Monday Motivation: Burn Out Time to Tap Out

Burn out is real. Its not just about always being on in in every arena of life Burn out can and will happen if you aren’t putting things on pause. By pausing it doesn’t mean you aren’t “adulting.” It simply meas you recognize what you need to make yourself a better adult.

How do you avoid Burn Out?

I wish I knew the secret. It doesn’t stop just because you went to the spa one day and got your favorite coffee. It doesn’t stop just because you landed a dream job or a dream mate. Burn out is sometimes a cycle that we get in when we are not conscientiously not looking inward. I think about the countless hours it takes to manage an online blog and it’s a lot. You don’t simply write a blog and walk away. You know post it on your social media channels, connect with your readers, get out and get in the community, have a “normal” life whatever that may mean. You can build for yourself and others and forget to hit the pause button.

In order to be the best you have to e 110% in. You are right and wrong. I have had some of my best moments where I felt like I was killing it in the game but losing it on the inside. I was tired angry. Tired angry is when even a leaf falling makes you curse because the amount of burn out has taken its toll.

It’s okay and beneficial to say NO! I looked at my calendar and had to say NO! I need down time. I need me time. I need family time. I need a nap. I needed quiet. I need to recharge. We are now not only waking up to a Monday, we are also about to dive into the holiday season. It’s okay to recognize your needs.

Ways I avoid Burnout:

  • I say NO at least 3 times a month. This is NO to a invite, family, friends, or even myself.
  • I am honest and listen to my intuition-she knows me better than I give her credit
  • I take breaks-I will purposely go to sleep early or end my day early
  • I am learning to take social media breaks
  • I don’t follow uninspiring people
  • I took a break on certain forms of entertainment

You have to listen to yourself and from listening to yourself tell yourself it’s okay to bow out gracefully on a few things. What’s for you isn’t going to roll if you take a break. It’s okay to step and allow others to handle things. You are not a failure or a disappointment if you allow yourself a break.

Do yourself a favor; take a break now. Do NOT say I will do it next week. Next week you won’t take one either. Don’t put it off. Its one of the causes of sickness and stress. It makes you feel little in your big world when you should feel empowered. You’re overdoing it and now it’s time to step back so you can come back and step up!


Moshulu Serves with Elegance

I had the opportunity to dine at the Moshulu. If you have been before they have newly renovated and the space is pure elegance. I love the menu as well so we are going to dive in!

If you caught my blog on The Deck back in the Summer than you know just how amazing the Moshulu really is. Their signature cocktails should definitely be on your list. I recommend the Moshulu for a great after work change of pace for happy hour. Nothing and I mean nothing beats seeing the skyline of the city while you dine. The Moshulu is also a great place to have a date night. The ambiance is a perfect backdrop to gaze into your lovers eye! No boo? No problem grab some friends or loved ones and make it as big or as small as you would like. Can we check out this scenery?

You and your guests will be mesmerized by the hand carved fish that floats almost on top of you…

Who doesn’t love a good bar? Whatever your poison you can find it here at the Moshulu! Your bartender will make you a request from the menu or they can work a special request as well!

Now let’s talk about food! I started my night by getting the Tempura Lobster Sushi Roll. The very first time I had sushi was at the Deck which is adjacent to the Moshulu. So to have the Lobster sushi roll was pure amazement!

My friend for the evening Josephine has the Lamb meatballs. I tried a piece of that as well. It was juicy and moist! It was paired with bread.

I love a great drink and the Moshulu didn’t disappoint! I had the Princess Peach which was made with faber citrus, vodka, St. Germain, cranberry, peach, lime and sparking wine! My girl has a Mangojito! The Mangojito is made with Bacardi lime Rum, mango, agave, lime, mint, and soda.

Don’t let these pretty drinks fool you! They come with a powerful punch!

For my entree I had the Salmon! It was super tender and delicious. I mean no knife needed! It was served with a sweet potato puree underneath with peas, carrots, and quinoa! The taste of all of it together was amazing! I’m talking about tap your toes good!!

My girl had the Roasted Chicken Breast. It’s normally served with a mushroom leek bread pudding, Brussels sprouts, golden raisins and apples. She substituted with mashed potatoes and asparagus.

