Good Reports: My Hysterectomy Update

So I’ve blogged about having a full hysterectomy last year. Although it might be quite private for some, this was one of the best things that happened to me. It helped me to push my life in the right direction.

I’ve been super honest about the journey. I’ve talked about how I started to attempt to lose weight and then hit a wall. I found that I was getting a lot of the areas of my health in line and then bam I was sick, having horrible headaches, and my cycle was so off it made no sense.

After losing so much blood and my blood being so low and at the point of having a second dose of iron infusions, I decided to have a complete work up. I went to two specialists who worked together and came up with the plan and because of them and always God my life has improved tremendously. My hematologist walked me to my OBGYN specialist in person and we all sat down together and came up with a plan. They were hands on and made sure I didn’t feel stuck.

Yesterday I went to the doctors and was told that everything looked great. I had lost the weight and more, my body had healed, and that I was the model patient. I also had a note from the nurses who said I was a joy and made them laugh even though I was in so much pain. To be honest that had to be more pain medication induced than anything. I also was told that I would still need to come back to have my exam done but that I didn’t need to send off anything to a lab since go figure there is no uterus. Such a great turn from last year when I was at my wit’s end, sleeping all the time, etc.

Sleep Patterns

So let me tell you real of what I had to get used to while I healed. There are a lot of women who have had and will have a hysterectomy for various reasons. I personally had already had my tubes tied before the surgery and yet I felt a weird sense of lost after the surgery. I had various dreams of babies quite often and if you add that my body’s clock was off, the insomnia took over the first few weeks. I was sleeping like a baby. No not let men do (some) when a new baby comes home, the kind where day is night and night is day type of sleep. I didn’t regulate my sleep pattern until well over 2 months and I had been back to work by then. It may have been well into 3 months after the surgery.

Sex

Please like I’ve said if you’re coming to read this part to hear about my bedroom secrets let me stop you now! Sex does change after surgery. Some women experience dryness that makes sex super painful. Some have no drive. A lot of that depends on the healing process. Let me also note if your doctor hasn’t cleared you don’t try it. That means do NOT have any form of sex or place anything in your vaginal area. If you do you will regret it. Get a new hobby as you heal. Make your partner wait a minute too. It’s either that or find yourself back in the hospital or injured! It ain’t worth it! Sex was the last thing on my mind during healing. I was trying to master things like getting in and out of bed, going to the bathroom, and pain management! I had zero issues waiting. However my paranoia did creep in once I was cleared. I did have to find a good rhythm and relax. I was scared that there would be a lot of pain. My husband and I waited 1-2 more weeks after I was cleared.

Hair Growth/Hair Falling Out

My hair didn’t fall out. That is a blessing. I honestly thought it would since I had braids AND when I was postpartum with my kids my hair was falling out in clumps. I figured hey this surgery is sending me into menopause surely my hair is going to hit the floor! It did not!! However I found hair in other unwanted areas. It has leveled out and I personally think it had a lot to do with me being on hormone replacement therapy patches for a while. I got off of that soon after the hair discovery subsided and also it caused me to have heart palpitations. I thought there’s no way I’m going to look like a Chia Pet and feel like I’m having a heart attack too!

Weight Gain

After I had lost quite a bit of weight before the surgery I was paranoid that I would look pregnant as I recovered. I had a plan! I ate what I wanted for the first few weeks and by few I really mean 2! Uber Eats got all my money after my husband went back to work. Standing to prep food or cook was team too much! However I could use my strength to track those deliveries answer make my way to the door. After that food fun was over I stuck to the portion size and types of food for the remainder of the time since working out was out of the question.

Do I still get hot flashes? Yes. I think they honestly started back up in the last month. I had several months where it didn’t happen at all. I do think with the start of the new job and adjusting is contributing to the increase of the flashes. I am confident I will level out soon!

Overall I would do it again. I had 3 c-section with my 3 kids and I felt like I was prepared for the surgery and knew what to expect. Thankfully due to a little prep I had everything ready after I came home too. Shout out to Dr. M for all that he has done. I’m glad of the support of my family and friends during the journey. Now I’m just glad to be able to live a true healthy life! I’m glad that unlike many women who find themselves having to have a hysterectomy that I have my 3 kids. Not every women will experience childbirth and I’m grateful. Again I encourage all to be on top of their health. If something isn’t right or doesn’t feel right then speak up. I don’t even want to think would could have been had I not put myself first!

