Today is Self Renewal Day

What do you do to self renew?  There are a million and one ways to renew.  Renewal of any kind means to reset. This is taking deliberate time out for yourself to get your body, mind and head in the game of life. Although it is celebrated as a holiday for today I like to think this goes along with self-care which should be done daily.

For me I try to do self-care and self renewal daily. I like to switch it up it may be with changing the scents of my bath bombs, using my body exfoliation and turning shower time into a home spa. Sometimes it’s shutting the bathroom door and listening to an uplifting song. It may be going to the nail salon and coffee shop.  My self-care rituals can be as a big or as small as I need them. How you preserve your mind is important. Sometimes it may come in the form of no. I have had to cancel plans if I feel overwhelmed. It happens!  I have a lot on my plate. However what I have learned is saying NO without explanation. This is a big one even to elders. You can be respectful even with a NO.

african american woman black girl black woman chair

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So renewal is necessary. It really should be a part of your daily process that its normal. So many times I hear things like I don’t have time. Make time. I make me a priority while I jumble a busy schedule. I take time out for me because I know the second I don’t everyone around me is going to catch it. Why have the folks around you suffer and to be honest, why would you have yourself suffer?  If you know you can’t do more, don’t take on more. It sounds more simple than it sounds because you have allowed the notion of more is better. Sometimes less is more. Don’t over exert your energies where it’s not being replenished. You can’t fill someone up from an empty cup.

When I feel like I can’t tap into myself, I ask why?  What is going on inside of me that makes me feel like I can’t take a break. My husband is good at saying, sit down it will be there later. Often times I give him a look but the reality is others can see sometimes what we can. Do not sit and think that by asking for help you are less than who you are.  Help is great. Help allows you more time not to find things to put in its place but to be sooner so you can do something you enjoy. I often now have it so that when the kids go down I like to have my kitchen cleaned and food put away so that remainder of the night I can focus on what I like.  That is my time to get my wine glass should I want or take an extra long shower or even go to bed early. Getting rest is self-renewal too. Naps are a blessing that blesses those around you!

Take time today to renew. You hold the power. Today I will be taking some magazine and wine down time. Its quiet and I can shut the door and enjoy my me time. Renew yourself today!

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Love Energy

If you ever worked out you know how it can feel. Sometimes you feel super motivated. Other times you have a love/hate relationship.  However if you are consistent in it you will notice how better you feel and eventually you will see results. When you are consistent and you see results it keeps you feeling amazing and keeps you going even when you have days when you slack off.

The energy behind that feeling of working out, eating better, or doing better is the same type of energy that needs to be put into your love relationship. You should feel loved on everyday. The days where arguments seem to be on a thousand, and you’re not getting along, should be way less than the days you and your partner spend loving on each other. One thing that I am realizing is the more energy into the relationship, the better the results. The times in your relationships where BOTH partners are attempting to meet in the middle is key to making it work.

Energy never lies. I don’t care what a person says, if the energy that a person is giving or lack thereof, is the key to how things hold up. You can never go on record with your spouse naming the things that you do in response to responsibilities alone if the energy in how you love isn’t being shown. I learned that in counseling on my own. I went to counseling about my life in general and if I am honest my marriage came up. My counselor was a man and he said to me that I know the energy in which my marriage is giving and if that energy is slacking, it won’t hold up. I either had to do my part, wait to see if my husband’s part would match, and if it don’t match, I knew what I had to do. This doesn’t mean my counselor was encouraging to divorce, etc, but he was making me aware of things that love blinds you to.

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Love is amazing. If you are being loved right, it shows. A woman glows better when she’s loving herself and her partner is loving her correctly. There is no denying that. Energy is all about what you give to your partner. If all you do is harp on what your partner does that is negative than don’t get mad when that person goes looking for someone to encourage them. Let me say it for the folks in the back, this is not a oh well if they cheat clause. I am saying if you’re honest and you know you aren’t speaking good into your relationship and over the person you claim to love and all you do is tearing that individual them, gaslighting them, and downing their every move, eventually that ugly side of you becomes less and less attractive. No ONE wants to be put down. You can’t come with a smile, ever? You don’t have not one nice thing to say, ever? There is something wrong, always? Don’t nobody got time for that. If you have an issue with something, speak up but it don’t have to be drawn into a picture with a neon sign everyday! Speak love. Speak encouragement. Put into the relationship what you want out of it.

