Monday Motivation: Let’s Clean House

I really can’t believe it! We literally are in the last few weeks of the whole year left. As many are preparing for Christmas the reality is above that is the New Year!!! What?!

I know I get that just the mere acknowledgment of the end of the year sounds crazy. However it doesn’t change its reality. My oldest was in my room where I have my vision board and she reminded me how most of my items listed I had actually accomplished. That not only made me feel good but it made me feel even more amazing that my daughter was the one who pointed it out to me. Now with the last few weeks to go I don’t plan to just celebrate the holidays, I want to start shifting into my what’s next! What do I want to do now? Where do I want to go and what will it take to get there?

You don’t have to wait for 2020 to start shifting towards new set of goals. And….there is zero shame in saying that there are some goals that haven’t come to fruition. You can pick them up and add them back onto your radar!! Everyday is a day of new beginnings. So I take each day and attempt to make it better than my next!!

Time is going super fast. It’s not waiting for anyone! So it’s time to position ourselves around the right crowds and have the right folks on the team!

Let’s clean house!

Here’s a listing of a few people you don’t need in your life as you clean house and you absolutely should always be about cleaning your house at all times:

Contentious Folks

Please for the sake of mental and emotional peace cut out contentious folks out of your life. They are super draining! They are life suckers and they don’t mean you well. It’s something about someone who argues just to argue. A spirit of disagreement is just unnecessary. If you’re not an attorney and you’re not being paid to argue it’s not necessary to literally be combative with your word choices daily for no reason! I have a few friends who are like this who I must say I’ve withdrawn from because there is no space in my life to hold them! I can’t entertain people who argue about the smallest of things.

Doubting Dawn

No disrespect to any Dawns but it’s irritating to dream and work towards that dream to only have a few folks that always have the notion to doubt your existence. “Why you?” “You ain’t nobody!” These type of folks are super motivating for sure but to have them on your team day in and day out just for the sake of having them in your life is really not where you thrive! Stop telling these folks your move. To be honest they really don’t have your best interest in mind they are waiting to see you fall. So let they need to either be eliminated or kept at bay. Change the seating of your life. Front row seating need to be reserved! They aren’t the ones who pay top dollar. They are the ones who got in because they know someone and don’t plan on helping to promote you. Leave them in the dust!

Why not Me Whitley

It’s one thing to believe that someone is living your dream AND you are working and putting in the work to get there but when you have that someone who just wants to reap the rewards; leave them behind. These types of folks are actually hard to spot. They usually play their position of support for years. They are the ones that shoot in the gym with you but after you get called and their names are simply in the background the real them peaks. They are cool with your success AS LONG as they can either tag along or use your name to build their own agendas!!

You need to clean house. The type of cleaning where you move and dust off a few things to reveal true cleanliness! You are going to have to clean house and clean it often! People shift life flour and your longevity with someone can’t be the only sustaining power of a relationship. Not only that your growth has to come from growing up. With that maturity comes discernment!

Happy Monday and hopefully happy thinking, cleaning, and clearing!

Monday Motivation: Coachability or New Coach?!

It’s another Monday! Another reset! Another week to make better plans and amazing achievements. Time to get focus! Last week we talked about Burn out and this week we need to talk about being coachable!

Being able to be coached is key to any success. No one is just born with all the tools. As a blogger there are other bloggers that I look up to! I am always willing to ask questions. I’m willing to listen AND receive criticism. These are just the basics of being able to be coached. If you think that you can’t humble yourself and get tips to be better it’s a quick down fall coming your way. We all can improve.

It’s okay to be able to ask the hard questions and be willing to receive the answers we say we seek. Some of my blogger friends have sent suggestions my way that I do my best to immediately implement. When I went to the Blogher conference recently I learned tips and tools to make my blog stronger to increase visibility. It wasn’t a matter of “I’ve been doing this for 5 years.” 5 years or 5 minutes I still have the ability to listen and change!

Have you ever seen a know it all? They get defensive the minute you offer a suggestion even they are the ones who asked! They get mean and loud as if what you are giving them means they can’t be better or that you want to tear them down to nothing! Criticism can either hurt your feelings and tear your dream or hurt your feelings and make you better-you have a choice. I had someone say “why you!” That hurt my feelings but it helped to push me not leave me wounded and stagnant! Every last one of us has the ability to coach the next one behind us and the ability to have someone coach us. It should work hand-in-hand.