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Monday Inspiration: The Protection of No

Happy Monday to you.  Today I want to talk about the pain that comes along with NO.  Like children when we hear no we may experience a plethora of feelings.  From being disappointed, to hurt, to anger.  What you wanted and where you are in that journey makes your NO levels different.

If you were in what you thought was a loving relationship and you felt the next step was marriage only to find out that the person you held so dear to you is a fake, that NO that he failed you and the pain of starting all over again can be devastating. What about the pain in the NO when you are job searching?  Job searching is a numbers game at times.  You may hear several NOs in your lifetime where that is concerned.  Trust me.  When I got laid off of my job in 2010 right after having my premature daughter I was devastated.  I was thinking what in the world am I going to do?  I moved to Philadelphia and found out I was pregnant again.  Out of my element and new to a city I decided to take some time off and do the stay at home mom thing.  It was harder than I anticipated.  The time I decided to go back to work, I heard so many NOs my heart actually hurt.  I felt like I would be at home forever.  No after NO after NO began to chip at my spirit.  I am human I thought I have a college degree and experience why is this happening.  But it did.

During those difficult times of hearing NO and the mix emotions I felt, I got stronger.  I felt like I was taken a thousand steps back but I got stronger. I got a job and then began to progress to where I am now but the story wasn’t an easy one.  I have had moments where I second guessed myself. I cried.  I cursed from being so angry. I was miserable. I had to get it together.  So if you woke up and all you can do is hold onto the pain of NO, I get that.  Hear me clearly, when you let it go and walk with the sting of the pain and move forward you may not get that YES the same day, but you will if you don’t quit. At the very moment of quitting you will get a YES.  Put the work in.  Take moments along the journey of NO to renew your mind.  You may have to do this daily.  Whatever it takes, don’t faint and don’t quit.  There is protection in NO.  NO means something else is out there for you.  No means that the journey you paved for yourself wasn’t the journey YOU needed to be your best self.  Shocking how we think we know everything we need until life throws something our way to prove that we don’t.  Strive for excellence.  You can walk through the pain without the pain knocking your will to live out of you.  The protection is making sure you don’t walk further in pain.  There are people in places God never intended because instead of listening to the NO and letting it protect them, they let their personal desires walk them willingly into some mess and now they are miserable.  They shouldn’t be in that place and they know it.  Sometimes that stubborn will have you walking in circles.  When things don’t work out there is a reason.  If you are running late to a place, there is reason.  It’s protection.  Yes its frustrating but you don’t know what you are about to walk in.  Trust the process.  Have faith and walk in the sting of the pain don’t let the pain of NO overtake you.

Ask Toi: What do I do if I want to expose a person?

This is a general question. There really needs to be followed up with questions to this situation. Focus on the meaning as to why you want to expose the person. If it’s due to a crime or harm especially where children is involved you need to go to the proper authorities. There should be no loyalty over the harm of kids. So if that is the case, take a deep breath and expose the person. If it’s to get back after a fall out your motives may not be in the right place. Things in time will be revealed with anyone. So your willingness to expose the person due to anger or get back will come back to you. The old folks had it right when they said while you “dig one grave you might as well dig two.” Be clear on your why. Everything ain’t for get back purposes. I know Karma serves her dishes appropriately so you don’t have to let the way you feel push up her sentence.

I’m not saying don’t expose I’m saying be clear on your why. Be sure it’s for the reason of justice that is valid and not purely for the gain of making you feel better for how someone may have treated you. Exposing someone just to get back and it’s not for a real purpose of them doing something they shouldn’t have actually done is headache. Also be sure if you do expose them you have proof. This is not the time to interrupt someone’s life on a “felt like a punch” movement. Felt like a punch is a joke my college friends would use amongst us to say whatever was happening wasn’t really happening but we imagined it would had it gone down the way we were describing it. Don’t let that be you while you are focused on the wrong angle to approach the situation.

Good luck!!

Birthday Message: 37 is freeing

Soooooooooo it’s the final day of #toibration. It’s my actual birthday today. What a year it has been! Every birthday is a time to renew! It’s a personal New Year!

It’s a time to reset! It’s a time to figure what didn’t work and redo a few things. My husband made a status on Facebook yesterday about my bucket lists. I don’t know if I can call it that! I took on a journey to be free. Free from all things! I’ve stepped out and crushed quite a few goals! I’m pretty damn proud of myself. Like I’m not just another year older but I’m grown, like real grown! I feel like despite of being where I am in my life I’ve accomplished so much since last year. I can stand on my own! I’m the type of grown that isn’t waiting until I turn 40 to know who I am! I know who I am and I’m stepping into my own and liking it! Let’s back step I’m loving it!

