Love is….Misunderstanding

Whew! That’s all I got! It started off tonight in so much love! Then it dipped into the abyss of foolery and real quick.

End of day when you are in a relationship and one or both are unfulfilled it breeds problems. It don’t matter if you are a popsicle stick licker or a CEO of a company, being unfulfilled will damage you both! I’ve never believed that you can’t be with someone from different parts of the pond but make sure that your partner is on their way to finding their passion!

Let me take a moment to shout out Angela in owning her moment. Black women getting the chance to be in the “boys club”and be successful was unheard of! Nuri needed to focus on her career and choose. Choose between love and relationship. Sounds familiar?! Even now the tax to be a woman, mom, and a great employee or a business woman is always up for debate….

It’s undeniable when you finally get your moment the glow up is real! Nuri is shining but Yasir……

Sometimes Love is….Triggers

We think that once we find love that it’s so intoxicating but one part of intoxicating love is that it brings to the surface things that you try to repress. Love makes you address yourself. This is why even when you become a parent, this new love for your child can do the same thing.

Love triggered Nuri to address some dark parts of her past. It made her the most vulnerable with Yasir in a way she wasn’t prepared for. I can definitely understand that love. I know for myself when I met my husband back in 1999 being able to let my guard down was great, scary and unfortunately fortunately (yes I meant that) uncovering.

So understand that I would encourage a lot of singles to work on themselves more than just seeing the world, more than securing the bag, but taking the time to address mental, physical, and emotional issues as much as possible. This is the work that will continue throughout your love relationship. This is why you don’t want to interlink yourself with just anyone. Don’t give your vulnerability to just anyone who doesn’t have the ability to openly love on you but love you through………..

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Love is…A Reality Check

Momma can call your shit out like no one else. You can pretend for anyone but yo momma and this episode sweet Jesus didn’t come to play.

Man that don’t take care of his family….

One kudos to Nuri for making Yasir was accountable to his child. No one on this planet should ever be with a man who doesn’t take care of their child. Period! If you’re dating a man with a child and you aren’t helping him be a better man, and father you are trash. Men have to be better at being there for their own kids. I was always taught by my own momma a man who won’t take care of their child, won’t take care of anything in regards to you.

So let’s talk about the big blow up with Nuri, Destiny (Yasir baby mom) and Yasir:

Momma called a spade a spade. Although she is one who contributed to a fault with how Yasir ended up she was still willing and able to let Yasir know to knock it off and respect his child’s mother. Nothing is sicker to me than a mother who enables h r son then plays dumb when the ish goes left!!! Sorry but the reality is you know your son ain’t worth the dust on the ground either help him to be better but don’t cradle him in his mess. I can’t even respect a mom who does that. Thankfully Loretta Devine, held no punches and had me standing up like get him momma!

Destiny showed depth to her small role as Yasir’s son mother. The anger and the pain she portrayed. Listen when you see a woman who laid down and gave her all even in child-birth to a man and that man leaves for whatever reason; that pain is incomparable. It’s almost too strong for words. She is doing the work to give life to his dream while she slowly dies…. no wonder the anger we think we see in black women is misplaced. The weight of the world is sometimes too much.

Passion of Black Women

Listen, the hard work, long hours, etc are a lot. However after going into work and having to deal with stereotypes, and people being passed up, etc for a job that you can’t even be passionate about is something that WE know oh so well. Being told that as a woman you’re not good enough or you’re too much maybe next time, is debilitating. It’s hollow, senseless and numb that we can be the vision that a job needs and sometimes the favor of a department and still not be enough… whew the hypocrisy.

I was sooooooo happy to see that a project came up for Angela but the roles were so scarce in the 90s. All of this black girl magic and we are left to find ways to create in places that wasn’t made to hold our creativity?!

There may be more blogs from this one episode cause I plan to re watch it again!!

Love is….Making Room

So it’s another episode of Love Is. Let me say my recap is going to offend some but I’m not holding back.

Nuri and Yasir are getting super close and spending a lot of time together. They look like the perfect couple! However major red flags. As much as I love the realness of their relationship let me say, if I was in the dating world right now, I’m quite sure I would be in the sex store because my tolerance for some of this behavior I tolerated from the men I dated in my 20s could not and would not be tolerated now!

