Monday Motivation: Let’s Clean House

I really can’t believe it! We literally are in the last few weeks of the whole year left. As many are preparing for Christmas the reality is above that is the New Year!!! What?!

I know I get that just the mere acknowledgment of the end of the year sounds crazy. However it doesn’t change its reality. My oldest was in my room where I have my vision board and she reminded me how most of my items listed I had actually accomplished. That not only made me feel good but it made me feel even more amazing that my daughter was the one who pointed it out to me. Now with the last few weeks to go I don’t plan to just celebrate the holidays, I want to start shifting into my what’s next! What do I want to do now? Where do I want to go and what will it take to get there?

You don’t have to wait for 2020 to start shifting towards new set of goals. And….there is zero shame in saying that there are some goals that haven’t come to fruition. You can pick them up and add them back onto your radar!! Everyday is a day of new beginnings. So I take each day and attempt to make it better than my next!!

Time is going super fast. It’s not waiting for anyone! So it’s time to position ourselves around the right crowds and have the right folks on the team!

Let’s clean house!

Here’s a listing of a few people you don’t need in your life as you clean house and you absolutely should always be about cleaning your house at all times:

Contentious Folks

Please for the sake of mental and emotional peace cut out contentious folks out of your life. They are super draining! They are life suckers and they don’t mean you well. It’s something about someone who argues just to argue. A spirit of disagreement is just unnecessary. If you’re not an attorney and you’re not being paid to argue it’s not necessary to literally be combative with your word choices daily for no reason! I have a few friends who are like this who I must say I’ve withdrawn from because there is no space in my life to hold them! I can’t entertain people who argue about the smallest of things.

Doubting Dawn

No disrespect to any Dawns but it’s irritating to dream and work towards that dream to only have a few folks that always have the notion to doubt your existence. “Why you?” “You ain’t nobody!” These type of folks are super motivating for sure but to have them on your team day in and day out just for the sake of having them in your life is really not where you thrive! Stop telling these folks your move. To be honest they really don’t have your best interest in mind they are waiting to see you fall. So let they need to either be eliminated or kept at bay. Change the seating of your life. Front row seating need to be reserved! They aren’t the ones who pay top dollar. They are the ones who got in because they know someone and don’t plan on helping to promote you. Leave them in the dust!

Why not Me Whitley

It’s one thing to believe that someone is living your dream AND you are working and putting in the work to get there but when you have that someone who just wants to reap the rewards; leave them behind. These types of folks are actually hard to spot. They usually play their position of support for years. They are the ones that shoot in the gym with you but after you get called and their names are simply in the background the real them peaks. They are cool with your success AS LONG as they can either tag along or use your name to build their own agendas!!

You need to clean house. The type of cleaning where you move and dust off a few things to reveal true cleanliness! You are going to have to clean house and clean it often! People shift life flour and your longevity with someone can’t be the only sustaining power of a relationship. Not only that your growth has to come from growing up. With that maturity comes discernment!

Happy Monday and hopefully happy thinking, cleaning, and clearing!

Monday Motivation: Coachability or New Coach?!

It’s another Monday! Another reset! Another week to make better plans and amazing achievements. Time to get focus! Last week we talked about Burn out and this week we need to talk about being coachable!

Being able to be coached is key to any success. No one is just born with all the tools. As a blogger there are other bloggers that I look up to! I am always willing to ask questions. I’m willing to listen AND receive criticism. These are just the basics of being able to be coached. If you think that you can’t humble yourself and get tips to be better it’s a quick down fall coming your way. We all can improve.

It’s okay to be able to ask the hard questions and be willing to receive the answers we say we seek. Some of my blogger friends have sent suggestions my way that I do my best to immediately implement. When I went to the Blogher conference recently I learned tips and tools to make my blog stronger to increase visibility. It wasn’t a matter of “I’ve been doing this for 5 years.” 5 years or 5 minutes I still have the ability to listen and change!

