Happy Friday. How else has had a long week? I know I definitely have. I am glad to be able to get into the weekend although this weekend is supposed to be some snow. I know its winter and I complain every year about it but I don’t like the snow. I never have and I most likely will not like it either. Either way I can’t do anything about it. I already made cookies just in case it does come and that we can drink some hot chocolate and be warm and eat. This is the why I stay so vigilant in the winterabout working out.
I do have an event on Saturday night and I have a family outing on Saturday afternoon. We shall see what happens. Sunday is going to a brunch Sunday and I am super excited. Outside of that I have 2 projects I am working on and I want to start filming for Valentine’s Day! This week has been a challenge just emotionally. I spoke on the blog about how my Wednesday went but it was more or less a build –up of things that I hadn’t addressed. I want to talk a little more about how to deal with unlocked emotions.
Your Trigger Your Issue
Apart of a great check in especially with yourself is being honest about your mental and emotional well– being. What are your triggers? How do you respond when a trigger is hit? For me I can range from being loud and angry to quiet and distant. I am lucky to have my husband who is becoming more and more aware of my triggers. I am grateful to work them out on my own but I can let him know I am in the middle of a trigger and I need some understanding. That doesn’t mean that with an announcement of a trigger I can just be super rude. I can’t bite everyone’s head off and I can’t just go off to get through a trigger. So doing what works for you to get through that doesn’t push someone else over the edge or causes further damage to yourself either.
They don’t help me?
I used to a few years back before going to therapy would get mad at my husband because he didn’t help me through a trigger. I placed all these high expectations on him to do something. What was he supposed to do? If he held my hand it wasn’t enough. If he hugged me through it he was being too passive. If he listened he wasn’t engaging enough. Triggers are personal. The work to get through them comes from the inside out. You need to have someone who isn’t ready to jump ship when you are in the middle of a trigger but you have to be actively working through them and not just triggering and apologizing.
No Apology Needed
I used to say sorry for every trigger. In some of my triggers I would be apologizing like every few moments. I learned that an apology is supposed to be for when I wanted to change the behavior. Triggers are normal to have. This is why I work on being clear in my word choice so that I don’t have to apologize for having a trigger and now I don’t have to apologize for bad behavior because that is no longer an issue. Trauma is a lot of work to get through. My issues that created took a long while to create and they will take a long while to get through. I just focus on my inner work and inner peace. I am grateful for the skills to get through some of the darker moments of life.
This week’s catch up tips on how to catch up with others I would suggest if you have an iPhone or an app that will allow you to see your loved one use it. It’s great to hear someone’s voice but even better if you could see their face. Being that a lot of my friends and family aren’t in Philadelphia or within driving distance, seeing those helps. I use this method to contact and speak to my two nieces who live about 2 hours away. It allows me to keep the communication open. Technology was made for moments such as that and not for us to argue and fight over opinions. If used the correct way it can bring a lot of joy to those around you. I got my grandma a new phone per her request. I also made sure to get her and set up the app to be able to see her. Now the stress to get her set up on it was a LOT. I ain’t even going to lie and act as if it went smoothly but I do believe in the long run it was worth it. The app I use with my grandma is Google Duo! It’s easy to use and super easy to install! Grandma is rocking now!
If you are fortunate to have someone whom you live with and you find that you aren’t connecting as much as you need to, turn your phone off. Sit close to them. Find a show that you enjoy. Last night my husband and I watched Grownish together eating cookies and drinking wine. A great way to connect and to focus on the fun of a show we both love. These are small ways you can connect and keep the connections especially with our colliding schedules.
So I wish you all a great weekend. I am in the middle of a 21 day blogging fest and I missed two days so you will be getting a blog a day until January 23rd who knows I might go the rest of the month. I love doing challenges like this with other bloggers. I also will be updating my events and what’s happening page. I haven’t updated since Christmas.
Just a look ahead we are doing a Self-Love Challenge in conjunction with Valentine’s Day! I know it sounds cliché but the best love comes from within. You can’t recognize amazing love if you don’t first feel it from yourself daily. I can’t wait to have a little fun with this series.