Weekly Recap: Friday March 22, 2019

I missed last week on purpose because I wanted to let the blogs do their own thing and on top of that I had a lot of events that I was preparing to attend on top of working out, and my run schedules.  I am 2 weeks to race number one the Allstate Hot Chocolate 15K

I am excited as well as super nervous as that race is one month to the Broad Street Run. I am not sure if that was a good idea off but it’s what I am doing. So with that more events and life, we are going to get through as best as I can.  The last update I gave that wasn’t on video was on March 1st. So let’s catch up.

Blog Life

There is a lot going on.  Here are the Women History Blogs you might have missed:

Deja E.

Zulma M.

Tameeka and Kenisha

Cheryl A.

Ila M.

Kim H.

Also I attended some events:

Bob in Five Acts

I can’t forget some bomb eateries here in Philly:

Neighborhood Ramen

Rim Cafe

Termini Brothers Bakery

So its been a busy month since we last updated. Between Monday Motivation and Sunday messages and Ask Toi questions. Always check back to make sure you aren’t missing a thing.

Kid Life

My kids are great. My youngest is all registered for Kindergarten for next school year. I am excited and know that means a lot for our house. One pick up and one drop off is going to be amazing too. Saving some money from daycare/preschool life is what we can’t wait for.

On Thursday it was also National Incredible Kid Day

Fit Life

I am still very much training for races. I also went vegan. It has been interesting. I am confident that I will be just fine. Having to relearn food is the best part. I linked up with Go Vegan Philly

I have learned that I can get the same food and alter it to be plant-based and that makes me happy and my belly feel amazing. I haven’t been hungry once. I almost slipped up on some cheese but thankfully I have snacks premade to fight that cheese demon.  I had to force myself to take a rest day this week. I have been going non stop for weeks now and I know from experience to keep fit you need rest days and sleep.

Personal Life

Other than balance that is the biggest thing going on in my life. Spring has Sprung and my calendar is filling up and I love the busy lifestyle. I also am enjoying making sure I keep up with ME. Not just the mom Me, or the blogger Me, just me. Enjoying the things that I love has been therapeutic.

As always I hope you have a great weekend and find an activity that feeds your spirit. Refill your cup!!

 

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National Incredible Kid (s) Day

Today is National Incredible Kid (s) day. I happen to have 3 of the most incredible kids that I know. They are respectful, full of life, and they are mine.  I love them so much. Having kids has been an adventure. I have had to alter my life in ways I didn’t know I could. No one could have prepared me for motherhood. It comes with some highs and lows like when they are sick or in the hospital. I pray daily that I am giving what they need and more and not what I think they need. Each of my children are amazing in their own right.

Naila

My first-born holds the special place in my heart. She is the one who made me a mom. I have talked about her birth story before. I developed preeclamsia and had to be induced. When that didn’t work and my blood pressure was at an unhealthy level I had an emergency C-section and she was born 6 weeks early. Oh the fear in my mind but I tried all I could do to keep her in despite what was happening to me. The doctors told me if she comes out crying that would be one hurdle. She came out hollering. I was relieved. I didn’t get to spend too much time with her as they whisked her to ICU.  She was in NICU for one week. However I knew I had a fighter as they told me the more they tried to hook her up to cords, she pulled each and every one of them off. She is an amazing child. She is a big helper, she is courteous, loves to smile, never sees the bad in others, and she is an all around star.

Mj

My son. He probably was the least problematic pregnancy. He looked so much like his sister that for the first week I kept calling him his sister. He is an amazing boy who loves to ask questions. His heart is bigger than this world can contain. He loves the world. He loves Spider-Man, his god mother calls him Spidey. He is truly a smart remarkable young man. He does what you ask for the most part. He loves to know why things are the way they are. This has been a blessing and sometimes a headache.  I love the way his mind thinks. He loves rules and wants to be a police man this week. Last week he wanted to be Spider-Man. Whatever he chooses to do I will be there to support him. Mj is the type of child that you can count on to follow the rules.  He is an amazing soccer player too! As a boy he has my heart in ways I didn’t even imagine was possible.