Have you ever seen a know it all? They get defensive the minute you offer a suggestion even they are the ones who asked! They get mean and loud as if what you are giving them means they can’t be better or that you want to tear them down to nothing! Criticism can either hurt your feelings and tear your dream or hurt your feelings and make you better-you have a choice. I had someone say “why you!” That hurt my feelings but it helped to push me not leave me wounded and stagnant! Every last one of us has the ability to coach the next one behind us and the ability to have someone coach us. It should work hand-in-hand.

Don’t let criticism bind you and the gift inside of you. It’s like a person who can sing but allows someone who thinks they can’t stop them. Trust me the gift inside you wants to come out. You can hide for a long time but eventually someone is going to hear you sing and remind you of the gift you keep locked away out of fear of criticism. Being coached is like having someone in your corner being a backbone of love and encouragement! That’s the way it should be. Even if a coach delivers a hard blow it should still feel like love!!!

Coach or Hinderance

I said above that even when you have a coach that has to deliver bad news it should feel like love be careful when you have someone on your team who get joy out of delivering the bad and don’t follow up with love. Tough love is beautiful but it should come from a vessel who has the ability to know the difference between pulling back and going forward. I’m amazing of the amount of people who have people on their team that they KNOW don’t mean them well so they can be seen as loyal. If your loyalty to them is dependent on you taking each and every hit that’s not a coach that’s an enemy in your camp! Clean house! Get these types of folks off the team!

Is your Coach Qualified?

Being able to listen and take in change is key but having the right balance of a coach is equally important. Being coachable also means not selecting a coach based on favorites. Make sure that the coach you believe in your life is also qualified. Would you have a fitness coach that ate wrong, overweight, and showed up when they felt like it lead you to a weight loss journey? Would you allow someone who was known to have public financial problems be your financial advisor? Would you let someone who couldn’t swim teach you to swim? No! Stop letting unqualified folks take you places they have no authority being in. You might not even have a problem being coached you might have the wrong coach in your life. Be clear!

Start this Monday asking some serious questions. Ask yourself if you’re not able to allow someone to help you because you need to humble yourself to receive. If after you deem yourself coachable ask yourself is the coach in your life authorized to take you to a new level? Don’t waste your time only getting the folks who never challenge you to be better. The ones who spend more time breaking you down but not being able to ever speak love into your life.

Monday Motivation: You’re Not Alone

One of the things that messes with our mindset at any given time no matter the differences we face is that we are alone. We are the only one going through hard times. Everyone else is advancing and we are left alone. This is false. We are all touched by quire a few common issues. What you’re seeing is people on different rungs of the ladder.

When you feel like you’re on the bottom it’s hard to imagine even moving up. You start to get upset. You find fault in those around you because they should have done more to pull you out. News flash folks got their own issues they are pushing through. You might not always find a hand. The feeling of defeat is real. It’s upsetting to feel like you’re being picked on or isolated.

I want to encourage you today that there’s nothing you have gone or are flint through that someone else hasn’t passed the test. When I was in the thick of any trial it was my mindset that kept me down longer than the circumstances allowed. After the whole self defeating talk didn’t take me out; my self confidence or lack thereof was pushing me to my lowest point.

It’s hard to see greatness in a dark place. I get it. I have been there but you have to know even when you can’t see it; don’t give up. Don’t totally fall apart even when you feel like falling apart is comfortable. Being uncomfortable and pushing past that especially when I had nothing to lose made me the best version of myself. Hearing no a thousand times made me frustrated, sad, envious, and angry. It still birthed a sense of knowing that once I got the first yes; that yes came from hard work.

You’re not alone in this fight you’re just on a different rung of the ladder. You can’t see pass your point of entry in the race of life. You are watching others instead of investing into yourself. I am a research person. The second something doesn’t pan out I began to research others or talk to others who have experienced the same thing. This is why although you don’t need a nation of folks in your business having a mentor helps you. You are in the number of those who have failed and are speaking life in dark places. You were broke but can speak financial security into your life. You might have to learn how you got into the broke phase, have a better relationship with spending, and have the mentality and spacing to do better with it. However it doesn’t change that someone else is doing the same thing and you will push through.

