Happy national donut day!! I had one and I mean only one donut and couldn’t really eat much of anything else. I forced myself to have a healthy lunch because that donut was definitely a lot of empty carbs. Well I hope you all had a good week. We are coming off a 4 day weekend some of us anyway from Memorial Day. I hope you had a great holiday weekend. We celebrated my daughter’s birthday and had a really good weekend. No complaints. So as far as this short week it has definitely been filled with a lot of ups and downs. So let’s get into it.
Personal Highs/Personal Lows
This week I am going to put these two categories together. There is a lot going on and I told you lovelies I would update you. One we had a great time celebrating my now 8-year-old. Time is flying when you’re having fun right? We are also gearing up for my son’s preschool graduation. I know some people make a big deal that these types of graduations are pointless but it just gives the little people something to look forward to. I personally feel like celebrations are what makes life great. Those who know me know I will make his day special. That’s what I do. I feel like life is about making memories that they can look back on. It’s better than buying a bunch of material things.
Also this week I have been vigilant with my doctors to get me an answer. I have been suffering with migraines for quite some time. I am also anemic. However with the new diet my doctor made sure I had all of the supplements that one would need and I increased all of the iron enriched foods so you would think I was good right? Wrong. I am not. My doctors and I have decided that it was time to get a hysterectomy. I know for some they get it done when they have fibroids. I do not have them. I am losing too much blood. My blood volumes and levels are one step to more transfusions. For some they would say, why not start a pill that would decrease your period. However the thing is that I have already done that. I have been on pills off and on. I got my tubes tied when I had my 3rd and last child. I know some would say why put this out there? One its MY BODY and my page. Secondly being a woman going through women issues is not a place of shame and I refuse to hide like I did something wrong. That is pure craziness. Why would I keep it hush-hush when there are millions of women like me going through the same thing.
I am no wonder. I won’t be the first or the last. Ladies my decision was about what was best for me. I have to do what I need to do for ME. Was my husband there? Absolutely. I know my decision will have an affect temporarily on my home but I had to do what was best for me. No need to lose this weight, do all of this work and still be underlying unhealthy. That is sheer madness. I know what I need to do and I know what can happen if I don’t. I love me and I need to be here as well as I have little people who need to have a healthy mom. So with that in mind in the next week that is what I will be doing. Have I researched all of the options? Absolutely. This has been an ongoing back and forth thing. I am prepared for the steps after. I do NOT claim to know it all. However I am fully aware that the steps towards self-love will help me through the down side of this procedure. So with MY family’s support we will be fine. I have learned to tune out some of the naysayers. They will say don’t let them take nothing out. Meanwhile I can’t count on them to watch my kids when I am somewhere bleeding out. I can’t slide them a bill when I am off of work and missing time off. I can’t count on them to pick up a phone call to say how is it going. You see that was a free nugget right? I refuse to give folks who show you they are more concerned with their bottom line than mine make my health decisions. Got to keep pushing towards what will work for me and the ones that have to live through all of this.
So with that in mind you may see an increase in blogs. I will have more down time. Whenever I have downtime, I write and I read so be on the look out. I plan to blog the hell out of this situation. Not to get sympathy. I am one strong cookie. But to raise awareness. My heart goes out to the women who are medically forced to make this decision and desire to have children and can’t. I have 3 kids and already put in place the parimeters not to have more already. There is no child birth loss for me. So for the ladies with this loss, it is a loss. I researched this and I find comfort in reading other blogs of women who have gone through this. And with life we are all connected. Keep me in prayer and stay logged on twitter (toitiemblog) and facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/toitimeladies/) as I will update.
- Kathy Griffin out here with a replica of Donald Trump being beheaded and it has set off this major storm on insensitivity. I think for me and this is where MY opinion comes off. It was a bit much. However if the same ones were upset when the nooses was being shown with imagery of Obama was shown and not because he is Black alone but on the principle of right and wrong than okay. If not than you just being extra. What people don’t get is that your argument is more valid when it’s based on principle. Meaning you would extend the same sympathy to another like you want it done for your favorite than you have merit.
