Monday Motivation: Coachability or New Coach?!

It’s another Monday! Another reset! Another week to make better plans and amazing achievements. Time to get focus! Last week we talked about Burn out and this week we need to talk about being coachable!

Being able to be coached is key to any success. No one is just born with all the tools. As a blogger there are other bloggers that I look up to! I am always willing to ask questions. I’m willing to listen AND receive criticism. These are just the basics of being able to be coached. If you think that you can’t humble yourself and get tips to be better it’s a quick down fall coming your way. We all can improve.

It’s okay to be able to ask the hard questions and be willing to receive the answers we say we seek. Some of my blogger friends have sent suggestions my way that I do my best to immediately implement. When I went to the Blogher conference recently I learned tips and tools to make my blog stronger to increase visibility. It wasn’t a matter of “I’ve been doing this for 5 years.” 5 years or 5 minutes I still have the ability to listen and change!

Have you ever seen a know it all? They get defensive the minute you offer a suggestion even they are the ones who asked! They get mean and loud as if what you are giving them means they can’t be better or that you want to tear them down to nothing! Criticism can either hurt your feelings and tear your dream or hurt your feelings and make you better-you have a choice. I had someone say “why you!” That hurt my feelings but it helped to push me not leave me wounded and stagnant! Every last one of us has the ability to coach the next one behind us and the ability to have someone coach us. It should work hand-in-hand.

Don’t let criticism bind you and the gift inside of you. It’s like a person who can sing but allows someone who thinks they can’t stop them. Trust me the gift inside you wants to come out. You can hide for a long time but eventually someone is going to hear you sing and remind you of the gift you keep locked away out of fear of criticism. Being coached is like having someone in your corner being a backbone of love and encouragement! That’s the way it should be. Even if a coach delivers a hard blow it should still feel like love!!!

Coach or Hinderance

I said above that even when you have a coach that has to deliver bad news it should feel like love be careful when you have someone on your team who get joy out of delivering the bad and don’t follow up with love. Tough love is beautiful but it should come from a vessel who has the ability to know the difference between pulling back and going forward. I’m amazing of the amount of people who have people on their team that they KNOW don’t mean them well so they can be seen as loyal. If your loyalty to them is dependent on you taking each and every hit that’s not a coach that’s an enemy in your camp! Clean house! Get these types of folks off the team!

Is your Coach Qualified?

Being able to listen and take in change is key but having the right balance of a coach is equally important. Being coachable also means not selecting a coach based on favorites. Make sure that the coach you believe in your life is also qualified. Would you have a fitness coach that ate wrong, overweight, and showed up when they felt like it lead you to a weight loss journey? Would you allow someone who was known to have public financial problems be your financial advisor? Would you let someone who couldn’t swim teach you to swim? No! Stop letting unqualified folks take you places they have no authority being in. You might not even have a problem being coached you might have the wrong coach in your life. Be clear!

Start this Monday asking some serious questions. Ask yourself if you’re not able to allow someone to help you because you need to humble yourself to receive. If after you deem yourself coachable ask yourself is the coach in your life authorized to take you to a new level? Don’t waste your time only getting the folks who never challenge you to be better. The ones who spend more time breaking you down but not being able to ever speak love into your life.

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Monday Motivation: You’re Not Alone

One of the things that messes with our mindset at any given time no matter the differences we face is that we are alone. We are the only one going through hard times. Everyone else is advancing and we are left alone. This is false. We are all touched by quire a few common issues. What you’re seeing is people on different rungs of the ladder.

When you feel like you’re on the bottom it’s hard to imagine even moving up. You start to get upset. You find fault in those around you because they should have done more to pull you out. News flash folks got their own issues they are pushing through. You might not always find a hand. The feeling of defeat is real. It’s upsetting to feel like you’re being picked on or isolated.

I want to encourage you today that there’s nothing you have gone or are flint through that someone else hasn’t passed the test. When I was in the thick of any trial it was my mindset that kept me down longer than the circumstances allowed. After the whole self defeating talk didn’t take me out; my self confidence or lack thereof was pushing me to my lowest point.

It’s hard to see greatness in a dark place. I get it. I have been there but you have to know even when you can’t see it; don’t give up. Don’t totally fall apart even when you feel like falling apart is comfortable. Being uncomfortable and pushing past that especially when I had nothing to lose made me the best version of myself. Hearing no a thousand times made me frustrated, sad, envious, and angry. It still birthed a sense of knowing that once I got the first yes; that yes came from hard work.

You’re not alone in this fight you’re just on a different rung of the ladder. You can’t see pass your point of entry in the race of life. You are watching others instead of investing into yourself. I am a research person. The second something doesn’t pan out I began to research others or talk to others who have experienced the same thing. This is why although you don’t need a nation of folks in your business having a mentor helps you. You are in the number of those who have failed and are speaking life in dark places. You were broke but can speak financial security into your life. You might have to learn how you got into the broke phase, have a better relationship with spending, and have the mentality and spacing to do better with it. However it doesn’t change that someone else is doing the same thing and you will push through.