If you can squeeze in dessert you should! I opted for the key lime cheesecake. It was decadent! It was flavorful but not too sweet. It was absolutely perfect!

My girl had a chocolate cake!! I wasn’t ready for the largeness of this slice I’m warning you this is a take home slice! It’s not for the faint of heart! When the Moshulu says chocolate cake they mean chocolate cake!

So we have great food, and amazing ambiance but what about service?

I have to shout out Emi! She by far made my night wonderful. Not only is she knowledgeable about the menu but she showed so much patience. No time did my water go low. When we went from each course they boxed our food immediately. I’m talking about you blink and the food came. We weren’t rushed! I was asked when I wanted my next course. If there is any other restaurants reading this-this is where customer service of Moshulu excels. I watched how every patron was handled and we were all handled with care. I would give them more than 2 thumbs up!! I would borrow some things it was that good!!

Thank you to Moshulu for hosting me and thank you to Jami for setting this up! I can’t wait to go back. I think a holiday gathering would be the move!! Consider hosting your next gathering at the Moshulu and have an experience of a lifetime!! See the Moshulu’s holiday schedule here! Also management is superior to none! They didn’t do a one time walk through asking about your time but I witnessed them stepping in and even serving. That means a lot. No one is above another and the emphasis being on the customer!!

Well if you attend make sure tag me as I would like to see the fun you’re having. The Moshulu also offers brunch so there’s no excuse not to come and enjoy and make memories!

Kurry Shack: Indian Food on the Go!

Now you know my first experience with Indian food ever was at Makhani! I am happy to say that Owner Shafi Gaffar has done it again with Kurry Shack!! All of the goodness you expected with Makhani has extended itself to Kurry Shack with Chef Abdur Masud! Kurry Shack is located at 2015 East Moyamensing Avenue; Philadelphia PA 19148. Their number is 267-761-5562!!

What I like about this BYOB dining area is that it’s also a great way to have Indian food on the go but keep with the same home style flavors. It’s causal demeanor is a great way to grab food with a friend or family. The indoors can seat up to 18 people or can be turned into an event space holding 30-40!

I enjoyed an amazing experience on this past Sunday. Here is what I observed:

  • The food was bomb-they have options for everyone! Vegans and vegetarians aren’t left off this menu and you know that made me super happy!
  • Their Uber Eats, Caviar, Grub Hub, and Door Dash was in full run. Every few minutes orders were running out the door-no lie! I was amazed.
  • They have amazing Indian ice creams, milkshakes, etc. Their take on tradition and flipping it in a great tasting way

Let’s start with my mango lassi! It’s a yogurt drink! If you never had it you will love it from first sip! I had two if I’m quite honest! They also have sweet or salt flavors too! Mango is my go to! The smoothest drink I’ve had in quite some time!

Mango Lassi


I started out with an appetizer of Mixed Pakora which is a selection of fried vegetables fritters. The sauces I had too were amazing!

Kurry Shack has vegetarian and non vegetarian appetizers by the way! They also have a great selections of soup!


I love Indian bread or Naan! They have an extensive selection. Some I had never even heard of! I chose the bread basket and that came with original, garlic, and onion Naan! Let me say they were exceptional! The crispy edges and hot fresh Naan made in their clay oven was pure bliss. I save my carbs for occasions such as this and I was in pure heaven!


I chose the Tandoori Shrimp! We are talking about shrimp sautéed in fresh spices and grilled in the tandoor! It was fresh and they asked me how spicy I wanted it! Since it was around 6 and I tend to stay up late if my food is super spicy I had them keep in the middle. Enough spicy to clear my palette but not enough to have me up all night! It was perfect!

A little birds told them how much I enjoyed the Chicken Tikka Masala and they brought some for me along with a fresh bowl of rice!

Oh and it was just me so now I have a table of food!! If that wasn’t enough I had ordered prior to the Chicken Masala the Chana Saag. The Chana Saag is spinach and chick peas cooked in a thick sauce. By the way I obviously took the leftovers home and it heated up super well! I finished it yesterday!

