Increased Self Care

Who doesn’t love getting a mani/pedi? How about a salon trip? It feels amazing to pamper yourself or just continue your up keep. As much as these activities are awesome and can be forms of self-care, do not limit that to your only self-care. Increase self-care to those things that bring joy into your heart and life.  What about that hobby that brings the type of smile that can’t be wiped away?  What about making time with friends a priority? What about going back to school to accomplish a goal you left sitting? What about making time for rest and unplugging? We all need to dip deeper into self care now more than ever.

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When I hear older folks make complaints such as “what is this self-care business, we didn’t have that growing up,” it irks me. Those be the same women that have the most insecurities, the most hard battles in their spirit that have gone unchecked. When you know better you do better. Why aren’t you practicing it yourself or encouraging the younger generation to focus on their mental health just because no one encouraged you? You remember them lonely battles you fought? Remember that feeling of being overwhelmed? Why would you want another woman or man to go through that?  Even it made someone 5 seconds better, it’s worth it. Encourage and then practice it yourself. 2019 is about accountability and that is even in how we treat ourselves. We can’t expect anyone to treat us well when we treat ourselves badly. Think about it from head to toe. What are you doing to make you whole? If you are still eating, drinking, not working out, have a thousand bad habits that contribute to your body and mind’s demise, these things need to be worked out.

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Self care is about self-preservation.  It pulls you out of darkness and makes you alert. When you don’t practice self-care often times you are numb to things and people around you. It doesn’t stop bad things from coming but it can help you deal with it that much more. Think about the times you let yourself go mentally. You weren’t even ready for hits that life was about to throw. Self care is super important. I don’t care what you call it.  You can call it self-care, self-love, me time, whatever it is find it, be consistent, and then add some more. There is no such thing as too much self-care. That is impossible. Having joy in this world is what keeps people from feeling hopeless. That hopeless feeling leads people into paths that don’t bring about positive results. People need hope. Joy isn’t about walking around with a smile 24/7.  It means that you have things in your life that bring you real happiness no matter what. Self care is about preserving peace in a world full of chaos. Self care is about loving yourself even when the world wants to make you feel unlovable. Self care doesn’t care what your status is in life. Self care is important. Please invest in yourself. Practice some more self-care!

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Checking in on Your Loved Ones

There is something to be said when you check in on your loved ones. Whether it’s a quick check in or a full on call and listen session we need to be proactive in doing more for each other. We are connected and we need to keep that connection as strong as it possibly can be. We need to do a better job on spreading love to everyone and even the ones we know well. We tend to give better compliments to strangers at times than we do to those we are around. Be the type of person that is nurturing to one another and attempt to find the good in your circle of loved ones.

So for that I am challenging all of my followers to do a quick check in. I know that often times we use text messages and we don’t talk on the actual phone, but it may be time to do a full on call. You can use text messages as a lead way but overall it would be good to hear a voice and be sure that your friends and family are truly okay. Its getting colder out and seasonal depression is real. Even the ones who you think is totally fine and there are no issues present could be fighting a silent fight.

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You would do yourself a disservice to ignore your loved ones in this season. So spend a little time and make it your business to reach out to a few folks over the next couple of weeks. Be sure that if you do that you ask open-ended questions too. Sometimes people will hit you with the yes and no and true interaction is engaging. Also keep in mind some people are private. Make sure the conversation and space is safe for them to open up and speak. Don’t judge what they have to say. Just be sure that you are truly inviting and be there. Some people don’t want a fix they just need to vent. I want to be able to look back and know that I attempted to be there for my friends and loved ones and I encourage you to do the same!!

Action Do Something

So let me just say that I have about had all I can take but I know that is not true because as time goes especially in the next day or so the complaints are going to take off.  I am referring to the swearing-in of Donald Trump, which artists or celebrities will be in attendance and even those who aren’t.  This is about the family and friends that are about to go into social media war…. Do Something!

Yes I said it.  There.  There will be countless of those who will have just about every complaint in the world but that will be where it stops.  You don’t like one of your celebrities or artist who is performing or going, than have an action plan.  One of the best ways is to stop following them on social media.  It’s like the Kardashian affect, people say they hate them but they have over 1 million followers a piece.  Yes some folks just follow to get the tea to someone’s life but you aren’t getting how that makes you the person look. You are literally watching a person you wouldn’t even otherwise care for and you aren’t even benefitting from it.  That is a sad part of life.  We ALL have better things to do than to allow the cycle to continue.  Although the media sometimes controls the images that are out, you personally can control what you take in.  I followed Chrisette Michelle an artist that has agreed to attend and sing at Donald Trump inauguration celebration.  Now whether or not I agree with her reasons or not, I sat and watched all the comments made and thought to myself, we have the power to evoke change.  The best way is in the pockets of any artist, socialite, etc.  They thrive on media interaction, and financial backings of their product.  It doesn’t just apply to this now political storm that has been brewing for quite some time now either.  This is a principle.