Mondays are hard but life is worse if all you’re focused on is what everyone else is doing! You can focus on your lane and stop inheriting the mindset that you automatically will fail. Have you ever thought about pushing through that you find yourself surprised that you failed? That’s the push daily. To work smarter and do it so consistently that you find yourself surprised you failed!

Let’s knock these thoughts of being alone out the door. Since you know that there’s someone else working hard like you do daily; don’t stop at the first sign of pushback! Trust me I look like things are working out but that’s the turn of events and the difference in rung of the ladder. This was after failing and failing so many times. This was after crying. This was after working hard and being told no and having to gather my feelings and push through again. This was definitely after being told “why you.” I had to answer the notion of why not me! I felt alone because even though I’m married my vision isn’t his vision on everything. I had to say there’s plenty of folks building from the ground. They were. They had the same levels of feelings I had. Fight like you got a crowd holding you up! Push like you got the blueprint already! Don’t give up!

Monday Motivation: Will to Success

I find it interesting when people think that success just falls from a tree. In all of my little 38 years I’ve yet to see a success tree just give you what you want. I’ve seen hard work, dedication, and integrity get folks into places that smarts couldn’t but not a single success tree.

Sometimes what’s wrong with us is we don’t have a will to succeed. We have a desire and a wish I could but not actually a will to make things happen. A will is definitive. It’s an outline of what you want to do and normally you bring with your will is hard work and a plan. This desire to be whatever you want is simply just a desire if the will isn’t strong enough to make it happen! If your will isn’t renewed daily. If you’re not putting an action plan behind what you want. This Monday and every Monday you need to renew your will. Just like it takes a will to be where you need to sometimes getting you out of bed, use that time out of the bed to make it count. Don’t waste your moments and your days. You can find every reason to be upset about what you don’t have. However it’s better to move forward for what you need and not waste your moments giving energy to that which won’t get you to your desired life.

Today make your day what you want. If you want change than be the change. Step into what you need! Change your perspective! Will yourself your greatness!

Monday Motivation: Human Interaction

Happy Monday! I’m coming to you today with a mid morning reminder. As I was at events this past weekend I had someone say along the lines: “why were you so nice to them?” I believe I had told a PR agent that I was flexible and not to worry about how anything appeared and I was more than willing to adjust. The young lady took it as me being a push over.

I remained calm in letting her know that keeping in mind that regardless of what was occurring (which by the way wasn’t anything serious) my job in life regardless of what I am doing or where I am is to be in charge of how I interact with others. We all have bad days and bad moments and at no time did I need to go out of my way to give attitude, smirks or anything of the like to another person.

Regardless of heat, issue, etc. it’s not fair to dish out bad vibes to those around me who undeserving of such behaviors. I let her know that there are always folks willing to be nasty, mean, arrogant and as someone who chose to be in the public eye to a certain degree how someone comes into contact with me matters. That doesn’t mean that I’m above being human. It does require for me not to ever forget that above being a blogger, an influencer, a mom, a wife-I’m responsible for how I treat others around me! I am responsible for how I talk to others. Doing things like coming off stuck up is not apart of the package. I treat others with the same level of care that I would want in return!

So on this Monday be clear that when you think no one is watching that they are. I am glad that instead of taking offense to her question I was able to listen and have great dialogue with her. I didn’t want her to have a bad interaction with me but I was glad to be able to remind her too that no one deserves the worse of us at any time for no reason. Remind yourself of that too. The world has enough bad apples don’t be that. Be as positive as you can especially when you’re around others!!

Monday Motivation: It’s Not That Easy

Nothing in life will be. Everything comes from a place of working hard. I’m amazed at the two extremes that people use the term “it’s not that easy.”

People use it’s not that easy when they want to highlight their accomplishments. It’s true when you work your behind off the last thing you need is someone coming with the discredit. It’s humiliating to be honest to put energy and backing into something only to have someone who by the way doesn’t like you to discredit your efforts. I would say often times it’s the ones that closest to you or those you let your guard down the most with. The ones you might have shared a dream or conversation about a dream with. They know that you’re not qualified but they don’t see your passions working behind the scene. None of which, can stop you unless your fuel needs to come from pats on your back! If that is the case you’re going to burn out fast. People’s attention span aren’t strong enough to hold all of your accolades in their forefront until your winning season pushes through. When winning season comes people become like magnets and want to meet up, link up, and talk. Always remember the times you couldn’t even get them to answer an email, a call, or smoke screen. That doesn’t mean be brand new it just means don’t rush to meet them so they can drink off of your success!

The other time people use it’s not easy is when they want to discredit their own ability to push through a difficult situation and usually about trauma or hardship. Example, “it’s not that easy to walk away.” When in reality it may not be but the consequences of staying is greater than the stagnant of staying. This could be staying in a relationship, bad job, not attending or finishing school, starting a dream job or passion. It applies to you when you are pulling at available and readily available excuses. You can make more excuses than a little bit! End it today. You can have zero knowledge about a dream but wake up and feel that dream on your mind. You know you have to walk in it but don’t let fear of rejection, intimidation, or acceptance stop you!