I remember the days my mom would say when you get grown…. and in my 20s I thought I had gotten there only to find I was really just a big girl in a grown world. Now, I’ve touched a piece of the surface and I can say I’m grown!! Although years later I’m sure there will be new affirmations and new revelations, today I can’t help but thank the Lord for mercy and grace. How many times have I been close to death and been spared?! Too many times and this is why I celebrate everyday.

For years I had been taken many L’s. That’s losses for those who don’t know. From being unhappy, to moving and not thriving, for taking jobs with no advancement, to almost having my marriage on the edge, my health in jeopardy etc., walking away from a few folks, these last couple of years have busted my emotions. I made up in my mind to not blame anyone until I could determine what part I played in things.

On my Facebook page I highlight national days! I do it because it makes me happy. I do it because there is something big or small that we can be happy about. It doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days! I do! It doesn’t mean that stuff don’t go left because it does. But anytime I can wake up and see life in me and around me, there’s a reason to smile and walk in grace!

This new year I plan on stepping even further out of my comfort zone! I plan on working or should I say continuing keeping my inner peace in tact! I’m not interested in rekindling old relationships unless those individuals have done the work like I’ve done! I’m okay with my circle and those who are gifted into my life! I don’t need high numbers of folks who aren’t invested in me. Any a few that remain may get shaken to be honest. I’m changing and as my needs change and I want the right people around me!!

I want to take more trips this year! Grow stronger as a mother! Be deeper and more connected to my husband. Have amazing sex!

Yup I said it, I’m grown! Be and receive great friendships! I want to fix a few relationships that need mended! I want to be an amazing aunt to my nieces. Yes I can climb that ladder. Yes I can go after whatever is for me! I want to really stretch out and grow in mind and spirit! I would say body but that’s an extra hell no!

So happy birthday to me and my twin!! It’s a good day today and this new year will be full of greatness!!

So cheers to an awesome day, birthday month, end of Toibration, and birthday reset!!

Solo Trip: Phoenix, Arizona

So I just had the BEST time ever for a few days in Arizona. Solo trips can be unnerving but they are definitely worth it.

The reason for a solo trip is simple, I can do what I want and for how much of it that I want. Who doesn’t like to get away?! I have been trying to make a trip around my bday become a yearly adventure but with mine and the kids’ schedules around my birthday a trip wouldn’t have been feasible soI had to pump it up a little. I refused to not take a trip just because it wasn’t during my birthday week.

My goal while on this trip was to relax, enjoy, and to step out of my comfort zone.

So with this thought in mind I decided to book. What I did was looked for flights first and then booked the trip around the best price instead of trying to find a flight around a particular date. I didn’t mess around when I found a flight that worked. I also set a tracker to see if the flight stayed grounded price wise. Once I found the price of the tickets to be within my budget I booked it. I then worked on hotel accommodations after the fact. There are a lot of deals out there so I focused on the amenities that meant the most to me. I felt like I had a lot of wiggle room since my family wasn’t attending this trip!

I picked Arizona because for quite some time I wanted to travel to this location. The other reason is the weather. I love heat. So I wanted somewhere that I felt I could get it and Arizona definitely didn’t disappoint. The weather was over 90 each day. And I was able to do a lot of activities, rest, and eat well.

So let’s break this trip down:

I arrived in Phoenix on Friday. My travel started very early. With that I was up at 230am and once I landed due to the time zone change, morning started all over again. I was extremely jet lagged. However once I checked into my hotel, a burst of energy and excitement came over me.

I stayed at the Grand Canyon University Hotel. It’s located in Phoenix and its through the college campus and ran by students. This hotel is super nice and super clean.

Now let me give you the pros and cons of this hotel.

The pros:

  1. Campus atmosphere
  2. Restaurant and bar was great
  3. Pool and cabanas
  4. Easy going staff
  5. Baristas are super bomb almost better than Starbucks
  6. Security is tight. They had an armed guard not a flashlight cop throughout the premises

Cons:

  1. No usb cord plug ins
  2. No microwave or fridge
  3. No safe in room to secure belongings

So as you can see the pros outweighed the cons. Not having a fridge wasn’t a huge issue. It stopped me from getting more food than I needed which in the long run was a good look anyway.