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If you have people in your own personal life that you don’t deal with don’t just block them on social media but block their access to your spirit and life.  I have done this and trust me the peace to just live and not worry about the foolishness is priceless. So before you go gangster social media arguing, just end it and cut you out of it.  I had a disagreement with a family member.  I found myself getting all upset and going back and forth via social media than I thought, what is the point?   Just stop it now and deal with them on a personal level if you need to and move on.  Or not and just keep on pushing.  We give our energy to do many things and wonder why we are zapped out.  Even in your emails, you can unsubscribe correct?  Unsubscribe in real life.  There is no need to have things and people pulling on you to the point where you are up in arms.  Will Donald Trump being in office cause issues even for those who supported him?  I am sure it will. Learn to deal with what is for you and leave the rest.  If you are going to make a stand I say go for it but do it with more leg work and action and a lot less mouth.  We need a world of doers and not just good ideas alone. Protect your spirit and especially if you are a parent or help in the parenting of your children.

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Soul Cycle, 2nd Coming…

So if you follow me on Instagram (ToiTimeblog) then you know that I have increased my healthy living incentive.  I have been working hard and thus far I have lost over 20 pounds since I began over 6 months ago.  How I started was simple.  At my job they push fitness and health.  I was weighed by a health professional and to my surprise I had hit a little over 190.  I was embarrassed, hurt, and blindsided.  Clothes can lie, but numbers don’t.  After picking up my pride, I was determined to be better.  I didn’t set out to be perfect but better.  Trust me, numbers can make you either slow slide into a woe is me or it can make you get up and do something about it. I choose to do the latter.

A few months ago, I was introduced to Soul Cycle which is an intense cycling class.   I had said for months even years how I wanted to take this class.  I had seen other classes like it and immediately wanted to participate.  You can read up on my 1st adventure, Soul Cycle Survivor.  This time around I still didn’t feel as if I was a pro.  I felt like my stamina had increased.  I was able to have my butt hit the sit instead of sitting in the seat.  I’ve said it before, that class is intense.  I was however able to get my shoes off the bike without help.  The first class I took with Ryan and this time I took it with Alexis Rose.  Both were very energetic, fun, and gave a hell of a workout.  Alexis’ ability to speak positivity was super refreshing.  The ability to be able to remind everyone that not only for the class but after that the biggest battle isn’t physical but mental.  That is the message I will take with me during the week and beyond.

Some of the things that I have done well in regards to my health journey is drinking more water.  I have spoken many times about my love/hate relationship with water.  I think that with working out more has helped me get over the water issue fast.  There is no way to lose weight without drinking water and staying hydrated.  Another plus during this journey is my newest planner.   It has helped me to keep focus.  It has been a life saver.  It allows me to be clear about goals, as well as allows me to use my need for visualization and organization in one beautiful place.

As I continue this journey I will highlight more for you.  My hope is that others will join me.  I hope that others can see regular people taking their health important.  I want to shed the “baby weight.”  By baby weight since my almost 3-year-old is no longer a baby, is my “girl, you need to do better” weight.  This isn’t a perfect journey.  This is a human, make mistakes, love yourself, get mad at yourself, but keep on going journey.  So until I reach my newest goal of going down one more clothing size by my 36th birthday, here’s to more healthy options, an active lifestyle, and being happy in my skin.

 

The Thanksgiving Rush

So I am usually one for celebrating the holidays.  However my days have been super long and I just realized that Thanksgiving is the next week.  We have so much to do with closing out some of the items from my mother in law’s passing that I haven’t really tapped in. Normally his mother would cook until she got to the point where she couldn’t and my husband’s uncle would do all the cooking.  I haven’t heard word on whether or not he will be resuming things so my husband and I will just cook something at home and enjoy our little family. Now if the uncle decides at the last minute to cook, I will still prepare a meal at home because that’s how I grew up.  My mother didn’t care whose house we went to she made her own dinner that way we would always have something to enjoy for later. Remember you can’t go to folks house trying to take leftovers for the week and when you barely lucky to get a plate.

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So either way I find myself focusing on the big day.  I know we are to be thankful for everything all the time and trust me I am but the anxiety of trying to pull a menu together is a bit much right now but I know I will do just fine.  So with that being said I had to dust off a few of my recipes and start my master Thanksgiving list.  You know that no matter what happens somebody will be hitting that grocery store the day before.  I am trying to be one less of those folks.  I will be going this week before the weekend.  I have a lot of events this upcoming weekend on top of some extra cleaning in my own home that I need to work on as well.