Noelle

She is my firecracker. She has a personality like no other. She was my most clingy baby. She didn’t go to much of anyone at birth. It took her almost 2 years to become more social. She is excited to start Kindergarten next school year. In addition to that she flourishes the most when she is singing or dancing. I tell her you may be the next Beyoncé and her response is, Beyoncé can be my back up dancer. I love that she doesn’t just accept everything and everyone. She side eyes most people. Her intuition is spot on. I have never questioned her judgement because she certainly knows what is going on. She is a joy to be around but she has been deemed the “thug” of the family. That isn’t a negative word either. She can hold her own. I tell her she gets that from her great-grandmother, Earline mixed with them McGinnis genes it’s a wonder she is like she is. She most definitely the one that would show up to protect her older siblings without question.

I am more than blessed to have the best incredible kids call me mom. I hold that title with honor. I pray I am guiding them in the right ways. I do what I can to make sure they are prepared in this world. Everyday I tell them I love them. Every single day they hear words of affirmation from me and their dad. They know they are surrounded in love. I can’t help but be there for these 3 beautiful souls. Shout out to my 3 incredible kids!

Thank you to Termini Brothers Bakery

I’ve been on a tour of sorts of Philadelphia. As much as I absolutely love hoping on the road or taking a flight out of the city, sometimes you can find the best treasures in your own backyard. Termini Brothers Bakery is in its 98th year. Following the family traditions they still bake the old-fashioned way. I have never heard of them before. Before someone comes for me, I have only been in the city for 8 years this month!  So I am constantly learning daily. With that in mind I was happy to tour the facilities.  I also of course indulged and took some treats home for the kids.

To see the longevity that is the Termini Brothers Bakery that is being passed down the family line and even with technology advancing seeing how they keep the tradition of fresh baking going, you don’t see that too often these days.

Thank you to Mr. Termini himself for giving us an amazing tour into the decorating room that is usually off-limits and the picture as well. Every last member of the team was gracious and gave us that family feel.  You all are amazing. I will definitely will be back!

Their main location is at 1523 S. 8th Street but they have 3 other locations in Philadelphia: Packer Park Shopping Center, Reading Terminal, and Main Shops at the Comcast Center.

If you are looking for a mainstay bakery that is fresh and absolutely delicious try out Termini

Hours:

Monday through Thursday 8:00 a.m. – 7:00 p.m.
Friday 8:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m.
Saturday 7:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m.
Sunday 7:00 a.m. – 7:00 p.m.

(Holiday Hours Vary)

OPEN
Thanksgiving 7:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Easter Sunday 7:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Memorial Day 8:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Fourth of July 8:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Labor Day 8:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.

CLOSED
Christmas Day
New Year’s Day

Also follow them on Instagram Facebook Twitter

 

I love being serenaded upon entry!!

Happiness is a Choice

So this weekend was super busy.  I needed a nap from the nap I didn’t take type of weekend.  However with all of the moving parts of the weekend, the one thing that stood out to me was my daughter.  We went to my husband’s basketball game and I was cheering him on. She says oh mommy I am happy cause you are happy. I felt like time stopped. Reality what she said hit me hard.

I asked her why she said that.  Her response was so child like in that I looked tired. What she didn’t know was the last few mornings I had been up at 530am to run.  I ran 5 miles on Saturday and 3 miles on Sunday. She was sleep both mornings so when she woke up I was home.  I really was tired.  I was exhausted and really on fumes.  However her perception to me being tired was correlated to happiness.  Anyone who knows my daughter knows that she is one of the happiest people on the planet and she’s like that all the time. I didn’t want her to feel as if her happiness needed to be tied to my reaction.

When we got home she said it again.  I asked her how would she be if I never smiled or showed happiness.  Would she continue to be her happy self? She hesitated.  I explained to her that happiness is a daily and sometimes moment by moment choice. I also explained that her happiness should come from the inside out.  That let me know that even if I never spoke to her about happiness she is watching. How I take care of myself and how I move around her is important. Today is Act Happy Day.   It’s important to understand that life won’t always be the way we want, but we can control our responses.  We can make or break the part of life where we push through.  Life sucks sometimes. I want to mirror realness to my children but I also don’t ever want to walk around allowing the bitterness of life to over take my smile.

Don’t worry I definitely explained that happiness isn’t in a smile alone to my daughter.  She just happens to have a great smile that if anything encourages me to be light!  It’s easy for a child to be content when you have all that you need. I know that as an adult, life happens.  I know that life has dealth a few bad hands. However having a calm in my heart and joy in my life will make it a bit easier to mirror true happiness to those around me including my daughter.

 

Sunday Message: Give Up Cycle

There are many things in life that we all have to push through is not giving up.  It comes in cycles.  You get really motivated and if you’re not careful, you go into justifying why its okay and you will get back into a flow after a while. As time keeps going you fall off completely telling yourself the goal was necessary.  Such a harsh pattern to be in.

