Not So Motherly Mother

So we are definitely in Mother’s Day official weekend. This means that restaurants are about to make a killing along with flower shops and stores in general. There is a small amount of people who dread this weekend and it’s those who have raggedy no account moms. Oops! Yes there are some out there. The ones who left kids. The ones who keep up so much drama nobody wants to be around. The ones who have even taken their kids lives, or harmed them in some deep way.

We give people a hard time for their experiences with their mom. I was always taught to respect a parent regardless of their lack of parenting. I think this is true. I do think you can have a mom who is no account and say thanks for getting me here and leave it at that. The amount of folks that do not talk to their mom has increased as more people realize that the title of Mom doesn’t exclude them from the demons they have left in their name. Some do not associate with their mom. All of the ones with good moms look down on them but I would like to present a different side to the situation.

You can say thanks to your mom and not have a relationship if the situation warrants it. Not speaking could come from a number of things. It could be from misunderstanding or it could be from trying over and over again to make things right only to have things be wrong. A moms love should be unconditional but some have never felt that from their mom so it’s hard to understand the notion. When a person who has a mom who simply does things that they don’t like, they can work through it easier than someone who has never experienced the sacrifice and love that a mom shows.

If you and your mom are able to make it work than you should attempt. However there comes a point when a mom isn’t motherly and you have decided that doing little as possible so that you don’t further go into conflict is what’s best for you. If that is the case then you should do what works for you. Everyone doesn’t have loving mothers. We have to stop acting as if that is the case all the time. It is not! Not everyone can get along with their mothers! You can give respect and leave some distance if that is what you need.

If you are experiencing these issues with your mom I really do hope you are getting some form of help from a licensed professional. They can help you heal without apology. Sometimes we look for or need one and if you’re dealing with someone mother or no who is no account you may not get one. You also need not spew your issues on other. This could mean siblings or outsiders who don’t have the same issues that you do or even siblings who do have the same issues. You don’t need others to understand why you feel the way you do. This generation always needs validation but honestly how can someone high-five your pain?! They can’t.

They don’t know what’s it like to feel frustrated with no one to vent to. They don’t know the anger thee creeps in when you feel like you have to be the bigger person to a mother who should know better and act better. They don’t know what it’s like to wish you had a different mom but also want the mom you have but she won’t align herself in a better way! They don’t understand being grown but feeling like a helpless child where your mom plays the victim and you need answers!

For the ones who are hurting more as you see others love on their mothers and you feel the pain of emptiness please know that I get that it’s real! Please do not feel like you have to spend the weekend justifying yourself. My prayer is that even if you can’t get to a place where you and your mom can work through the issues together than at least you can be grateful for her giving you life. I would hope one day things can be worked on but what folks don’t get is that it takes two people to make that happen! One person doing the work only helps one person. Grace won’t cover what you won’t reveal!

Please invest in a journal or something where you can write down these feelings. Also if you have a mother figure that you look up to, then see if you can spend that time with them. Another suggestion would be to find a happy place and go there. It could be a favorite coffee shop, the beach, a bookstore, just get there! Find ways to practice self-care daily and increase it this weekend!

To the hurting! I pray personal peace and a lot of self-care this weekend to get you through not just this holiday but through life!

To my readers who are experiencing this pain I pray peace and love!!

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Mother’s Day Gift Giving Guide

Mother’s Day is around the corner literally and the struggle to get mom the perfect gift is on.  I have a few suggestions to help you along the way, but first let’s think what would mom want.  The gift that you give should be about making mom smile.  No amount of gifts will ever pay your mom or even can contribute to the amount of love that your mom gives to you and has given to you.  But be creative and think about HER.  This is the time to make her smile.  Do not get your mom anything related to health unless she has requested it.  I am a fit mom or trying to be it would not offend me because I am actively on that journey.  However showing up with a fitbit for a mom who is not ready for that or hasn’t expressed it could send mom into a whirlwind.  She may need it but the day is for things SHE wants.  Tread light on gifts that could be offensive.  Moms are still women and women and their body image is an issue.  Let mom get to a point than support her but Mother’s Day may not be the time.

