Sunday Message: Moving Slowly

There are many weekends when I move like super fast.  I am on point and getting things done seem like a breeze. Then there are those times when I feel out of place, out of water, and quite frankly there are times when things don’t get done, and I feel overwhelmed.  You have to understand that when you have things moving slowly around you that its not going to take over you.  You will eventually get your to do list done.  You may need to rest or you may need this slow time as preparation for something up ahead but you will be fine.

You don’t have to do it all right now.  Some things can wait.  That is a lesson in itself. Sometimes its one of the hardest to learn and accept. Sometimes you think you have it down but then life throws you a curve ball. Trust the process that it will work out especially if you are constantly doing what you can do to continuously and with effort.


Weekly Recap: Friday March 16, 2018

So happy Friday and Pre. St. Patrick’s like a St. Patrick’s Day eve to you all.  I hope that you are doing well and have a relaxing weekend ahead of you.  Let’s talk about what has been going on.

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Thank you a thousand times over for every woman who has volunteered to be interviewed for Women History Month.  If you have missed a few, try your best to read them.  These women range from all over the spectrum in life and career.  So be sure to check it out.  We have a few more yet to do so don’t think we are done celebrating because we are not.

Spring is near!

Spring is around the corner and I literally can’t wait. I am still waiting for the weather to align but that will come in time.  I hope you are getting Spring ready.  Here are a few quick tips on activities you can do to signal a new season:

Spring cleaning-it is a thing.  This is when you wash them window seals, clean curtains, clean ovens, etc.  Just do a detailed cleaning of your home and your closet. Yes your closet.  Its time to take the blacks and greys out of your wardrobe and open your life to some color. Trust me it does wonder especially if you have been dealing with the Winter blues.  Maybe even switch up your make up and nail colors too!

Also those clothes you find you can’t wear, donate them! If you’re going to keep one or two outfits just in case you get to that smaller size fine but don’t keep them all! Donate!

Get scheduled: I can’t say this enough, get your appointments on the calendar and get out and get your health together.  You should be making appointments to have your whole body checked. Have you noticed your meds aren’t right? Get them evaluated as well. Encourage others around you to do the same.

Get moving-for all of those who couldn’t get in the gym during the Winter, Spring brings the opportunity to take it outside. Get you some old fashion jump rope etc and get active.  Your body and mind will thank you. Also get outside even if you sit outside for 10-15 minutes it does wonders for your mental state!

Blog love

So this week a blog that I’ve done for Greenide has been posted. I’m super proud of this article and if you have missed it, read it here Greenide I talk about some weight loss tips that encourages you to keep moving towards your goals!

Personal Goals

I am still training for the Broad Street Run and getting stronger by the day! This is a 10 mile run and a far cry from the 5k I did last year! My goal is not to be the last one and to complete it! Also I have a solo trip coming up next month! I will blog it upon my return and give you the black out dates for when I will be on a little few days break!

Enjoy your weekend! Find something you enjoy! It doesn’t have to be super big! Fill your cup!

Women’s History Month; Cheryl A., an Update

Good day to all.  We have none other than Cheryl A. who is coming back to us with an update.  If you remember we interviewed her on March 3, 2016.  At the time a lot of her goals had not come into fruition.  Let’s see what Cheryl has been up to from 2 years ago.

I wanted to know what she would tell her younger self if she could go back in time:

GO FOR IT..your dreams are never too small.  Take the chance, explore the world, study abroad, go to school in another state or another country.  Be confident, walk with your head high, there is only one you and you are unique. You are not everyone’s cup of tea and that is ok.  Enjoy the people who love you for you.  Failure is a part of life but learn the lesson.   Learn yourself, love yourself, become a whole person.

A recurring theme with all of these blogs are little nuggets on areas such as life, love, and career. These areas are some of the most thought about moments of our lives.  I wanted to know what Cheryl’s take on each:

