Evaluate Your Life

I think doing check ins with yourself is important. It’s not just something you do when the New Year hits or on your birthday. A life check up and check in helps to reinforce your goals. T

So what do you do when you check in and discover your life is heading left and you are off task of completing your goals?

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You take a deep breath. You find out what caused you to lose focus. Was it not investing enough time into yourself. This happens more often than most people think. If you aren’t doing a monthly or even weekly check up you can find that on your lists of importance you are on the bottom. You can’t give to someone when you have nothing to give of yourself. Take the time to put you back on the top of your list and make your dreams come true.

What if you don’t have enough resources?

A lot of us don’t have enough resources. We simply are acquiring them as we go along. Join the crowd. End of day, you can still make things happen. If you work your plan and find hiccups, set some intentions. Research what you need and how others in your same position got them. If it worked for them it can work for you. The difference is when you don’t have resources you have to learn to make them. Ask a mom who has limited resources but her children have many needs. If she loves her kids, she gets up and makes it happen.

What if the list are long and overwhelming?

Take that list and put them into categories. What can you do right now? What will take time? List them in order of the time you think it will take to make it happen. Not all dreams if not most are build over night. You have to be doing the work and being consistent. Its like the stories of those who are looking for a job and interviewing. They may hear a thousand Nos until they get to that Yes. Be consistent and keep moving.

What if you lose hope?

Hope isn’t lost its just shifted. You have to be able to refocus yourself. How do you refocus yourself? Look at what you want. Is it something that no matter how many times you put it down, you keep coming back to it? Is it a passion that you feel on a daily basis. If you are at work is it always on your mind? This is where your hope is. Just because you laid your dream down, it didn’t die its crying out to you to pick it up. This is why you talk about it all the time. This is why the desire is burning so bright. It has a hold of you tighter than you have a hold on it. Tighten it up. Get back out there. Be ready for a few Nos. Be ready for times when you feel overwhelmed.

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Evaluating your life can be exhausting. It can be mentally draining. All you do is focus on what you don’t have, where you aren’t, the time wasted, etc. you will find it hard to keep going. Find the little victories along the way. Get back up, dust yourself. and get back into your life. Don’t quit on life, make your life happen. Even if that dream takes years as long as you keep moving you will get there. Everyday there is at least one more thing you can do to make your dream happen. If you aren’t doing something everyday than you aren’t working hard enough or smart enough. If you want to lose weight, everyday you should be drinking your water, increasing your exercise, substituting better food in place of bad food. This is daily. If you want to go to school, you need to prepare. Have you gone to the school of your choice and spoke to a counselor? Have you applied for grants online and in your community? Have you filled out the application? Are you working hard in the day to finance school? This is called an action plan. The part where you take your dreams from off the paper and push them into the atmosphere of action so you can see the reward!

 

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Moments of Frustration Day

Today is Moments of Frustration Day. We all have gotten frustrated or upset over something. The key is to not allow this temporary moment allow you to make permanent decisions. This means in your frustration where you are more inclined to speak out of turn, practice the art of dealing with your issues before you spew things onto others. The fallout could be more than you wanted to take on.

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Let me give you an example, a husband and wife have situation where life throws a curveball.  They are upset and frustrated. Instead of being mad and finding a solution or taking a temporary step back, they say things to one another that damage each other. They do this so often that one or both may think it was no big deal. Little do they know that one of them has reached their breaking point. So now they aren’t interesting in reconciling as if nothing happened. They aren’t willing to move past the words this time and now their marriage is in a long-term mess. Our words have life and death attached to them.

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Moment of frustration can happen over anything. It doesn’t have to be a person. It could a circumstance as well. Do not allow yourself to take that leap into negativity where you find yourself unable to get out. I know life is hard. I have had too many times when things have happened where some of the issues were out of my control and some  were a direct correlation of what I had put out into the universe. End of day, how you respond to it matters. You can’t always make an excuse and hope for forgiveness when you speak out of context or out of character. You may not always get that back in return. You can attempt to take a mental time out. This may mean walking away and addressing something later on when you have had time to cool down. This is necessary at times. Remember when you were a kid for those who had time outs?  Those were times to teach you to cool off and think about the situation at hand. Adults need them too. You need to keep your cool and not do something that can cause mental, emotional, or physical harm to themselves or others around you. Think in the moments of frustration if you would be okay after you have calmed down with the outcome of your decision.  If no, then stop! Don’t keep talking. Don’t keep pushing. Don’t keep the same response that will dig you further and further into potential trouble.

