Why I am not being nice to Side Chicks

Today is side chick appreciation day.  This is the day when the memes come out hard.  I heard someone say that we should be nice to a side chick and this is my response to that, hell naw I won’t.  I know that came a bit left but that is my real life rated G version of my response.  Why should anyone feel sorry for a side chick.  Often times side chicks can be side blinded.  The men who side line a side chick really are a piece of work. This means that not only do you not respect your wife or girl but you don’t respect the one you messing with to come correct and at best tell them they are a side chick.

Now the issue with the side chick first let me deal with the man first than I will bring this thing back to full circle.  You have NO game.  Its sad but the reality is that some side chicks will play their “part.”  Yes you can find a raggedy woman who is patiently waiting on the sidelines for any love before she turns up with no love.  This I will address when I swing almost literally to the side chick herself.  If you as a man really had it like that you could tell that side chick that she’s a side chick and she may go for the okie doke.  But often times that side chick is lied to just as much as the lie the man is keeping with his committed girlfriend and wife.  Um let me just say you don’t have enough dick or money to entertain one woman let alone more than one.  Straight like that, no chasers today.  I am not coming from a bitter been burnt by side chick games either but the truth is the truth. So while you may get away with the game of hurting the one you are with you will find out sometimes when it’s too late that it’s not worth it.

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The chances of your woman taking you back is slim or at least it should be.  Ladies I know some men go to counseling and attempt to do better but you better be 1000% sure you can handle that.  The amount of distrust that is done after someone cheats is unimaginable.  If you are the type that brings that back up a million times, you would be better off leaving that cheating man and sending him a clear message that this type of behavior is not acceptable with you than to stay and drag yourself and him through it.  If one of you should go through the ringer shouldn’t it be the one who committed the offense?

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Now to the actual side chick or side dude especially the ones who know.  Why?  Like legitimately why? There isn’t another man who isn’t already connected?  This one that appears like a good catch is the one?  What makes him or her a good catch?  Cheating is a turn on?  He or she won’t do that to you right?  Like for real, what is your motivation.  You are dipping yourself sometimes literally in the same pot.  That doesn’t seem sexy to me. So the nights like Valentine’s Day when a man or woman can’t make a viable excuse for not being home, what do you do?  Hold your pillow tight?  Look at your gifts he had to send to you because he’s not there loving you.  Let me guess, you think he’s not with his wife or her husband?  I know that’s what they told you.  How come he or she hasn’t left their wife or husband?  Your stuff not bomb enough to make him roll?  Oh yeah the kids, yeah that’s called an excuse.  No one should ever stay for the kids.

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Listen if being second to the main is good for you, than you will never have much.  No one cares about your place.  You have none.  Once that wife and husband finds out trust me they are going to make your side boo’s life hell.  Once that happens the spark you once saw won’t be as strong as you think.  They the wife and husband and your boo will blame you. This isn’t anything new that you haven’t heard its just time out for being the sloppy second to another woman or man’s main.  Let people figure their relationships out without being the one sliding in between them.

So not I don’t sorry for a side piece today.  You get what you deserve.

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Keep Your Knee Pads

I want every lady to hear me.  I need you to hear me loud and clear this morning.  We as ladies have to have respect for ourselves.  I had a discussion with my husband and we talked about the male and female ratio.  We know that women for the most part out number men.  However just because of those numbers doesn’t give a man a right to disrespect women and settle or put up with foolishness either.  Think about that for a second.  You are a woman who is waiting on Mr. Right but instead Mr. Right Now comes and wants to ask you to do things that you aren’t comfortable with just because he thinks he can.

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I in my own young life have done things to disrespect myself.  Let’s keep it all the way 100. I can’t blame relationships, situationships or down right just doing things that were disrespected myself on others.  I can take my L where the L is needed.  However think about all of the times I turned down the foolishness too.  I know for women we all have been approached in less than honorable ways from co-workers, bosses, the man cat calling us on the corner, etc.  Women are constantly having to make someone respect our NO.  In the last years it’s getting out of hand that you can turn down a man’s advancement and get killed.  I think about all of the times someone grabbed my hand or my butt and because I spoke up for myself and said NO I could have been hurt or even killed.  It scares me as a mother because the reality is that I am teaching my daughters to be confident and direct.