I had no room for dessert but that didn’t stop them from offering me! I had and enjoyed Kheer! Kheer is a fresh Indian style rice pudding. Rice pudding isn’t something I would eat on my own at all because of the texture but this rice pudding was great! It was creamy and tasted well. Anyone who knows me knows that textures make me normally skiddish! I ate it all!!

They also served me Gajar Hawal which is a sweet carrot almost like a purée. I ate that a lot quicker than I had imagined! It was that good!

All in all nothing I had was bad! It was down right so delicious that I can’t wait to have more! I like that it’s 15 minutes from my house which is now no excuse cause even on days I don’t feel like going in I can order it and have it delivered! The food is always hot and fresh and is the best! Shafi Gaffar you outdid yourself once again!

Thanks for having me and thanks to Aversa Pr!!

Make sure you give them a try for the best authentic Indian food with options for everyone from non vegetarian, vegan, and vegetarian options for the best you have ever had!

Bristol Riverside Theatre: Next To Normal

Explosive, twisted, heart wrenching, and purely dipped in the essence of human heart! Those are just a few words to describe my thoughts watching Next to Normal. Book and lyrics are by Brian Yorkey, and is directed by Keith Baker. Music is by Tom Kitt!

This play follows a family who is dealing with death and mental illness as it has brought a wave of change that can’t be denied. Grief changes you in many ways. God forbid the death of a baby. This baby is such a catalyst in how the whole family interacts, intertwines with one another, and lacks ability to see each other. I sat in the beginning just bopping around this musical until the twist came and grabbed me by my chest. By the end I sat there with tissues in my hand and the worse ugly cry!! It was that emotionally charged.

The crazy part and I use that term loosely is that she is me and she is you. No one couldn’t feel the pain or have experienced some level of sadness that could or had you at this point of despair. I had to call my family and check in on them. I’ve dealt with my own anxiety and if you have in some portions or major this will speak to your own healing. This can be triggering to anyone who has lost a child. It’s a dance of healing and anyone who has had to heal knows it’s not straight forward. It comes in waves. It’s debilitating at times. You will experience all of these emotions. I sat there taking to a woman who just couldn’t stop crying. I don’t know her story I never asked. We sat there seemingly from two different worlds comforting each other!

This is a must see! This one made me grateful, showed the mirror to my own healing, and challenged to see others around me in a different light. We don’t know what someone is dealing with. We have no idea of their struggles and inner demons. We got to find a way to handle ourselves and others around us with better care!

Can we talk about the fact that this is a musical and they are sanging! No I spelled that right. They were sanging meaning they took singing and upped it! I come from a singing family and been around music and theatre most of my life and the actors and actresses sang!! I appreciated the music so much more! The band is phenomenal. I love live music and Next to Normal wraps all of it well!!

Next to Normal will be showing until November 24, 2019!! That’s right you have time! This was a packed house performance! Bristol Riverside Theatre if you have never attended a show is a state of arts theatre nestled in Bristol. They have amazing staff to service you. I love coming and they have some amazing snacks if you need a snack or drink during the performances!

Monday Motivation: Prepare

Oh who else enjoyed that extra hour of sleep? I know I did. Having kids whenever the “extra” hour comes I usually never get to enjoy it. This time my kids seemed to give me and my husband a little rest.

As I went on my day crushing my Sunday routine I got excited about all of the things I needed to do. I went to the Production of Next to Normal. More on that later. As I exited the building immediately I remembered the only thing about gaining an hour and that it gets darker early. It came to mind how depression will escalate as Fall continues and Winter settles in. If you think seasonal depression isn’t real you don’t understand how people work. We have eaten candy and soon we will be gathering for Thanksgiving. Seasonal depression moves hard and fast if you’re ready it will take over!

This season is heavy. It doesn’t mean that we can’t celebrate it. It does mean that there are a lot of people who suffer in silence during this time. You have loved ones who aren’t here to share these upcoming holidays. The darkness of the night and the change of the weather changes people’s motivation. We tend to get lazy. We don’t want to work as hard. We move with very little intentions. It’s I’ll get to it after the holidays. I’ll make it happen later. I’ll worry about that after awhile.

So preparation and acknowledging that this is real especially if you have a tendency to tilt to the seasonal depression side. How can you be aware and prepare?