If you find that in moments of frustration you have crossed the line, ask for forgiveness. Find ways to eliminate the crossing of the line to begin with. For instance if something is being said or done that is triggering me, I am more prone to ask for a few minutes. I am an arguer by nature. However some arguments and hitting below the belt I find is not worth the pain and the apologies later. So I work on what I need in those active moments.  I hope you can do the same.

 

Ask Toi…..Marriage and Divorce Edition?

So its been a minute since I have openly answered my Ask Toi segment although I have privately given the asking party their answers.  Keep in mind that if you want to Ask Toi; please send your email to toitimeblog@gmail.com

I will answer your question and keep you completely anonymous.  Feel free to ask any question that you may want. If it’s about me or if you’re asking something about me or my family I reserve all rights not to answer.

Ask Toi: my husband wants a divorce but I want to work it out, how can I proceed?

Well there is this old saying that it takes two to tango and that is true in a marriage. It takes two people who are willing to do the work to make a marriage work.  We keep believing that this lovey dovey feeling is all we need to live on to sustain a marriage. Real life hits in marriage because you have a mirror up to you being reflected from your partner. They know all of your dark secrets. They know who you are offline and online.  They know the little things about you that make you tick or make them tick too.  However what makes folks stay? Some say its the willingness and knowing that no one is perfect and that the flaws present isn’t enough to send them packing. If your husband wants a divorce has he given you a reason? If you say yes, than you know why he wants out and you know if its workable situation. You can ask him if he’s willing to go to a few counseling sessions prior to filling. Let me help you with some advice on counseling.

When you go if he’s willing to go, keep in mind that not only will this space give you answers its going to make you mad. You will hear all kinds of things being said. It may not stop the divorce. Let me repeat that, it may not stop your husband after counseling from filing for divorce.  Your objective is to listen and pour out. Sometimes it may give you closure.  Divorce is messy at times even when its amicable. Love hurts. However if you come to the conclusion that your husband is either unwilling to go to counseling, or once in counseling still wants a divorce, you can either fight him on it or give him what he wants. As a married woman this is a personal decision that my advice can’t give you. This is a battle within yourself and with him where you go from there. What I will say is there is life after divorce. I know that you can pull through it and gather yourself and make a great life for yourself with or without a husband. Don’t let this define you but know this is going to a bumpy ride. Also know some men or women say they want a divorce to inflict pain they aren’t willing to address with their partner. Please never use divorce as a way to punish but only use it if you are ready to go through it. Also be clear in who you let in during this time. Don’t speak on everything with everyone around you. They can’t push the decision one way or another. You do not need everyone in your ear influencing you. Be clear with your husband as much as you can. Start finding ways to practice some extra self-care. Regardless of how it goes, this is a hard hit to you and your emotions. I really hope things work out for you and his best interest.

Ask Toi: My Husband is different online than he is in real life? Its draining me and I don’t know what to do, how do I handle it? He is gone for days at a time and comes home with gifts….

Well just to let my readers know the wife stated that the husband appears to be super romantic online towards her but in real life he is the polar opposite.

Now that we got that little disclaimer out the way let’s proceed. We all want to put our best foot forward online. Online is a mix of real life with touches of filters. Some of those filters only filter pics and some of them distort who we really are. This is why it’s always to reverse the situation and show nice pics but be real so that your online and your offline can meet.  Your husband wanting the world to know that he loves you online but is distant in real life, can go days without speaking is an issue. I would suggest that you bring it to him. I would take him out where you can change the atmosphere. Tell him you are glad that he paints the relationship online as beautiful. Keep that in mind because your issues isn’t in what he puts online it’s what he does toward you offline.

