Love Is…petty! Episode 4

Whew love is….super complicated and petty. There were a lot of take aways from tonight’s episode.

Love has a lot of gray. We think love is a clean break however beautifully marred keep in mind this was meant to be. Since it was meant to be, timing was off but super on. Each miss and messy moment was in line to unlock their destiny. Cue in the violins but don’t let it put the pause button. Yasir shut the door on Nuri’s face so that his ex wouldn’t know what was going on. As much as he loved Nuri he needed to protect Ruby because well loyalty! There are a lot of red signs that will need to be explored:

  • If you get invited for a weekend getaway, please understand it most likely ain’t for scripture reading. They want the drawls. Nuri’s inability to see this is interesting.
  • Yasir wanted Nuri to see his potential. It’s hard because little girls are taught to not trust in potential. Potential is not enough to make a relationship last. However what Nuri doesn’t know is Yasir is putting in work. His intentions are for her as he cuts ties with his ex, Ruby.
  • Cut ties and learn that guilt is not enough to keep an old relationship solid. Ruby is holding onto the old Yasir and the life she once thought she has and Yasir feels the need to be loyal to the loyalty she has already demonstrated.
  • Women have so much to give to this world more than just the life that we already give. Back in the 90s women were seen and not heard. We are making more waves now but still have to contend with the boys club. We will not be silenced and our opinions will be heard and implemented.
  • Men you can’t keep using women and in addition to that do whatever you want to them by relying on the price of their loyalty. Ladies don’t let them. Give loyalty to whom it’s earned! The worst side to be on with a woman is when she awakens from her mental and emotional sleep and discover you have been playing games.
  • Nuri is attempting to move on and therefore has found herself in deep water with her more stable work boo and is now caught and headed to that ski trip. Yasir played it cool by allowing her to do as she pleases.

Next week will be interesting to say the least! How will Nuri turn the tide between her and Yasir?! What lessons will need to be learned?!

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The Disconnect is Real: Love is Episode 3

Love is complicated. I think watching Love is tonight may be the first time I’ve ever really understood the concept. By concept I mean when people have the its complicated status on social media. However I will say Yasir is not the norm and most men I wouldn’t give this fleeting chance. I could not hold onto or entertain the Yasir I came in contact with in my 20s.

Let me go to my own personal encounter with my own ex Yasir. Of course to be super clear this was light years ago but my own Yasir was separating from his ex and like Yasir was super loyal even to this day I imagine the same to be true. We would have these invigorating dates. These world talks. These moments when you just fall in that deep love or at least a strong like. Yasir like my old Yasir never was super clear. I didn’t understand his plight until I had ended things just how displaced he was. What I will say is that I do believe there is a small amount of good Yasirs out there. I think it takes patience to unravel them AND there will be a lot of women like Nuri who probably gave their own Yasir a chance, stopped short of fully committing and then found another woman come behind and reap the benefits.

I personally didn’t have the mindset to entertain my own Yasir. My Yasir wasn’t as forthcoming and I didn’t see the honesty or the value in pushing past the alerts. Even though I couldn’t get him off my mind and thought man he’s so mysterious, the reality as time as already told, he wasn’t the one for me. I’m not made for a Yasir. As lovable and real as this particular love story is, let’s not forget that Yasir came with work and more work than most of us are willing to give.

Here are my take aways from tonight’s episode:

  • Yasir is definitely attempting to stay true to his beliefs
  • Nuri should have asked certain questions off the bat and she let the warm and fuzzy feelings of love overtake the situation
  • Nuri isn’t perfect. They highlighted Yasir as Nuri past is shifted in the background
  • Yasir is a loyal person and above all who you date, be friends first

They are about to finally get into the gritty part of their pasts and how to make these pasts mesh. We always think that it’s a clean break but like Common said in the song, Come Close:

Put down your bags love

I know in the past love

Has been sort of hard in you

But I see the God in you

I just want to nurture it

Though this love may hurt a bit

We dealing wit this water love

You even give my daughter love

I want to build a tribe wit you

Protect and provide for you

Truth is I can’t hide from you

The pimp in me

May have to die with you

Come close

Let’s continue to watch this beautiful mess unfold!!

Love Is: To Concert or Not…

Lawd love is complicated. Love is super confusing and overwhelming. So in this episode there is a lot to talk about. I am not going to recap but I will talk about a few things that touched me.

Homeless and Trying

Men, don’t let Yasir and his homeless self out do you. I know you want to hit but on the surface nobody is above a do better. How is this homeless man with absolutely no resources out here finessing someone better than you?! Simple. He is focused and sincere. I used to have the mindset of not wanting to save a man. I dated a man who was a lot like Yasir. But I was too much a mix of Angela and not enough Nuri. I wasn’t committed to love or of loving him even though our moments of connections was semi intoxicating.

No Excuses

Depending on where you are in your relationship will determine where Yasir plays for you. For folks in the Ruby stage you may have done all you can and more only to keep coming up with nothing and finding yourself consumed with frustration. If your Nuri you may be enjoying the newness and finding that you’re not as adapt to the red flags.

Nuri has no idea the lengths to which Yasir is attempting to make a connection with her. He does all he can to establish it. For Ruby the excuses, the disconnect and lastly the point of no return are too much. Ruby knows she’s lost Yasir when not even her body is enough to sustain him. FYI that’s a word!! Hips and things can only hold a man but so long. So far Ruby isn’t fighting the disconnect too much longer. The operative word is so far….

