Sunday Message: Moving Slowly

There are many weekends when I move like super fast.  I am on point and getting things done seem like a breeze. Then there are those times when I feel out of place, out of water, and quite frankly there are times when things don’t get done, and I feel overwhelmed.  You have to understand that when you have things moving slowly around you that its not going to take over you.  You will eventually get your to do list done.  You may need to rest or you may need this slow time as preparation for something up ahead but you will be fine.

You don’t have to do it all right now.  Some things can wait.  That is a lesson in itself. Sometimes its one of the hardest to learn and accept. Sometimes you think you have it down but then life throws you a curve ball. Trust the process that it will work out especially if you are constantly doing what you can do to continuously and with effort.


Sunday Message: Get you a Life

Good Sunday morning! Today I am having a pretty calm day. I spent most of my Saturday having my own personal day of sorts. It was great; music, fun, movies, lunches family, friends, and a few drinks! But as I sit today keeping my son from spreading germs on everyone I am reminded of a few things.


I absolutely love Snapchat! It’s super fun and can give you a glimpse into other people’s lives. It’s a way to be light, have fun with filters and really let your personality shine. A few things to remember as you live is that life is way beyond filters. Do not all yourself to look at someone else’s life and envy a life you think they have. There are times when filters can be cool but deceiving. How many smiles are hidden by pain? Live a full life. If you see something someone has and you truly desire it i.e something material then find a way to incorporate it! You do realize there’s always ways to get the same thing on a budget?! But get it if you like it not to feel as if once you obtain it you will be better because you won’t! Material gain is only a small portion of life. Life is about how you treat others, what you give to those around you and how you treat yourself since how you treat you will help or hinder the relationships around you!


This is through Instagram and another way to be able to get a glimpse into another person’s life! They are fun but again same principle. Don’t spend so much time worrying about this instalife but not about the life you should be creating in real life.

Life has so many opportunities to create smoke screens. They are fun but remember to find ways to enjoy life in real life time. Don’t be so serious all the time that you make yourself miserable. If you woke up and really felt like your life was missing something but didn’t look at ways to create the life you want you are wasting precious time!

Take the steps to have a real life. To find ways that you can genuinely smile. Ways that you can live in your true purpose and gift. Ways that serves others and make sure you fill your own cups too. Life was meant to be lived not just on social media day dreaming about what others have.

We are about to come upon a new season. What have you done well in the Winter? What could you change? What are your goals? What are you doing daily to reach them? When was the last time you did something you enjoyed? When was the last time you spent time by yourself? What about with real friends? Want flowers but you are waiting around for someone else to buy them, go get them for yourself! Decorate your home the way you want! Clean and declutter your life! These are things that as you complete them your real life goes up!

Live your real life to the best of your ability!! Smile! Don’t give your joy away!

Women’s Month Preview

I enjoy women’s month! It’s one of the biggest traffic months. A lot of people have asked me why do I do the posts for the full month?! Simple, why not give a regular women a month to shine? March is women’s history month and women are changing history on all fronts all the time. These are women who might not have shared their story openly before and are ready to let you know that they survived the very things that was designed to take them out!

Think about it in this light, women need to know that as much division that is created among us, we are all connected. Think about a topic that women alone goes through. Bring that topic up and women who don’t know each other can relate and will openly share. This is why we need to tell our stories more often. We need to talk about the times we succeeded and the times we failed. We need to highlight our strengths as well as our weaknesses. There is a woman somewhere struggling alone when she doesn’t have to. She is somewhere feeling defeated because she doesn’t think what she has done, gotten herself into, or is nervous about, some other woman has been in those trenches, but we have been there and made it out in one way or another.

Ladies it’s our day everyday. It’s our month every month. It’s our year every year but when we get to shine a little brighter, then shine! As a woman I am proud of those who have come before me. I am proud that we as women have failed along the way but still keep on going regardless of what has been thrown our way. I’m proud that women are learning how to embrace what they have and not make excuses or try to water it down. We are owning our place in this world, choosing the life we want, being sexually aware and unashamed and most importantly stepping away from the status quo to achieve any goal we want!

We are scooping up the younger generation and showing by example how it’s done. We are not restricting ourselves to make men feel comfortable. We are walking in lanes that were not always paved for us. We are learning to practice self-care and saying no when we need to. We don’t have to carry it all! We can take breaks! We can travel this world alone! We can work across the aisles! We can make our dreams come true!

I salute all women from every walk in life. From the women who feels as if her past has knocked her out of the running to the women who made every right decision and are benefiting from it! To the college graduate who is the first in her family to the drug addicted mother who cleaned her life up! I salute you all!!

Get ready for some amazing women with some amazing stories to share. Thank you for being brave enough to be vulnerable. It takes a lot to put yourself out there! It takes a lot to know that when you put your story out there knowing there will be some folks who think you aren’t worthy! This blog was made from those whispers and guess what just like you I haven’t stopped! Let’s have some fun, learn some lessons and get inspired to live our best life NOW!

We’re going to hear from business women, community leaders, wives whose husband have left them and they picked up and kept on building, single moms, college graduates, those working with offenders, all kinds of women.  So be on the lookout the month-long celebration will kick off tomorrow and end March 31, 2018!

