Sunday Message and Day 7 of Self Care September Challenge

I’m hoping you are taking the Self Care September journey with me. That doesn’t mean you need to start a blog and write about it if you don’t want to but maybe you can create a journal. I use my notes function on my phone during the day to write down how I’m feeling. It helps me to sort out of any issues that arises. It also helps me to remember what happened when I revisit an issue later.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I had a headache but that didn’t come until after my run. I did the PHL5K that was sponsored by American Airlines and Philadelphia International Airport. It helped raise money for Habitat for Humanity Philadelphia and the Eastwick Friends and Family Coalition. I was honored to have run knowing the run was helping in amazing causes.

Habitat for Humanity helps families who might not have the opportunity to become home owners and provides them with an affordable home option. Having the home owner assist in its build helps them appreciate all that went into the home as they take on the responsibilities. It takes financial backing to provide such a mess to the communities it services and I’m glad this run provided it!

Me with the Habitat for Humanity Philadelphia team

I got up at 530 so I could gather everything needed. Thanks to my husband aka my run husband for being there with me. He doesn’t do any of the running but he acts as a coach, motivator, post snack getter, driver and photographer. I appreciate him getting up in the morning as early as we did to be there.

We did a Zumba work out and before we knew it the run began! I finished in 36 minutes and 3 seconds. While running I couldn’t keep my time. It’s the new Fitbit but I was good with the time I ran it. This is my first of this run season and I will do about 1-2 each month until Christmas!

Sunday Message

I’ve been in many times with people who wanted a private relationship but wanted to publicly distance themselves from me. I mean this from all forms of relationships not just romantic. It taught me that one anyone who has done it we’re definitely talking about me to certain groups. They didn’t want the group to know that they were good with me because in revealing that the group would be aware of not only the things the person hanging out with me said but they would be liable for what they said as well.

I think in my journey of friendships and relationships it’s been the one thing that has hurt me. I already struggle with being close to people and to know that I’m friends or in relationship with someone who doesn’t honor that relationship in all arenas is hurtful! It’s mean and it’s isn’t right. Some have asked why I no longer entertain people who are like that? My question is what is the value? None. It’s one thing to go along and not know. Once it’s revealed I have no value in being in connection with others who don’t value me. I’m not here to help wrong people feel better in their wrong. It’s not my job.

How do you get past?

You remember the value of your friendship. If there is something that the one who devalues you have brought up that you can do better with then do it. That doesn’t mean I have to sit under their table to do so. I don’t allow those types of folks into our home. My husband and I are super clear on that. Our home should be full of peace and love and anything or anyone who disturbs it won’t be in our home.

It’s a beautiful thing to be in company with those who have the same core values. This is why you don’t link in business with folks that speak unity in public but do everything but. In the blogging world I’ve seen some cut throat things. You will have folks ask you how did you get what you get not because they want to know and learn but I’ve had some bold one say “I don’t deserve…” I stop them real quick and remind them they aren’t my checker and they don’t get to determine my value. I’ve seen folks post unity and then turn around and dis-include those who don’t look like them. One thing I know even being as old as I am karma knows your true intentions and she doesn’t miss in how she handles me and anyone else for that matter.

So your mission is to be yourself. Your mission is to treat others with respect. Your mission isn’t to get everyone to like you, support you, or be there in the bad times. Your mission is to be who you say you are at all times and be the best version of yourself. If you find the private friends, disengage with them. That energy is draining you so they can leave you empty while they attempt to knock you off your game. Never let them see you sweat but sometimes work twice as hard so when they come with the “how you get here” question you can just smile and say hard work!

Happy Sunday but weed off them private sleuths you don’t need them. If they can’t celebrate you publicly let them go. Watch for the ones who don’t clap at your success trust me that’s all you need to know in how you move forward!


Day 6 Self Care September Challenge

Today was a long day. I lost my driver’s license about 2 weeks ago. I did all I could to find it. Tore my house up from top and bottom to no avail. Just thinking about going to the DMV just makes my eye twitch. So I get into my car after dropping off the kids and go to the DMV but I go to the location it was before but it had been moved! Ugh!!!

I finally get to the new location which wasn’t super far and I walk in and it’s full and busy! What did I expect? It was a Friday?! I took a deep breath and was expecting the worst but nope! It was a 20 minute in and out. I was impressed. Now that it’s moved they have 20 counters and most of them were full. This was amazing. I ain’t got no complaints except that I had to pay almost 31 dollars but hey I needed it for my Saturday race!

Friday between work etc. I had to get ready for my Saturday race! To my surprise my new Fitbit came! I wasn’t expecting it to come but I was happy to be able to have it in time. This one is a bit of an upgrade and it’s water proof. I had my previous one for over 2 years and it was starting to glitch! I’m becoming that Run nerd who loves new gadgets!