When Real Goes too Far

You have to respect a friend who is honest. We need those friends in our lives to keep us grounded. Both Yasir and Nuri have good friends. I need to remind the keeping it real friend, the Angelas of the world to remember to keep it real but walk in discretion. You don’t have to play dumb for your friend but you can remember to be a friend that can be counted on and not as judgmental. Angela is trying to support Nuri and not jump the gun. She is practical and doesn’t bite her tongue but knows when to support. Nuri needed Angela not just to cover her for a night but to cover her with love and understanding.

Faith

I am not a Muslim. However I do respect that the show highlights his commitment to his faith in a positive light. Between that and this new budding love it’s the two things guiding him. I can’t wait to see how the two faith and love continues to merge.

Love and Work

Its a slippery slope to love or like where you work. I worked with a man and dated him and unlike Nuri it was intoxicating as grown people should be. Nuri has been leading this fake Netflix and Chill man astray. Falling in love where you work is not ideal. Love may not necessarily find you. So don’t cross that path if you aren’t willing to have one or the other compromised. Some people make it work but often times it doesn’t. Unlike Nuri and her fake work boo, Will working and love can not only go against company policy but can make interactions go left especially if “cookies” are even being negotiated.

So you go from Rubi and Yasir emotionally cutting it off to them also ending it physically to Yasir losing it all while figuring out if Nuri is everything he could ever imagine. Two worlds fusing together!

Do they go to the concert and start this dance full-time?! Catch it for yourself…

Love is…..First Take

Sooooo so much to unwrap. Let me say that I hate to be the one to ruin the first episode because maybe you wanted to watch it later. This show although you may read it on the blogs is worth your own watch. It can’t really be placed in a box although I will do my best to give you my first thoughts.

Messy

So my thoughts even though I watched the preview show is that it was messy but not in a ratchet way. No disrespect to any reality show. This was real but it wasn’t the man finds a woman, falls in love and then bam they run into issues, solve it and live-in bliss. This was based on two individuals, Nuri and Yasir who were already connected with other people and other energy coming together. Connected is code switch for they had other men and women they were already messing with!

A few nuggets Nuri, is connected to several men and at the same time. She is dating the way dating should be where you juggle but you don’t have to give up and the goods. This was super refreshing. Most times women are told that this is taboo but Nuri is doing what she wants. She has a mother who supports her and encourages her to do what she will until she is ready to settle down. Nuri’s mom walks in on Nuri while she’s laid up with one of her work boos. She’s better than me. Say what you will but as a grown woman I’m not about to be dry humping a man who I’m dating! This might be why I have 3 kids?! 🤷🏾‍♀️. Momma as encouraging as she was needed to have her key taken since she came in that house while Nuri was laid up and spills the tea and gets all in their sexual or lack of sexual relationship. The only issue I had was with Nuri wasn’t that she was messing with too many men but that some of them was one of her work buddies. Dating a man where you work can be an issue and super delicate. It’s not for everyone. I too dated a man at work back in the day and talk about super slippery slope?! Don’t do it!

Nuri meets Yasir while at a bookstore by Yasir’s friend who first found Nuri attractive. They go their separate ways until one year later they meet up at the exact bookstore. Timing is everything and the reality is that everything that Yasir is everything a mother would have taught her daughter not to fool with. Like my mom Yasir got too many “ain’t gots.” He is literally walking around in his drawls. He ain’t got nothing but a dream and most women aren’t willing to unpack that type of baggage. We are conditioned to keep it moving and avoid the Yasirs of the world. I think that is good advice except when the connections is this strong and you try to make it work. I want to see how this dynamic alone continues.

Nuri on the other hand seemingly has her stuff together. So how this breaks down will be interesting. Both Nuri and Yasir do have amazing mothers. I’ve already touched on Nuri’s mom but Yasir’s mom is equally a force to be reckoned with. Immediately I didn’t get mama’s boy vibes but the love that most mama’s boys are known to share she gives him that without overstepping. She lets Yasir know that he’s going to have to keep working hard and that she believes in him and his dreams.

Timing

As I stated above their timing couldn’t be more off but so magically right. Yasir is living with his live in girlfriend and baby mom Ruby. He gives Nuri his number to the house and this was before cell phones and even so if they had been out he was too broke to have one. Nuri calls the house. Wait!! What?! Yes. Listen please inject every black woman clap because no way you can call the house for someone’s man and then said man leaves the house and comes back home at 4am and live to tell your story! Not a one!!!! So I knew at that moment Yasir was going to be put out and that it would not end well.

There are a lot of deep things to unroll such as statements about light-skinned women and long hair and God forbid they cut it. Men and their standard of beauty. It is definitely brought up. This thought process of beauty and what is acceptable I will definitely unravel as time goes on.

Love is Highlights I Related to

  • The newness of love when you talk for hours and loss concept of time is so magical. Just that heightened sense of new love is nostalgic
  • Having conversations with your girlfriends trying to get clarification only to turn around and do what you want or feels is right for you is something most have been through
  • Trying to figure out dating and feeling lost in the sauce
  • Realizing in dating and in life that what you make time for is where you are
  • Love can be a saving grace

So this is legit a surface reaction to the new series Love is. As this series continues there will be many more moments. I will say that the story is relatable and has real moments that if you just live or have lived a little you can find yourself in.

Can we shout out the playlists and shout out to those 90 classics television shows and music?! Downloads will be up tonight! To help you here is the playlist to Love is on your favorite stream:

Love is weekly playlist

Also I said I would live tweet so to my surprise I would get a reply by Will Catlett who is none other than Yasir himself!! Night made!!

So if you haven’t watched it. Watch it! Let me know what you thought and of course stay with me as I will be live tweeting each episode! It’s that good so trust me you won’t be disappointed!!

Love is…..you fill in the blanks weekly by tuning into Own on Tuesdays at 10/9c