Down right not talking for a week, or leaving the house for days as you suggested is disrespectful. No husband can just up and leave for days talking about he’s mad. His behavior is suggestive to say the least. I have a lot of married male friends and at no time has any of them rolled out for days at a time unless that wife and them were in a separated lifestyle. This leave and go where is my question? Cause if every time it gets hard, he runs is showing you he isn’t equipped to handle this and somebody got to be clear that they still want to be married. He is making himself appear that he’s doing more in the streets if nothing else leaving without being honest about his whereabouts. Nobody should have that type of relationship in a marriage. That is the type of thing, a boyfriend does not a husband.  He either wants his cake and eat it too or wants it to appear that way. I mean that is my being nice about it but in reality no man would think he could come home bearing gifts unless this has been how its been and you have accepted it. Just because you have before the only way to let him know that he can’t would be to show him better than you can tell him. I would talk to him about it and when he rolled out again I would have met with my attorney to draw up the paperwork for a legal separation. I would present it to him (ONLY IF I PLAN TO PULL THE TRIGGER). Please don’t this on a I hope that he won’t do it. Be prepared to file if you are serious. This whole thing of playing games has to stop with you. If you one of these women that like to bark with no bite, this plan isn’t for you. You can do the whole reason with him and plead with him until you are sick AND tired of this. Like my momma would tell me, you can be sick one day. Tired the next day, but when both sick and tired comes together for real, it evokes change in you.

How much are you worth?  If you are only worth some flowers and trinkets that’s what he is going to keep giving. If you are worth more than he can give by doing the right thing, than you do the right thing for you. It may mean that the loving husband online is going to have to be without you. Expect backlash. He has created an online persona of the supportive loving husband. Your peace is worth you leaving. There is not an ounce of you that should be more concerned over what folks outside of your marriage think while you take on the impact of his real life persona. You are stressed out, and in an unloving marriage. No woman is deserving of that treatment.  I pray you protection and love as you go through this. It’s time to get a plan and work that plan!

My Go To’s of Social Media

So you know that social media can be a blessing and a curse. If you are on it to compare your life you will immediately fall into a state of depression and that is something you do not want to do.  You really need to find your daily passions and inspiration. Since making dramatic changes in my life I find that I attract myself to those who are like-minded.  It is also allowing me to naturally cut off those who don’t fit that lifestyle.
Inspiration is all around us. It could be with a conversation as you are passing by. It could be in nature.  I don’t know how many times I have seen something go down and got completely inspired by a bird.  It’s true. You can be inspired by social media and a post. The post I love is anything where flaws are exposed but hope abounds. People are looking for hope because all around them they might be surrounded by hopeless people or even hopeless thoughts. This world is super shiny and pretty all the time but it can shed a little light to add some light to a dark soul. In reality that is what we are supposed to be.  When people see you, they should see light. It doesn’t mean they need to see perfection.  They need to see your try. They need to know they can quit a job that wasn’t serving them and go on to bigger and better. They need to see someone leaving a raggedy marriage and not settle and even if another relationship isn’t around the corner they still know they will be fine. They need to see that parenting is super hard and trying, but with grace they can make it.

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As a blogger I of course love social media because it allows me to put my blogs out, connect with others, and really see people doing their thing as they see me doing the same. You can have people or things that you like or that inspire you.   I have a little small listing of the things that inspire me.  From home improvements, to celebrations for my kids, anything self-care, and of course people who are doing their thing, failing I said that correctly, dusting themselves off and pushing through. Everything we see on social media has a back story to it.  With that being said I will give you 4 women I find inspiring and tell you why!

Amanda Seales

One because she “be knowing.” If you follow her I don’t even have to explain it.  She is a champion for the culture and she is about as real as it gets.  She rarely sugar coats things and you know that’s how I live my life. I love her ability to be herself and she doesn’t appear to care if you or me like her or not.  She is a jewel.  I love her happiness.   I love her passions. I love that Amanda is always pushing for people to take accountability. I hope that accountability doesn’t become a lost art.  We really need it.  She makes me check myself on all levels but especially where politics and culture is concerned. Like a mirror that constantly asks that nagging why.  Although she is not nagging she will make you think and correct yourself quick.  Amanda is like my big sis or that bomb friend who serves it straight but also is someone who can relate to you without judging everything you do. And she plays Tiffany on HBO’s Insecure.  I love her character. That losing your friends with motherhood episode was real! Amanda been in the game a long time. Check her credentials.  She really is about this life and about the culture.  She is the culture! Check out her podcasts, Small Doses and then follow her on social media you won’t be disappointed. Also if you are on Instagram and you follow her, always and I mean always catch her Instastories daily, Amanda Seales

Randi Rossario

She is the owner of the internet radio show, “Oh So Radio.” She has alot of things on her plate you really should check her out! She is super dope and I found her one day at work on break with her “Good Day” inspirational moments. You might have seen her recently on the Shaderoom’s post about her helping a couple who’s wedding was semi ruined due to their child nearly drowning at a pool party.  Well above her ability to help those in need, her “Good Day” inspirations really moves me. Now let me warn a few stuffy folks, this ain’t your momma’s inspirational moment but when I say no lies are ever detected, I mean it. She is super straight. You might not even want to accept the way she speaks but you can’t deny the truth that is coming out.  She is the real deal.  I try not to hit the “Good Day” moments every morning because when I do hit she always has the exact word for what I am dealing with.  She speaks on owning your stuff and stop allowing others control over what you do.  So if you are someone who lacks the ability to move forward, hit her Instagram.  You will get the good kick in the ass that you didn’t even know you need it.  But TRUST me you needed it!

