Well the day has been rainy and I really wanted to just relax on my lunch break and that’s code for read magazines and eat. However when I looked at my calendar and thanked the Lord for allowing me to finally get to 8 weeks post surgery, I got super excited. Then I got really sad when I saw I have less than a month to get in shape for a 5k and a walk that I have in the same weekend in September. I started to get anxiety as if I wouldn’t be ready in time. I decided that instead of worrying about it, it was time to get in the gym. So I did and I didn’t die.
I really wanted to wait until next week but then I thought about my whole mantra I have lived by which is not to put it off. So I tied my hair until a bun, put my sweat bands on and headed in the rain to the gym. The whole time I wanted to make a turn and roll out but I kept going. At first I was super intimidated. I was like girl you ain’t ready, just work on something productive and you will feel just as good. Then I thought about today being national failures day and I was like naw, I got to keep on going. I got in the gym and stretched and then got to work. Let me say that I have done some exercises towards the end of my surgery but its a whole other ball game when you’re in the gym. I wanted to take things slow but the reality is that even when I took sports in high school slow doesn’t always motivate me so I played a game with each song to push myself and change the intervals while doing cardio. Until tomorrow with a new song line up, I can’t wait to crush it again.
So all in all I have to say I hope that getting back into the swing of things will boost my energy. I have noticed that every 2 day I have to go to bed before 9pm. I can’t go much longer than two days before I feel like someone hit me with a car even with taking all of my vitamins. So maybe that will change but 2 months later a few weeks taking them and I am no longer on go all the time. My hormones have finally leveled out. The night sweats have decreased and so has the hot flashes. That is a blessing let me tell you. I still carry my fan with me I refuse to be out here and not prepared that’s for sure.
A lot of the issues that I had prior to surgery has gone away. I am super happy to feel like I am a healthy woman again. Finding out that a lot of this needed to be corrected years ago has been hard as I pushed to have these things done but not by the right doctor who would listen. So now with the right doctors in place, life has gotten so much easier.
So I look forward to a few things. As the year is in its last quarter or very close to it, I have some fitness goals yet to work on.
- Maintain my weight
- Ability to choose the costume for Halloween I want. Last year although cute, I felt like an over sized Mario Brothers (female version) with sausage arms.
- Not look like I am the mini turkey for Thanksgiving (won’t see my sausage arms in this year’s pics)
- Get to the New Years with an awesome little number (dress) even if I don’t go anywhere. You know if my husband and I don’t go out I throw a mean family party. I’ll be the flyest in-house mom ever.
- To be able to look back on this year and know my goal for 2018 won’t be to lose any weight but to maintain it. You know the years prior I would make a goal and never work at it, never achieve it, but it was a “goal” I had in the back of my mind since surely my body didn’t do the work to get there.
So ladies and gentleman thank you all for rocking out with me during this hysterectomy journey. All of the ups and downs have all been worth this moment of clarity and health. Be vigilant about your health and complete your goals!
Happy Monday to you. Happy I am just making it Monday. Happy I am alive Monday. Whatever your Monday looks like to you, make it that and rise above it. Yes the weekend has left some of us dry. If it wasn’t the news that is constantly being pushed in our faces, to relationships, situationships, kids, jobs, etc you may be at wit’s end.
So we all know that we need to protect our spirit. Your spirit is your essence. It’s your wits. It’s you in a nut shell. I know there are many times when I have to take a time out. I give my kids one and have no shame in taking one. You need to protect your essence. All of life’s drama can take the beauty out of you if you let it. Today I am even more guarded to keep being informed but to filter some of the junk to avoid getting too overly emotional or let things take me out of my element.
Life is hard but cover yourself today and everyday. Cover your children who don’t fully understand but are in the presence of the same junk you are touched with. Never underestimate that they are able to pick up on negative vibes just as much as you do. Protect what they see and hear. Protect who they are around. Who you allow your kids to be around speaks volumes as they take on what on who is around them. Protect what words you say around them as well. Words have life and death in them and you have to be careful that the tearing down isn’t occurring in-house. We are worried about the outsiders but truth be told you can cause more damage in house than you will ever know if you aren’t careful.