Few things if you are traveling alone:

  1. Do not be afraid to eat out. I enjoyed it and didn’t stay on my phone to take the edge off of me being alone
  2. Keep both hotel keys on you at all times
  3. Never reveal that you are alone while out and about
  4. Do a tour of the hotel so you know where everything is
  5. Be vigilant while out aka stay off your phones so your guard isn’t down
  6. Social media- do NOT check in while away. I used Snapchat and Instagram stories the whole time and made sure I didn’t reveal the city or state etc!

My first stop was the Phoenix zoo. I had a blast. Although yes I could go to the Philadelphia zoo, it was a great way to start the day. I was able to feed giraffes, touch sting rays, and ride camels. I felt like a kid. Anyone who knows me knows I’m the biggest kid. Waking around eating snacks, enjoying the heat and doing the activities was exactly what I needed.

As if I hadn’t been traveling and should have been tired from the hours at the zoo I spent, I headed over to IFly Phoenix. Now they do have one in Philly however I’ve been too scared to try it. IFly is the experience of flying suspended in the air and trust me it’s an experience of a lifetime. You go through a class that trains you on what to expect since while suspended you won’t be able to hear. They are with you and guide you through. This experience was definitely worth it. You can check out my video here IFly.

After the flying experience I was tired. The excitement was wearing off and the earliness of the day was creeping up and I slowly walked to Target to get a cord. That didn’t stop me from getting a drink or two before heading off to bed once back at the hotel.

So I got 9.5 hours of sleep. I still woke up as if I was home and after I realized I didn’t have to make my son’s 6am breakfast I quickly went back to sleep. I was off to the pool to do a few hours of lounging. I enjoyed the steady flow of cocktails and water. Word to the wise in Arizona, water is your friend. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Even at 8am it was already hot.

I love laying around at the pool but I love even more is just the heat. I did get in the water which I know my husband was under the impression that I wouldn’t. The way that heat was set up even under the cabana it was not playing games. Just think it’s just Spring in Phoenix and already well into the 90’s.

So to continue on with my day I decided to attend the Cajun Fest and meet up with my girlfriend who lives in the area. It was so much fun. They had all kinds of food from crawfish to alligator bites. I stuck to brisket, Mac and cheese and beignets. As with any festival the drinks was super weak so we decided to opt for beer. The local favorite is called the Purple Haze! I really enjoyed it!!

Oh by the way, there was a watermelon eating contest which was a blast and a half to watch. We also went with the intention of bar hopping. “What had happened” was we got stopped at the first bar and called it a night. I ain’t in my 20’s anymore. Plus it just allowed me to go back to the hotel to eat and drink some more.

On Sunday I had all kinds of intentions of getting out but the way my life was set up I opted instead to workout and lounge and the pool and have a lazy Sunday. It was the best. I got so much journaling done without interruptions. Listened to adult music vs. Johnny Johnny. That in itself was a blessing! 🙌🏾

Monday was a full day to tour Sedona. This was probably the highlight of my trip. I toured through Detour West. They were hands down amazing during the booking process to the pick up and drop off. I learned a lot, saw some of the most beautiful sights and the group I was with was small and a lot of fun!! Shout out to Robert for being the best tour guide!!

While in Sedona, we stopped in uptown Sedona for us to shop and eat on our own. One of the things I love to do is eat outside. So as soon as I saw the yellow umbrellas I knew, 89Agave was the spot for me. 89Agave is a Mexican restaurant which is another one of my favorites and the drinks and food was amazing.

I experienced heat exhaustion from all of the walking so I had to get some more water and take a nap before I went back to the pool after the sun went down. Now I had experienced the heat exhaustion with taking every precautions. I was told this could happen so I was well prepared and knew the signs of heat exhaustion.

Another tip is to keep sunblock on you so you can reapply often. I had 3 different kinds on me and definitely used them. Shout out to my girl Stephanie from sassy codesigns for designing me an awesome drinking cup for my travels. Between some adult juice and water I was drinking in style!

All in all I had a great time. I enjoyed my time away. Now let me just put a few things into perspective, during the tour I met a woman who had been away for the first time in her 17 years of marriage. Although that is a blessing for her to have been able to get away, women we have to get to a place where we take our lives and how we move seriously. No not everyone can book a flight and leave, but you can take a staycation even in your own city. Before you hit me with the I can’t afford talk, let me show you where you been wasting your money.