Heather Lindsey

So I had to take a little break from Heather for a few months. It wasn’t anything personal but I just take a break from social media folks quite often.  Not only do I attempt to take breaks from it altogether during moments of life, I do encourage others to do the same. Heather Lindsey is a Christian who is also the wife of Cornelius Lindsey pastor of The Gathering Oasis church in Atlanta GA and a mother of 3.  I was directed by a friend to follow her. I went scrolling along to hear what she had to say.  She seems like a genuinely down to earth person who for one will let you know she loves the Lord, she loves her family, and she loves life. I love the way she takes care of herself. That is what caught my eye.  Now I know it would be a thing to say why in the world would you be worried about what she is wearing. It was more than her outfit choices although let’s be clear they are super dope. I followed her at a time when I was struggling from looking like a whole mess calling myself a wife and mother.  Now there’s nothing wrong with struggling but apart of my struggle was saying how I wanted to get me together and yet I did nothing to achieve that goal.  She was so well put together that she challenged me to have balance.  I needed that. I still push for that.  Balance is more attractive than how much the pieces you have on cost.  So for that, she inspires me get it together. I am sure she like we all do have super stressful days.  But she travels by herself at times, travels with her husband, dates him often on date days and date nights, goes on girls trips, baecations, and runs a whole business with the Pinky Promise.  That’s the type of balance that is encouraging to women no matter your background.  Check out Heather Lindsey

I know a lot of folks that are in the church struggle with the ability of loving the Lord and still looking like the promises God said was for you.  I grew up in a church where most folks was looking wayward.  I know that can’t be the promise that God gave to the world.  How can we reach folks looking like “Le’ Struggle” everyday.  I mean everyday maybe, but not everyday.

Jenell B Stewart

She is like the all around mommy mogul.  I know we give credit to all of the other mommy moguls who seem to have like millions of followers but this queen is one to be on the look out for. First of all as an African-American woman it’s always to see chocolate loves that mirror me or my kids.  She is a lifestyle blogger, a mom, she has a podcasts, teaches lessons on things from growing social media, to balancing life.  I love and stay glued to her InstaStories.  She is just a mom who tries to have it all and do it all.  You know that is possible, right?  Yes.  I found her quite a little while ago and she had me hooked from the first video.  A few key reasons why I follow her, her page is eye-catching.  Please check out her website

It is like everything you need in one strong dose.  Her Instagram is relatable.  With me changing my lifestyle to be healthier a lot of the products that she uses or endorses I have tried and loved.  Andddddd I don’t know how much her whole family is into the healthier lifestyle but mine are taking way smaller doses than I would like.  I like that I can be encouraged that if I alone stick to this lifestyle I at least have someone who is doing it with me in my head!!

Now with these super beautiful women in their own right, I do not even have the slightest energy to be them.  For one like Heather always says, their portion is for them and mine is for me. I do not know what they did to acquire the lifestyle that they have.  However what I will say is that with my portion, I am finding that I am able to do what I need to do for me and be inspired to be the best version of myself because I am just as dope as these women.  However we all need a little nudge in a few departments.  So whether that’s in how you press on, how you take in the culture around you, to be being balanced or living healthy, choose wisely who you link your aspirations too.  They speak volumes of who you are in real life. Check out these beauties and I am sure you will snag a jewel or two from them.  My hope is since Heather has the Pinky Conference is to get to one if not this year, at least next year.  In my head, I am going to meet Amanda.  I hope to keep being inspired by Jenell and Randi and maybe one day meet them as well.

Wife Appreciation Day

It’s wife appreciation day! So shout out to all the wives!  If you are married and love being a wife today is your day.  Now before the husbands get up in arms, your day will come.  But today is about the wives!