  • Yasir has a job! Thank the lord for employment. A man without a job is a hard pill to swallow. Only a woman who truly loves you will ride the unemployment rodeo but for so long!
  • Kudos to Nuri having the ability to support her man BUT ladies do not ever silence your voice to make your man feel like a man. He needs to be able to have his light next to yours without feeling a certain way! Period! This is not up for discussion!
  • Valentine’s Day foolery-Yasir doesn’t believe in it and Nuri does but like some women she muted that desire to make sure Yasir didn’t feel a certain way! This is a huge no no! Whatever you allow in the beginning and it’s not genuine you will lose in the end! Be honest with yourself and your new boo!
  • New love is great but lying in any way will lead down the wrong road!
  • Not all Hotep men, but some use intellect as the hustle. As articulate as Yasir is his demeanor is off putting. Not just based on my personal experiences, but be careful with any man who is a smooth talker. That smooth talk is the game. If a man is not sincere they will use that smooth talk to gain a place in your heart but will leave you lacking! Guard yourself!
  • Yasir thanks to Sean redeemed himself by making room, he finally found a way to come back to Nuri, and celebrate Valentine’s Day! Had Nuri been clear he would have had no choice to either shit or get off the pot! Relationships should be give and take and never one sided!
  • Yasir spent Valentine’s Day initially with Ruby! Technically he went home aka Ruby’s house and Ruby finally let Yasir know that she put the work into him and Nuri basically came in and reaped the benefits. Men are not projects if your man isn’t making moves it could be you are not the one he wants to make moves with. It’s sucks and maybe it hurts to hear but no truer words ever said! Stop investing years to a man who will not give you what you need. Yasir is making moves with Nuri because he loves Nuri! He was stagnant with Ruby because he no longer wanted to be!
  • Next week looks like an episode of Love and Hip Hop. So we shall see! Until then be careful with love, make sure that the person you are falling for is making room for you too!
  • Love is…Unbalanced

    Nuri and Yasir are getting hot and heavy. If ever there was the best part of a new relationship is when two people become sexually one. It’s invigorating and very intense. Love is a great thing but you don’t have to have an awesome love life, and suffer in your profession or vice versa. Also new love is good but don’t let it get you caught off guard:

    However let’s dive into a few things that set off a few alarms outside of the bedroom:

    • Porcelain Doll: it reminds me of Chrisette Michele’s Porcelain Doll song where she talks about how she is tired of doing the most for the man such as dressing for him the way he wants just because… My own husband has his preferences and I would be lying if I would say I don’t indulge them here and there but a doll I am not! That wear this and that especially where Nuri isn’t comfortable in pulling it off is a red flag for me! If the person you are with makes suggestions and you are comfortable than by all means but don’t play these games with no man and compromise yourself
    • Friendship- this principle where friends do whatever without a thought of how actions matter has to stop. Although Angela isn’t wrong in getting the script how she handled the situation was off base. You know when you have said or done something wrong to your friend. Don’t throw salt in the fire by playing it cool as if you’re not aware of the pain that you have caused.
    • Early 90s the notion that gay men or down low men are riddled with HIV or AIDS was a real thing in the way people thought. There are a few that still think that today. Please educate yourself in knowing that it’s up to you to protect yourself. If you know a man who is on the down low confront that man without giving him an opportunity to out himself. We all need to know our status no matter our sexual orientation and married or single get tested. Be vigilant about your sexual health. Oh and men gay or not and women too who are sexually active run the risk of having a STD!
    • So we all know Yasir doesn’t have a job but….. the availability of being at Nuri side every other second, is a bit much for me. I remember being in college when I dated my boyfriend who is my now husband and missing classes, ditching work, skipping out on events just to be with one another. It was cute. However the best part of our relationship has been when we both had had our own identities and then came together. Although this works for Nuri and Yasir for now if you have a new love make yourself get some balance.
    • Yasir has seen Nuri in a funk. He calls a spade a spade and she is relentless to hear him. She was able to hold her position for quite some time and that’s called holding a grudge. Some can do it better than others but Yasir hit it on the head by giving her the advice she needed instead of what she wanted to hear. Vulnerability isn’t always easy to take in.
  • This is the week of unbalance and hopefully the balance is coming but by the looks of next week’s episode, I’m not too sure!
  • Love is…Intense

    Tonight was on one. As I always like for you to go back and rewatch, these are my thoughts and reactions:

    • Nuri knew damn well she shouldn’t have gone on that ski trip. Keith wanted to hit. Men ain’t inviting you to read scripture. It’s definitely understood. And before you hit me with the whole women don’t have to give it up we know that already. It’s just not the first thing that comes to mind
    • When Keith gave Nuri that Keith’s girl sweater, I literally died on the inside. Nuri wearing that sweater was a sign of when women settle.
    • Spoiler alert: Keith confesses to being gay. There is nothing wrong with choosing a life that you want, but back in this time it was even more taboo to “come out.” But let me say I wasn’t ready but I wasn’t surprised
    • Angela told Nuri right, never put another woman in a position to be fighting etc over a man. Nuri feels so desperate that she’s willing to “call” Yasir but let’s not forget he has a “roommate.”
    • Keith who by the way was high and drinking now wants to back peddle his gay confession. Let me help a few folks out, two people who don’t lie and that’s children and a drunk! Keith meant that and wants Nuri as his beard!
    • Angela is that friend you need. I’m more than willing to do what I can but I accept gift cards too
    • Yasir reminds Nuri that he made space for her and it’s true! Nuri I’m true fashion hit him in the one area he has a deficit in and that’s his lack of employment
    • Nuri goes to the place where Yasir and Rubi share but handles herself in a classy way
    • The end, all I’m saying is Janet Jackson got some definite sexy hits. I’m about to hit up Amazon prime for bulk candles, and a soft rug!
  • Well until next time, just know that the ups and downs of love is worth it for the one that is for you. Love isn’t always as clean as we want it to be! It’s definitely worth it!!
  • Love Is…petty! Episode 4

    Whew love is….super complicated and petty. There were a lot of take aways from tonight’s episode.

