Another Health is Wealth Moment by S. L. Efua Joe

As we prepare for another storm let’s consider a few things. One power has been knocked out for a lot of those in the north as the storms have hit. With that in mind a lot of frozen food have been wasted in the process.

Today is national frozen food day! Let’s take another perspective in how our health and frozen food and how it came into existence over the years:

Advertisements

Check Your Own Body

I have so many tips for doing different work outs but I am not a professional so I really have what works for me.  I don’t even act like my fail proof plan is a Godsend for all, however there comes a time when you have to be on top of things because let’s face it, who else will?  I remember a reader asking an Ask Toi about gynecological exams and if they should continue to have them done after they were married. My answer then and now is an absolute YES!

Image result for hell yeah

Marriage doesn’t mean you sexual health is perfect. You as a woman need to be aware that now that you got the ring and are one, you can still be one at risk woman.  I always wish happiness and great sex for married couples but if anything you should know right now, everyone ain’t on the up and up.  Not only that outside of getting an unwanted and unexpected non gift from a mate, is the risk of ovarian cancer. It is your job to do all you can to live a happy and healthy life.  Part of living a healthy life is to be about your health and sexual health is important.  No ring or marriage certificate will keep you safe.  So my advice is simple, get checked.  I’ve told the story before how when I was pregnant with my youngest, my OBGYN asked me if I wanted to get the STD panel done.  My answer was hell yes. Her response is well you’re married and you have kids.  I asked her who licensed her again because if you are giving me of sound mind this advice what in the holy hell was she telling other women.  Ladies get checked regardless of your status even my born again virgins that ain’t had none since Jesus was a baby, you need to get things checked too.

Image result for you tried it

No married woman should be told, you good and that’s it. Again the amount of women who die from ovarian cancer is enough for me to check.  Also like I said I do not subscribe that my husband is so perfect that there is a chance that I am going to be okay. I do trust my husband but how many women rely on trust alone and find out after it’s too late that there husband was on the “down low” and they have contracted something that a pill or a shot can’t cure.  I have told my husband plenty of times that I love me and my kids enough and I get that sometimes men take chances on getting some new %ussy but I refuse to live my life where I just throw caution to the wind. One of us has to love themselves enough to get things checked out.  So far after 5 years there hasn’t need to put the “man” between us.  I do not live my life on the edge.  If something is wrong I want to know, get a plan and keep it moving. This is why I encourage my ladies and my men to know what is going on with your health.  Avoidance is a sure fail way to not live your best life.  In order to have a good life you need to be here.

Image result for i got to live

So find what works for you in general.  I would also encourage all to see your doctor as well as a nutritionist.  These two are key to getting your health on track.  What you eat is literally a large component to how healthy your life is.  Eating the wrong things can contribute to high cholesterol, weight issues, etc.  Overall health seems so overwhelming. I think when I am trying to drink enough water, exercise, take care of my kids, go to work, have a good sex life, be good to my husband, and anything else life throws how much it takes to be on point in each other.  This is why I believe in balance.  However when it comes to my health, I believe in going in, getting things checked and then attacking each area.

Image result for mind my business and drink water

 

 

Weekend Recap: Monday October 30

I usually give a weekly recap but I was off from my daytime job on Friday and spent some time getting some things in order as well as attended some activities with my kids. So let’s recap:

Personal Goals:

So I am happy to report that after having my surgery I got a clean bill of health. I also found out that my blood has restored itself, is healthy and I am no longer anemic.  Let me insert a praise break for that news right there.

Image result for praise break gif

I have STRUGGLED with anemia since I started getting a cycle.  I have had so many complications and I never would have dreamed of this day. But it is here and I am over the moon excited.  It’s a great feeling to have your health on point and it only took almost my whole life to get it there.  I am grateful for that!

As many as you know I went to the Together Live 2017 conference and had a time. You can catch up on that blog as it’s already posted. We celebrated my mother in law and it was just somber.  All of the emotions of the year before were so fresh. I personally remember the events and hold my kids close to me.  We do NOT know our time and I would hate to not think I was giving them all I could everyday.  I am super honored and humbled by my husband’s strength.  I also had a great weekend with my husband. We were able to get out and enjoy some time together adulting. As promised I am sharing this year’s costume so you can see the difference in what a year looks like.  We are still not finished yet. We are taking active roles in eating right, working out, and being intentional in our goals.  So yes it takes work.  I was over 250 in the second pic to my now of almost to my 150 goal. Thats a lot of weight to come off but I did it the right way, no short cuts.

This year’s costume:

IMG-4935

Compared to last year’s costume:

IMG-4953

Huge difference in weight for both of us and our overall health.  We are out here trying to live our best lives.