Filter what you take on when it comes to social media. I love social media but the down size is that it doesn’t always allow you to be social. It can become battle grounds. It can become warfare. It can zap your energy. It can take up so much of your time. It can allow you to not be able to disengage with those around you. It is a choice and you must make good choices on what you entertain on social media. Everything isn’t worth a response. Everything doesn’t need a clap back. You have to clean your social media act up. Delete some accounts you don’t need. Take a few folks off that you allow to get you all up in arms. Learn to take a step back with who you call friends on your social media accounts. Never post anything you don’t stand by 100% and be prepared to live with any backlash. Learn that some things that inspire you may just be for you. Learn that you can choose to spread hate or love. Love on yourself. Practice self-love everyday. Mental illness is real and it can be elevated by social media because when the mind is weak it allows the defenses of everything to be low. Be careful. Speak life today. Speak life into your situations and find ways to make your bottom line better. Reach out to help others when your able. It’s no different from when you’re on a plane, they tell you to put the oxygen mask on you first. Same rule applies in life, stop handing out all of your resources to others and leave yourself depleted. Help you than you can help someone else. Have a great Monday and practice self love and love on others around you.
Well cue in the music I have survived my first week back to work. I really love the fact that all things were back in normal shape. Everyone hadn’t really changed as much so getting back into the routine was easy.
Now the part I didn’t anticipate is how tired I have been. Like the type of tired where you wake up and forget where you are tired. I have been battling this all week. I have gone back to all of my vitamins that the doctor prescribed. I took a break until I knew how my body was healing. My doctor approved this for me. We wanted to get me at a base line to see where I was. So I am not sure if it’s a combination of that, having to be up at 545 in the morning or just my body trying to adjust me to normal life. Whatever it is I am totally over it.
I had a great week if you take the tiredness out. My job had a welcome back party for me and that was super nice and unexpected. To be honest I was expecting nothing but long emails and work to get through. So it was appreciated to feel missed. It took me over 45 minutes to remember all of my passwords. That was funny. By lunch time on my first day I had it down and I even got all of my items that I normally done by then. It was just weird. Another issue is that I am mellowing out more than I ever have in life. Like the type of mellow when your kids spell everything at the same time after you just mopped but you calmly just clean it up and walk away type of vibe. I find myself looking at myself like girl who are you?! I don’t recognize myself these days. It’s a good thing. It has to be the lower amount of hormones that I am experiencing. Whatever it is I feel like I am always sipping coffee in a good mood type of women.
Also I got braids in while I was off so a lot of people walked right past me and didn’t recognize me. That was funny. I gave it a day and then went to some of my colleagues and was like hey girl I am back. Hair can change you I suppose. No matter what small obstacles have occurred all I can say is I am glad to be back to work and hoping that this exhaustion will soon go away. I went to bed at almost 530 last night. I mean like real sleep none of that watching tv stuff either. Shout out to my boss who is super understanding during this transition. Its week 7 so one more week until physically I should be okay. It takes a year to get your body where you want it overall.
So its back to the normal grind, anniversary is over and time to get my kids focused for back to school. I am at least done with the back to school shopping so that is an A+ in my book. Have a great weekend and be on the continued lookout as more blogs come your way. August is going to be a great month. Don’t forget to enjoy the last moments of Summer. I have 2 more items to cross of my list but I am determined to be able to look back and say I had a good one. I hope the same for you.
I finally have my date set to go back to work. Yay! I don’t even know how I’ll feel going back. All this time to recover and get my body and mind together I feel like I’m on a forever vacation. None the less I must return and at the end of the month literally I’ll be back to business as usual.
So until that day I will recover, enjoy my time off and continue on my way. One of the things I am liking but not liking are the little things that are coming out during this time. One is just my adjustment to the people around me. My hormones are leveling out. I have such a ways to go but I am noticing that I am able to jump back into some things quicker.
When I was in Wildwood I had to take a break from the crowd and gather my thoughts. A large part of that had to do with physical pain as I was able to relax and get it together. Then this weekend opened my eyes to a few things. I’m learning that I can’t control much and to be okay when things fall apart. Not to be so quick to fix things. To let a few things take its time. I am a worrier by nature. If I feel like my world isn’t in it’s place that fear makes me get more involved. The issue with that is I usually make things worst. So right now I am learning to enjoy the peace in the midst of confusion.
I remember growing up and my parents trying to teach me that lesson. I am quick witted and usually my mouth is sharp. Although that’s an excellent trait to have when needed it can back fire. At this point I’m learning to be vulnerable and be at peace. If for whatever reason things don’t line up it wasn’t supposed to. I don’t need to keep everything or everyone around me okay.
So it’s the little lessons that are the best when I open myself to learn. There will be many more lessons I’m sure of it. But when you aren’t in the normal flow of life and you have no choice to slow down you get it. Like my mom would say your bulb comes on. And trust me I don’t like it but it’s necessary.