- Ireland will have its first openly gay prime minister after Leo Varadkar was elected into the office.
- Withdraw of Paris climate agreement.
- Continuation of the Russian influence of the election. Continue to stand by for breaking news of this ongoing legal battle.
So I pray you all enjoy your weekend. There are some good movies. I saw Wonder Woman and as I thought without giving things away, I walked away feeling great about being a woman. I may see it again if you’re looking for a quick should you go or not-there you go. I am taking the kids to see Captain Underpants tonight. Summer movies are really heating up. I plan on some me time and I have to work. So find an activity that you enjoy and make yourself feel like the beautiful gem that you are.
Well I am hoping that your week has been a good one. Mine has been and is expected to get much better. This is my birthday weekend trip with the girls. I am super excited. My last time traveling them was in 2013 maybe to Miami and before then in 2008 Miami again. I love Miami if you can’t tell. However this time we switching things up and being grown in the city of Chicago. It’s important for me as a woman to keep my connections as tight as possible. On this journey to keep myself rounded means I can not only tap into my domesticated titles aka mommy and wife. I am first Toi and Toi needs to be happy and whole to be the best in those titles. I have some new blogs coming out about how we ladies have to be strong and confident even when things and others attempt to pull on our insecurity. Insecurity creeps in all of us, men too. The best thing is when you can look into the mirror and smile at the creation that God made you and be happy in your skin. I know it seems I am on all this self-improvement but if you don’t have self-love what do you have? I had to have an ugly cry this week. It was super cleansing but like momma always say cry on your own time don’t let these folks see you sweat.
- Trump care or F the Obama care as I have seen it described is on its way to be reversed. Trump’s full agenda isn’t fully clear but the basis is if you are poor or old, you better not get sick or be screwed. Nothing about healthcare under Trump will appease women either. I am super glad I am not pregnant right now. My anxiety would be that much more in a spiral. My suggestion is to start with your local government. Be vigilant to get the facts and stay away from the foolishness which will be super hard given leadership is almost dipped in it.
- Basketball for women is now allowing for hijab. This is a great thing. I think that in this melting pot of a world we need to allow those who to express their religious and culturally difference. So this is a step in the right direction.
- Flying which I am doing right now are having issues lately. It started with United Airlines and now Delta is getting into the action. A family was kicked off a flight with kids after a mix up about seating. I think the airlines are about to have a major overhaul with how they treat customers. It’s about time. Wouldn’t you want to keep everyone safe and happy to keep the coins coming in? No?!
- Trayvon Martin will receive a posthumous degree in aeronautical science from Florida Memorial University. It would be even better if Martin was here to pursue and earn his own degree but his life was cut short after he was shot and killed in 2012 by George Zimmerman. We still hurt over the degree by which black men are devalued.
- Last but certainly not least, 15-year-old Jordan Edwards was shot and killed by police as he was leaving a party. It is speculated that he and the occupants of the vehicle including his brother was shot at while leaving the scene. No it is not being said that they were causing a disturbance, they were just black and an over zealous cop shot and killed him. Now I can’t imagine knowing my brother is in the car bleeding to death as I am hand cuffed and being questioned. My hurt goes out to Edwards family and all families in these situations. I am not anti cops I have cops in my own family, but I am anti racist cops who are out here innocent people.
I am 2 more pounds down and 5 to goal. Yay! I can’t tell you how excited I am for this goal. I have worked hard, ate right, worked out tired and exhausted but I am super close. Also this week my daughter is killing it in school. I am super happy when my kids do what they need to do. We teach them nothing in life is free. It takes hard work. She also will be having her first communion. I am proud of her choice to step up and apply what she wants in her life. Can’t be mad at a child that actively tries to apply herself?! Way to go Naila!! Oh did I mention that we both have birthdays coming up. May is a good month for the Storr women!!!!