For the past year I bought a mini notebook and in that notebook I wrote down my bills and every purchase made. I was able to sit and see exactly where I had splurges. After I noticed the money that was wasted on things that didn’t matter I was able to cut those expenses. So less money on frivolous things to save up for a trip is doable. Taking your income tax money and paying down bills instead of getting electronics, bags, or shoes will help too.

The less money in bills you have to pay will put that money back into your pocket. So if you don’t have the money to take some time away even for a weekend it may be time to enlist better spending skills or time to invest into a financial planner. The money I save in couponing I could have stayed longer or taken another trip. Open your eyes to what you are doing in your finances. Even on tight budgets you can find ways to be more frugal.

The benefits to taking a trip alone:

  1. Being able to do what you want
  2. Downtime to get your mental in order
  3. Time to plan your next moves
  4. Fun on your own terms
  5. Ability to meet other people
  6. Way to keep yourself grounded on all levels

Extras:

It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have a few extra things that made my travel and planning go so well!

Let me shout out Shein clothing company. They are the ones responsible for my bathing suit. I found them on The Real talk snow Instagram and I wasn’t disappointed. They have all sizes and the clothes were of excellent quality. I got my traveling T-shirts from them as well.

Shout out to Old Navy as they provided the jacket and a few other shirts during my trip!!

Ear plugs, I elected to have the ones that aid in air travel. They were about 6.99-7.99 from my favorite spot, Target!!! You will have to order them as they aren’t sold in stores but this beats the cheaper ear plugs as it regulates air pressure during take off and landing.

It cut down on ear popping and not once did I have to hear the little girl who was screaming her head off a few seats ahead of me. Also I would suggest eye mask. It made me sleep super well on my 4-5 hour flight. Between the earplugs and eye mask I was in an oasis of comfort both coming and going.

Battery power

So I am always on my phone. However while being out and about in a city and state I’ve never been, having a full powered cell was important. Now you can continue to have to charge one of those cute battery packs that you can get from Five Below or you can step your game up with a Vinsic battery pack.

Portable charger, Vinsic 20000mAh External Battery Back Phone Charger for iPhone X iPad Samsung Galaxy Cell Phones Tablet https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZH33Q6U/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_8703AbZRDXJQH

This battery charger did NOT need to be charged my entire trip! I charged my cell at night and while out I was able to draw full battery time every day that I needed it. You can charge two devices at once. I swear by this battery that once you get it you will never buy another battery pack in your life and it’s approved for flying!!

The one thing I would elect to do is to get a rental car. Arizona is do dense that Uber and Lyft really added up for me. Thankfully I was prepared for the cost, if you want to save a few dollars do rent a car. I just didn’t want the responsibility of having to drive and I enjoyed being able to be carefree with not having to drive.

I accomplished my goals of relaxing and having a great time. While away I was able to finalize my next moves and upon my return I have some new moves that I will blog when it’s time to. I am super grateful for the down time. I know my fam bam is excited to see me and I look forward to hugging them tight and to know all those meals I prepped has given me a few more days of not having to cook.

Shout out to my husband for not stifling me as I continue to grow in my personal development. When I booked he didn’t side eye me once. He encourages this growth so I can be the best woman I can be and in return has been making me the best wife and mother. This self journey has been going strong for over a year from the inside out. Also thanks for following my Uber and Lyft rides so you knew I was safe!

Shout out to my family and close friends who checked in with me and allowed me space to enjoy my time.

Shout out to my readers who enjoyed the blogs I left on my Facebook page while I was away. I definitely didn’t log into my pages while I was gone! Now it’s time to shift into my annual Toibration 10 day birthday countdown and activities and start all of the Mother Day blogs. Some will be reposts and others fresh blogs!!

Thanks for taking the time to read about my solo trip and if you’re ever needing some down time, Arizona is a spot you should put on your radar!!

Monday Reset

Good Monday morning.  I know its hard to start your week off right on days when you don’t feel you are at your best.  Today is one of those super soaker rainy days when all you want to do is get in bed.  I right now want to be curled up in my bed with my laptop and a few magazines but life calls.

Image result for monday blues

I remember on days like today when I want to escape that Mondays are the beginning to the end of the week. I can’t get to Friday without starting my Monday off right.  I have a lot on my plate and that means that I need to push forward and pass how I feel.  I have to reset my thinking to crush these goals.  I still have to show up.  Above showing up on a Monday, I need to be clear.  As much technology that we have, I still thrive on to do lists.  I still thrive on writing down goals so when I complete them I can go to the next goal.  So with that being said, reset your thinking. I looked back at things that didn’t work last week and made changes according to what will set this week on fire. Is it getting up earlier and getting things done?  Is it preparing things differently?  Whatever that looks like for you, you have to do.  Your week and life depend on changed attitudes and mindsets.  So set yours on fire by shaking the Monday blues and getting clear on what you want to do and what it will take to get there!