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Don’t need a Special Day

If more people would be consistent in the love they gave each other than maybe that can be said.  If you are a husband and you are mad at days like today, ask yourself a few questions.  When was the last time you gave your wife flowers just because?  When was the last time you took her out?  Did you offer to cook a meal this week? How about rub her feet? Did you allow her some me time just to refuel?  If you haven’t done one of more of those things this week, Houston we have a problem.  Showering your loved one with attention when things are great is easy.  Showing love in the little things when an argument occurs, when the bills are stressing, when life throws a curb ball, isn’t as easy!  It takes looking at the friendship you and your wife made to push through.

Little Ways to Show Appreciation Today:

  • Look your wife in her eyes and tell her you love her
  • Give her a break today-no cooking, no cleaning
  • Give her a gift card to her favorite place
  • Flowers
  • Complete a few items on the honey do list
  • Run her a bath
  • Let her watch her favorite shows
  • Take her to get her favorite treat
  • Write her a hand written note
  • Hold her hand
  • Take her on a date
  • Offer a massage
  • Play your “song” and dance in the living room
  • Play a game
  • Mani/Pedi at the salon
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There are a million ways that you can show the number wife that you love the ways she has turned your house into a home, how she supports you when the chips are down, loves on your children, keeps herself cute, gives you time to be you, and supports your endeavors.  Matter of fact, don’t do one thing, do a few! Smile hard, and let the love and energy flow.  Like they say, “keep that same energy!”  Keep it from the time you stood and made vows.  The same energy you had when you honeymooned.  The same energy as she was sick and you prayed for God to spare her life.  The same energy as she supported you through hard times and showed how awesome of a friend and wife she was.  The same energy when she dressed nice for you.  Keep the same energy and let the love flow from one another.  Take this day to show that love and then use the same energy to show the same love daily.  Happy Wife Appreciation Day!

Fizzle Chronicles

Oh love you are amazing! You give me goosebumps! You make me feel like I can do anything! Ever have that feeling? It’s amazing isn’t it?! However if you really been in love with the right one you know there are times when things can go left and quick! So how do you deal with the fizzle of love?!

What’s love got to do with it?

I think one of the many faces of love is work. We have been conditioned from society and movies that a man finds a woman and they live happily ever. So sweet! What we know is that happily ever comes from two happy, sound and whole individuals who arrive at a balance and work together. Love is amazing but without keeping it balanced will lead to this false sense of what love looks like. This can be super damaging.

Love stories vs Real Life

When I first got married I had every intention of having anything and everything say wife. Wife shirts, wife socks, cups anything. I was going to wear lingerie at least 3 days a week and make extravagant meals. Oh how television can be a real drag when real life hits! Can you do all of those things yes you can but keeping it spicy means getting spice and being realistic. I definitely didn’t meet that expectation I put on myself in our first year! However truth moment: I didn’t put any effort at all. So between being a sex kitten and sleep deprived there is a happy medium.

Celebrate the Moments

When I first got married I asked seasoned married folks what they did to survive. I got all kinds of answers but the one that stuck with me the most was celebrating moments. I talked to my husband and we decided to incorporate that in our own marriage. So we celebrate man-made holidays, our own fun and we celebrate each other’s successes and laugh and cry together at our failures. So that may mean a glass of wine for landing a new client, to celebrating each other individual success such as when I hit 1000 followers on Twitter for the blog. Every little thing is celebrated as much as possible. This keeps things light even in the dark days that come and go! The way you celebrate can be super small from a favorite treat to a great day night.

Women can plan date nights

My husband is A1 on dates. That’s always been his thing! From our first date to the most reason he knows how to plan a night for two. As I’ve gotten more secure in my own skin, I’ve stepped up to the plate. This means planning and organizing dates from the sitter to the drop off. I definitely feel like a boss when that check comes to me and I can happily pay for it! I also just like he does me make sure he knows he got to put out at the end! It’s fun! It’s fun planning and watching him enjoy a night just like he does for me!

Sex

We all know the one area that love can fizzle and that’s in the area of sex. I don’t know about you but whether married or not if I’m in a committed relationship, sex is happening. There are a millions reasons as to why sex becomes an issue. The solution is connecting outside of the bedroom so it can be lights out in the bedroom. If your partner isn’t getting what they need outside of the bedroom then the couple AND individual have to do their part to set it straight. Ladies I get it, but don’t let that man suffer in the bedroom because you and him aren’t willing to do the work outside and same for the men!