I had men do some things in my time.  I had a male boss tell me that the only way I would get ahead is if I sucked his dick.  Now let me just say for all you too churchy folks that I have reading this blog I will never sugar coat a thing.  If you looking for a flower blog this ain’t one.  The thought that ran in my head is my education, my long nights, my hard work and it comes down to sucking dick to get ahead?  Naw I will pass.  I could have just went with the flow.  However what wouldn’t have gotten me-nothing.  Any waves I make in my career won’t be gotten by short cuts, feel ups, or knee pads.  I know there are women forced in these situations every day.  But before I get on my knees I will quit a job.  Before I lower myself and have a random man’s penis in my face let alone in my mouth I will be on welfare before I take that kind of L.

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Men think that because statistically they make more money than most women they can literally sexually black mail women to get anything from us.  The only way it stops if we put aside the superficial benefit and understand that everything cost.  I had a friend who had a relationship with her boss.  She had to come running into his office anytime he called.  It got so bad he would show up at her house unannounced.  The issue was that you will never pay that type of debt in full.  The more you do the more they want.  It’s much harder to get out of these types of things.  The same way you were offered raises, and cash to get into it you end up paying with your dignity and sometimes life to get out. She had to start filming him doing things, saying things, etc.  Even then the humility to admit that she once did these and consenting was embarrassment enough.

I have a few friends who struggle to make ends meet.  They are on the cusp of pushing to do the basics.  However one thing I learned from the strong women in my family that life with struggle is better than life with handouts any day.  But on the flip of that keep in mind that you better know that man you entertain as well.  It don’t have to be some horned up boss that disrespect you.  It could be the one you lay up with and the one you feed as well.  These boyfriends and husbands aren’t always loyal.  Women can and are raped and forced to do sexual favors from the men they trust the most.  Anything that is done that doesn’t make you comfortable should stop.  I know we hear as women that when you get married you are supposed to be freaks in the bedroom.  You are supposed to always be on.  However its more important to have a connection and relationship built on mutual respect even in the bedroom.  As a wife no husband should be asking for sexual acts and favors under the guidance that we are married especially if the wife doesn’t feel comfortable doing them.  I’m sorry every sex trick ain’t for everybody.  Why as a husband can you see the fear on your wife’s face and be okay with that as long as you get your release? Where do you as a husband or boyfriend feel the need to push this mess on the women you claim you are here to protect.  Women aren’t blow up dolls.  If you want one of those to manipulate and do whatever you want, than go and get you one.  Your bedroom should consists of both consenting adults and not just consenting only on the strength because of title or so you as a husband or wife won’t stray.  I have said it before an I will say it again, you can’t hold a man’s dick in your hand.  You can’t stop him from doing what is in him to do.

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Respect for women needs to return.  The things I see men post about women disgust me. These boyfriends and husbands will disrespect you quick if you allow it.  Do NOT allow anyone to disrespect you.  Do not take an advancement for sexual favors.  Do not allow someone to tell you what you can’t get accomplished just because you won’t do either. There are women in other countries who don’t even have a simple voice.  Why in the United States do we allow the same thing in our homes or at our place of workplace?  Oh and let me say to my socially woke folks as well, you can’t be woke and disrespect women. Sorry you can’t wake and sleep to what you want and call yourself woke.  I saw a man on Facebook make a statement about women and then say he wants us to be respected.  How Sway?  How can that happen when you contradict yourself.  I spoke up and he told me that he meant that for the women who look good.  Oh so respect is only earned if a women’s heels are of a certain length?  Or let me guess, if her skirt is of a certain length as well? Nope not only did I unsubscribe to his foolishness but that is not the man I want in my circle or one that will have the opportunity to be around one of my daughters. A man’s arrogance will never be an excuse for the crap he deals.  I am learning now that arrogant men and I do not click well.  Ladies let’s end this on all levels. Stop the foolishness you allow and kick a knee pad before you allow yourself to be degraded.