How to Survive Thanksgiving with Annoying Family Members

You can’t choose your family.  At least that’s what they tell me.  So what happens when you don’t feel like hearing Aunt Sally that don’t ever have her own crap together come questioning you on your life at the Thanksgiving dinner get together?  Simply know what you want to respond to.  Some things don’t always need a response.  However if you are quick on your feet you can send a clear message that gets the job done and keep your sanity.

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  1. Know your family: you know who in your family is messy.  Keep the conversations to a minimal.  No need to defend yourself against a person who likes to keep the foolery going because they think they can.  It will only annoy you.  Learn to pick and choose your battles wisely.
  2. Stay calm-others will attempt all they can to be “themselves” and inherently working on your nerves.  Don’t let them see you sweat.
  3. Bring a game or activity.  Nothing says distraction like a game and thus Aunt Sally can worry as to why her husband is sitting with cousin Shana and not with her and everyone is whispering about her.
  4. If you know alcohol isn’t a good idea for some then attempt to limit the amount that is brought into the picture.  Some folks will leave as soon as the liquor is gone anyway.  That is called doing yourself a favor.
  5. Ignore all that you can and learn to walk away.  Unless they are at your home for the holiday dinner, you can get up and leave.  You don’t have a set time to be around your family.  Leave and come back or just leave altogether.
  6. Phone.  I know we frown upon family having to be so close to their phones because it takes away from true interaction,  but the reality is that some phones are saving the lives of raggedy family members all around the world.
  7. Make sure some topics of your personal life are off limit.  One Thanksgiving I had a family member ask me if I was still dating an ex.  That’s normal banter.  However when I gave him/her the response they attempted to ask me a few more times.  I looked at him/her and asked them to leave the situation alone and worry about him/herself and didn’t have to hear from that family member on that topic again.

The bottom line even in the best of families folks are folks.  You aren’t going to be able to get people to act like they have sense.  Common sense isn’t common.  Some folks think that their titles means that they have exclusive rights to your life and your life choices. That’s simply not true.  You can let in or keep whomever you want at bay.  Keep in mind you came to enjoy your family, eat a great meal. and depart.  This isn’t World War II so if you drop your anxiety a little before you go in often times you can have a level head and upper hand.  One thing at the end of the day remember that you’re an adult.  Adults can speak to one another and move along.  I know in most families we want to look at folks like they are still 12 but as long as none of your family members are paying your rent then you don’t have to answer to no one.  Keep it pushing and enjoy the Turkey and egg nog without going to blows…

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If all else fails then at least make sure you don’t start a fight and go home and have a glass to celebrate that you didn’t have to smack anyone.  For the families who love each other and its all good than I say, enjoy.  However since we live in a messed up world, this advice will be spot on.  Families fight and fuss but at the end of the day most are willing to be there for one another when it counts. Have a great Thanksgiving and enjoy.

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The Thanksgiving Rush

So I am usually one for celebrating the holidays.  However my days have been super long and I just realized that Thanksgiving is the next week.  We have so much to do with closing out some of the items from my mother in law’s passing that I haven’t really tapped in. Normally his mother would cook until she got to the point where she couldn’t and my husband’s uncle would do all the cooking.  I haven’t heard word on whether or not he will be resuming things so my husband and I will just cook something at home and enjoy our little family. Now if the uncle decides at the last minute to cook, I will still prepare a meal at home because that’s how I grew up.  My mother didn’t care whose house we went to she made her own dinner that way we would always have something to enjoy for later. Remember you can’t go to folks house trying to take leftovers for the week and when you barely lucky to get a plate.

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So either way I find myself focusing on the big day.  I know we are to be thankful for everything all the time and trust me I am but the anxiety of trying to pull a menu together is a bit much right now but I know I will do just fine.  So with that being said I had to dust off a few of my recipes and start my master Thanksgiving list.  You know that no matter what happens somebody will be hitting that grocery store the day before.  I am trying to be one less of those folks.  I will be going this week before the weekend.  I have a lot of events this upcoming weekend on top of some extra cleaning in my own home that I need to work on as well.

So how will I get through? I will try to pre-prep as much of the items I can.  This weekend I will be getting my cookie dough all together.  Mind you I usually do this in the beginning of November but I didn’t have enough time.  Preparing the food that I can earlier such as cutting up ingredients, etc will save me time and stress.  I will start making things on Wednesday.  I am off super early so without the little people in the way I can get one or more items in the oven.  Another way is to have some fun.  My kids love helping me and I will be letting them in the kitchen.  Music will be there as well to get me through.  Not to mention with Thanksgiving means I can start decorating for Christmas and I really do look forward to it.  A little adult juice will be had as well.  So a stop to the state store to get me some wine is in order.  The holidays as stressful as they are at times depending on the situation.  There are some who have no one to spend it with.  A lot of people miss significant members of their family. This year it will be my mother in law and my great-grandmother.  This is the time to call and check up on everyone.  This can be such a low time for some of our neighbors or even the elderly.  If you have a sick member in your community if you don’t want to invite them over pack them up some good treats that they can enjoy.