Today self care was being content even when things got sticky! Enjoying my new Fitbit and being about my health in all things! I want to be the one who makes sure I am here as much as I possibly can for my future and my family! Also can I be grateful for great food. Not having to worry about dinners in the next couple of days…..was magical!

So let’s keep thinking about how our minds are moving or our anxiety is rising. It’s important to be about our mental health daily. Remember daily self care is above all things!

Day 5 Self Care September Challenge

What a day of pure happiness! I finally have all 3 of my kids out of daycare and in grade school! Can someone point me in the right direction? I feel like I can grab two things out the dollar bin at Target!! We are finally at one pick up and one drop off!! It’s like we are in our own Drumline! Thank you Jesus!

I can’t even contend with the pure happiness that I’m feeling. I was able to work and do a work out and it felt more calming. I didn’t have to worry about anything! That might be a stretch but it felt like it right after that drop off. My youngest didn’t cry and neither did I do it was a win all around! I definitely cried with my first!!

The rest of the day I was able to help my sis sister as well as make sure all of her future services were set up! It definitely was an amazing day! To end the day I poured a glass of sangria and as the kids went down I reflected on the early days when I would be rushing from work to pick up the kids in 2 different locations stressed not trying to get that late fee. Any parent who has a child in daycare knows about that dollar fee per minute per kid. I wasn’t late often but I had my few shares and a limited village to step in to assist! I thought about the times when they were extremely little and everyone was telling me to get the kids on the schedule except each kid was on their own individual schedules and often times that would be the struggle! I thought about the times when a car would break down or traffic was a mess and the immediate tears would come. I remember when I couldn’t be in two different places and sometimes had to choose which kid we would have to go to an event!

It doesn’t mean that I don’t miss my kids being small because that’s a lie. I would be lying if I didn’t appreciate the stay at home days when my life revolved around them. I didn’t have an ounce of an outlet and thus this blog was birthed! I am appreciative now when I can attend events or getting invites that I didn’t know even existed like I do now. Those days keep me humble! However insert the Tootsie Roll I love that each kid can do so much for themselves allowing me to change my role as mom and still find the balance in life! Times have changed but my love for my kids won’t! I pray they have an amazing day today and and everyday!! This momma is tired and maybe I should take a sleep in day soon!! Until then let me find out when their next off day is so I can get it together by then!

Day 4 September Self Care Challenge

So today is Day 4 of the Self Care Challenge and yesterday was eventful. My twin came home after being in the hospital for major surgery! I can’t begin to say how relieved I am right now!

Yesterday started with me taking my oldest two to their first day of school. I also made sure my niece was good to go as well. After that we went to a kindergarten meeting for my youngest. My husband and I spent a good few hours alone with our youngest to talk to her about her new school and play with her. I know she enjoyed it. We took the oldest to lunch and then spent the afternoon getting into gear to get my twin.

Let’s say getting her home was eventful to say the least! When we left it was sunny. By the time we grabbed food and headed home it started pouring rain! Oh did I mention her shoes were at home because I thought they were with her. So I had to get another pair for her. Try putting on her shoes in the soaking rain and having to ditch the umbrella to do so! After bringing the kids into the house and her out of the rain my hair was super soaked. Oh and the biggest issue-I somehow left her medications at the hospital. I was quietly devastated but luckily my husband picked them up. How did I manage that moment of anxiety? I took deep breaths and called the floor of the hospital for her nurses! I went into the mode that I would go and get them since it was on me to begin with! I was afraid that someone else had grabbed them since I had so many bags and the kids to navigate.

After getting home and continuing the night rituals with the kids I was able to eat something light as per the usual my stomach was in pain from the lost medicine issue! Stress even if it’s for a moment can wreck your world. That is where I found myself yesterday. Trying to navigate between this high level of anxiety and beating myself up for even forgetting it. I wanted to rely on the truth of the day and the days leading up to that moment and the pure exhaustion I’ve been in but the reality is I didn’t want my twin to be in pain for my negligence!

I’m glad it all worked out and that all went went within the hour! I’m glad that I was able to quickly realize that I needed to get to a resolution instead of only focusing on how I felt. I do plan on getting some rest in the day or so from this! I need my nerves, anxiety, tiredness, and exhaustion to be handled. I know once I do that I won’t be so easily distracted!!

Shout out to So Delicious for the amazing kiwi coconut non dairy yogurt that met me in my quiet time! It was sweet and right on time to help me end my night!

I almost forgot to mention that this little friend or should I say friends met me on my car as I was about to leave the house to get my twin. I almost gave them the whole car-kids and all!!

I’m glad my twin is home and I’m glad my oldest had their amazing first day of school and most importantly I’m glad that I was able to calm down and continue on the day’s path!!

Day 3 of Self Care September

Like I said I’m giving you a daily blog showcasing my day. I had someone send me a message asking why is the day delayed. It’s delayed so I give you the full day. I thought that was clear but apparently it wasn’t! So each day will be blogged the next day to give a full day! I hope that makes it clear!