    Love has a lot of gray. We think love is a clean break however beautifully marred keep in mind this was meant to be. Since it was meant to be, timing was off but super on. Each miss and messy moment was in line to unlock their destiny. Cue in the violins but don’t let it put the pause button. Yasir shut the door on Nuri’s face so that his ex wouldn’t know what was going on. As much as he loved Nuri he needed to protect Ruby because well loyalty! There are a lot of red signs that will need to be explored:

    • If you get invited for a weekend getaway, please understand it most likely ain’t for scripture reading. They want the drawls. Nuri’s inability to see this is interesting.
    • Yasir wanted Nuri to see his potential. It’s hard because little girls are taught to not trust in potential. Potential is not enough to make a relationship last. However what Nuri doesn’t know is Yasir is putting in work. His intentions are for her as he cuts ties with his ex, Ruby.
    • Cut ties and learn that guilt is not enough to keep an old relationship solid. Ruby is holding onto the old Yasir and the life she once thought she has and Yasir feels the need to be loyal to the loyalty she has already demonstrated.
    • Women have so much to give to this world more than just the life that we already give. Back in the 90s women were seen and not heard. We are making more waves now but still have to contend with the boys club. We will not be silenced and our opinions will be heard and implemented.
    • Men you can’t keep using women and in addition to that do whatever you want to them by relying on the price of their loyalty. Ladies don’t let them. Give loyalty to whom it’s earned! The worst side to be on with a woman is when she awakens from her mental and emotional sleep and discover you have been playing games.
    • Nuri is attempting to move on and therefore has found herself in deep water with her more stable work boo and is now caught and headed to that ski trip. Yasir played it cool by allowing her to do as she pleases.

    Next week will be interesting to say the least! How will Nuri turn the tide between her and Yasir?! What lessons will need to be learned?!

    The Disconnect is Real: Love is Episode 3

    Love is complicated. I think watching Love is tonight may be the first time I’ve ever really understood the concept. By concept I mean when people have the its complicated status on social media. However I will say Yasir is not the norm and most men I wouldn’t give this fleeting chance. I could not hold onto or entertain the Yasir I came in contact with in my 20s.

    Let me go to my own personal encounter with my own ex Yasir. Of course to be super clear this was light years ago but my own Yasir was separating from his ex and like Yasir was super loyal even to this day I imagine the same to be true. We would have these invigorating dates. These world talks. These moments when you just fall in that deep love or at least a strong like. Yasir like my old Yasir never was super clear. I didn’t understand his plight until I had ended things just how displaced he was. What I will say is that I do believe there is a small amount of good Yasirs out there. I think it takes patience to unravel them AND there will be a lot of women like Nuri who probably gave their own Yasir a chance, stopped short of fully committing and then found another woman come behind and reap the benefits.

    I personally didn’t have the mindset to entertain my own Yasir. My Yasir wasn’t as forthcoming and I didn’t see the honesty or the value in pushing past the alerts. Even though I couldn’t get him off my mind and thought man he’s so mysterious, the reality as time as already told, he wasn’t the one for me. I’m not made for a Yasir. As lovable and real as this particular love story is, let’s not forget that Yasir came with work and more work than most of us are willing to give.

    Here are my take aways from tonight’s episode:

    • Yasir is definitely attempting to stay true to his beliefs
    • Nuri should have asked certain questions off the bat and she let the warm and fuzzy feelings of love overtake the situation
    • Nuri isn’t perfect. They highlighted Yasir as Nuri past is shifted in the background
    • Yasir is a loyal person and above all who you date, be friends first

    They are about to finally get into the gritty part of their pasts and how to make these pasts mesh. We always think that it’s a clean break but like Common said in the song, Come Close:

    Put down your bags love

    I know in the past love

    Has been sort of hard in you

    But I see the God in you

    I just want to nurture it

    Though this love may hurt a bit

    We dealing wit this water love

    You even give my daughter love

    I want to build a tribe wit you

    Protect and provide for you

    Truth is I can’t hide from you

    The pimp in me

    May have to die with you

    Come close

    Let’s continue to watch this beautiful mess unfold!!