- Protect your babies-the amount of cruel and deadly force being used on kids is heart breaking. A lot of it comes from non parental aka boyfriends and side pieces that we as women leave them with cause we just “love him.” You better make sure he love them babies just as much as you do and don’t leave them with these men so freely giving them access to harm your babies.
This has been a crazy week. I have done some over time and the exhaustion has been unbelievable. However I have slept a little better than last week. This week has been about controlling my negative thoughts. I am one of those thinkers so when something has been said I have to admit my get back is quite strong. I will begin to think of ways to get cha. However because I am more mindful of it I have tried to combat it with positive thoughts and know that people will usually get theirs.
Also I will blog about an argument I had this week. It wasn’t a full argument but as I never want to put my business out there are a few things that women need to get from it and that and that alone I will talk about. Everything is about learning and growing.
Well again I will most likely blog a little less this weekend as my girls and I will have the time of our lives. But next week I will be releasing some new and old mom blogs in honor of Mother’s Day. If you still want to participate in the Mother’s Day blog for next week please email me at toitimeblog@gmail,com
Well I hope all is well. We are ending April on a pretty good note I think. I hope whatever you didn’t get to accomplish that you take some speed into May. It’s a new month around the corner. In addition to that it’s time to see where we did well and where we could have done better this week.
- It’s been a full 100 days in office for President Trump. No matter if you like him or hate him there has been more going on with his first 100 days than most full presidencies. For one we have had so much threats and rumors of wars. This is not something that we can act like won’t affect the world because we all know it will. So I don’t know what the next few years will look like, but you can best believe we will remain prayerful, vigilant, and woke.
- This week has been filled with sports hysteria. We are in the middle of the 2017 NFL draft weekend. I live in Philadelphia and let me say the buzz is not an overkill. People are out enjoying the full weekend events and it has been going well. If you haven’t already catch up on the picks and events.
- There has been more children being abducted in this week than before. Now that’s not saying I am supporting that statement with full facts. But there has been an increase of children all over my social media, in the news, and its getting crazier day by day. No matter how great of a parent anything can happen but please be more vigilant with your little ones now more than ever. Do not leave them unattended not even in the backyard. Keep them close to you when you are in stores and do not let them walk behind you on the streets. Grab your little ones hands. This may require that you take phone calls and text messages later but it’s better than putting up flyers. Pay attention to them. Some people are so evil that they watch how interactive you are with your children only to scoop in when they think you don’t care.
- R.I.P Robert Godwin Jr. If you do not know who he is he was the man who was walking home from an Easter dinner with his family and was shot at point-blank range by Steve Stephens who chose him randomly and killed him on Facebook live. It ensued a national manhunt that ended when he took his own life as police pursuit. I know this has story is slowly becoming yesterday’s news but out of respect please stop sharing these videos and videos like it. These are real life people who families would appreciate that you find a piece of morality and care.
This week I am down another 3.5 pounds. Won’t He do it?! Yes! I am super excited. I also did one of my own suggestions in a previous blog about keeping your mental sanity by buying flowers and placing them right on my night stand by my bed. When I have gotten up this morning I smell them. Let me tell you how much a store-bought 7.99 bouquet has done for me. Amazing things for my entire mood. Every morning after I have smelled them things have gone immediately crazy. I have little kids from bathroom accidents, to refusal to get up, to finding missing items it hasn’t affected me one bit. The flowers aren’t magical in the least bit. They just provide a place for me to go to my happy place as I start my day. Try it!
As always if you have missed a blog you are missing out so get caught up.
- How to deal with a jerk. It’s a quick reminder that adjusting your attitude can go a long way.
- Ask Toi: pet names and how speaking up can work wonders even in new relationships.
- Keep your knee pads-this was the #tbt of the week and we were talking about equality and the things that some men expect but wouldn’t do for themselves
- Dragging Lala: the internet was having a field day with the actress because in spite of Carmelo being wrong for infidelity she was supposed to forgive and forget. That is craziness. No woman should be cheated on and take it and especially when rumors of babies being added in.