One last nugget my counselor told me that we tend to say, if I was with “this” person whatever the “this” represents, we would….. If you don’t work out in yourself whatever negative issues you feel from what you get out of your mate, you can leave them and run right back into that same type of person later. Check your loves of the past, do they all share common traits? If so than maybe there’s something in you that needs to be worked out. Energy never lies. If you feel miserable and you’re working on yourself and find that the person you are with is not and its dragging you down, speak up. After awhile things will naturally take its course. Don’t ignore the warning signs cause you love this person!

Sunday Message: Keeping your Spirit Elevated

Now let me be clear being in high spirits is important. It’s the ability to move past how you feel even when you have low moments. It also means at moments when you fail, moments when you lose or experience loss, elevating your spirit is a necessary life skill. It takes a lot of energy to keep your spirit in tact. But the benefit of having your emotions pull on you which if unchecked can allow you to make bad decisions is necessary.

Elevating shouldn’t only be in happy times

If you’re peace and happiness can be altered only during great times you may need to reconsider that you have more work to do. Let’s not act like life doesn’t happen and any one of us can feel defeated, be defeated, or plain old need to retreat, but for the most part how we respond to the situations actually helps or hinders us! One of the things that separates the successful is that they don’t give up. That didn’t meant they didn’t have failure! They failed and kept their spirit in tact and kept pressing.

Check your thoughts

Even when you make mistakes your mind will keep replaying it over and over again like a broken record player. For millennials, it’s the equivalent of having a website buffer over and over again. You can’t get past or even elevate your thoughts if you allow negative thoughts to over take you. It’s counter productive if you’re trying to do better or be better in your life. You can acknowledge you could have done better or even find places where different choices is key but to beat yourself up mentally will not help you to the next phase. Check your thoughts. If someone played your thoughts on a large screen would you be proud of what they saw? Would you be okay with someone talking to in the same way? If not don’t talk to you like that and especially in your mind!

Plans change but it doesn’t have to break you

The perception of what you think you will do or want to do is great. It can set you up to move towards a goal. Keep in mind that it when things change or plans are altered even in the midst of your own foolishness it was necessary. We dwell on what should or could have happened.

I was supposed to be married by age…..

I was supposed to be working at abc company……

I was supposed to have a child by now….

These things can on the surface be a statement of acknowledging where we thought we would be but there is a small slope when we allow it to overtake us and then we go into pity party mode. Elevate. What are your new thoughts? What can you do to make new goals? What brings pure joy into your life on the daily? What can you do to help someone?

Acknowledge pain but don’t let pain reign in your body, mind, and definitely not in your spirit. Find ways to bring your thoughts higher! This may mean you getting to your higher power! Elevate from negativity by constantly cleansing from the inside out. You can’t elevate with hate in your heart! You can’t elevate while being mean to others. Work from the inside out, change your thoughts, pray or meditate daily, write in your journal, change those who you call friends, practice self care, and be vigilant about where you spend time whether with those who you are around, social media, etc.!

Wellness Tuesday Check In

So I wanted to do a quick check in with everyone. I don’t know about you but I do know that the happiness I felt in the morning is starting to dwindle.  I still have joy but the tiredness from the day before and the fact that I am weaning my body off of caffeine for the last few weeks is starting to catch up to me. Say a prayer for me.  I have not had caffeine for about 3 weeks!

Normally when I feel like this I get rejuvenated by the fact that I know my workout is coming around noon but today I am making it my rest day.  Well I’m not my trainer is making it my rest day.  It feels weird not being active and I find that I try to substitute other things when I am not working out.  Nothing bad but little things.  So to relax and veg out makes me feel like I am going to possibly be more tired than I am now.

So with all of these thoughts and a little anxiety that I am feeling I thought I would share that.  I talked to several friends and they are already over today.  I am not alone, you are not alone.  The key will be in pushing through and channeling my thoughts. So please don’t take this as a complaint blog because its’ not. It’s about recognizing where I am and being okay with it until this feeling transitions. It’s okay to be uneasy.  It’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to feel blah but until an answer that is on your heart or mind comes, it’s also okay to keep moving forward and past how you feel!

Until this passes, keep pushing! Make the best of your Tuesday!