World Gratitude Day

Everyday is a day to be grateful! Not some days when the chips are up but everyday single day! It takes so much to forget gratefulness but it’s important!

Let me tell you what I am grateful for:

  • Life: a few years ago I should have been gone a few times but I’m here so I’m looking forward to living
  • My kids: nothing is more important than them. They are my world and I treat them as such!
  • My husband: he irks me to no end but he’s mine and I’m grateful for the portion of being married
  • Employment: so many folks want to be working and can’t and to have the ability to gain money is a blessing
  • Blogging: the ability to enjoy what I do and consistently in it
  • Family: I have so many awesome family members who are super supportive and caring
  • Fall coming: I can’t wait for sweaters, sweats
  • Fitness: I have a race per month the ability to run and work out I do not take for granted
  • Friendships: my circle of girlfriends have gotten so much tighter and I love them and grateful for the sister-ship

So what are you grateful for? I could list a thousand things because everyday that you wake up is a blessing. I choose to wake up and find joy into anything. Sometimes it’s hard. There are trials and tests that I don’t pass daily. I can admit that. But I am grateful for the ability that if I do mess up, I can always try again.

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Fall Clothing Reboot

I have been guilty of dressing less than my best.  Either from pure laziness or not being inspired it has happened. As fall comes along layering will be key and for me going into my Pintrest and transitioning my outfits will be my number one go to. You can take a few of your Summer pieces and layer them up to make some cute finds for any occasions.  You can go from hayride to a Fall brunch with just a little effort. I laugh every time I go out with my one girlfriend, I am always on Pintrest finding an outfit for the occasion and because she’s my boo I want to be too cute for our Instagram pics!

I would love to be drippin in finesse when it comes to money but sadly the way my bank account is set up, I’ll have to settle for reshifting my outfits.  What that means is shopping my own closet.  I have so many pieces every season that I simply forget I even have.  For that reason I plan to reshift my closets and break out my boots.  Yes boot season is upon us and I have some that I bought and was excited for that the second I bring them out nobody will say they can remember seeing me in.  Pretty sad but blessed thing to be able to say.

So armed with my Pintrest, I will be reinventing a few pieces.  A few things are a must have such as scarves to dress up or dress down any outfit.  Scarves worn around the neck especially a cute bulky oversized infinity scarf is a Fall staple.  You can really make an outfit pop with a scarf.  I would say if you have a scarf you can take an outfit from blah to wow.  Warm boot socks is a great thing to have because you can pop a color and have that boot sock appear above your low-cut boot or even just have to help with layering.  Remember Fall is all cute and games until the temperature dips and its cold.  So grab a few.  You can go to places such as Five Below, a department store, or even my favorite spot, Target for some awesome finds.  Remember your wardrobe doesn’t have to be expensive to look expensive.

photo of woman gray sweater

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Invest in a few statement pieces and cute sweaters.  This will be a game changer.  Fall is all about sweaters or cute hoodies.  A few weeks ago it rained so hard that I had to go and get my Penn State hoodie that I bought in the Summer.  I wasn’t mad.  I paired that up with a cute rain boot and some well fitted jeans and cute headband and left the house warm and cute without a lot of effort.  I also would suggest 2nd hand stores.  These are your Thrift stores.  When I was a kid I used to hate it.  My parents were so into Thrift stores they had frequent shopper cards.  I never understood how the clothes were cheap but we needed a frequent shopper card.  I would always find cute pieces but I was so embarrassed.  Now I get it.  Shout out to them for showing me the way.  I know for a fact that a lot of fashions that are out now have been recycled and what better place to look cute and save money than a Thrift shop?  I’ll wait……

Take the time to put a little extra push in your wardrobe.  You do not want to be out this Fall looking less than your best.  I always would get frustrated askign myself in old pictures how I could have come out of the house and although I am no fashion expert I know a few tricks of the trade by looking up the look I am going for and if you too want to look your best, I would suggest you do the same!

Monday Motivation: Healing with no Cheerleaders

Remember that we are all going through something. While you’re healing others around you don’t always recover as fast as you. While it would be great that as you continue to crush the very things that used to hold you captive, others around you may not fully be on board but don’t let it stop you!

We love strength in numbers! However when dealing with personal struggles those numbers may not always be the way you want them. You might find that you’re cheering squad may decrease. You got to keep going. Don’t wait until a boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or friend believes in your change the same way you are attempting to live! Remember they have seen you at your worse. You’re one day, of change can be a catalyst for permanent change. The folks around you only see you as what they are used to you being. It will suck! You will get mad and then play the blame game about the level of support you believe you should have. However your change was for you and will benefit you the most. No one is going to be as happy for you like you. This doesn’t mean those around you can’t be happy for you! It’s only means that if you’re the type that has to have your squad to propel you, this will be an issue for you and could hinder your progress if you let it.

Press when you have no one like you would when you have an army behind you. Choose yourself instead of being held down by the lack of people in your corner. Sometimes when the dust clears, the folks that were an hinderance won’t be there. The pain of your squad changing will hurt like no other. But you can get through it. Your squad can be replaced, but staying the same as you were shouldn’t be on hold until that takes place. Keep pushing! Keep striving! Keep the same energy even with tears in your eyes. Choose you!!

National Blame Someone and National Positive Thinking

How do these two days go together?  They don’t but they do. Positive thinking can change how you see what others have done and although its easier to blame someone sometimes you have to take a look in the mirror at yourself.  We are sometimes our biggest enemy.  The way we talk to ourselves, handle ourselves, and do for ourselves can come from how we think.