- Single and married is the response to Carmelo’s rumored line that Lala was married he wasn’t. If you’re married you know right well you can’t openly cheat and that be okay unless you have an established open marriage that both parties agree on.
- Stress management-emotional stress can be a killer. All stress tugs on the matters of the heart. Deal with that to deal with the stress.
- Leave the kids out of it goes out to the rude comments made about if Serena Williams who we now know is pregnant while still competing. No her baby is not going to be made of chocolate milk but if it was it was be the best chocolate milk. Never talk about kids regardless of how you feel about their parents.
- Weigh in: 04/26/2017 this is where I share my newest update on my weight loss journey. PS. I also drank a unicorn frap, donuts and some wine. Learning to be normal and balance working out, eating right and indulges is a great tool.
I have dedicated to getting 2 days a week of sleep and I haven’t done well with that. I have run on empty a few times by doing the most when I get home since I am still doing mandatory overtime and not enough of slowing myself down. This upcoming week I will be able to slow down and take a much-needed vacation with my girls. However I will not run myself to the bone before I get there. I have done a lot ahead of time and look forward to a much semi slower week,
As always I love you all. Get out this weekend and pour a little back into your cup. Do not do more for others and leave yourself depleted!! Have a great weekend and I will blog soon!!
Happy Friday ToiTime readers!! Can you hear the joy in my voice? That is what happens when you have been working 12 hour days all week and you finally get over 9 hours of sleep. I am refreshed and will need it for the Easter weekend. Anyway. There has been a lot going on this week so let’s recap.
- United Airlines out here handing out ass whippings for not giving up seats. The company is in a full-blown mess these days. I expect a large payout and for the company’s bottom line to suffer behind the mess. Little tid bit, do not ever release statements that victim blame.
- Second week of bombs from the United States. Trump’s administration has dropped the largest non nuclear bomb on Afghanistan. The only issues with all of this bombing is that I fear retaliation against the United States. For the sake of the world I pray I am wrong.
- Woman stabbed to death by Palestinian man on a train in Jerusalem.
- 2 Georgia police officers were fired after a video surfaced of them punching a handcuffed man.
I had a great weekend this past weekend. I was able to get some me time which was not planned for a full day but definitely turned into a beautiful full day. I enjoyed the quiet, some adult music and just some down time. I have been working 12 hour days almost everyday for the past 2 weeks so it felt good to recharge. I also enjoyed some family time with own family. We enjoyed some time at Comic Con in Philadelphia where I took some amazing pictures and met some amazing people. This week has been a little crazy with the mandatory overtime. However I was able to get some rest last night and I swear it felt like I slept for an entire week in one night. I expect to have a good weekend this weekend with my kidlets. They love holidays like me so we will have a blast celebrating. I wish you all who celebrate Easter to remember what it’s all about and have a great one!
- Stress awareness-phyiscal stress. We talk about what makes us stress out and what that looks like in our physical body. How we can grab the stress and turn it around in our lives.
- Let’s get physical-not everyone enjoys going to the gym even if its good for us. It’s like veggies but not liking all of the veggies that there are. You can find physical enjoyment in getting up and finding activities that you enjoy.
- Humble my ass, we talk about Lamar Kendrick’s newest hit Humble. It’s a great record except for all of the men who think this is the song of all songs but don’t truly apply to the words they spit. It takes more than a dope song to apply it. We also talk about Tyrese and his ability in his own mind to tell women what they should or shouldn’t be doing while flaunting his 46% Black wife. Love is love it doesn’t matter what color or race she is but he felt the need to tell the world and down women while uplifting us too as if that can be done at the same time.
- TI-Marriage is a distraction: This sounds horrible and it is. It is horrible if he didn’t have this conversation with Tameka “Tiny” his wife prior to the interview and even worst if he didn’t have this conversation with her before he began acting single. Truth in marriage is hard and it’s not always beautiful. However honesty should never take a back seat to feelings because in the end no one wins.