Don’t let criticism bind you and the gift inside of you. It’s like a person who can sing but allows someone who thinks they can’t stop them. Trust me the gift inside you wants to come out. You can hide for a long time but eventually someone is going to hear you sing and remind you of the gift you keep locked away out of fear of criticism. Being coached is like having someone in your corner being a backbone of love and encouragement! That’s the way it should be. Even if a coach delivers a hard blow it should still feel like love!!!

Coach or Hinderance

I said above that even when you have a coach that has to deliver bad news it should feel like love be careful when you have someone on your team who get joy out of delivering the bad and don’t follow up with love. Tough love is beautiful but it should come from a vessel who has the ability to know the difference between pulling back and going forward. I’m amazing of the amount of people who have people on their team that they KNOW don’t mean them well so they can be seen as loyal. If your loyalty to them is dependent on you taking each and every hit that’s not a coach that’s an enemy in your camp! Clean house! Get these types of folks off the team!

Is your Coach Qualified?

Being able to listen and take in change is key but having the right balance of a coach is equally important. Being coachable also means not selecting a coach based on favorites. Make sure that the coach you believe in your life is also qualified. Would you have a fitness coach that ate wrong, overweight, and showed up when they felt like it lead you to a weight loss journey? Would you allow someone who was known to have public financial problems be your financial advisor? Would you let someone who couldn’t swim teach you to swim? No! Stop letting unqualified folks take you places they have no authority being in. You might not even have a problem being coached you might have the wrong coach in your life. Be clear!

Start this Monday asking some serious questions. Ask yourself if you’re not able to allow someone to help you because you need to humble yourself to receive. If after you deem yourself coachable ask yourself is the coach in your life authorized to take you to a new level? Don’t waste your time only getting the folks who never challenge you to be better. The ones who spend more time breaking you down but not being able to ever speak love into your life.

Monday Motivation: Human Interaction

Happy Monday! I’m coming to you today with a mid morning reminder. As I was at events this past weekend I had someone say along the lines: “why were you so nice to them?” I believe I had told a PR agent that I was flexible and not to worry about how anything appeared and I was more than willing to adjust. The young lady took it as me being a push over.

I remained calm in letting her know that keeping in mind that regardless of what was occurring (which by the way wasn’t anything serious) my job in life regardless of what I am doing or where I am is to be in charge of how I interact with others. We all have bad days and bad moments and at no time did I need to go out of my way to give attitude, smirks or anything of the like to another person.

Regardless of heat, issue, etc. it’s not fair to dish out bad vibes to those around me who undeserving of such behaviors. I let her know that there are always folks willing to be nasty, mean, arrogant and as someone who chose to be in the public eye to a certain degree how someone comes into contact with me matters. That doesn’t mean that I’m above being human. It does require for me not to ever forget that above being a blogger, an influencer, a mom, a wife-I’m responsible for how I treat others around me! I am responsible for how I talk to others. Doing things like coming off stuck up is not apart of the package. I treat others with the same level of care that I would want in return!

So on this Monday be clear that when you think no one is watching that they are. I am glad that instead of taking offense to her question I was able to listen and have great dialogue with her. I didn’t want her to have a bad interaction with me but I was glad to be able to remind her too that no one deserves the worse of us at any time for no reason. Remind yourself of that too. The world has enough bad apples don’t be that. Be as positive as you can especially when you’re around others!!

Monday Motivation: To Do List

Happy Monday. It’s a beautiful day this morning. As I look through my calendar I was reminded of something so simple but necessary and that’s the to do list. We have strayed away from them because we have technology, alerts and alarms. The to do list is still a necessary way of organizing our lives. It takes what we need to do and allows us to prioritize them.

To do list also helps as a secondary back up so those forgotten things can remain at the forefront of our minds. Even with how busy life can be I’ve been known to be forgetful. So let’s take it back and gather that to do list. There’s so much pride crossing things off. It makes you feel a sense of accomplishment. It pushes you to get more done and it really takes a load of off of you! So what is on your heart and mind to complete? Write it down! Did you know that successful people are the ones who write down their goals? To do list can be for the day, week, month, or quarter. I’ve started with master lists and tweak it as necessary.

Today my to do list looks a bit crazy and the reason? It’s Monday! Monday are how I set my week up instead of starting it with negativity and complaints. Write that to do list and get in the habit of goal setting. Trust me it will make your days, week’s, and months go that much smoother even on hectic days!

Also to do list can help with self care as the ability to feel like you’re in control of the things you can control helps in moments when life can’t be controlled!!