Mondays are hard but life is worse if all you’re focused on is what everyone else is doing! You can focus on your lane and stop inheriting the mindset that you automatically will fail. Have you ever thought about pushing through that you find yourself surprised that you failed? That’s the push daily. To work smarter and do it so consistently that you find yourself surprised you failed!

Let’s knock these thoughts of being alone out the door. Since you know that there’s someone else working hard like you do daily; don’t stop at the first sign of pushback! Trust me I look like things are working out but that’s the turn of events and the difference in rung of the ladder. This was after failing and failing so many times. This was after crying. This was after working hard and being told no and having to gather my feelings and push through again. This was definitely after being told “why you.” I had to answer the notion of why not me! I felt alone because even though I’m married my vision isn’t his vision on everything. I had to say there’s plenty of folks building from the ground. They were. They had the same levels of feelings I had. Fight like you got a crowd holding you up! Push like you got the blueprint already! Don’t give up!

Monday Motivation: National Kick Butt Day

Now know that this is about kicking ourselves in the butt to complete our goals. You know the ones that we said we would do, but we haven’t done. The ones that we aspire to complete, but we lacked motivation to complete.

Sometimes we need to have a swift kick in the behind to get us where we need to be. Today is that kick as well as that reminder that goals don’t just happen. Goals need work and participation. Goals need you to do your part. We lack ambition and it sits between desire and life happening. Sometimes life happens but if we are real we also play our part in goals dropping. If you aren’t doing what you need to do especially if you know what you are supposed to do but don’t; you are the only one who can give you that good kick to get that much closer to your goals. You know you got to stop and reclaim your time in the words of Auntie Maxine. You need to step up and refresh your why.
The time isn’t at a new year, next month, etc. the time is now. Kick start the very desires and a plan to make it happen! Eliminate the setback which inevitably will bring a sense of accomplishments into your life. Its like walking for days what you could have walked in hours. Kick yourself in the butt. You are your own worse enemy. Acknowledge your shortcoming and than use it to push you forward.

Monday Motivation: Will to Success

I find it interesting when people think that success just falls from a tree. In all of my little 38 years I’ve yet to see a success tree just give you what you want. I’ve seen hard work, dedication, and integrity get folks into places that smarts couldn’t but not a single success tree.

Sometimes what’s wrong with us is we don’t have a will to succeed. We have a desire and a wish I could but not actually a will to make things happen. A will is definitive. It’s an outline of what you want to do and normally you bring with your will is hard work and a plan. This desire to be whatever you want is simply just a desire if the will isn’t strong enough to make it happen! If your will isn’t renewed daily. If you’re not putting an action plan behind what you want. This Monday and every Monday you need to renew your will. Just like it takes a will to be where you need to sometimes getting you out of bed, use that time out of the bed to make it count. Don’t waste your moments and your days. You can find every reason to be upset about what you don’t have. However it’s better to move forward for what you need and not waste your moments giving energy to that which won’t get you to your desired life.

Today make your day what you want. If you want change than be the change. Step into what you need! Change your perspective! Will yourself your greatness!

Monday Motivation:

It’s almost a new month. It’s time to keep grinding. We are almost to the last quarter of the year. This can bring a sense of focus for some. For others it can be about a place of anguish.

What have you done for your year? What goals have you accomplished? If you have a place of panic coming up with the answers; let me give you a suggestion to help you focus and take control of your year. It can be overwhelming if you feel as if you have allowed your year to get away from you. Not every year will you crush your goals and feel like a boss. If I’m honest I’ve had some years where I felt like I didn’t do much of anything. Let’s have that moment now. That moment of not traveling enough, not working hard enough, not landing the perfect job, not getting the guy or girl you wanted…the list goes on.