How to Handle Love Week When you and your Love are Beefing

Valentine’s Day is this week and it would be nice if all couples were in an a sea of love and like. That is ideal but it’s not always real.

These man-made holidays don’t always have timing on point. Remember just like no two people are the same; no two couples are the same as well. There is no way that couples can be in the right head space when Valentine’s Day comes.

So how do you manage when you really don’t want to show love to your mate?! You show it anyway. You do not do for someone based on merit. The same way you feel about them they could and probably have had the same feeling towards you. Marriage and relationships aren’t perfect in any way. We have to let go of this ideology that couples marry and ride off into this happily ever after. That happens in television and movies. The real happens after the vows are said.

Now with that same proclamation there is always a disclaimer. No flowers or candy will change the issues that took place regardless of a holiday or not. I think about my first marriage anniversary. In my head weeks leading up to it I expected the day to be filled with little surprises all day, little text messages of how much love we had for one another and ending the night with amazing sex. The reality was days before and even the day of we were arguing. I had one of my postpartum fits and our dinner had more silence then a good flow of conversation. I don’t remember if the night ended in sex or if it was filled with the reality that we had kids to take care of and stress was at an all time high.

There’s a difference of expectation that can be damaging to a relationship if realism isn’t at the forefront. This is why candy and flowers shouldn’t be the basis of how one apologizes. Give whatever gift you had intended but work more on your actual issues without having to have Hallmark attached. Working through the moments when you dislike your mate will make the gifts that much more sweeter trust me.

If I could go back to that first anniversary dinner I would have laid the charges down because the mere fact that I can’t tell you why we’re reacting proves that in the long run it didn’t matter. So ask yourself is the issues are really worth ruining any time that you have with your loved one?! Most likely not. Take some time to work through. The off days and the days of dislike are going to come. Trust me live a little they will. But if you’re friends first and have a strong foundation you can work through anything. Don’t ruin any day. Ask the widow or widower how they feel and I’m sure they would love one more day to be in the arms of the one they love. Each moment is fleeting. Don’t spend the little moments we have wrapped up in things that won’t build a strong relationship.

Monday Motivation: You Can

The world has enough can’t built in it! Today I just want to simply remind you of all the things you can! Feel free to come back to this page as often as you need to remind yourself and of course add some more can to knock out your can’t!! Be great!!

  1. You can be great
  2. You can manage your emotions
  3. You can get that Job promotion
  4. You can get through your Monday
  5. You can love again
  6. You can let go
  7. You can be a blessing to others
  8. You can smile
  9. You can defeat fear
  10. You can push out negativity
  11. You can get it all done
  12. You can accomplish all goals
  13. You can create
  14. You an raise good children
  15. You can love your mate
  16. You can help a stranger
  17. You can eat well
  18. You can work out
  19. You can lose weight
  20. You can love yourself
  21. You can learn again
  22. You can go back to school
  23. You can start over
  24. You can be all that you need
  25. You can crush any goal
  26. You can be a friend
  27. You can have it all
  28. You can work well with others
  29. You can get pass bad traffic
  30. You can make it today
  31. You can give someone a hug
  32. You can be loved on
  33. You can receive love
  34. You can be loving
  35. You can give to others

Today whatever your can’t needs, replace it with can and watch you day turn. Know today that you can!!!

Sunday Message: I’ll make it!

If you’re feeling defeated know that this feeling is normal. It happens to the best of us. Don’t beat yourself up further because of this fleeting feeling.

What you can do is turn this feeling around. Defeat can only overtake your mindset when you keep feeding defeat with reasons why you should give up. You will not struggle with reasons why to give up. Those ideas flow easily. It’s finding reasons to push through that may be the hardest. One thing to remember it only takes one reason not to give up to stay in the fight. Only one!

When I felt that I was at my lowest moment and trust me I’ve had many it always starts off with a situation that seemed to spiral out of control. Most of the times I allowed it to get to that point. It could be with a bad choice or decision. Whatever pushed it towards that spiral I played a huge hand in its outcome. So then depression sets in with the old I will never get out of this talk. Which if you live a little the hardest things never truly overtake you. Then you find yourself overthinking until you fall asleep.

I wasn’t resting because I needed strength to do better, often times it was to escape what I had going on. If this is your first hard time just know when you wake up trouble is still sitting there looking at you with a strong side eye wondering what you are gonna do!!

The best way through a defeated mindset is to acknowledge that you’re there. Don’t hide at all. Don’t sugar coat your moment. Speak up and expose it. The times I would say man I’m in over my head it was almost like a light bulb would come on. I knew at that moment that I had to get it together. Hiding only masks it and allows for more negativity to build with it.