So as I go into week 5 I have some loose ends to fix. For instance I have some stuff with my job to get in line and all I can say is somebody lift your sister in prayer. I am definitely the type to have my paperwork in order and I found that I’m not dealing with the same belief system. I’ll blog about it once it’s taken care of. I also have quite a number of appointments yet to attend to. I’m going back to work on week 6 but reality is it won’t be 100% until week 8. I contemplated taking the entire 8 weeks off but I’ll be okay to go back to work at week 6.
I also have to get some things situated on the home life. My goal is to have a few things done ahead of time to make my work transition a little easier. I will do a soft attempt to get back into a soft work out. Yes you read that right. This week I’ll do longer walks and see how I do weaning off of ibuprofen. I will also do some test runs during the time I would be at work. That way I can see how I may hold with no nap. Yes I said naps. I love and know I will miss my naps when I go back to work. Trust me if you had the ability to take a nap here and there you would be on it. So here’s to another week of the hot flashes. And hoping that the tiredness and irritability goes down as well.
So here’s to stepping into week 5!! Have a great week!! I hope you are enjoying your Summer. I still will be doing my beach day. Either this week or next before I go back to work. A day by myself to regroup and align myself for the rest of the summer and prepare some goals for the Fall!! I like to think of it as a personal retreat if you will.
Thank you all who prayed or thought of my family and I as we celebrated my mother in law’s birthday this past weekend. Continue to lift up our family in prayer and thoughts especially my husband.
Happy national donut day!! I had one and I mean only one donut and couldn’t really eat much of anything else. I forced myself to have a healthy lunch because that donut was definitely a lot of empty carbs. Well I hope you all had a good week. We are coming off a 4 day weekend some of us anyway from Memorial Day. I hope you had a great holiday weekend. We celebrated my daughter’s birthday and had a really good weekend. No complaints. So as far as this short week it has definitely been filled with a lot of ups and downs. So let’s get into it.
Personal Highs/Personal Lows
This week I am going to put these two categories together. There is a lot going on and I told you lovelies I would update you. One we had a great time celebrating my now 8-year-old. Time is flying when you’re having fun right? We are also gearing up for my son’s preschool graduation. I know some people make a big deal that these types of graduations are pointless but it just gives the little people something to look forward to. I personally feel like celebrations are what makes life great. Those who know me know I will make his day special. That’s what I do. I feel like life is about making memories that they can look back on. It’s better than buying a bunch of material things.
Also this week I have been vigilant with my doctors to get me an answer. I have been suffering with migraines for quite some time. I am also anemic. However with the new diet my doctor made sure I had all of the supplements that one would need and I increased all of the iron enriched foods so you would think I was good right? Wrong. I am not. My doctors and I have decided that it was time to get a hysterectomy. I know for some they get it done when they have fibroids. I do not have them. I am losing too much blood. My blood volumes and levels are one step to more transfusions. For some they would say, why not start a pill that would decrease your period. However the thing is that I have already done that. I have been on pills off and on. I got my tubes tied when I had my 3rd and last child. I know some would say why put this out there? One its MY BODY and my page. Secondly being a woman going through women issues is not a place of shame and I refuse to hide like I did something wrong. That is pure craziness. Why would I keep it hush-hush when there are millions of women like me going through the same thing.
I am no wonder. I won’t be the first or the last. Ladies my decision was about what was best for me. I have to do what I need to do for ME. Was my husband there? Absolutely. I know my decision will have an affect temporarily on my home but I had to do what was best for me. No need to lose this weight, do all of this work and still be underlying unhealthy. That is sheer madness. I know what I need to do and I know what can happen if I don’t. I love me and I need to be here as well as I have little people who need to have a healthy mom. So with that in mind in the next week that is what I will be doing. Have I researched all of the options? Absolutely. This has been an ongoing back and forth thing. I am prepared for the steps after. I do NOT claim to know it all. However I am fully aware that the steps towards self-love will help me through the down side of this procedure. So with MY family’s support we will be fine. I have learned to tune out some of the naysayers. They will say don’t let them take nothing out. Meanwhile I can’t count on them to watch my kids when I am somewhere bleeding out. I can’t slide them a bill when I am off of work and missing time off. I can’t count on them to pick up a phone call to say how is it going. You see that was a free nugget right? I refuse to give folks who show you they are more concerned with their bottom line than mine make my health decisions. Got to keep pushing towards what will work for me and the ones that have to live through all of this.