Any who! Yesterday was my niece’s first day of preschool. Making sure she was already to go was everything. Right now I’m helping my sister navigate through her health! With that in mind it was so special to watch my niece run off and start her day. I also had to get my own kids ready for their first day which I’ll talk about tomorrow.

Shout out to @natural.not.nappy who always gets my oldest hair slayed and ready for 5th grade! Also it wasn’t even just about getting her hair done it was great to be able to just vent and speak openly about what’s been happening these days! Also it’s never too early for adult juice! Thank you girl and (her husband K) for that compression moment!

Let me also mention I had a run in with someone who I had a run in years ago. However I felt the first time I had words I allowed them to step a line and this time it was a straight nope!! There will be no habitual line stepping this time around. I’m all for being accountable for my actions but I can be accountable and still speak authentically to people. I think I have tried to tone down my “get back” so far to not go off on folks that I’ve allowed folks too much leverage! Balance is key so there’s going to be pop off moments and moments of calm.

Next up it was time for my son to get his cut. He was so ready and excited!

It was a busy day! Between my niece, my kids hair and back to the hospital to visit my twin I’m surprised I didn’t fall asleep right away! I ended up going to bed late because as a mom I had to label supplies, clean up, eat my own dinner separately, clean the house and I decided to relax by finding a new series on Netflix. I wanted to work out but I will take care of that today!

I had so many moments of frustration but trying to mask it until I had some quiet time to deal with it. I took note of every time I couldn’t let something go. I kept track of every time I found my voice escalating. I wanted to be clear that I didn’t just want to just get through the day but deal with my feelings. Even in the two disagreements (yup another one closer to the evening) I wanted to be sure that I understood what was my role and why. What did I want to get accomplished? I made a list while I watched Styling Hollywood!

So highs and lows and more understanding while I go through daily triggers. I’m hoping to be more aware of them to address them before they become an issue.

Also aren’t these cookies for our kids teacher gifts cute? Made by crystals_creations_!

Tuesday-Monday Motivation!

Today is the Monday after Labor Day! Most kids are back to school today! Blessings for an amazing year! My kids have later this week to go back! With that in mind traffic is a mess, folks have bad attitudes, the rudeness is at an all time high!

Take a deep breath. I’ve already had to do that this morning. Learning to maintain my cool regardless of others is a skill set. If you find you are failing it most days or moments than it’s up to you to work at it. One way is to be proactive and not reactive. This means compensate for others lack. It’s annoying but necessary. I do this often so when the time comes to turn up with a person I can do it for the right reasons.

Be prepared. You already know how the morning will be. Prepare for it! Make sure you all have things together to take the edge off of your day! The days that I’m the most unprepared is when I draw in more crazy. Cut some of it out by doing your part!

Take mental breaks. I sometimes can zone out but you can do it for a purpose. Sometimes I have take a moment to not go off or be in an aggressive state. It helps me to be able to bring myself back into subjection! It’s worth it trust me! Sometimes folks and things don’t be worth the drama.

Whatever you need today be clear in how to get it. If you are bummed out find out your why and ask yourself what do you really need to happen. Sometimes unrealistic expectations is the cause of some of the issues! Being aligned with what should or could happen can help push you through to where you really need to be!

Crush your day! Yes long weekends even if you didn’t have any thing on your plate is hard to come back to reality! However if you reset your mind you can make it through any challenge! Go and make your day that much better even if it started on the wrong foot…..

Day 2 of Self-Care September 2019

Today was a good day! I started the day out by praying. I had a lot of quiet this morning by getting up before my family to prepare the day. I also was able to do some yoga stretches and enjoy my cup of coffee.

The rest of the day I was super mindful of what I needed to do as well as what I wanted to do. Today I was able to have them work together but there are many days when that doesn’t happen. I had a long list of to dos! One of the to dos was to be clear when I spoke! I didn’t want anything to be done today that wasn’t intentional. So I was selective in being on social media. I wasn’t on it as much! I wasn’t checking every few minutes and I was still productive.

I purposefully didn’t answer some text messages back. I prioritized text importance. I also didn’t take all calls today. I let a few folks go to voicemail. Lord willing I will check back in tomorrow. It felt good to be able to not feel such a sense of urgency. Today being Labor Day didn’t sway me to feel the need to find something to do. I just wanted to get done and enjoy the peace of the day!

Also I was able to end the day at Saxbys. As much as I love wine; I also love coffee. Today I had a matcha drink that was divine. It’s called #Bigmood and it was sweet and made with almond milk, matcha, butterfly blossom tea, and sweet raspberry greatness! I wanted the drink and I knew Saxbys always has me covered! Also can I take a moment to thank the barista who was patient with me as I hadn’t updated my debit card in the app she just simply waited until I did. No huffing and puffing and rolling of the eyes-just simple patience!!!!

So for all of my to dos-reflective thought process as well as centering myself started my Self-Care September into high gear!