There are ways to get past.  One take your bigger goal and break it down into smaller goals.  This is a good way to get the motivation moving towards the goal of completion. With technology there’s no reason you can’t keep your goals in your mind, on your phone, and in your vision.  What are you doing daily to keep the goals fresh on your to do list?  I usually look at my vision board that I took a picture of and attack one thing in each category that will get me to the finish line. How can I be productive?  How can I use that idle scrolling on social media time to push me to better limits?  This is the mindset to have daily.

repeat

Failure is a apart of life.  We win and lose at variations. Failure hurts. Failure burns.  Failure is embarrassing.  Some of my most humbling failures still make me emotional but I know it is necessary for my story down the line. Consistency is necessary and staying the course comes from not getting stuck in the giving up cycle, where we let the human part of justifying why we fell off and staying in that part of cycle stalls our progress. Think about it in simple ways.  If you ask a kid why they did something they most likely squirm making up excuses that don’t make sense. That is how we look in the mirror of life using excuses like “not having enough money,” “too tired,” “not strong enough,” etc. Meanwhile those who have less than us take the same excuses we sell ourselves in their watered down versions and make magic.

Giving up cycle comes to all of us.  Just because you see someone have a different level of success than her, stop focusing on that.  Focus on how you can take charge of your areas, stay out of the giving up cycle and  find ways to rise above it.  Life is already going to deal its own cards, why add onto it by sabotaging yourself. Start this week writing down what you want to do to be successful on your own terms.  How will you make it happen? Focus on that this week not the small failures you may have experienced this past week.  It will only keep you on the hamster wheel and not much will happen there.

Wake up.

Make that list.

Make a plan for that list.

Find joy in the midst of pain.

Make this week better than last week!

You got this!

got this

Ask Toi: I cheated and my husband holds it over my head, should I leave?

I can’t give you that answer. I wonder if you two have done the work to heal. If you have been seeing a counselor and you have talked or are talking it out I would say let it run its course. I think regardless of who cheated meaning this goes for women and men, the person who is holding the cards is usually the one who has been cheated. You can’t determine how long that person grieves this betrayal. That is what it is your husband feels betrayed. Men are also wired differently they could be a cheater but don’t get over being cheated on. Women also cheats for other reasons than simply sex. So you need to figure out the reason that you cheated and if that reasoning has been resolved. If not you may find you doing it again. So I would seek counseling in addition to martial counseling. However you also aren’t trapped into your marriage. If its worth to go through this pain you may find that you and your husband to be stronger. But it has to be both wanting it. If you find that only you are interested in making it right, you have to make that decision. The only thing is that counseling will help so that you don’t take the same patterns into another relationship. I remember my husband going to counseling and our counselor let us know it’s not an easy fix. It wasn’t about cheating but the same principle applies. Counseling isn’t a fix. It helps you weed out your feelings and helps you determine your threshold for love and work. I wish you peace as you continue but ONLY you can determine how long you should work or if you should throw in the towel. I would say counseling is the best way to go about it to start the journey.

Monday Motivation: Starting Fresh

It’s a new month and with that it’s time to start fresh. I believe in resetting or resifting the mindset as often as possible. It’s necessary to completing goals.

So now that we are in the last month of the 1st quarter of the year, being realistic about your goals and figuring out which ones need to be tweaked is important. Also realizing that not all of your goals have to be crushed right away. If your goal was a better credit score, it’s going to take time to fix it. Keep your goals aligned so that the very goal doesn’t stress you while you complete them.

Keep in mind too this is not about not actively working towards your goal and then shifting them to the end of next year either. Acknowledge when you’re just not as motivated and do something about it. Every day I look at my vision board and find something to do in each category that will help me complete that goal. Everyday! Small tasks add up quickly. Being a proactive participant in your life separates those who just hope alone and those who work towards goals. Nothing will simply fall into your life.

You have to be determined to work hard. You have to be determined to make mistakes but quickly get up. The longer you sit in self-pity the longer it takes you to crush your goal. Your energy could be spent on important factors in place of wallowing in defeat. It takes minutes, days, months, and years off of your time!!

Start today with a new reassurance inside of you to finish what you started. To push out defeat. To make life happen even in the midst of a setback. Setbacks happen to all of us. How you push past it is what defines you! Start fresh today but crush your goals!