This week I would say pushing myself more and not listening to my body. I have had a series of headaches and stomach ache this week due to my change of schedule. And this is the very thing that stress even if it’s not bad stress can do. I should have slowed it down a bit. Although the overtime was mandatory this week, little things like going to bed when I got home instead of watching an hour of television and being on my phone could have helped. Instead of rushing slowed it down and ate at the times I needed and took my medication at the time I needed to would have helped greatly. These are all things we need to do to make our life even with change run a little more smoothly.
I do hope that you all have a good weekend and can say that even if you have a lot of events that you have to be at or have a lot of things to do that you slow it down and get something out of this weekend for yourself. You have to fill your own cup before you can do anything else for others.
So I am having a pretty good week. My weekend focuses will be a wedding I am attending today, the Phillies game, and some much-needed TLC for me. I love when I have my pamper time. It gets me super focused on me for a little bit and always me to slip back into mom and wife mode a little happier and easier. So this has been a little bit of a week with the news and such so let’s recap it all.
- Syrians were attacked by the chemical Sarin which is a nerve agent. It killed countless innocent victims both young and old. My prayers to those affected and their families in this senseless tragedy.
- U.S. launched a missile strike against the Syria chemical attack. We will have to give time to see the ramifications of what this could potentially lead to.
- Bill O-Reilly has had several endorsers pull away from his brand due to allegations of sexual harassment.
I lost another 3.4 pounds this week bringing my total weight loss to 32 pounds. My clothes are still getting bigger and I am not ready to buy anything new just yet. I am close to my goal and when I get there as promised I will update with a full body picture. I also had a good week closing the relationship I had been struggling to find a common ground with. It was a bit of a tough situation that had too much gray area than most things I deal with. I also was able to get some things organized. I have had a lot of over time this week so I had to really get things in order to make sure nothing went slacking at home.
- What your friends won’t tell you about marriage-this was released today and it deals with 10 things married people struggle with or know that they don’t always talk about. People have this souped up idea about what marriage is and sadly it doesn’t always pan out the way the mind thinks.
- This has got to go-talking about my continued weight loss journey. Are you interested in making some changes? Are you trying to be Summer time or lifetime fun but find it challenging? I talk about the piles of clothes on the bed and floor because the clothes you want to wear and what you actually can fit or don’t want to fit in are too much.
- Losing your mind-its stress awareness month and this week we talked about the mind and what to do if you are having a setback. We talked specifically what to do if once you are attempting to change your way of thinking but are feeling overwhelmed and need help.
- Mental setback-dealing with the little ways we can reset the mind so the thought process doesn’t take over our minds to the point where we struggle to function.
I am dealing with an issue with my daughter. I obviously won’t go into yet but working on responses to your children that are appropriate and mirror what you are used to do vs what should be done for the betterment of your child. I am not a perfect parent actually no one is. The balance of making sure everything is done to uplift a little person is a great task. Often times it’s not as clean-cut as we hope in our minds it would be. So if you are a parent just know there will be some lows but the key is to pick yourself up and try to continue to love.
So enjoy your weekend. I am hearing in Philadelphia there may be a little warm up next week and after this week of rain and cold I sure could use a little sun on my skin. Be safe and continue to check in-blogs drop without warning sometimes.
So here we go in another week and it’s time to wrap up. I am so happy that it is Friday. I cant wait to enjoy my weekend. Last weekend I was able to attend a birthday party, do some much needed me time and really just get ready for this week with a little rest in there too. This week has been pretty good on a personal level so let’s dive in to what happened this week:
- Vice President Mike Pence made the tie breaking vote to allow states to defund Planned Parenthood.
- North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper signs a bill that repeals the state bathroom law.
- Bill O’ Reilly made a comment about Rep. Maxine Waters hair resembling that of James Brown. This fire storm set off the twitter trend #blackwomenatwork to highlight the many times black women are disrespected while doing their jobs.