Life-I could go on and on about this topic! Life has thrown me so many curveballs from death, health issues, relationship drama (friends, family, work, etc..).  Life has taught me to own my stuff.  If you are wrong admit it and resolve it if possible.  However, life has taught me that no matter how much you own your stuff there will always be the naysayers.  Some people just don’t like me and I’ve learned to finally accept that. Gone are the days where I wanted people’s acceptance.  I have learned to live my best life and not live beneath my capabilities to make others comfortable.  I’ve learned to accept the apologies I will never receive.  I’ve learned that verbal abuse and toxic people are real and I will not allow that in my life.  I’ve learned that I do not have to prove my forgiveness.  I’ve learned that no matter what positive changes you make in your life, someone will always hold you to the “I remember when” of your past.  I’ve learned to that people will show you and in my case tell you how they feel about you, through that I’ve learned to be okay with it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, so I have accepted what I’ve been shown and told and have moved one.  So of course, those relationships ended and some will never start.  I refuse to be in one-sided relationships, so if I’m the one doing all the calling, reaching out, scheduling, etc..that will no longer work for me.  The end of 2017 resonated some things in me and I knew that 2018 had to be different for me. I’m talking different in the way I navigate life and situations.  My circle has always been small, but I am no longer giving front seats to my life nor allowing situations to move me.  I’ve learned to be confident not cocky, humble but not a pushover.  I’ve learned to take my power back. 

So I am sure there were a few things you could have gotten from those words. Think about not giving front seats to those who don’t deserve it.  You go out of your way to be there for others or people have an expectancy that they don’t do in return.  You have to be careful of the energy you give.  You can not operate from an empty cup.  Keep your cup full!

Love-This year will be 10 years of marriage! It’s amazing to even last this long.  My marriage has had its share of troubles over the years and moving 1200 miles within 30 days didn’t make it any easier.  However, I wouldn’t change anything.  Marriage has taught me unconditional love, friendship and compromise.  Yes, marriage takes work but it’s only hard if you make it hard.  I can admit that at times I made things unnecessarily difficult.  See the problem was, I wasn’t my own complete person. I fell into the trap of he has to be this and that to me when reality is I’m responsible for me and my own happiness.  I had the degrees, job, friends, etc…but there was still a void, a void that my husband could not fill nor was it his responsibility to fill.  I had to get real with myself and get to my real issues and deal with them.  The key for me was to take responsibility for myself and God will work everything else out.  Marriage is a commitment, so if you are committed you will face the challenges and do the work to keep that commitment.  Curveballs will be thrown in the form of family, finances, friendships, etc..but you need to pick your battles wisely.  Every battle isn’t worth the fight and some battles are won with silence.  Be mindful of who or what you allow in, everyone or everything doesn’t get an automatic pass because of who are what they are in your life.   There are boundaries that should never be crossed and ultimatums should never be given.

Career-All you need is ONE yes.  It doesn’t matter how many times you hear no, keep on pressing.  If it’s a no, that door is not for you so stop knocking on it.  My journey to a new career took 6 years.  I had faith and I worked my faith, completed many applications, traveled to various cities and states for interviews, did video interviews, essays, tests, etc…and I heard no for 6 years.  Disappointed and frustrated but I pressed on (thanks to the people who supported me and didn’t give up on me when I wanted to give up).  Those 6 years was a process I had to go through, lessons I had to learn.  Relationships that were restored and some that needed to be ended.  I remember my former Pastor, Alex Rivera saying “A blessing too early is a burden.”  I didn’t get it then, but I get it now.  My blessing in my new career was already there and set up by God BUT 6 years ago, I wasn’t mentally, emotionally or spiritually prepared. Being unprepared would have resulted in my blessing being a burden.  So I’m grateful for the journey and the lessons I learned along the way.  I won’t lie and say it’s been smooth sailing, but I will say that when everything is done in order and you embrace the journey and the lessons, it was worth the wait.

She has waited 6 years to step into her dream job.  What will your future look like?

I would like to say retired, but I have 19 years until that happens. I hoping that at least a full girls/my bestie trip will finally happen (YES that was shade)! Seriously, I do plan to work hard to see where this career is going take me. I know I am now in a position with many opportunities and I plan to take advantage of that.  I plan to build both my professional and personal networks. 

As I stated, I was on a new career path that started back in 2011 and didn’t come to fruition until 2017.  You may think the accomplishment is working as a Lancaster County JOP for 12.5 years and now working as a USPO in Miami, Florida is the accomplishment.  In a way it is, but the biggest accomplishment is, that I didn’t give up.  Many times I wanted to throw in the towel and just settle for what was and has been for 12 years.  Comfortability and complacency is easy.  Taking a risk like moving from everything you have always known to a place where you know nothing or no one but your husband.  Not being able to fully embrace the greatness in the career chance because you are questioning is this the right decision? What if it doesn’t work? What if I don’t like it? How do I start over?   Self doubt, fear, worry, etc..starts to creep in…BUT again, I didn’t give up, I just kept pressing through.  So 9 months later, here I am, still pressing through and it has gotten easier with time.