Blog Goals:

So in case you missed you blogged about: Sunday’s message-don’t duplicate someone else’s shine, Monday push through, wait your turn, the cold weather depression, 30 years in the making, an Ask Toi about apologizing to a co-worker, Together Live 2017, Never Forgotten, and lastly Sunday Message-Complaints do nothing.  A lot huh?  Absolutely.  We are out here blogging that’s for sure. There is always something for everyone. So to catch up, click the link; ToiTime Blogs

What’s Coming Up for ToiTime?

I will be attending this weekend the Starry Night which is an organization that helps in raising money for kids with brain cancers. I would hope that no child would ever have to go through cancer of any for let alone brain cancer.  So if you would like to donate to the walk, you can; Starry Night 2017

I will be adding other conferences and events as we get closer.

The biggest thing that is coming up is my blogiversary.  Yes 3 years this November.  I will be posting contests so please stay tuned to my ToiTime Facebook page.  All announcements on prizes and games will be on the Facebook page alone!  Only announcements of winners may be on the blog.

I hope you have a great week! Happy Halloween to all who celebrate it.  Please be safe! Google places to actually scan your kids candy.  They exist.  Please wear reflective gear when you travel and try to travel in groups.  Check your kids’ candy!

 

How To Jump Start Your Workouts

The best way to jump-start is to start.  Yes seems simple but can be super hard.  The biggest reason it’s so hard to do is your mind guilt trips you. So you play the start tomorrow game.  Tomorrow comes and you start the next day.  A week has passed and then before you know it a month, and then a year….You are still at the same weight or worse you are at the same weight.  So don’t start later, start now.

So if you are contemplating if you should start today, that answer is wrong its called start now.  You can really do a number on your psyche by literally listing everything wrong you ate.  Even if its 7pm you still have time to make better decisions.  Own your guilt.  Know you made a bad choice in what you consumed and literally make the very next decision better.  So instead of harping on the Snickers you ate, the next thing you consume could be a piece of fruit and some water.  It’s really that simple.  Don’t go and eat that donut after the Snickers and then say oh well what’s done is done.  You are in control of what you eat.  Trust me you want to master this now, before the holidays come in and by New Years you will be defeated making another New Years Resolution that you can be attacking now before 2018 even hits.

Here are a few tips in getting started right away:

  1. Own your food-write it down.  You can use a notebook or an app but write it down.  The more you own it and can see what damages you are doing the better at fixing it.
  2. Change what you are consuming right away.  Replace, replace, replace.  If you really love something so bad you feel that you must have it, than replace it with a much healthier version.  For some it may be taking a king size to a bite size and truly sticking to the smaller size.  Or it could be finding healthier ingredients to achieve the same purpose.  I have a sweet tooth so to combat that especially with things like ice-cream I choose Halo Top and add fresh fruit instead of chocolate candies and syrups, and only scoop out enough for a cup.  The replacement is to calm the sweet tooth but not having to eat all of the small pint in one sitting. Also not eating out of the Halo Top container helps me control the portion.
  3. Switch up your workouts.  I used to only rely on cardio, and cardio is good but adding weights and resistance is good too.  Variety also is necessary to achieve any goal.  Your body will get used to the same ole thing and if you switch it up, it tricks the body into performing at its best.  This is why you see people talk about leg day vs arms.  It’s all in the switch up.
  4. Get good music.  Yes music is life.  After while even with the shuffle feature you have to be able to make multiple changes to your workout music to get in done.
  5. Wear tighter clothes when you work out even if you can’t wear tighter clothes in real life.  When I first started Weight Watchers they instructed or at least my coach told us to wear form-fitting or tighter clothes.  The reason, you see every lump and bump.  If that don’t motivate you, nothing will.  Wearing bigger clothes only makes you look that much more bigger.  You can’t hide under baggy clothes.  So for the first few weeks I looked horrible but I was out of the plus size clothes that were drowning me anyway.  After time of wearing the clothes got so big I almost lost my pants at work and had to make a make shift belt.  That gave me a boost that was unbelievable and I kept on going.
  6. Get an accountability partner.  Mine is my girl Kyla.  She is a beast when it comes to working out.  I hope to be like her when I grow up.  In all seriousness, she literally pushes me because as she posts her videos and we video chat each other it reinforces the idea that for me to push past an excuse.
  7. Get Consistent-make the choice to love yourself enough to do it.  It may seem small but do it.  You are important for you not to fit in clothes, not just to look better, but because the world needs less of you in a better way.  Every time I left my Weight Watchers meetings, my coach would say, see less of you next week.  It wasn’t encouraging us to not come, it was encouraging us to bring less of ourselves the next week.  The classes have ended but I still have another fitness coach that comes and weighs me weekly.  This accountability is crucial for me to maintain.
  8. Know you can build in cheat days.  This is good so you don’t diet.  I am not for full dieting.  I am for healthier lifestyle changes.  At this point I know how many points I am eating for most of my items but I also know that every now and again I got to eat a little something I enjoy but just in smaller portions.  I realized that some people will throw caution to the wind when they have cheat days.  You can have in moderation what you want.
  9. Start now-I will keep saying this but the time to start is now.  For me now it’s almost the end of my day, I have been eating the things I needed to but lets say I hadn’t.  At dinner I can control what I ate, start with that since that would be my next meal.  Not stop at McDonald’s on my way home, get fries and start tomorrow.  Just make a change now!
  10. Change what you have around you.  Eating healthy is expensive. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t.  I could get me a 4 for $4 and be in hamburger heaven at Wendy’s but to go to Fresh Grocer and spend 20 on fresh veggies, fruit, etc.  I am always having to buy more to get more out of what I eat.  However the benefits out weights my debit card swipes.  If I add up my Starbucks trips over the years I could have been in model shape by now.
  11. Cut the excuse.  I can say its easier for me to work out during my lunch time because my gym is attached to my job.  However when that wasn’t an option I could use YouTube or my kids as weights.  Yes, you have to be creative but if you want to look different from its time to get moving and make it count. So if that means waiting for your family to go down to get down and get that work out in, do it.  If that means getting up at the crack of dawn, get it done.  Especially for those making excuses before the Winter comes.  All this fresh Fall air and not one workout will be done and then Winter comes and it’s too cold.  You will always have an excuse if that’s all you accept from yourself.  It’s too cold, too hot, your too tired, you don’t have time, you need a partner, you can’t do some of the workouts, you are too big, can’t do big gyms, can’t do little gyms, how about accepting that the only word that is lost in translation is YOU.  You can be your biggest cheerleader or your biggest hinderance.  Choose wisely