So with that in mind you may see an increase in blogs. I will have more down time. Whenever I have downtime, I write and I read so be on the look out. I plan to blog the hell out of this situation. Not to get sympathy. I am one strong cookie. But to raise awareness. My heart goes out to the women who are medically forced to make this decision and desire to have children and can’t. I have 3 kids and already put in place the parimeters not to have more already. There is no child birth loss for me. So for the ladies with this loss, it is a loss. I researched this and I find comfort in reading other blogs of women who have gone through this. And with life we are all connected. Keep me in prayer and stay logged on twitter (toitiemblog) and facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/toitimeladies/) as I will update.
- Kathy Griffin out here with a replica of Donald Trump being beheaded and it has set off this major storm on insensitivity. I think for me and this is where MY opinion comes off. It was a bit much. However if the same ones were upset when the nooses was being shown with imagery of Obama was shown and not because he is Black alone but on the principle of right and wrong than okay. If not than you just being extra. What people don’t get is that your argument is more valid when it’s based on principle. Meaning you would extend the same sympathy to another like you want it done for your favorite than you have merit.
- Ireland will have its first openly gay prime minister after Leo Varadkar was elected into the office.
- Withdraw of Paris climate agreement.
- Continuation of the Russian influence of the election. Continue to stand by for breaking news of this ongoing legal battle.
So I pray you all enjoy your weekend. There are some good movies. I saw Wonder Woman and as I thought without giving things away, I walked away feeling great about being a woman. I may see it again if you’re looking for a quick should you go or not-there you go. I am taking the kids to see Captain Underpants tonight. Summer movies are really heating up. I plan on some me time and I have to work. So find an activity that you enjoy and make yourself feel like the beautiful gem that you are.
I was watching a video of a judge that was reprimanding a couple. The mother of the child that was brutally beat and killed was held responsible too for the heinous death as she should be. However the part that stuck out to me is the fact that while the mother was working the man was home not working. Now do not confuse this with men being stay at home dads because the wife has a higher paying job. I understand that. I was a full-time stay at home mom for many years. The cost of daycare can be a person’s whole salary or very close to it. Sometimes it’s not cost-effective to have two people working if the income coming in will not put a dent to anything. If the man is the one making the less money it makes sense to have him stay at home and keep his kids no different from it is for a woman. I do not think it makes him any less than a man to do so. I would rather somebody be financially responsible than struggle any day when you don’t have to.
My issues aren’t with the stay at home dads but the fake stay at home dads we have in the society is who I am coming for. You are not a stay at home dad because you don’t want to work and are comfortable with your woman taking care of you. I don’t know where we strayed with the next generation but if there was ever an epic fail like it is today, men are missing it. This is not a hate men blog. No this is hey get it together blog. There is no need for any man sitting at home waiting on his woman to bring home a check while he does nothing. You not even selling lemons on the highway? Not flipping a burger? My husband has worked 2 jobs to make things work. Not because he wanted to but because he had to. You won’t be able to convince a real woman to a man not working is a good thing. I have a wonderful father who barely took 5 days off of work since I was a preteen. That speaks volumes. My grandfather is in his 80s and he is “retired” but still works and does odd jobs like busting concrete and ground work. For lazy men let me school you that means the government says you have earned your keep you can relax and he says naw son let me get out here so my wife can relax and make sure she good. His kids are grown. He is still out here doing what needs to do to make sure there is steady money coming into his home. I spoke to him last week and told him he really could give a few young cats a lesson on what hard work looks like. So from where I sit I am not here for no non working, sitting on his ass, don’t want to work but would rather play video game man.
The toddler was mostly in this do nothing man’s care as she endured over 50 injuries and most of the injuries were brutal even for an adult. So this man didn’t work was a monster and decided to beat the hell out of a child. Too much idle time on his hand. A job would have not given him that much access to that child. Would he still be a monster? Most likely but damn he literally day in and day out over a short period of time beat a child. I can’t even fathom that baby’s last moments. I look at my kid and they frustrate me like no one can. To think I would lose control and inflict pain is unimaginable. I barely beat their behinds let alone abuse them. We have to step it up. Both the mom and dad was wrong if that was her dad. The amount of men who are beating and killing our kids don’t even be the dads. It’s usually a no account boyfriend that we freely turn over our kids to so they can rape and hurt them. Let me school you like my momma would school you, there ain’t that good of the D to allow me to put my kids in harm’s way. I will not turn a blind eye to my child over a man. These babies are defenseless and we are the ones leading them to the foolishness. We already have to wonder if a stranger is going to manipulate and mess with our children however its the monster you know. Let me say I can’t tell you as a woman how long you should date a man before you allow them around your child. I do say you need to spend some seasons with him before you leave them unattended. Watch how he looks at your child. Watch and see what he does when he gets angry. Listen to your child. Check your children. Be prayerful. Stop getting a new man and being so head over heels that you leave caution to the wind.
