It’s here, it’s finally here. The start of the holidays can begin. For all of those that have been dreading this or those who welcome it, it’s time to go into full gear. With that said not everyone will be spending the holidays with the most accepting family or friends. Honestly I would suggest to avoid drama to have a Friendsgiving meal instead of with family if the situation is toxic. Life is too short to be arguing over the dinner table. I would rather family be mad and get over it then to have to spend the holidays overwhelmed, angry, and then have this feeling stick with you for days. This is not that I do not like family gatherings, I do but I am anti stress of any sorts regardless of the occasion. In case you just can’t just not show up to a family gathering and you know there will unavoidable drama here are my tips to get you through:
- Have an exit plan. If you are traveling with others, make a code word. Something that only you and the ones you came in with know. Honor your sanity to know that you don’t have to spend a whole day, if after some time you are ready to roll, then do so. You are grown. Do NOT make up an excuse. Just simply be gracious, thank your host, and then leave. If you have to make an excuse then you haven’t realized how grown you are.
- Take a deep breath. Folks gon work your nerves. There’s no way around it. Be prepared for it.
- Don’t answer everything. Sometimes we talk to much just to prove a point and why? It’s not necessary. You don’t have to be right. There’s peace and letting folks play themselves. It’s amazing the folks every holiday that got a word for YOUR life, but yet ain’t got one for their own. Less is best.
- As long as you’re not on alcoholic tendencies, grab a drink but don’t overdo it. Two people tell the truth and that’s kids and drunk folks. Loose lips sink ships. So do not become so drunk that you allow your drunk muscles to speak for you. This is when things go left and what you should have dealt with sober you try to deal with liquid courage.
- Bring a hostess gift. Do you know the worst thing about the holidays is the part where folks talk about the ones who just come through with a plate but don’t ever bring anything to contribute. Bring something. Even if its momma house and she insist, slide momma a few dollars. Do something.
- Remember that Thanksgiving is one day. Do not fall into the trap in putting more power in the day that you forget what the day is about.
- If things get heated, retreat, leave, walk away. You know you are going to hear the same stories. the same drama, and the same everything, be prepared for it.
- Be realistic. If you chalk it up to be more than what you know it will be, you will be the only one disappointed.
- Have some fun-yes with all of the stress to prepare the perfect meal, be the best host, or just avoid going to jail remember to have a little fun. Play some games, enjoy that beverage, enjoy that piece of pie-enjoy!
- Do not bring anyone to someone else’s house without speaking with them beforehand. No you can’t bring your new flavor of this week to the dinner. We don’t want to meet them. No you can’t just bring a random dude to momma house. See them afterwards. I know people want to bring them a tenderoni to the dinner but unless you clear it with the hoss, meet up for some after Thanksgiving night cap and leave it at that. If you don’t take heed the only tenderoni you gon have is some ricearoni or get hemmed up in a corner. There are rules so know the rules before you go to someone’s house.
- For the single that get the when you getting married question, just be gracious. No matter what you say or do they gon ask. You might as well deal. If you are married and you get the whole, when are you having kids find a way to be gracious instead of mad. If you feel the need to be a little bit more stern than do so but remember stern don’t have to be ignorant unless someone has asked you several times in the same night and won’t respect your no.
- If you are married or dating and you are going over your in-laws or future in-laws, take the cue in how to deal with their family from your mate or boo. Stop overstepping your boundaries. Everybody family ain’t saved and you might get a bite you wasn’t expecting. Attempt to be respectful. If you feel you can’t remove yourself.
I hope you all have a great holiday. It will take a cool down, being focused on what the holiday is about, having a plan of action, and removing yourself from stressful situations to do that. Remember self-care sometimes means saying no, not over doing it, enjoying the moment and controlling your own responses. Have a good one and keep these things in mind.