 

SO today, right now, make a decision. It only takes one step towards bigger steps.  It takes some moving things around but you can do it.  The sad part is if you learned how to eat better even if you didn’t work out, you would lose the weight you wanted to.  I mean not just changing a few things in your diet, but literally controlling how much or what you put in your mouth would change your life. I mean that in all ways….. Change RIGHT NOW!!

Image result for diet guilt

Menopause Woes

As many of you know, I had a full hysterectomy.  With that surgery it sent my body into menopause.   For the most part it has been bearable.  It has been 4 months since the surgery and I feel like I am just getting my body back.

So let me take some time to answer some questions that some readers have asked me regarding menopause:

  1. How long did the pain take to manage-I would say surgery wise that took about 3 weeks to heal.  This is the initial pain that anyone who has had any uterus surgery goes through.  It took about an additional 5 weeks to be able to move about without the pain being agitated during the healing process.
  2. Hot Flashes, are they controlled-I have to say I think not.  I even with the hormone therapy replacement the flashes occur several times a week.  It is annoying since before surgery I was a really cold person.  The flashes can be overwhelming.  I find myself stripping clothes off as soon as I get home.  When I am at work, I immediately need my fan or I am in the bathroom with cold water compresses.  However I will take it over bleeding every month.
  3. Sex after the fact was extremely hard in the beginning.  I waited a little longer than I was cleared.  It was painful and different.  I think now I am doing a lot better and feel like my drive hasn’t changed from before surgery, but to say it was just so freely a great experience after surgery would be lie.  Some women experience pan, dryness, and lose their desire to even have sex altogether.  Every woman is different.  Do not compare yourself to how you are reacting to another woman.
  4. Swelly belly-this is when no matter what you do, your body has told you how much you are doing is too much.  You still at times look like a woman who has had a fresh baby.  It’s annoying to say the least.  I have come to terms that this is apart of the process.  On days where my belly is normal, I celebrate with a great outfit.
  5. Mood Swings-they do exist but in my case I feel like its less than when I had a bunch of unruly hormones guiding me.  I think the combination of self-care and the even dose of hormones through the hormone replacement therapy patch which gives me a low dose over time has helped.  I have been better off emotionally.

Do I regret the surgery?

Absolutely not.  I am 100% on board with my decision.  For one physically I feel so much better.  I do not have to be on guard about if a period is going to come or not. I do not have to carry unnecessary clothes in case of an accident.  The lack of bleeding every month has decreased my previous diagnosis of anemia.  I will get my final results by end of the month, but the test I had a few months ago was already looking great.  I had already had my tubes tied before surgery so having more kids wasn’t in the cards.  My husband supported that decision and to be honest it was the most selfish giving decision I could give myself.  Shout out to the women who have had or will have the surgery or go through menopause naturally and unfortunately can’t or won’t experience motherhood.  I do not take that gift of motherhood lightly.  I do however love the fact that my sister in love is about to give me my baby fix this upcoming Spring.