Image result for monday blues

One year down… weight loss-chronicles

Welp a year has come. I have managed to keep my weight off and in addition I’ve managed to fight through the ups and downs along the journey. I’ve lost around 70 pounds to date but it wasn’t easy having to turn my back on dairy or indulging in my favorite comfort food in excess.

When I first began to lose weight it was more about me attempting to grab my life back. Here I was almost 36, out of shape, miserable in my own skin, and most importantly unhealthy. I have a fluctuating body type. So this simply means that I can go up and down at any given time if I’m not careful even with working out and eating right. To combat that I used the techniques that I leaned in my Weight Watchers class to change my relationship with food.

Depression

It’s one of the worse cause of weight loss to me as it’s more than size, it’s more of a mental road block. It can allow you to have knowledge of what you should do or even should be but it is one of the hardest things to “shake.” Depression had set in quite a number of times and I wore it proudly everyday in each outfit and every look. I tried to over dress. So I wore clothes that were too big. In my mind I needed to cover up my body so no one would see it or see me.

Big isn’t Always Better

Watch out for the big girl is a bomb club mix. Watch out for the big girl

It’s also how I felt I was being viewed by others. There isn’t one thing wrong with big and sexy if done right. I’ve seen some of the most empowering heavy set women who own their sexiness better than a girl on the runaway. However when you aren’t meant to be a certain size your ability to hold on to a sense of sexiness goes out the door. I tried to own it but couldn’t. I wasn’t supposed to be the size that I had gotten. All I did was complain, compare, and fall deeper in the hold of depression. I was over 200 pounds and I wasn’t pregnant as I was being described. I had let myself go.

Lows

We all who have been on a weight loss journey remember the days of counting calories or points. In the beginning you are super excited and then it wears off as you try to re-enter a normal life with normal eating habits. At least that’s what I thought. When I had a high it made me excited but those lows, were a bit much. Feeling like I couldn’t get it together made my low days that much worse. I found myself justifying my emotions as excuses to eat what I knew I shouldn’t have to deal instead of staying the course. The only thing that kept me was learning not to let these moments keep me there and is I had a donut or something bad earlier in the day I didn’t have to wait until the next day to reset.

Pictures Please

I took and continue to take pictures even on the days when my stomach peeks through. Having kids allows them to be great props. However it’s just another mechanism to cope. It was either use the kids or be the photographer and not have to be in the pics. When I first started losing weight I got folks saying why are you taking so many pics. Imagine another grownup asking another grownup why something that didn’t take anything away from them a series of questions?! The pictures are now and was then a way for me to see my progress. I always check the neck and face. I’ve had days when people’s comments seemed to get under my skin and I had to remind myself why I was losing this weight. It wasn’t for likes but more for me to like myself when I had no clothes on. It’s easy to dress your body type and blend, but to like what you see, naked and vulnerable isn’t.

Wardrobe Change

When I first lost weight I was scared, judge-mental and excited to get new clothes. I’ve had to take quite a few outfits back for still buying the clothes that wasn’t my size. Losing weight is great until you can’t lose the weight in your mind. Thank goodness for friends who literally pushed me away from the old size and into my new size. I struggle every time still with clothes. I’m stuck in the middle of yes grab the smaller size to Girl don’t show too much!

So yes I’ve got all kind of tips to help with weight loss but….. the reality is that the journey is up and down and good and bath. The best part isn’t just the weight loss but the ability to be able to be healthy inside and out. For the first time in my life between Surgery and weight loss I’m not anemic. All of my tests are normal. I’m not ashamed to step on a scale and I feel great!

So if you’re struggling with seeing others lose weight and feel like you can’t commit you may be in a situation where you won’t have a choice. You will have to push past bad habits, denying yourself of your wants, feeling defeated to days where after all of your hard work the scale just looks at you and doesn’t move. Whatever your journey presents know that you can do it! You can fall several times throughout but I would rather fall then drop out of my own race!

Take each day and moment at a time. Reset many times! Don’t fall apart as you make change your bad isn’t your worst. Work on portion control and definitely work with your doctor to eliminate or add what you need for your health concerns. Don’t get caught up in diet fads. Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s. It will look different even if you follow the same rules.