It Takes Two

Thanks to Rob Base we know a lot of things takes two and it definitely takes two to make a thing go right! Two individuals bear the responsibility in their individual and coupled success. Work needs to be done! Fizzles happen the most when you take your eyes off of the balance in life. Kids are a handful, work can be draining, and life well it can suck! However you have the power to balance yourself and balance the love you and your sweetheart have made!

Take the time to focus on the fizzle and spark it back up! You owe it to each other!!

Anniversary Behavior: The What If’s

So this is going to be obviously from my perspective but in reality all relationships have doubt. Even if the love is on a thousand there is doubt. Doubt comes in many forms and pops up at different times but one thing I can say is I never doubted if I should marry Marques. I’ve always known it and told him when we first got together. However when life didn’t give me my perfect love potion I had to work on myself until we came back together.

College Sweethearts

Oh to fall in love like I did in 1999 should have been my first clue that this wasn’t going to be an easy match. I was happy to be away from my parents and just broken up with my high school sweetheart. In my head I just believed I would keep him on ice, conquer my first year and party like a rockstar. I had big plans! Then I saw this 6 foot something man who caught my eye and made me laugh. Initially I thought how cute is he but……I got big plans. I wasn’t interested in dating him alone so I secretly dated or attempted to date others. My thing was I had to keep within the Church or churchy realm so that was my small goal.

Nothing about Marques said church to me. It didn’t say heathen either but it said girl he could be the perfect middle ground. After some drama cause at that moment of my life I was about it, we finally made it official. He made me feel safe, he got me what I wanted, he loved me and loved on me, he took me to places I had never been and on a college budget trust I thought I was the ish back in the day! So once Love was established I definitely knew we would ride off into the college sunset. It didn’t happen and with some years and distance between us obviously we made it back to one another.

The proposal

I was semi blindsided by the proposal. I told him that he had to either ish or get off the pot. I mean we had history, a new baby between us and real responsibilities. I think we broke up for one weekend and I knew we couldn’t keep playing these college games with grown up responsibilities. What I didn’t know was he was planning to lock me down. So he entertained my conversations. After he asked I was in shock for a few days! I couldn’t believe it was actually happening.

The wedding

The wedding like anything in life didn’t go as planned. We had to go to plan B! Even at that moment I didn’t doubt the marriage. I know the few fleeting moments that came to mind thankfully I was in counseling for postpartum and my counselor was able to divide my issues. Has I not gone we wouldn’t have gotten married or we would have been further miserable. It’s no secret about my fight with postpartum and by the time we married we had two babies and the situation could have given Love and Hip Hop a rated G rating. Our lives were in a mess. We didn’t have a lot of answers. We had a lot of turmoil for us to weed out. However on August 2, 2012 with tears coming down we exchanged vows!

So now to the what if’s:

What if I had listened to my mind tell me that Marques was against me before we got married?!

What if I had allowed our living situation initially during marriage to cause us to go through a divorce?!

What if I listened to all of the folks’ whispers cause us to be more divided?

What if I had allowed myself to run like I had attempted to do several times??

What about job loses and financial strain?

What if?

Things are going to happen before and after the vows. What I know for sure now more than the first year is that both of us is doing the work. The work includes giving the other the love they need and not what we think they need. As much oneness that exists, we also have our own lives, friends and activities. I know now that hard times don’t last but the words and attitudes you give during those times will. Don’t be so quick to hit below the belt all the time. It takes more time to heal from what someone said in anger than any other hardship that may pop off.

So we are going to celebrate love this week and give the good, the bad and the beautiful!!

A few highlights from our 6 years of marriage and almost 20 years of friendship is:

Marques you have given me:

1. A family which includes our 3 children!

2. You worked hard to help me cross things off of my bucket list

3. When I make a list of ideas and things to do you help me complete them from Summer outings to Fall parties we as a family of 5 are always our own party

4. Helped me become financially sound even when I argued my way through. Making sure I’m strong financially independent doesn’t take away from what you have done, and continue to do

5. We still laugh at one another! Our little quirky conversations are everything

6. You allowed me to support you during the toughest times

7. You can always sense when something isn’t right and always remind me to pull back during times when I’m overwhelmed

8. We have balance now in how we do things together, apart, and as a family

9. It’s really you and me against the world

10. You remember the small things and always have even when I forget moments! You’re a rare jewel for that!!

Here’s to chapter 6!!