Today I am encouraging every reader to take some stock.  I have said so many times in many blogs and it is true that sometimes my ability to blame others stopped me from being able to call a spade a spade in my own life.  I was caught up more in who the message was from instead of the message itself.  However I feel like my life took a turn for the better when I took the time to address myself.  How I was thinking wasn’t healthy for me and those around me.

black and white person woman old

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Positive thinking is hard for some who only have a negative mindset.  We all know them.  You can say the sun is bright and they will say it’s too hot.  You can say I can’t wait to hang out with friends and they say ugh I don’t even have any.  This is draining depending on what stage of life you are on.  If you find that you constantly are high fiving and in agreement with a negative Nancy in your life, its only because you are just as negative in your own life.

toddler with red adidas sweat shirt

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I find when I forget to be grateful about my life its easy to dip into negativity.  All of sudden I get less patient, my temper is flared, and then my speech changes.  I start doubting myself and simple tasks are hard.  Negativity has a way at eating at productivity.  You cant attack your goals with a negative mindset and although you want to blame circumstances and situations the person that is at fault is you.

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So lets take charge of ourselves and not point the finger out but point the finger in and change our mindset!

Ask Toi: What are my rights with my boyfriend while he’s in the hospital?!

To be honest girlfriends don’t have rights! I know that sounds harsh but….. it’s the truth!

Even if you two live in the same house won’t matter in you making decisions because end of day, you’re not his wife. What I can say is going forward if he feels that he wants you to have more of a say he should have a power of attorney and health directives done and notarized that states you are the one to be in charge. You can’t just simply be in love and not have proper paperwork in place

Same as if you’re living together, check laws of your states. If you’re name isn’t on the lease you may find yourself in a sticky situation should he change his mind. Legal documentation should be the name of the game when you’re single or even engaged and feel as if you want to have marital responsibility without the actual marriage. Being engaged is not recognized as marriage regardless of how you feel. Feelings and legality do not always go hand in hand! People don’t think about that when you’re so in love and not thinking about protecting yourself. Also be sure your boyfriend even wants you to have that much say should he not be able to speak for himself. Your relationship might not have gotten to that level as you think.

Being a girlfriend or life partner is nice but if this is the notion you and your man choose be sure to get paperwork so that it can’t be disputed or else his actual next of kin will be the one making those decisions even if it’s not the decisions that the one incapable to make those decisions want! Your boyfriend needs to be clear that as an adult he does what he wants done for his own life and having the proper paperwork will help! Protection is the name of the game and I hope your boyfriend makes a speedy recovery!

Fight Procrastination Day

I’m really glad that there are days like this. They help us to get our minds together and what a day than fight procrastination day. We all at some point have procrastinated about something. From weight loss to grocery shopping to laundry, procrastination takes many forms.

Fighting procrastination means making an attempt to do the things that we all need to do but have been putting off. What do you need to stop putting off? Have you completed your 2018 resolutions if you made it? This is something you need to get back on track. All of the promises made to yourself need you to bring life into them. It’s easy to let a few goals slide. However depending on the level of procrastination, the guilt that comes from it can be unbearable.

Waiting and putting off grocery shopping until you have literally no food may not stop the world but depriving yourself for example your education, and making excuses year after year could affect your quality of life. Not washing your hair a few extra days may not end world hunger, but putting off going to the doctors could put your life as risk. Counting up the cost of what you choose to ignore is a part of prioritizing. Some of the little things we ignore can add up.

Take some time to make new list and instead of ignoring, avoiding, or crossing off altogether prioritize what matters to you in the long run. Sometimes procrastination comes from putting yourself last. You are important and nothing you do for others will matter if you can’t find a way of pouring into yourself first! Your goals and dreams need you and you need to fight procrastination and make it happen!

Here is a small helpful listing of what you can do to help fight procrastination:

  • Make smaller goals from large goals
  • Reward yourself
  • Make realistic goals
  • Eliminate people or things around you that are triggers of distraction
  • Set time restraints around your goals
  • Write your goals down

I hope that today and everyday you take the time to make one step towards each goal you set. We all can get caught up in life . What we do once we get caught off guard, matters. Fight procrastination and hit it hard!!

Better Breakfast Month

There are so many holidays in the month of September. I do think it’s a good idea that they whomever makes these days made better breakfast to be in September. It’s a good idea because it correlates to kids going back to school!

food gourmet on top of brown table

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We no that in the United States unfortunately some kids struggle with meals. This really ought not be but it is a reality for some. Breakfast is super important. As an adult it’s hard for me to concentrate when I’m hangry. (Angry + hungry) how much more for our children? I know some folks really can’t eat breakfast. I am not one of those people. I would encourage the non breakfast eaters to at least eat fruit.

Eating better starts with choices. Having a variety of choices comes down to being prepared. Instead of sugary foods invest in whole grain options. I would suggest prepping it ahead of time. Time is the biggest issue with breakfast.  Not having enough because the stress in the morning and trying to be on time sometimes clashes. I get that!It’s easier to grab on the go.  The same breakfast sandwiches you can purchase at a fast food place can be made at home. Invest in fruit. Invest in cereals with less sugar and be creative. You can have fresh fruit in your oatmeal or cereal as an alternative.Make the time to prepare things at night meaning packing bags can help cut down on time.  If you have lunch and breakfast prepared you can be more in charge with what you place in your body.  Often times we shove food into our body and grab food from vending machines because of not being prepared.  If you have a family if you mirror the change you want to see it makes it easier for others around you to align.  Not all food that is grab worthy is bad.  You can grab yogurt and eat that with some granola and fruit and have that be better than a sugary donut a diet soda.

Even if you say come on “I can’t do that,” commit to a few days a week of making healthier choices. Once you see how much better you feel it may be an easier to make that change stick!  The benefits of eating a better breakfast:

  • Better Concentration
  • Aids in weight los
  • Helps in portion control for the day
  • Better productive day

Can you step your game durng breakfast?  Give it a try!