What can you say if you aren’t mindful of your child when something happens. Yes its the monster who did wrong but if you didn’t pay attention you bare the responsibility. The mom knew that the child had at least one serious head injury. This man with blunt force hit this baby so hard that she had at least 10 dents in her skull. Think about that for a moment. She was hit that hard and no one noticed negative signs from that? Or it was noticed but the care level wasn’t there. I shutter sometimes when I read these headlines about abuse and death of children. Everytime one of these precious babies die it only shows the potential the world loses for these beautiful lights to have given something back to it. We need our babies but the only way to guarantee that is to do better and screen who we allow them to be around. Let me also tell you that you got to watch friends or family. There is not one member of my family or set of friends that I would put anything past. That doesn’t mean I have them pegged as anything that simply means that I will never allow my relationship with them cloud my judgement. If my child said something happens I got their back first and foremost. I will never take anyone else other them as they were given to me to protect. I won’t even allow them around folks who I have tested myself and see they don’t add up. I do not make one apology for that. I could care less about your spoiled adult feelings on that. They are mine and my husband and there are no do overs.
Got the song in your head now? You should. It’s time to move. We discussed the reasons why physical movement can help to cut down the physical stress. So let’s figure out some fun ways to make it happen.
Let’s keep it real I am a full-time mom, wife, I have a full time job and in between life and balance it isn’t easy. My work outs do not ever look the same day-to-day or even week to week. So what are the ways you can increase your physical activity?
- Move-yes if you work you can go to the bathroom on different floors, take the stairs, do some chair exercises. Whatever you choose to do, move. Sitting is the new smoking so you can’t afford to just sit all day. Even if you are one who isn’t all into the gym, you can’t deny how much better your mood and your joints feel after some movement.
- Take a lesson-this is the best time now that the weather is breaking to take a class. If you don’t know how to swim take a lesson. Want to take a class you were too scared to take before or used the cold of the winter as your excuse, dump the excuse and take a class. Taking a class aids in your healthy well-being as well as it can be a great way to network.
- Get involved-there are a lot of ways you can get things done in your community. If you feel the opportunity isn’t there what better way than to create it? Get out and motivate others. While doing this you can help your physical and mental being as well as get involved and meet some dynamic people.
- Form groups-it doesn’t even need to be something super elaborate. It could be a walking club. Get a few or more of you together that can share in a common goal and walk. It’s that simple. No money involved and super easy that will only require some time and some dedication.
- Love -did you know that the more and your new boo or your old boo work out together and get involved in an activity that it helps in your relationship and takes stress away to the max. No one pushes buttons together like a couple. So if you find something you can do together its an automatic win. Don’t want to go out? How about fixing things in your home together? You get to move about, get things done, and the both of you can connect, argue, and love your way to the completion of your task.
- Dance-you can burn a lot of calories dancing the night away. You don’t have to be the best dancer either. If you live alone, turn the music up and get in the zone. You can pretend to be any dancer or entertainer you want to be and have a great time doing it.
It’s time to get out and enjoy your life. A few things I do to get moving:
- Soul Cycle-you can read both of my blogs on my experience. I am not a pro but I definitely can say I am so much better than before.
- Free-yes I use YouTube to my advantage when I can’t get out of my house. I do not allow too much time to elapse where no physical activity is going down but nothing makes me smile more than a free YouTube video work out.
- Gym-I do still try to do at least bare minimal 2 days at the gym. I typically get my 3 days in since I do my workouts during my lunch time at work, shower, and then continue with my day.
- Use my kids-do you know how solid my kids are? Them little nuggets is like big mac babies when it comes to using them for weights. I usually aim for my son but I have them doing all kinds of stuff with me. They think its mommy and me time and I’m like come beat that donut off of me time. I get a kick and they do too. They line up waiting their turn and its always makes the time go fast and a good laugh is always a good thing in my book.
- All of the things above that I mention I incorporate into my life. I am on the road to being well-rounded and as much as I feel like an island I am embracing the idea of including and allowing others in my life appropriately. You know I ain’t letting just any old body around me. However I am finding some great friendships along the way and embracing them.