World Gratitude Day

Everyday is a day to be grateful! Not some days when the chips are up but everyday single day! It takes so much to forget gratefulness but it’s important!

Let me tell you what I am grateful for:

  • Life: a few years ago I should have been gone a few times but I’m here so I’m looking forward to living
  • My kids: nothing is more important than them. They are my world and I treat them as such!
  • My husband: he irks me to no end but he’s mine and I’m grateful for the portion of being married
  • Employment: so many folks want to be working and can’t and to have the ability to gain money is a blessing
  • Blogging: the ability to enjoy what I do and consistently in it
  • Family: I have so many awesome family members who are super supportive and caring
  • Fall coming: I can’t wait for sweaters, sweats
  • Fitness: I have a race per month the ability to run and work out I do not take for granted
  • Friendships: my circle of girlfriends have gotten so much tighter and I love them and grateful for the sister-ship

So what are you grateful for? I could list a thousand things because everyday that you wake up is a blessing. I choose to wake up and find joy into anything. Sometimes it’s hard. There are trials and tests that I don’t pass daily. I can admit that. But I am grateful for the ability that if I do mess up, I can always try again.

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Monday Motivation: Healing with no Cheerleaders

Remember that we are all going through something. While you’re healing others around you don’t always recover as fast as you. While it would be great that as you continue to crush the very things that used to hold you captive, others around you may not fully be on board but don’t let it stop you!

We love strength in numbers! However when dealing with personal struggles those numbers may not always be the way you want them. You might find that you’re cheering squad may decrease. You got to keep going. Don’t wait until a boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or friend believes in your change the same way you are attempting to live! Remember they have seen you at your worse. You’re one day, of change can be a catalyst for permanent change. The folks around you only see you as what they are used to you being. It will suck! You will get mad and then play the blame game about the level of support you believe you should have. However your change was for you and will benefit you the most. No one is going to be as happy for you like you. This doesn’t mean those around you can’t be happy for you! It’s only means that if you’re the type that has to have your squad to propel you, this will be an issue for you and could hinder your progress if you let it.

Press when you have no one like you would when you have an army behind you. Choose yourself instead of being held down by the lack of people in your corner. Sometimes when the dust clears, the folks that were an hinderance won’t be there. The pain of your squad changing will hurt like no other. But you can get through it. Your squad can be replaced, but staying the same as you were shouldn’t be on hold until that takes place. Keep pushing! Keep striving! Keep the same energy even with tears in your eyes. Choose you!!

National Blame Someone and National Positive Thinking

How do these two days go together?  They don’t but they do. Positive thinking can change how you see what others have done and although its easier to blame someone sometimes you have to take a look in the mirror at yourself.  We are sometimes our biggest enemy.  The way we talk to ourselves, handle ourselves, and do for ourselves can come from how we think.

Today I am encouraging every reader to take some stock.  I have said so many times in many blogs and it is true that sometimes my ability to blame others stopped me from being able to call a spade a spade in my own life.  I was caught up more in who the message was from instead of the message itself.  However I feel like my life took a turn for the better when I took the time to address myself.  How I was thinking wasn’t healthy for me and those around me.

black and white person woman old

Photo by Shashank Kumawat on Pexels.com

Positive thinking is hard for some who only have a negative mindset.  We all know them.  You can say the sun is bright and they will say it’s too hot.  You can say I can’t wait to hang out with friends and they say ugh I don’t even have any.  This is draining depending on what stage of life you are on.  If you find that you constantly are high fiving and in agreement with a negative Nancy in your life, its only because you are just as negative in your own life.

toddler with red adidas sweat shirt

Photo by mohamed Abdelgaffar on Pexels.com

I find when I forget to be grateful about my life its easy to dip into negativity.  All of sudden I get less patient, my temper is flared, and then my speech changes.  I start doubting myself and simple tasks are hard.  Negativity has a way at eating at productivity.  You cant attack your goals with a negative mindset and although you want to blame circumstances and situations the person that is at fault is you.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

So lets take charge of ourselves and not point the finger out but point the finger in and change our mindset!

Sunday Message: That’s Just How they Are…

Listen there are a number of folks that do not like me. I am okay with it. The feeling may even be mutual. However what I won’t tolerate is mistreatment of kids whether they mine or not. Kids will forever be off-limits for eva. I don’t understand why any adult thinks it’s okay to involve kids in the midst of adult issues?! Besides kids is the inability for those who like to start issues and play mannequin when you don’t want to deal with their excuse of “that’s how I am” anymore, be vigilant.

I’ve had some bold ones use the excuse of that’s just how so and so is. I’m looking at them like ok ma and? (In my Jayz voice) Just because you are of a certain age is not the prerequisite to be disrespectful. I know the older you get the more your give a care is alerted, but out right nastiness is not going to be tolerated in this day and age when folks is trying to be on the do better. Be aware of those who won’t change and meet you in the middle especially when they are the culprit or the initiator of an issue. My mom used to say they “throw rocks and hide their hands.”