Nothing in life will just fall into line without proper backing of energy that has to come from inside of you. Whatever you are after this week go and grab it. Work hard for it! Push through! Be consistent! Manage your emotions and those around you! Say no a few times. No is a small but powerful word that successful people learn to use! Put a wedge in-between those who sit and listen to your dreams in hopes to deter you from working hard. If the people you speak to don’t encourage and in addition have zero resources to assist, why are you speaking to them? What can they do?

You got this! You can crush it! You can win! Work smarter not harder! Push through even when it’s difficult, hard, or makes you feel like you’re not going to win-you will!!

Monday Motivation: Gather Yourself

So today I did my normal wake up in a great mode. Put on music. Wake the kids with love and a healthy dose of sarcasm while declaring a great day.  All of my intentions were in the right place, but the way life is set up….

close up of drink served on white surface

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I really almost took a mental health day. The type of day when you say oh well and you get into the bed and act like the day isn’t in full swing. These days are super necessary when you really need them. However with all that I had on my plate I had to take a few minutes to gather myself. Stop and pray, control my mouth, retract my thoughts….and still the day went left. I would love to tell you that the day just got better but it hasn’t… fully.  Will it? I am not sure it matters. It wasn’t in the gathering of myself that was going to make the day great, it was just in the press. When you attempt to keep your mind clear and your heart pure it seems as if life will just cooperate.  That  is false advertisement. Things go left and that is what it does.  We live another moment to change our perspective and make things right!

woman standing by closed shutter door

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Today and any other day I am still responsible for my thought patterns and my responses no matter what is going on around me. That little nugget is for those who say well my day sucks so I…. SO you what? You can spew negativity onto the world due to your disposition? NOPE. SO you can make those around you miserable? NOPE. SO you can go to work dumping your nasty attitude on others? NOPE.  You are supposed to remain in control of you at all times even when the traffic is backed up, your coffee was made with milk instead of almond work, and you get to work almost an hour late like I did. You have to remain in control with the ones in your home push indirectly their issues onto you. You have to gather yourself. I didn’t have to gather my words this morning in my house because I got to a corner, prayed, and realigned myself.  I know we all have bad Mondays but that Monday blues can be worked out. You can gather and reset in the midst of total chaos.

So if your day looks like mine did-there is hope. It doesn’t mean that gathering yourself will bring bountiful blessings in that immediate moment but you also don’t have to bring chaos to those around you until your day levels out.  Will it level out? Eventually but you can either delay that blessing with bad attitudes, bad responses, and spewing negativity on others while you wait without pressing. Press because that’s what adults do. Press because you owe it to yourself to not waste another minute on this Earth in a negative mindset. You owe yourself all the love and peace you can surround with!

I can happily report that the coffee chain that messed up my order refunded me almost double what I paid….the day is picking up and I hope yours is too! Lets do this Monday!

Monday Motivation: Light a Fire

Light a fire today. Never let others control your outcome. We do too much complaining about things that aren’t right and not enough making moves. You don’t like your job? Light a fire……under you. Not the job! Get a new one. Have a plan. When you tired it shows in your actions. You light a fire and make things happen.

heart shaped candle

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You don’t like your weight? Light a fire. Don’t sit around talking bad to yourself. Get up and use that idle time to work out. I used to work out to Khloe Kardashian’s “Revenge Body.”  This was after dropping weight. Sometimes I would listen with my ear phones on but it motivated me to move more. It motivated to see the reasons why I gained the weight and work on the inside out. I no longer sit talking about my arms is getting big, I light the fire and work on them. If my thigh or any other part of my body is bothering me I get to work on them.

You don’t like your relationship? Work on you actively and in addition suggest couples counseling while you get personal counseling. He/she unwilling to attend, you have your answer. Faith without works is dead you can’t simply pray good behavior into another individual. Either love is worth fighting for the right way or it has to be set aside. I fail to believe that all this living to be done is meant to be spent arguing and being miserable with an individual who doesn’t mean you well.

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I know the number one issue with lighting a fire is depression. That is why things like bad jobs, weight, relationships, and goals seem hard to achieve because you have allowed your mindset to take over. Your mind has made a nest of negativity and you don’t have the mental strength to move. Well your first light of fire needs to be a certified counselor or therapist. It will be hard. I hate when people paint happy pictures of people attending therapy. But all that bad has to come out. Often times you leave hurt. You leave empty. Its a process, but one that is worth the journey. What do you have to lose? Everything-like a fire!

Whatever you need today, light a fire. Get up off of your do nothing and take a few steps. Make a few calls. Send out a few hundred resumes but get the fire started. Every day you should be doing something to ignite fire in your life and in your soul. So light up the gifts inside of you, work on you, and make life happen. The only excuse you have is you. So stop making them. Get back into life and light a fire in your soul to make life beautiful!