Today is blue Monday. It represents the fact that today is the MOST depressing day of the year. Now if you grew up in the church like I did you aren’t allowed or shouldn’t speak “things into existence.” To speak about the most depressing day of the year means that you are speaking or willing it to be so. That is not the case. We are going to acknowledge it because it is a real issue that many can’t simply pray away. The factors that went into the study of Blue Monday deals with financial, motivation, and weather. Winter is and will always be associated with seasonal depression. The cold and gloom of the season attributes to it. So no we aren’t willing something that many face. We are actively speaking on it.
Disappointment of it all
The disappointment of having those around you not think enough of depression to be a valuable discussion can hurt. You want the people close to you to see YOU. It’s hurtful when they don’t. Why are they saying things like, “you’re trippin!” “Get over it!” Sometimes because to acknowledge your issues is to acknowledge their own. However you are going to have to get to a point where you take your own personal journey of depression into your own hands. Can you survive another person’s inability to see your depression and also find ways to combat it? Absolutely you can without the love and support of those you love. It’s hard. I have been in that place. But I do know that me having more days of less depressive moods or having the necessary tools to fight when a depressive mood comes is more important than faking it for a crowd.
Also let’s talk about when people tell you or you feel like you are disappointing this image they have of you. This representative that we use on a daily can be great. For instance I am a blogger who seems to be in the in crowd in the city. And nothing about that is false except where I post pretty pictures I equally talk about the fact of when I am having issues behind the lens. Some of your favorites wouldn’t because they are afraid of what others would think. I think for me I have had the closest folks near me betray me in ways I wouldn’t have thought that what strangers think doesn’t seem to matter. End of the day I share because as human we share like experiences. There is a woman like myself telling herself that because she deals with depression she’s not good enough to be loved. That is a lie by the way. You are loved and loveable. You are strong even in the lowest of an episodic depressive mood. We are complex and to smile through pain without checking into yourself to work through it will set you up in the long run. We aren’t poster board. Even if we were I want someone to see relatability in me not because I am pushing a product or experience. I want them to lay down on their pillows with more days of peace than anguish because this lie of what we put out doesn’t match our soul’s desire and issues that have to be worked out daily.
Depression isn’t weakness
I will forever say this. I say this not just because I too fight with it, but because it’s true forever. It takes a lot of guts to stand in a place and say I need help. It takes a lot of loving yourself or wanting more for yourself to take the initial step of calling on professionals to help. You have to do what you have to do. Being better and going through personal healing will depend on your ability to stand up for yourself and make life better. There is no magic fix with depression. I know that a lot television and movies show people laying on couches of therapist and coming out happier than when they went. That is a lie if there ever was. Sometimes it’s so draining I have had to go to sleep. I have been angry or sad after leaving. It’s hard to pour your soul and think that this instant happiness and smiles will appear. You are setting yourself up for failure. One time I left therapy and sat in the car of the parking lot for an hour just staring into space trying to take in what happened in the actual session.
So on today’s Monday Motivation let’s talk about depression. Let’s talk about it looking really dressed up and happy on the outside but with sadness on the inside. Let’s talk about the loneliness that it feels as if you are the ONLY one going through it. Let’s also talk candidly that like you and like me we are all connected. We don’t have to not talk in order to deflect. It’s more support out here than you think. How about the fact that we can be ourselves and take breaks when we need them. We are complex and beautiful humans.
There are options
Talk to someone if you need it! I have several that I reach out more in the winter months than any other time. It doesn’t take a big crowd just a few or even one person you love. Write it out so that if you make the decision to see a therapist you know where to start. I have taken my journal to show how I think when I and deep into a depressive mood. Get encouraged. Know that you aren’t alone. Even if you need medication to help you aren’t a failure. I have said many times about needing medication when I was in the middle of postpartum and how those around me either told others I wouldn’t have even told or they acted as if I was on “white people” stuff because I wanted to be better. Getting help in the Black community is like playing Russian roulette. Change the conversation. Getting help is about self-preservation only. In order for me to be truly happy I have to be willing to get the help that I need.
Reshuffle your goals today! What are the most important things to you. One step even if it’s not giving you a result is still a step in the right direction. Be realistic; Rome wasn’t built in a day! Be kind to yourself! Give yourself the grace you extend to others!
I stand with those who are going through this. Those who aren’t be someone’s light today and every day. Instead of speaking out on things you don’t know, get educated. You can be someone’s stumbling block because you speak from a place of ignorance or arrogance. Choose to be someone that someone else can confide in instead of someone where they have to walk light around.