Here are a few things that helps me:

  1. Talk to the right people-not just your friend but a friend who is consistent. If you’re friend is going to use the information just to remind you of how much better they are then you, that’s the wrong friend.
  2. Find out what your options are even the ones you don’t want to hear.
  3. Find a solution! Sometimes we say we want answers but hide not to deal with it. Hit it head on so the fear of the situation loses its sting.
  4. Get clear-pray or meditate to get yourself some guidance and clarity
  5. Tell only key players. The ones who will truly lend a hand are the ones who are on a need to know
  6. Know that this is a temporary test. As hard as it looks you will not die in the moment even if you lost a lot in this fight! What’s lost needed to be lost for your overall purpose.
  7. Cry-it’s not a sign of weakness but release the pain that the situation has caused and work towards holding fast onto the lessons that were necessary!

Defeat is temporary and necessary. You will not win every battle but if in life you lose to gain what is rightfully yours then this setback is definitely vital to your journey. Chin up, you will make it through.

I used to sing a song in the choir and the worlds were: sink or swim, live or die I’ll make it! You will make it even if all hell breaks lose! You got this!! Enjoy the song if you listen, the nuggets will carry you through anything!! Enjoy your Sunday and refuel!!

I’ll make it!!

Self Date, Table for one, Self-Love Moments

It’s easy for me at this stage of my life to do things on my own because I am married and I have kids. A lot of people want that life but the thought of going out alone is one that many people struggle with everyday. However there are many married folks that can’t seem to leave the shadows of their mate and won’t go anywhere without their significant other. Listen let me keep it real, when you have 3 kids having a sitter all the time isn’t always manageable. Missing out on events happens. My husband and I have pushed to create time out for both of us to pursue our own lives together and more often apart.

It’s nothing now after many failed years of complaining about what I didn’t have, to go out. This type of courage wasn’t something birthed over night. I sit back and wonder at times about if I had this same courage during my single years how much more effective my single years would have been. When I was in my 20s I had a lot of friends and family that I hung out with so I was never alone. However the thought of going out, taking solo vacations, and dining alone was like a curse. So shout out to my single readers who experience this all the time. I didn’t want to go to a wedding alone, dinner alone, movies alone, etc. My self worth was entangled in having myself on someone’s arm.

So now I’m married with responsibilities and I crave a balance in all areas of my life including my alone time. I have purposely live my life like an open book in front of my kids to let them understand the strength in being a strong table of one. They ask why are you going alone? Just ask Dad. My husband is my biggest cheerleader. There isn’t anything that I do where he’s not silently or opening cheering me but not everything is about him or for him. I openly tell my daughters and son the same message my mom entrusted in me in that there could be a time where I am alone. I have to be okay in my own skin and get out and enjoy this beautiful world. The excuses, the anxiety will just have to come along until they fall off. I refuse to not do something because of lack of partnership. In 2017 I stepped out shaking at times, alone. Overall it has made me a better person.

Here are some of the lessons I learned:

1. Scared I’m still fearless- a few events I attended alone I was a nervous wreck but I survived

2. I met awesome people. I would have possibly hid behind my husband not because that’s my place because it’s not but because hiding seemed safe.

3. I’m a better person when I have my own life, my own experiences, and my own time. Every time I come back from a place or spot or event I’m more motivated then when I left

4. I haven’t loss “it”- I still can command a room alone as I do when I’m with a person. Confidence is sexy

5. My moods get lifted. I’ve found some amazing things this past year and I find that I’m happier inside and out

So intentionally the very things that I was afraid to do I now do. So yes you can find me enjoying a cocktail and dinner alone and smiling. I make sure to put my phone away too to take the edge off. I think being on your cell during dinner sets the wrong internal message and takes the sting of being alone with the replacement of the cell.

I also take my yearly beach trip. It’s easy to hide at the beach alone. Make sure to pack all of the essentials. I go to the movies alone. Do you know how beautiful it is to reach into a bag of popcorn without 4 sets of hand teaching back?! The WILL! I love also finding some of the snazzy events in Philly alone. I make it my business to introduce myself to at least 3 people while there. I have yet to walk alone once at an event. My ability to make friends and network once I take the first step, has always been great. This year I’ll be taking my first solo trip! Listen my whole being can’t wait. Every detail of planning and a lot of great events in the works.

February is about self-love. I have been daily getting my self-love in. For me it’s about watching how I talk to myself. Yes I’m losing weight, getting better but the way I see myself in pictures and how I see myself in my mind don’t always match. Being able to see past a scale isn’t easy. I practice loving on myself daily and pushing back on the negativity. Oh and a little tidbit for those losing weight focus on off scale victories. There are going to be times when that scale doesn’t move and you know you worked hard but something you haven’t worn fits well! Another way to get my self love in is with weekly spa treatments at home. I stepped up my masks, bubble baths with candles and wine. It’s important for me to have my mind and heart right while I juggle the tightest schedules ever!

So enjoy this season! Get out and enjoy the world. Remember even with the best network of friends they don’t have the same interests as you. The things you want to do they may not. Don’t miss out on opportunities just because you don’t want to be a table of one. Being a table of one doesn’t make you lame. You can meet a load of awesome people out and about. Enjoy this life. Life is meant to be lived. Love on yourself. If your single it will help when you become entangled with another. If your married it will make you a better partner, and if you’re newly divorced it will show you things you ignored in your failed marriage. Keep in mind a failed marriage doesn’t make you a failure! Live on your terms and do it on purpose!