  • Get great friends or family you can be authentic with about your struggle! I have a hotline with a small amount of friends who we check in all year around but we hit it hard in the seasonal depressive months.
  • Increase an activity of choice that is for you and about you. You will need a little selfishness while also helping others during this season of giving
  • Get active-I am intentional about movement regardless of cold
  • Find ways to build-what are your ways of increasing your dreams
  • Say no- I know we are going to give back and will be asked to do, to bring, to have and you need to exercise your no muscles
  • Since we are in a giving mode; find things that genuinely make you smile. Big or small smile!

Preparation is key. Walking into something telling yourself that things don’t matter will not help. Don’t let the cold come and leave you with limited ways of handing you!

Go and develop a plan of action! Make sure that you aren’t spreading yourself thin. Don’t allow yourself to be pushed to the point of no return! Know they it’s okay to keep your sanity this season and within that could mean a simple no will be you achieve it!

Blogiversary Year 5

This entire month we are going to celebrate my Blogiversary! 5 years ago what started out as something to do has turned into a whole experience! I had a vision and that vision has shifted through the years but it hasn’t stopped!

When I first began it was just about doing it for the love of writing and more of a hobby. Now I blog full time while managing life be that from work, my family, and responsibilities. I’m projected to be full time blogger alone by 2020. That’s a huge ordeal for me and what I work towards daily. A lot of people see the finished project but have no idea the amount of time and dedication it takes. I am up all hours of my day and definitely at night editing and arranging content. When I first began I blogged in real time. I had no concept of editing and setting my blogs to release at certain days and times like I do now.

I have learned a lot from being consistent, dedication, and obtaining mentors along the way. It takes a village to go from to a once a week blogger to giving daily content! As ToiTimeblog has evolved and is evolving into a brand I am in awe. I treat every event I attend with the same dedication as the first. I do not take anything for granted. Every sponsored post, brand post, or hosted post are near and dear to my heart. I enjoy what I do and I know it has to come off in my posts! Any future ads that I do have to be a product that I have used or use currently that I stand behind. That’s the beauty of choice! I made the choices and call the shots on what I believe in. I’ve had some brands I’ve had to turn down! It’s apart of how this works!

I have to say that my followers and readers make it special. I recently went to an event where someone asked if it was okay to talk to me. I don’t care where I go and how ToiTime evolves I’m a small town girl in a big city and as long as you can deal with my quirkiness l’m just a normal young lady. For every woman I’ve interviewed as it’s my desire to make sure I uplift women even when negative decision making has taken place; I stand for us! I want to see us win every single time! I want to see us go from the bottom and rise to the top! I started out as a stay at home mom and have worked my way to a beautiful life of independence and I’m thriving. When I was told my kids were too young for me to do what I do I kept going. Now on kid appropriate blog adventures they go along. I want them to see how I move and for them to do the same in their own way! The way I carry myself now is completely different from the beginning because I have purpose. With that purpose I’ve gotten further in this blogging life than I could have imagined.

The amount of push back that comes from behind the scenes has made me stronger! It has also developed a new sense of advice for new bloggers:

  • Never work for numbers alone! I have walked in arenas that my dedication has opened doors quicker than my social media numbers have
  • Have a blog plan in place especially when dealing with brands. If I attend an event unless the client gives me a certain deadline I’m infamous for my less 24 hour turn around time
  • Don’t overbook events unless you can handle it. I get told I see you everywhere and it’s true but I go in fresh no matter what. Put space between events if you can to decompress
  • Know your audience and know your brand. Even if it’s a sponsored event or trip know the audience
  • Have a tight turn around time
  • Know the movers and shakers in the room. Don’t be shy networking is apart of this game
  • Be on time. Don’t come to events purposely late. If you can make your way to the front it will keep your focus and help smash anxiety
  • If you work with a PR get to know them and always be yourself. This has been a godsend for me. The one time I was super sick and the PR wanted to know what was up. Don’t lie be honest but always remain yourself
  • Blog what is natural for you. Do not try to mimic another blogger.
  • Your gift will make room for you. What others are doing with their blogs isn’t your business. Do what’s best for you at all times
  • Be professional even when you’re getting criticism. I attended an event and was told I didn’t look up to par. Instead of an attitude I took the advice and it’s help me to always represent my brand even when I’m not at an event