Hubby and I have some business ventures in mind, I won’t go into detail, but they are there and we are committed to seeing them through.  As some know, I am also an Adjunct Professor, I want to get back to as well.  A short term goal I have is to go parasailing and hubby and I are going to concur that on our anniversary trip.

What are your feelings on the #metoo movement?

As a Criminal Justice Professional for almost 14 years, I have been able to provide a non-judgement zone.  I continue to be a listening ear, a liaison and a person of support.

Self love is always my goal for my readers.  How do you practice self love?

Self-love for me is the basics, regular hair appointments, trips to the nail salon, reading to expand my mind and overall enjoying the life that I have been given.  As previously stated, I also avoid drama and toxic people.  It doesn’t matter who you are, if my experience with you has been drama or toxic, you will not be a part of my life. I can be respectful and cordial, but that’s all I have to offer you.  I’ve learned to be okay with whatever is, meaning, if I don’t hear from that person, if I don’t get included, if people talk about me, if people still want to  live in the “I remember when” of my life, I’ve learned to accept it.  Self Love is knowing that I am no longer that person and I love my self enough to know that being tied to the past is contrary to where I am going.  Self Love is embracing those that have shown that despite whatever has transpired they will always be there to support me, lift me up and celebrate me.

Thank you Cheryl for using your voice.  I hope that you are enjoying your new career and I wish you much success!!!


Sunday Message: Get you a Life

Good Sunday morning! Today I am having a pretty calm day. I spent most of my Saturday having my own personal day of sorts. It was great; music, fun, movies, lunches family, friends, and a few drinks! But as I sit today keeping my son from spreading germs on everyone I am reminded of a few things.


I absolutely love Snapchat! It’s super fun and can give you a glimpse into other people’s lives. It’s a way to be light, have fun with filters and really let your personality shine. A few things to remember as you live is that life is way beyond filters. Do not all yourself to look at someone else’s life and envy a life you think they have. There are times when filters can be cool but deceiving. How many smiles are hidden by pain? Live a full life. If you see something someone has and you truly desire it i.e something material then find a way to incorporate it! You do realize there’s always ways to get the same thing on a budget?! But get it if you like it not to feel as if once you obtain it you will be better because you won’t! Material gain is only a small portion of life. Life is about how you treat others, what you give to those around you and how you treat yourself since how you treat you will help or hinder the relationships around you!


This is through Instagram and another way to be able to get a glimpse into another person’s life! They are fun but again same principle. Don’t spend so much time worrying about this instalife but not about the life you should be creating in real life.

Life has so many opportunities to create smoke screens. They are fun but remember to find ways to enjoy life in real life time. Don’t be so serious all the time that you make yourself miserable. If you woke up and really felt like your life was missing something but didn’t look at ways to create the life you want you are wasting precious time!

Take the steps to have a real life. To find ways that you can genuinely smile. Ways that you can live in your true purpose and gift. Ways that serves others and make sure you fill your own cups too. Life was meant to be lived not just on social media day dreaming about what others have.

We are about to come upon a new season. What have you done well in the Winter? What could you change? What are your goals? What are you doing daily to reach them? When was the last time you did something you enjoyed? When was the last time you spent time by yourself? What about with real friends? Want flowers but you are waiting around for someone else to buy them, go get them for yourself! Decorate your home the way you want! Clean and declutter your life! These are things that as you complete them your real life goes up!

Live your real life to the best of your ability!! Smile! Don’t give your joy away!

Another Health is Wealth Moment by S. L. Efua Joe

As we prepare for another storm let’s consider a few things. One power has been knocked out for a lot of those in the north as the storms have hit. With that in mind a lot of frozen food have been wasted in the process.

Today is national frozen food day! Let’s take another perspective in how our health and frozen food and how it came into existence over the years:

Stop Being Afraid of No

In life the word no is probably one of the easiest to say yet the hardest to hear, just ask a toddler. No feels so definitive. It sounds so final but there is a lot of character, life, and perseverance that grows from no.

I’ll be the first to admit that no can be intimidating. It hurts. It’s disappointing and it can be blinding at times. However if I’m honest I’ve heard no so many times I know I can’t count them all. Every time has had different responses. If I was strong mentally and emotionally no didn’t even bother me. If I was anticipating a difference response it at times knocked the wind out of me. No works that way. It builds character. Makes you work hard and sometimes line you up. It makes you re-think and come with a new plan!