These are the same types of folks that get amnesia after they have done something and can’t understand why you don’t want to deal with them. They will make themselves the victim after offering up a petty apology and then tell others that at least they said sorry. Watch them. They are the same ones who generally are found in drama. Remove yourself from them.

If that’s how you are and you’re:

Mean

Ignorant

Uncaring

Selfish

Drama filled

These are the some of the things I don’t want to just deal with! It’s not up to me as a receiver to deal with. This is a personal issue that you can leave alone and force those around you to either take or take off. You don’t get to spew foolishness on others and then hide behind that’s apart of personality and dare someone to stick with you when you aren’t attempting to change!

Let me say I found this hard lesson a few years ago within myself. I had to come to grips even when the mirror was being held to me from a source I could have easily dismissed. I had to realize that the person’s tactics was wrong in their delivery but the truth was in the middle. So I separated myself and did my own work. Sometimes it takes that to get things right. However continuing to defend my own bad behavior or those around me isn’t being accountable either.

Be accountable for you! You know what was said about you was true! You know you have things that rub folks the wrong way in your home and outside of your home. Your personality can take you places and it can also deny you entry to places as well. Be honest with yourself. My mom always said “everyone ain’t telling the same lie.” So if you’re hearing recurring messages about you, it may be time to take inventory.

Do not be discouraged. It will hurt when you accept the things about yourself. But push through it. Trust me when you do stop taking excuses from yourself its super easy to hold those around you to the same standards. When I hear excuses I just mark people. I realize they aren’t at the point of receiving. I don’t necessarily cut them off about it until their behavior becomes toxic. Once it becomes toxic I don’t have to entertain it on the strength of any relationship.

I’ve been reading blogs by other bloggers about toxic mothers lately. These are men and women who believe that their mothers are toxic. I don’t think there is a higher relationship outside of a love interest on Earth than a mother. If people are willing to separate the toxicity that a mother can bring I think you can separate from a friend, associate, coworker or any other family relationship. No one is worth your peace. No one is worth that level of stress.

We have to be careful of what we project. Sometimes you can mean well and think you are being true to yourself and come off with attitudes, stuck up etc. Being who you want to be is crucial in self-development. If who you are coming off is not what you want others to take away from an interaction with you than it’s time to find a better delivery or do an inward search. Our delivery around certain people could be nervousness. Like when you go on your first date and you’re super nervous and awkward. If it’s that, you can work on it. If you’re always show boating, speaking ill of others, demeaning, or rude that is all about who you are inside. Those things need worked on.

I pray this Sunday message that you look inward and deal so you can deal with those around you. In dealing with those around you do not allow the excuses of “this is just who I am take it or leave,” sway you. You may have to take them up on that offer and simply leave it, and leave them alone. It doesn’t have to be a final chapter close. It could be seasonal. Don’t accept the excuses from yourself or those around you!

Summer Recap

So Labor Day means it’s officially unofficially the end of Summer. I want to thank all of my tan lines that kept this melanin poppin! FYI black folks will tan or get darker like anyone exposed to the sun. Skin care all Summer long meant moisturizer for my skin type and lots of sunblock that should be worn all year round! I love being in the heat, the sun, and any form of water. Not even heat waves had me complaining! With that being said, let’s recap parts of my Summer.

Did you say Brunch?!

I love love brunch. If you say let’s brunch I’m on Pinterest getting my life together and happily ready in no time. I don’t know if it’s the care free of it all but I love it. I’m type of girl that if one of my friends got me flowers and took me to brunch I would be the happiest girl on the planet. None the least between brunching with the fam bam, to brunching with my girls, I def got my Summer brunch on! I look forward to some awesome Fall brunches with different flavors of the season!

Water anyone?!

In addition to Summer brunches I had an awesome time in the water. The only thing I could not schedule this year was my solo beach trip!! There’s still a few warm moments in the upcoming month or so and I will attempt to fit it in. Between so much transition and my kids I could not find the time. However I didn’t complain about it and enjoyed a lot of water days this season!

We Are……

I was able to have a college reunion with some of my best friends and framily at Penn State University. I was able to take my twin and niece along too! What a weekend full of great drinks, a little adult night out, time with framily, and watching the kids enjoy some of what I think makes Penn State one of the best things I’ve done with my life so far! And of course you can never leave campus without their world known famous ice cream made fresh on campus!!! Shout out to Peachy Paterno I’m still in heaven!!

Hey Boo!

Nothing is better than boo loving, date nights and attending one of the best concerts of the Summer, On the Run Tour 2 with Bey and Jay!!