So how will I get through? I will try to pre-prep as much of the items I can.  This weekend I will be getting my cookie dough all together.  Mind you I usually do this in the beginning of November but I didn’t have enough time.  Preparing the food that I can earlier such as cutting up ingredients, etc will save me time and stress.  I will start making things on Wednesday.  I am off super early so without the little people in the way I can get one or more items in the oven.  Another way is to have some fun.  My kids love helping me and I will be letting them in the kitchen.  Music will be there as well to get me through.  Not to mention with Thanksgiving means I can start decorating for Christmas and I really do look forward to it.  A little adult juice will be had as well.  So a stop to the state store to get me some wine is in order.  The holidays as stressful as they are at times depending on the situation.  There are some who have no one to spend it with.  A lot of people miss significant members of their family. This year it will be my mother in law and my great-grandmother.  This is the time to call and check up on everyone.  This can be such a low time for some of our neighbors or even the elderly.  If you have a sick member in your community if you don’t want to invite them over pack them up some good treats that they can enjoy.

Call a friend whom you haven’t spoken to in a while.  I know we are an Instagram, text, snap world but people’s voices are just as much important as being on social media.  Call a loved on whom you may have an issue with and work it out.  Let me just say for the disclaimer, since I have so many family and friends that read this I have nothing but peace for all.  I love the holidays and I think everyone should be together but I still also believe that you don’t have to force your feet under other’s table to make a point.  Love is love and love don’t always mean forcing relationships to fit where they don’t fit.  You can however call and be cordial to your family members.

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Also to note, the holidays also start a lot of drama. So for the men and women that are juggling more than one man or woman and neither man or woman knows that they are being juggled, good luck.  You know how this works, whomever you spend your holidays with will feel like the main chick or boo.  You can’t be at the same place at the same time. For my single readers, enjoy your holiday.  I get it you don’t want to be alone but its better to be alone than sitting with the one that is eyeing your cousin and your mom.  I get it. Being single feels like it sucks but everybody in matching outfits and broken smiles ain’t happy.  Also back to families not all families are built like the Cosby’s.  So often times old things come out or things that shouldn’t have come out too.  Don’t mix so much alcohol at these events when you know Aunt Sue going to show her ass.  I mean that literally too.

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Take your time.  Try not to have so much hypness over the holidays.  Be gentle with others and remember the most important part, being thankful for the little or the much you were blessed with .

Safety First Halloween Edition

Well in this day and age this list I am about to bring to you really should and could be enforced all year-long.  There are way too many stories of people doing the most and you say to yourself and yourself says, Huh?!  Why?  Really its due to people losing it.  So for this Halloween season, let me help you stay safe.

  1. Stay off your phone as you are going to your car, or out trick or treating.  I am bad at this and have been trying to do better.  The reality is often times being on your cell makes you a target because we aren’t aware of our surroundings.  Think about when the Pokemon game came out.  People were crashing cars, falling off bridges, and running into parked cars because they were distracted.  If you are taking young kids out stay off your phone.Image result for get off your phone gif
  2. Turn your location off on your phone.  Do NOT live chat while you are out.  Why does others need to know your location and what you are doing.  You’re sending a message to anyone who wants to find you that you aren’t home.  I live the live feature for others I just don’t know how much I will use of it myself.
  3. Do NOT let your kids eat the candy until you checked it.  We know that unfortunately bad people exist.  It’s one of the reasons that I didn’t take my kids out in past years. Check for things like drugs, razors, pins, etc.  Especially with heroin on the rise there are some ugly people willing to let kids get sick to make them feel good.  Kids don’t know any better they love candy but be vigilant about protecting the little people who are in your care.
  4. If you choose to dress like a clown, may the force be with you.  Let me tell you now if you come in my neck of the woods I am not taking any chances. There is a greater chance that if you even make the slightest of advances to even scare my kids I am whoopin your ass.  Let’s just be clear on that right now.  I know my response was supposed to be that I should pray but sorry not sorry not today.  I will take a clown down so its best for you to pick another costume and stay in your lane.Image result for homey the clown gif
  5. Follow up to that is stay in your lane.  Leave families alone.  Let little kids enjoy this holiday.  Go to adult parties and act a fool but leave folks and their kids alone.  And let your older teens know the same.  I don’t care what age you are if you knock and I got candy I will give you some, but let’s be real knock and act a fool well we know how that will go.
  6. Makeup doesn’t have to be perfect.  It’s Halloween so some folks regular makeup with finally blend in for the occasion.  However try to get as close as to what you are trying to be.  No need to look like Elsa and you were really going for a pumpkin.
  7. Uber and Lyft are great means of transportation especially if you are going to be drinking and partying. Make sure that you pay attention to the car you are getting in.  I always tell others and send them the information as well so in case I don’t get to my destination they will know.  I know that with all of this technology it would appear that I wouldn’t have to do that, but I always am more safety conscience than anything.
  8. Know your limit.  This again is something that you should know all the time.  You shouldn’t have to drink to have a good time.  It should be you like your drinks.  So be very choosy on what you intake.  Do NOT drink to the point where you don’t know who you are or where you are.  Too many people sit and wait for you to be in this state to take advantage of you.Image result for know your limit gif
  9. If you feel uneasy about anything trust your gut.  Do NOT advance.  Sometimes things within you have more sense than you allow.  If if don’t feel right stop and retreat.
  10. Have fun, be safe, but be aware!!!

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