This is why I definitely believe in giving kids a no answer sometimes. Just because you can do something doesn’t always mean you should. Brats are birthed at the inability to hear no, adjust and keep moving. There are quite a few adult brats in this world.

Today understand that no doesn’t kill you. It doesn’t stop you unless you allow it. It doesn’t make you less of a person from hearing it either. No isn’t a total denial. There were times I’ve told myself no I wouldn’t make it through something and here I am standing stronger even with battle wounds. I’ve told myself no you can’t be a better person and here I stand working daily to make it through. I’ve been told no to jobs, relationships, and dreams. I’m still pursuing my goals. I’ve had to stop and wipe tears from my eyes but I kept going and I am still going forward. No doesn’t stop you unless you allow it.

Can you finish college? Yes. It may take you a few years but you can still do it. Can you get that dream job? Yes you can. Think about the Black Panther movie, tribe elder Dorothy Steel is 92 years young. She started acting at age 88. Stop and think about that. I don’t know her full story but to start at that age bracket and hit that goal is nothing short of amazing. So what if your goal wasn’t realized until later down the road?! I know of a friend who applied to the same field for 6 years and finally got it right at the deadline to apply. 6 years of frustration, pain, time and money spent and finally it happened.

What about the couple trying to have a child and finally after years it happens? What about the couple who has tried and it doesn’t happen for them?! They still have to keep moving in love regardless of this dream deferred. No is powerful! But no isn’t a joy-kill unless you give it power!

Don’t sit on a dream because of your initial fear of hearing the words, no. Know that it will sting but if something is worth it, you can push through and make it happen. When I first moved to Philadelphia I was settling into being a stay at home mom. I had a toddler and a baby in my belly. Then when I was ready to get back into the working field I found it hard! I wasn’t accustomed to hearing no. I was the type that could walk into an interview and get hired on the spot. But then with years out of the work world, priority changes, I heard no way more times then I thought I should. It hurt like hell. I could get all the way to a second interview and think I’ve nailed it only for another candidate to get it. Telling myself that maybe it wasn’t for me to soften the blow didn’t always work if I’m real about it! I wanted what I wanted and that no at times would make me want to give up. The thing about no is that it doesn’t care who you are, your skill set, etc. no is no until you take no and make something out of it.

Whatever no you told yourself, change it. Whatever no you have heard that allowed to stop you in your tracks, get up. I didn’t say it would be easy. I never told you that motivation was supposed to paint this easy picture. It’s not! Motivation allows you another deep breath to prepare for what you want and strengthens you in case no happens again. Sometimes no comes in certain seasons of life. Sometimes no comes in waves. Ride the waves and turn your no around. This is why the Mo’niques of the world have to find ways to make their own wave. No is hard but don’t take the world and burn bridges. Dust the sting of no and find your own opportunities!

Move past your no today!

Women’s Month: Judith M.

As we continue to truck along during this series it will allow us to be able to get the behind the scenes of women in our own community. Today we talked to Judith Dumorney-McDaniel.  She is an Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, and Community Activist who has over 20 years of wide-ranging hands-on-experience in areas of Youth Development, Mentoring, After School, Education, Fundraising and Community Organizing.  She is the Founder and Executive Director of Teenagers in Charge, a non-profit organization establish in 1995.  Their mission is to help teens build their self-esteem, heighten their cultural and community awareness and most importantly provide them resources so they can learn how to take charge of their lives.  She is passionate about serving youth and others see her as a devoted community advocate, educator, and mentor.

She earned her B.A. in English Literature at the University of Pittsburgh and her MBA at Rosemont College.  She is a State Auditor with the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, Department of the Auditor General.  She is also a paid consultant with Episcopal Community Services and facilitates parent workshops and training through DHS’ Parenting Collaborative Workshop Series.  She continues to provide professional development training to a diverse group of adult volunteers, biological and foster parents throughout the city of Philadelphia.

She managed and led teams on many projects.  Mrs. Dumorney-McDaniel assisted individuals and groups learn how to obtain their 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization as well as hosted informative business-related workshops on entrepreneurship, financial literacy, and mentoring.  She is a consummate charitable volunteer, who believes in “giving back to the community what you took out of it.”