I am down another 1.6 lbs this week. I am on a crusade for my personal health for any new readers. I am working on a better version of myself. I had to step away from calling my weight “baby weight” when my “baby” is 3 years old. So I am taking the steps to make sure that I change my lifestyle not just lose weight. I want to be able to wear the clothes I want to wear and not just the clothes I have to wear. Another high this week was going to see my doctor looking and being 27 pounds total lighter. She congratulated me and gave me some more tips to an overall healthy life. It felt good to move out of the overweight category.
In case you missed the blogs this week. You need to check out what you missed:
- No account people
- Ask Toi: how to handle when you’re in public and someone makes a comment to one child but not the other
- Self Love/Self Care
The same struggle that I had last weekly I am honestly sad to say I am still struggling with this week. I had success with the one group where as I was able to see them in public and not have an issue and it was a refreshing step back from our normal interaction but the other I can’t say I have moved on from. So this weekend I am really going to allow myself some attitude adjusting to step in. If after I step back and attempt to make it work and it doesn’t than I use the Hollywood phrase that the relationship is “irreconcilably broken.” I have to put some effort into this to get out a reward. So I will keep you updated either way but a result will have to come from this situation.
I wanted to encourage those who are participating in Lent and the spirit of Lent to keep on going. Whatever you gave up will hopefully balance that you can continue on the right path or find balance once it is over. Stay strong. Be vigilant. Find ways to make it easier to get to the intended goal.
Have you gotten to a Friday and thought Lord, you are so good to get me through this week? Have you gotten to a Friday and wondered how you even made it out of a bad week? Yes. I sure you have, we all have. Some weeks fly past so quickly. Then there are those weeks that make you feel like you are off your rocker.
One of the things everyone should do whether good or bad should reflect. What could you do to be better prepared? Life is about learning. So there is something that can be done to ensure a less hectic week. It could be something as small as set your things on the couch ready to grab and go so you don’t leave a work out bag. It could be to install a key hanger which is one of the things I will be doing this weekend because I am like Dory with short-term memory. I switch out of bags. I have my lunch bag, purse, baby bag, and then at times if a child has a meltdown I may have a book bag too. Minds wander. Life hits you hard and if you notice you are having a hard time, step back. This has been my week.
Sometimes we allow things to get out of control. We leave things unsaid until they fester into something worst. Sometimes we think that not saying anything helps and 9 times out of 10 it doesn’t. Think about your interactions this week. Were you taking things out on people due to some stress from home? What about that co-worker who may have deserved your attitude because of what she did last week, but instead of maybe dishing it out then, now you’re in a pissy mood and gave it to her or him this week. What about parents, were you too rough on your son or daughter because you had to tell them something for the millionth and one time and you’re frustrated?
What have you done for someone else this week? I know you’re thinking I had the worst week ever and I don’t have time to think about others. This is where you are wrong. Often times being on your game will eliminate some of your battles. You always have time to give to someone else. I want to give you a little nugget, if you learn to have a servant’s heart sometimes in that you get just as filled and fulfilled. Life is happening to us all. There are others having worst days, and weeks than you. Just this week I have one friend who father has passed and another one whose mother is lying in the hospital and the doctors have thrown up their hands. I have one friend who is in the middle of being displaced with kids and another one who lost their job. I’ve been super guilty of looking at what I got on my plate and failed to be happy that I have a plate to begin with. The super busy schedule you may and all of the disappointments you have someone else is wanting your portion. It doesn’t mean your bad day should just vanish, but if you would learn to say a simple thank you it the small line between gratefulness and bitterness. I have taken stock and this week have implemented new ways to eliminate unnecessary arguments, confusion, etc. It only took a simple thank you. Replace thank you and see if it don’t get better on the inside as it works itself on the outside.
So TGIF for real. It’s okay to acknowledge bad days but just remember that simple activities can turn them around and be grateful that you have that power to do so. Some don’t realize that and will continue to draw every negative energy to them. Don’t let that be you. Turn it around and get the type of peace that won’t falter no matter if everything around you falters.