Disclaimer: If you haven’t watched the episode and hate spoiler alerts, don’t continue….
So last week the issues that the couples were struggling with was intimacy. The couples even those who had great physical attraction on their wedding day struggled to keep intimacy going.
Intimacy is truly a huge part of marriage that goes way beyond sex. tje ability to feel connected to your partner can get lost in translation even for couples who know each other well. So this week they are really trying to apply some of the advice that the experts gave. It’s also time for the sociologists to visit their homes to see how they are blending together.
When the sociologists came to the home of Davina and Sean, the couple didn’t have real groceries in the fridge. They also had empty picture frames on the wall. Most couples when they get married begin the process of fusing their lives together and they are still having a block doing so. The couple have been given an assignment to get away from their environment and enjoy some bonding time. They decided to to to the wine country to bond.
When the sociologist came to visit with Jaclyn and Ryan R., the home wasn’t decorated. Jaclyn was still living out of her suitcases. They also didn’t have groceries either. It looked more like a crash spot than a place where a couple has settled in. The sociologist asked them to hold hands to signify them being a team. She noticed that with holding hands that they needed to build a bond in order to build a home together. Their plan was to take a cooking class and have a candlelight dinner so they can feel like a couple and do things like couples would.
This is why when marriages goes through various stages and it will where if date nights don’t continue, and you don’t spend as much time as before, you can go back to the foundation that you once had. This experiment takes out that foundation and forces you to mega speed up what takes people at least a year to begin the process.
The sociologist went lastly to Jessica and Ryan. They were all smiles which is a flip from last week. They seemed to have really applied what the experts had given them to work on. They had just made a mattress purchase together which sounds very childish but it’s not. Making a major purchase can really make a couple share in something which opens up the communication either one way or another. It’s all about not just having my thing and your thing blend it’s about investing in our things together.
Time is not on their side as they have to really for the sake of the experiment, move much faster than normal. Some couples meet day one, click, marry and not have these issues but I think it’s really not something most couples could do now. Even some couples who have been together forever and a day still struggle with the basics of marriage from time to time.
The last issue that took place in the episode is blending friends with your mate. You and your mate’s friends don’t have to be best friends but it’s important to be able to get along and not have a lot of uncomfortable moments. Your mate needs to feel comfortable in that your friends will speak positively of your marriage and encourage you to make the right decisions. When that isn’t the case it can cause resentment, lack of trust, etc which is all unnecessary when you’re trying to make things work.
Being married in a nut shell you should be about building together. If you can’t build what is the point? You can do bad by yourself. It’s one thing to agree to love and live together it’s another to make a home together. Making a home requires patience. It takes putting your partner’s needs above yours so that everyone is getting what they need and creating a balance. It’s not easy at all to do but if two people are willing and learning to go with the flow, it can work.