Now let me give you even more advice!! The best advice I can give: your blog is your vision and you can’t expect friends or family to have the same level of vision that you do. I see this from entrepreneurs all the time calling out their squad for not in the blogging world, reposting their blogs. You got to get thick skin. I am aligned with a lot of products, brands, and companies and I ask myself daily; am I promoting myself just as hard? People are fickle like water! You can’t expect them to help you brand years down the road! It’s not their vision. Take moments and time out to resonate within yourself daily, monthly, and yearly that your blog will look differently!

If you have a free domain when you start set a plan to pay for it the following year. You should be investing in your blog and brand consistently! I purchase new lighting, soon a new camera, upgraded my site, go on conferences, etc. because Toitime is worth it! You have to do the same! One thing we won’t change is unlike other blogs who only focus on pretty pics we will remain a staple to keep talking about life as it’s happening. No pretty picture will ever take from that. There’s a single mom who is at her wits end, a divorced woman who needs encouragement, or even a father trying to do his best! We are here for the everyday struggles.

Thank you to my support team. I am moving daily because I have support! Thank you to Aversa PR for seeing me and rocking with me! Thank you to my blogging friends who we collaborate with and engage in this world together without competing with one another. I love seeing them grow and glow and they do the same with me! Special thank you to Phillyfoodgal you have been a godsend. To my friends who don’t hesitate to be there for me-thanks! Thank you to TCP! I’ve been with you through name changes and rebranding but it’s been love all the way through!

To my husband and kids who have to deal with my fluctuating schedule-I love you! You make it easy for me to do what I love!

To my followers thank you! Every year I upbrand and this year is no different! You will be seeing changes to the blog at the beginning of 2020! I have more brands that I’ve secured and with that comes growth.

During this month of the Blogiversary follow me on Instagram! We have prizes and sponsored gifts coming to you for rocking it out with me. The only way to win is to follow me and the brand on Instagram. Let’s have some fun!! This month is going to be an amazing celebration!!!! Year 5 we about to do this!!

Ask Toi: What do I Tell my Husband who invited his friend and his friend’s mistress to dinner?

This is a bit much. It’s one thing for your husband’s friend to cheat on his wife. That’s his choice but to have your husband basically aid him is not cool.

Birds of a feather flock together. You can have friends who do questionable things often times if they know you are going to be the morality police they may tell you but not involve you. That’s how my friends roll. They also know since I’m going to call them out on their mess they ask me if certain things done in my presence would be offensive. Sounds like your husband’s morality line is wide enough to be accepting of his friend’s ways. If your husband’s friend knew that your husband was cool with it it’s no wonder that this invite wasn’t an issue.

The other flip is that your husband isn’t aware of your morality line. I’m team wife all the way. My husband knows I will call him and his friend out so no need to even involve me. Even if there’s a wife that I don’t particularly like I’m still team wife. Ain’t no way in Hell we breaking bread with active cheating. I’m loyal to my husband but the loyalty goes both ways he wouldn’t betray me knowing how I feel about certain things. Your husband has very little respect. Any man reading this and thinking “well my wife should be good since I’m good” is pure trash. I would imagine if we set up a sting you doing questionable stuff towards your wife too!

I believe your friend has a right to cheat meaning I don’t condone it but it’s his choice. However I’m pissed as all get out that he would be that open. This is not I made a mistake with another woman this is a whole mistress aka a side relationship. Just the amount of diseases (condoms don’t cover everything) he is potentially bringing home is enough for me to cut him! Yes I said cut him.

I would say you tell your husband that you’re not comfortable with it and that you decline the invitation and have a conversation with him about his participation. Something about this makes me leery about his own morality and you need to see this as an immediate red flag!

There no way to involve other folks without their knowledge and I wouldn’t want to be uncomfortable. Men if you cheat than either be bold enough to speak up and if you can’t the less you involve others the longer it allows you to be secretive until you get caught because 9 times out of 10 you’re going to get caught. This is 2019 somebody is recording, snapping, and setting you up in case you think they aren’t! Don’t be dumb!