Her civic work and passion with children, youth and families who are homeless and live in foster care extends two decades.  She has worked with the Juvenile Justice Center, Public Health Management Corporation, City of Philadelphia, and other local educational and non-profit organizations.  Other non-profits including providing assistance to Mocha Moms, Inc. Philadelphia Chapter where she served as the former President and is the Charter Founder, a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., a non-profit organization committed to public service, an avid parent volunteer at Bodine High School for International Affairs where her daughter attends, and a long-standing volunteer computer instructor at the Haddington Multi Services for Older Adults, Inc.

She is married with one daughter, lives in Overbrook park and worships at Enon Tabernacle Baptist Church where she and her family are members.

Now that is the resume who has given her life not only developing her own skills set to be able to assist but actually does what she says.  Let that be a lesson to other women that no matter how decorated you are, there is something inside of you that you can give to others. Try finding something you are passionate about and use that passion to help others around you.

What would you tell your younger self?

I would tell my younger self to listen to my parents and align myself with positive people who are doing positive things as well as those who share the same morals and values as you. I would also suggest that I get involved in more extra curricular activities and always remember to serve!

What lessons have you learned about life, love, and career so far?

Life is too short! Live everyday as if it were your last. Love yourself unconditionally so that you will appreciate it when someone else shows you the same in return. As for your career, find a passion and turn it into a profit! There is no need to work a 9-5 job if you are unhappy so if and when that is the case-use your job to fund your dream!

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

I hope that I can officially retire in 5 years and then take time out to do whatever I want which is travel and see the world!

What are some of your accomplishments?

I am a wife and mother; I started a nonprofit organization in 1995 that still exists called Teenagers In Charge; I have won numerous awards and citations from the City, State and Congressional level; and I am an author.

How do you feel about the Me Too movement?  How do you plan on using this movement in your family or community?

I honestly have always addressed issues head on with my daughter and as a family so the “Me Too” movement does not apply to me. I try not to really get bogged down with platforms, marches and speeches that have no plan of action beyond the rhetoric! It is frustrating to me when there is NO action beyond the platforms. I personally feel that if we take the time to teach others about how to be proactive rather than reactive after the march takes place; we would see more results. We need more people doing the work and teaching our youth/adults how to take charge of their lives from day one and more importantly, show them the impact of what will happen if they don’t do what needs to be done beyond their cause. This will have more of an impact and that is just my personal opinion.

What are the things on your heart that you look forward to crushing (accomplishing) in the future?

I want to address more issues related to homeless youth as this is my passion. Homeless youth in our country needs to be addressed and I am taking small steps on raising awareness about the issue and using creative platforms to make it happen! I am also looking forward to my book being a best seller!

What are ways that you practice self-love?

I date myself and spend quality time with myself, shop, travel, invest in my personal growth and development. I read daily affirmations out loud.

So with everything you read there are a few take aways:

  1. What are you actively doing in your own life?  She teaches girls how to take control of their life but there are a few adults that need to do the same.  Don’t talk about, be about it.
  2. When you do get your life together, give what you took out.  Don’t forget along your journey there are folks pouring into you.  Do not get big and forget that and give that back in return to someone else.
  3. Your Resume can be whatever you want but make sure while you are doing for others that you find a way to get a passion and find a way even if it’s using your regular job to fund that.  We live in an unhappy world but personal happiness is your job and your job alone.

You can find her on social media:



Teenagers in Charge Facebook

Judith also has a new book out!


About the Author, Judith Dumorney-McDaniel and a little about the book: On January 15th, she celebrated her 50th Birthday! As a gift to herself, she wanted to make sure that she gave away her greatest gift to others because she wanted to leave a legacy and create generational wealth! It is with God’s permission that she presented to some and introduce to others, her first book entitled: Teenagers in Charge-a Blueprint to Unmasking the Greatness in You. The stories shared in this book will serve as a resource and is a rebirth for all teenagers who have had some challenges along the way. Although, it was difficult, these teens conquered it all through their hard work, determination, commitment and dedication. They felt empowered to make a positive change and beat all odds! They chose to redirect the negative energy and made a conscious effort to excel on all aspects of their lives. Some had a mentor and others have not but at the end of the day, they were able to identify their greatest gifts. A special segment in the book highlights young adults who served in a mentor capacity. They had an opportunity to share their own stories on how life was for them as teenagers, how mentoring impacted their lives and how rewarding it was for them to unmask the greatness in others. This book is a blueprint for all teens around the world, who are faced with adversity and have the audacity to be different because they are seeking to secure the greatness in them! 

To pre-order the book for 19.95 you can do so with Paypal