Family time

We are always together and creating memories from the Ice-cream Festival, fireworks, Sky-zone and movie nights there’s nothing us Storr family can’t get into!

Photo Pop Philly

I can’t explain the instant happy that I experienced from walking into this interactive photo dream! I saw it online and had to attend. This pop up art exhibit was well out together and even had changes to it during its time! I must shout out to all of the artists who slayed each set! Anytime I’m having a down moment I can look back at my photos and have an instant smile! FYI a little plus their last day will be Monday September 3rd! To get tickets you can log on: Photo pop Philly

And I had the best time with friends too. I always do! Friends is like the family you get to choose and boy do I have some great ones!

Hey Mark!

One of the highlights of the Summer was seeing my cousin Mark! I miss him so much but he doesn’t live close. I can truly say that my heart has been made whole and I only saw him for a little minute. However when you have someone who is everything to you, you could see them a few minutes and it feel like a lifetime!

All and I I have so many more pictures from so many events this Summer! I can not complain that I didn’t live my best life! I truly enjoyed what Summer had to offer! I plan on continuing the patterns all Fall! So you know you will see some of the awesome events I already have planned. My family knows we about to be at some of our favs super soon! Trust me I’ll give you a glimpse!

So we say Summer as it closes, you have been good to us!!

Pressure

Pressure makes diamonds. It’s a hard process. Pressure in our lives can do amazing things. It can be the fire you needed to start a new business or to help you to reach a deadline. It’s necessary and usually it’s side of stress that comes along for the ride. You have to understand that it’s normal but how you respond to it can be a huge difference from stress that overloads you or takes you out.

Stress is a killer. Over working and never taking breaks is not good. Sometimes we take breaks and use those breaks as mini sessions of stress. You need moments or relief. You can not down yourself 24 hours in a day and then say this is how I get things done. You’re not a machine. You need affirmations along the journey to make it. You can’t simply be a Debbie Downer all the time and expect to get a result!

Take the pressure you are in and find ways to deal with it. If you have a deadline work on completing it and then learn to reward yourself after. It’s okay to celebrate you. When I completed my latest blog for Greenide. I got up the day it was to be submitted to edit. I had to wait until the day of to see it with fresh eyes. When it was done I was able to grab an iced coffee and blast a song! It was a small reward for the pressure I was under.

How about when I parent my kids. There are too many moments when pressure was up and stress was right there attempting to wear me down. I’ve talked numerous times about my kids being in the hospital and sick. My job on the line and having to find a balance. However I thought it was wrong to be happy not for my child getting better but for me for not buckling under pressure. That was so backwards. I had survived having to deal with Human Resources and I had survived bosses who didn’t fully understand or understood but had to keep business as is and sadly my situation had no loops for sincere care.

How about at work the pressure to always be “on.” The pressure if you’re looking for work and being told no. That is pressure. It’s stressful but hard work will pay off.

Let’s acknowledge that pressure and stress! Let’s find ways to handle it and find ways to combat it when we can. Let’s reward ourselves when you do something well. You don’t have to be in a funeral state of mind where you down everything that you do or the steps you take!

Don’t let others put pressure on you either. God knows you can take yourself out! Pressure is necessary within reason! Keep it in check! Talk to someone when you’re overwhelmed. Seek help it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s okay to say no to a few things. Self-care is necessary daily. Love yourself. Seek a few moments of quiet times at least once a day!

Monday Motivation: What are your Intentions?

It’s amazing that in this technology driven world we forget some simple basics. I too had to go to the old landmark of writing down my goals and the steps I was using to achieve them. It’s okay to have technology but don’t forget to be clear with intentions.

Intentions are goals that you set for yourself. It’s not a list of stats that a lot of folks use for instance when they are dating. It’s super clear goals and an action plan. For instance if you’re losing weight you write where you are, where you are headed, and your action plan. As much as speaking your intentions matter so does writing them down and being pro ACTIVE!

This notion of simply having a good idea but not wanting to do the work is so backwards. Rarely do businesses, desires, or dreams just happen without hard work, failure, and sometimes rejection but we daydream it could just happen so easily!! Take the time to write your vision and then begin looking into how to make it happen for you! You will then get linked to the right people and places, etc.

Intentions and actions plans is what separates the talkers from the doers. So where do you stand? Are you a slick talker whose been saying for years you are gonna, but have no action plan in place?! Are you a doer whose been just trying things but don’t have things written? You can be a runaway train doing the most and frustrated cause you’re doing things out of sync. Writing things down will help you focus your steps!

This Monday, be clear in what you want and where you want to be and not just at New Years Eve. Go back and review your written goals. Instead of being mad and down about what you haven’t completed, find ways to renew your goal or sit and think if this goal was outside of what was to happen foe you. If you find it’s still a dream you want to accomplish then roll up your sleeves and make it happen. Be clear in your goals and put some ACTION behind it!