Call a friend whom you haven’t spoken to in a while.  I know we are an Instagram, text, snap world but people’s voices are just as much important as being on social media.  Call a loved on whom you may have an issue with and work it out.  Let me just say for the disclaimer, since I have so many family and friends that read this I have nothing but peace for all.  I love the holidays and I think everyone should be together but I still also believe that you don’t have to force your feet under other’s table to make a point.  Love is love and love don’t always mean forcing relationships to fit where they don’t fit.  You can however call and be cordial to your family members.

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Also to note, the holidays also start a lot of drama. So for the men and women that are juggling more than one man or woman and neither man or woman knows that they are being juggled, good luck.  You know how this works, whomever you spend your holidays with will feel like the main chick or boo.  You can’t be at the same place at the same time. For my single readers, enjoy your holiday.  I get it you don’t want to be alone but its better to be alone than sitting with the one that is eyeing your cousin and your mom.  I get it. Being single feels like it sucks but everybody in matching outfits and broken smiles ain’t happy.  Also back to families not all families are built like the Cosby’s.  So often times old things come out or things that shouldn’t have come out too.  Don’t mix so much alcohol at these events when you know Aunt Sue going to show her ass.  I mean that literally too.

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Take your time.  Try not to have so much hypness over the holidays.  Be gentle with others and remember the most important part, being thankful for the little or the much you were blessed with .

Work Outs in the Fall. Getting my McFluffy Tight….

There is something amazing that happens in the Fall, that’s good crisp air.  Although it doesn’t work in favor of my kids with their asthma it does wonders for me.  That morning air is a good time to get out of bed and get a good work out in.

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Now my job is doing a step challenge and I am on a team of 3 other individuals.  We have increased our walking.  We don’t take elevators and we take walk breaks.  I also have been hitting the gym strong almost daily.  My rest day is Friday.  I am more motivated to make moves than ever before and instead of saying I want to do, I am simply doing.  I am making better food choices.  I sort of have to so I can indulge every now and again in some of Fall’s comfort food.

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I would say because a lot of people are more focused in this month with back to school and other projects, it would be a good time to form a group.  You need a group or even just a partner to hold you accountable for your workouts.  It always helps to have someone else along the journey with you.  If you can’t that’s understandable but start making small changes. Trust me I became more aware of what I was eating when I wrote it down.  I am not on a diet.  I have never dieted a day in my life.  I don’t knock others for it but it’s just not my thing.  I am making better snack choices, increase water, etc.  I just can’t do the whole count calorie thing.  I will look at one snack and compare for my consumption but often times I elect for some form of veggie or fruit substitution.

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Keep in mind with the Fall that means again that you have approximately 3 months to complete those goals of fitness that you made almost 9 months ago.  The year is almost done.  You have to get it together and especially now because as more and more times past, we are getting ready to go into Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and then wham right into the New Year.  I don’t know about you but that’s candy, potato salad, ham, turkey and a lot of cakes that are about to be made and ate.  With that in mind I have to literally step my game up.  I do not want to be extra fluffy come holiday picture time.  I refuse to be.  Now I may still have a few places that still won’t be in formation but I definitely will be a sleeker version than I was last year during the holidays.  So no mcfluffy this year, I got to be mchealthy.

So step it up and get on team healthy!!

Girlfriend Only Parties

Good morning and hope you are having a great day. If you live in the northeast especially around New York and upwards be careful as it looks to be a storm brewing.

Today’s trend for the holidays are girlfriend only holiday parties.  In  the days when women seem to claw at each other I have to say I def give my  seal of approval.

If you read my blogs I definitely want you to take a sense of women empowerment as well as a no-nonsense guide to life.  However a part of being women is to have nurturing friendships that feed your soul.

I’m not talking about freenmies but true to life girlfriends who sit with you in hard times, feed you if you hungry, cut tires for and with you (figuratively maybe) and are just there for every one of life’s challenges.

Girlfriend parties are a place where you invite those supportive women together and have good food and fellowship and make it a girls event only.

During the holidays there will be plenty of couple parties and I love the idea of a ladies only event where marital status and kids don’t matter.  A place to laugh and share that secret language that only you and your girlfriends understand.  It could also be a place where if you and your girlfriends reconnect.

These parties can be as big and as small as you would like.  Maybe make it a sleepover where you don’t even have to spend the night but just some cute pj’s, lingerie, and all of the naughty food you will complain about eating the next day.

Another idea is to have a wine and dine where you get and everyone brings their best comfort food and a bottle of wine and sit at a friend’s home and kick back and talk.  Another idea is to maybe incorporate beauty and fashion and sip and chat.  There are many people who are stylists or makeup artist that have skills and do home drop-ins that could be invited and paid to supply an evening of flare and fun.

If you are like me and your girlfriends are out-of-town then you can plan ahead and maybe find a place that’s mutual for gathering and with some tools like Groupon etc you could make it a weekend or a wonderful overnight trip to make memories and connect.

Reconnect and build lasting relationships.  If you say we’ll I don’t have any friends well….then it’s time to make yourself friendly and build and then you too can experience the joys of real sisterhoods.  Happy holidays and ladies enjoy each other.
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