will be posting week 3 of the kids and I summer adventures! I needed to check in with you all on a person check In and not just a mommy cheek in as it’s been these last few weeks outside of work! So life has been interesting.

As always I have a lot of events coming up. I love being on the go! Outside of a sinus affection that I had that I thought was an allergy fit life has been doing well. For the past few weeks I had been getting seriously sick like the type of sick where I had to say no to a few events. You know how much I love being out and about in the Summer. One thing I will say is Philadelphia has it going on all year long and the Summer is just pure magic. Anyone saying I have nothing to do is legitimately in a mental funk. Trust me I understand that too as I’ve talked openly about my life and anxiety or complaining instead of being proactive. I get it!

Between blog events and being out and about I have to say that I too have been making my mental health a priority! It’s important for me to find moments of slow down. I have had to call a friend a day behind, or say no to an event, pick and choose if I can go to a family member’s house or just say no I need a regroup moment! Why? Cause just because things seem light doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments of insanity!

This year I have set out to find my biological dad and that has brought a set of triggers for me I didn’t know I had! Like for instance because my step dad who I only call for reasons of clarity step has been in my life since around 5 people have said to me why? Why do you need to close or open this chapter? It’s simple, I want to! I’ve a grown woman who still has questions inside of her that may not ever be answered but I have to find them for myself. I have found out more and more about the character of my biological father than any other time in my life!

It’s been rewarding and challenging at the same time. Also let me be clear this is my story to tell. I’m not entertaining anyone telling me how I should feel about the story or a should you write about it speech either! I’m 38 I think I’ve given parties involved a time to create the story they wanted me to accept! Now it’s my time. No sugar coating is going into effect! Plain and simple my biological father has not only failed me but my other siblings! I have quite a few and still gathering information. I think as a kid I’ve had it in my head that things would magically fuse as they do in the movies. It’s what I wanted! However the turns have shown that this will be more like a reality show than a loving movie! The mere fact that I’m seeking him when he’s not seeking me is already trigger enough. There are many like me who still want to know why. I’ve talked to those closest to him I may not never get an answer.

Also with balance of my biological dad its made me look at the way I parent my own kid. What do I want them to do? What do I want to leave for them. Do I plan to be honest and open with them? The answer is absolutely yes! If the stuff I got into is just to be a testimony to them then so be it! You see the Preachers Kid moment there? It’s important for me to be clear in what I can offer my children in support and love!

Also I’ve been noticing that I’m easily angered lately. I don’t know if it’s changes happening around me is making me that way but please believe I got my therapist on hand. I am working through it. I’m calling my stuff to the rug when things happen because I believe whatever is happening has to start with me first. I had someone ask for forgiveness that I wouldn’t have received from years ago! That’s growth! Despite the growth I’m still human dealing with life no matter how pretty the filter, you can’t filter life!

As this journey with my biological father unfolds I will share as I profess. I like to take my time with these steps to be sure I’ve dealt with them offline before I share them online. Other aspects of life are always changing. Many moments Ido well with change and other times I don’t! Sometimes, I would say most times I handle my anxiety extremely well and other times I have blow ups. However even when I feel like I’m having a moment I still feel better equipped now than before to recognize my triggers, handle them alone, and remove myself from them!!

Hoping anyone who is dealing with the ups and downs of life can relate and process!!

Monday Motivation: Freeing up Space

It’s amazing when you feel free. You don’t walk like you have walked before! You are clear to just be. As you continue in the movement you have to free up space in your life for the right things to come in!

It’s like breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you make space by getting rid of the things that remind you of them. You declutter your world of the things that no longer bring you happiness or peace. So how about what that looks like when you free your space of the things that no longer serve you daily? For an example, stop scrolling on pages that are meaningless or watch less and less reality television, stopping subscriptions to people and their mess or being more conscientious of how often you are around negative people. Freeing your space to bring in light into your world!

There’s not a single person who doesn’t need to free their space. Freeing your space includes people, places and things. It means that it may be hurtful as the people around you won’t understand but at the end of the day, but it will benefit your mind and life. Freeing up your space forces you to see life as it was meant to be. What could you free yourself of today?! It can be as small as changing the snacks in your cabinet and as drastic as freeing yourself from a job that you are on simply because it doesn’t align with your life goals! It’s up to you to choose. Free your space daily! Make today and everyday count! Have an amazing Monday!

Sunday Message: Do you ever plan?

We know life throws many waves. You can have good and bad times happen at any given moment. However for everything in between you need to plan and work your plan. Plans don’t trauma proof your life but they help you get through it a little bit better!

So how do you plan? It’s the last day of June and tomorrow is the start of a not only a new month but the 3rd quarter of the year. Time waits for no one. It’s all moving fast. What are you doing? What have you done so far? What goals have you reached? For the month of June I’ve already hit all my numbers that I did for last year at this half way point! That’s progress and that comes from being consistent and being meaningful in what I do. I plan accordingly for what I want to see and when bumps come in I adjust and deal with them.