I did what was best for my body.  I do not regret it for a second even with the worst flash, or tiredness or even the feeling of being overwhelmed comes over me and sometimes at the same time, I find myself taking a deep breath and thanking God that I am on the path of healing.

To other menopausal women both young and old who may be reading this thinking how much of a negative experience you may be going through, or think I may be going through, remember that every woman experiences this change in different ways. I could have healed faster than another, doesn’t make me normal and you weird.  What works for me may not work for you.  I would say that if you are going through menopause I would applaud you to find out what self-care looks like for you both before, during and especially afterwards.  Self care will refocus your thoughts as your body changes.  It’s like going through the awkward teenage phase all over again.  For some the changes in body odor, lost of hair or increase of hair, change in libido, lack of a period, or feeling like your body is experiencing a death from lack of having children even if children was never on your radar are all real experiences. How you navigate through will depend on you.  Do not allow anyone to push what you should do.  Always trust yourself and talk to your doctors.

One last thing is that going through menopause has made me realize that I can’t take my body for granted.  This is why I try to be mindful of if I am doing the things that I need to keep my body at the best shape of my life.

Menopause is a phase of life that women go through regardless if it’s naturally or surgically induced know my fellow women I am with you and I understand.

Emotional Wellness Month

There are so many things going on.  Look on the “What’s Coming Up” section on this site for all of the month observances.  With the shocking Las Vegas shooting that took place October 2, 2017 it is more important for us to develop some sense of emotional health.

Emotional health doesn’t always mean that your life is in order.  Most times it may be the exact opposite.  However in order to have your wits about you, you have to take time to get your emotions in check in order to proceed with your goals.  So how does one get their emotional wellness in order?  Here are a few ideas on how to maintain good emotional health:

  1. Know what your triggers are.  Triggers are things that automatically send you into a tail spin.  These triggers can come from loved ones, yourself, or strangers.  They are words that are said, vibes that are given, and actions that take place that make gets you all kinds of upset or off your game.  Know them and try your hardest to avoid them.
  2. Watch your company.  Sometimes its in our company that we end up finding ourselves in the worst situations.  Not everyone means you well.  Once you realize this it will not always be easy but it will be necessary to make sure that you weed out those who no longer serve the bigger picture in making sure you are healthy from the inside out.
  3. Watch how you talk?  Did you know that you can speak things into your life without even knowing it?  It’s true there is power in your tongue so be careful how you speak to yourself, you are listening. This morning I had the cutest outfit but because swelly belly came out today I was thinking oh no I look ugly, fat, etc I had to change how I felt and speak the correct words.  I do not need all of that negativity to follow me throughout the day.
  4. Say no-this is powerful.  The two letters in NO can make people back off and up.  If you are asked to do something that you will complain about later, than don’t do it.  It’s like someone asked you for a ride but you don’t want to.  You give them the ride in the thought of being nice, but others around you has to hear about how you didn’t want to, how they didn’t give gas, etc.  Saying no will not harm you or them. They will find another way.  You do not need to be the one who does everything for everyone.
  5. Take a time out-I say this with every self-care, self-love piece that I write but its true.  You need a time out to regroup and gather your thoughts.  There is something that will enlighten you when you learn to take some time to yourself.  This doesn’t mean it will be an entire day but if you can take it.  Sometimes it may be a few moments.  It reminds me of the times I have to lock my bathroom door to prevent my kids from just walking in.  Sometimes I am in there having a snack I don’t want to share, saying a do not kill prayer, or just reading a magazine without interruption.  Take a break.
  6. Turn off electronics.  I love my phone and laptop, but there are times I have to say no and not even engage.  The way social media works, it can bombard you at a moment’s notice.  A social media tune out is necessary to connect with others or those around you.

Your emotional health is just as important as your mental and physical health.  Having hurt and pain follow you and yet you are doing nothing about it makes no sense.  Tap out so you can tap in.  Go see a psychiatrist if you need it.  Go speak to an unbiased 3rd party if you need it.  Deal with past hurt and pain so you and the people in your present and future won’t have to deal with what you won’t heal.  Confront some things.  Sometimes we think things are no big deal but I know for experience, bottled pain is the worst pain.

Image result for emotional wellness month

I had a friend recently share about her failing marriage and the concept of loving safely.  People think that because your life from the outside looks perfect and you have things that you are in a lovingly safe environment. That could be furthest from the truth. Many hide from emotional abuse and do not speak up for themselves.  God forbid if you are being financially abused on top of that and this is why so many stay in situations because they see no way out.  Please make sure that you are loving safely.  Loving safely no matter who you are with, or what your life looks like.  Deal to heal.