Feeling like you’re not enough won’t just happen or attempt to pop up the night before the New Year. This is a daily struggle. It comes up the most when you decide to focus on those around you. Comparison can be the devil! It really is. Just trying to figure where you fit with those around you has to be checked. I mean you will forever find others doing better than you. Even those who seem to have it altogether struggle.

My suggestion is to be honest for where you are NOW! Be honest with who you are and where and why you are where you are! If you attempt to tell yourself that you should be somewhere and you’re not there it’s going to bother you! Take control of your emotions so you can find yourself able to make strategic decisions on how to finish the year out. Instead of focusing on what you didn’t do for 9 months focus on what you can do in the next 3.

I would rather finish strong for 3 than to have a full 12 on the line. You have to change your perspective. You can make great waves for the last 3 months. It’s a choice! It’s a mindset. One of the biggest stops in life isn’t in our finances, connections, or abilities but the mind. As soon as you will yourself to defeat without a reset you will wallow! Make one step towards changing your mindset and you can soar towards any goal. I would rather have myself in goal setting position than to have to start from scratch. You can make the decision today to work out and become healthier irregardless to what you haven’t done thus far. Today can be it!

So what are you going to do? Waste another 3 months worrying about the 9 months you had? Are you going to finish strong and develop long lasting new goals? How about new healthier habits for 3 months that jumps and sparks into a New Year? Your mind has to evolve from a all or nothing mentality. You will lose yourself trying to build Rome in a day instead of making sure the foundation by which Rome is built is solid! You are Rome and Rome needs stability instead of this stop and start mentality.

Picking up 3 projects just for the sake of saying you did it isn’t the answer! Finishing goals is! Knowing your foundation is laid is the key. Instead of a quick diet plan you replace it with lifetime choices. Nothing worse than dropping weight fast and having it come back faster! You can drop the weight in all areas of your life by building a stable foundation to help you maintain what you get.

So let’s refocus on what’s really important. Slow building with the right foundation will help you maintain when others who tinkered past you collapse. You can be the tortoise but you got to be smart. The ideal is to work smarter not harder! To work efficiently and not lazily! You got this. Bow break out that pen and make some promises to yourself. Write it down and then write down how to make it happen. Wake up daily and push towards it! Let’s put blinders on watching others pass you. When you see it have solid folks on your team that will check your back into stability! You can make it happen! Let’s refocus this last quarter!

Monday Motivation: Human Interaction

Happy Monday! I’m coming to you today with a mid morning reminder. As I was at events this past weekend I had someone say along the lines: “why were you so nice to them?” I believe I had told a PR agent that I was flexible and not to worry about how anything appeared and I was more than willing to adjust. The young lady took it as me being a push over.

I remained calm in letting her know that keeping in mind that regardless of what was occurring (which by the way wasn’t anything serious) my job in life regardless of what I am doing or where I am is to be in charge of how I interact with others. We all have bad days and bad moments and at no time did I need to go out of my way to give attitude, smirks or anything of the like to another person.

Regardless of heat, issue, etc. it’s not fair to dish out bad vibes to those around me who undeserving of such behaviors. I let her know that there are always folks willing to be nasty, mean, arrogant and as someone who chose to be in the public eye to a certain degree how someone comes into contact with me matters. That doesn’t mean that I’m above being human. It does require for me not to ever forget that above being a blogger, an influencer, a mom, a wife-I’m responsible for how I treat others around me! I am responsible for how I talk to others. Doing things like coming off stuck up is not apart of the package. I treat others with the same level of care that I would want in return!

So on this Monday be clear that when you think no one is watching that they are. I am glad that instead of taking offense to her question I was able to listen and have great dialogue with her. I didn’t want her to have a bad interaction with me but I was glad to be able to remind her too that no one deserves the worse of us at any time for no reason. Remind yourself of that too. The world has enough bad apples don’t be that. Be as positive as you can especially when you’re around others!!