Planning takes the guest work out of things. Planning for good makes sure you aren’t leaving things up to chance or getting the wrong foods you don’t need. Planning for your future will make sure that you don’t have to have a bake sale to bury a loved one. Planning for your week always ensures a great start to what you want to make happen. There are some people who can go by the fly of their pants kind of way and most who need to plan ahead to hit their goals. Whether you want to believe it or not most people benefit from a plan and to work that plan.

We all need to go into our week with more masterful tactics. We all need to work our lives in a more organized way. It will be the very thing that brings success! How bad do you want it?! Is planning something that you just hate but know you need to do? Is this Sunday going to be about fun alone but you lack to plan a better week?! Make that change so everyday you aren’t just simply existing waiting for another weekend to come to simply breath!

Monday Motivation: Create your Passions

I find it amazing to see people who don’t have perfect worlds but do all they can to create their own happiness and lanes where they have complete control to be above situations. Creating new waves or lanes. Sometimes the best treasures come from people who just create even when they don’t have all of the right equipment but start anyway and improve along the way!

Not everyone has clear pathways of creativity but in some forms can work towards it. If you are a writer find a way to use creativity and write. I’ve been a writer for most of my life. Blogging is a way to utilize my creativity. Owning my blog page is the way to have complete creative control on what is written. When I first began I had one of the free sites. However with me owning the blog I don’t have limitations on space as I’ve written over 1000 blogs in 4 years. I don’t have limitations on what I choose to write either.

No different if you have a gift like hair braiding or public speaking these are things you can utilize to find a way to own your gifts and monetize it in some way. I have friends who can bake better than most and they are using their gifts to make money and do what they love. It doesn’t matter the age, young folks have tapped into a market of their own. You have to be able to find or create your own lane. If a market doesn’t exist you can always kick in the door and create one too.

I know that the way this world is set up it’s always good to have talents and gifts to use. Ownership is the key and yet you can work a full time or part time to finance your dreams at the same time. Anything you do is going to require consistency and hard work. It’s not always pretty when the plan comes together but there are moments when you try something-fail. Initiate something-fail. Get a good run-fail. Have backing-fail. Have support-fail. But with all great plans comes rejection and sometimes failure.

When I first blogged, I had people coming to me: oh you misspelled a word. I would change it. I never got mad but I still noticed when I would have people say maybe this isn’t your thing? Maybe you could find another channel of communication. I never let them stop me no matter how irritated I was. It could have been a fail the first year had I listened. When I stepped out from trying to be so perfect it naturally on its own popped! It doesn’t matter if I blog in my natural voice meaning blog it straight up no chaser or I tap into my years of writing and give it to proper. My goal is to be authentic to have life moves.

Did you know that even though I get invited to the table to attend events and go places that gets me around the right crowds I still get family members who say, “oh why did they choose you?” I’m like what? Now when they have high moments I’m supposed to rally behind them and celebrate their moments?! That’s the frustration of doing what you love. When it doesn’t benefit someone else but they see you pushing through it’s “what makes you so great.” However do something where you can help another person and then it’s “hey let me tag along.” “How much did you get paid.”

Creativity also means that you need to always have built in self care. It’s a lot of movement to step out and make things work. While you’re making it all work, you can get caught up. Having support and doing as much self care will be vital as your gift “makes room for you.” Meaning your gift is natural and often times gets the attention of those around you. Staying centered and utilizing discernment is vital!

What did you always want to do but haven’t? What do you want to create but you waiting a thousand years to do? What are you naturally a star in? Who has done it before you that can mentor you? Are you daily doing one thing in the gifts you have? What are you willing to sacrifice to get it? How bad do you want it?

Answer these questions and leap today! Leap and work! Leap and be prepared to lose somethings you probably needed to give up but wouldn’t. Leap and let the love of your gift carry you. Take breaks when necessary and practice self care, but leap!

Sunday Message: Change is good

Sometimes we fight change. It sounds good to say change is great but to actually go through it hurts at times. You have to be willing to go through change and when it gets tough don’t quit.

In the beginning of change it feels good and you’re super focused. Then about mid way through tiredness creeps in. You ask yourself why and if you haven’t been reminding yourself why or surrounding yourself with folks that push you towards change you may get weak enough to consider quitting.

  • Feeling weak and wanting to quit is not an issue but letting it stop you is a real problem! Often times we quit right around the time when change is about to take its proper place. Be encouraged today!! Change isn’t just something you speak about but you also have to walk in it! It’s hard to keep focus when you hang with the same crowds. Change your mind and change your circle naturally! No one who isn’t about to change will stay around you too much longer!
  • This Sunday is a new set of a new week! Take the time to change what didn’t work last week and apply change to it this week!
  • Sending great vibes!!