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  1. Flowers-even if your mom gives you the whole I don’t want or need anything nothing says thanks than a flowers.  They are a simple but thoughtful gesture that makes everyone’s day.  There are flower stands all over the place even some along the road.  Don’t go to moms without any.
  2. Hand written notes even in cares are still appreciated.  Moms want to know what’s on your heart.  Cards are beautiful and a lot of moms save them but your words are best.
  3. Gift cards-If you get them and they can be gotten just about anywhere at least make sure they are stores she likes.  Please do not get her something that you want.  That is not cool. Let mom do her thing and shop and get what she wants.
  4. Macaroni Pictures-these are okay if your child is in elementary school, however if you are grown and you are making her something let it be from the heart and not something you scribbled down last-minute.  She is worth energy in your creativity.
  5. Upgrades-if you plan on getting mom a tablet or new phone do try to program it and spend some time helping her operate it.
  6. Church-moms love seeing their kids in church.  So go if you can.  Expect the parking lots to be full between Mothers day, Easter and Christmas these are high church times.
  7. Food-get upgraded favorites.  This is the time where mom can indulge in a few tasty treats.  Chocolate is good so make it a good purchase for her.  She would appreciate it.
  8. If you have small children and even if you’re co-parenting, she may not be your mom but you can help your child or children get her something nice. Kids don’t have jobs but they do understand getting mom something.  Don’t disappoint your child trying to “stick” it to your child’s mother.  You may not like her but you laid down and had a baby honor her for the work she puts in when you don’t have the responsibility of having to do most of the care for your child.
  9. Give mom a break-do you know that allowing her to go out WITHOUT the kids for a few hours is a gift in itself.  How about a nap?  How about dinner cooked if you don’t want to brave the restaurants?  Anything that takes the load off of her would be super appreciated.
  10. Pampering-if your mom loves a little manicure or pedicure or maybe she’s so busy handling it all that she doesn’t have the time, a certificate to get these things done is great, or make her appointment and take her there.  Relaxation is always a great idea.

The idea is taking some time to love on mom.  Don’t make it about you.  Make it about her.  Give her a break. Show up with flowers.  There are so many that wish they could give flowers to their mom and instead will have to give flowers on a grave.  While you still have her, shower her with love and gifts.  She deserves them!! Happy Mother’s Day to all the ladies that put in that hard work when appreciation is far and few!!!

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Mother’s Day Do NOTS

So yes it’s Mother’s Day and the day can be super beautiful however there are a few things you don’t want to do:

  1. If a woman isn’t pregnant or at least hasn’t confirmed it with you, do NOT ask her when she is ready to have some.  Not every woman wants a kid.  This day can actually be hard for women who have been trying to have kids and for whatever reason can’t.  It’s simple, don’t ask about another woman’s uterus.  Let me help you out further, its called MIND YOUR BUSINESS.  It doesn’t matter if it your daughter in law, cousin, etc do NOT ask.  It’s non of your concern.  You are not helping by asking.  You are being OFFENSIVE.  I said it and it’s true.  MIND your own business.
  2. Don’t call mom-everyone knows you have to at least call.  So for those who still have her here, call her.  There are moms who have strained relationships that don’t get calls from their kids even on these types of days.  Its unfortunate.  You and your mom don’t have to agree but you can agree to say thanks and hi.
  3. Please refrain from male bashing.  I know it’s mom day and its a day of reflection. Some use this day to come at the father of their kids to remind him of what you do. Let me give you some advice, that man knows and some how will not care.  Stop wasting your energy on him.  Enjoy your day.  Yes you do a lot or even all of the work, but coming at his neck won’t make him realize the error of his ways. Tagging him all day on social media won’t either.  If you have been fine this far without him, keep it pushing.  Why even give him your energy?!
  4. Do not give your kids a hard time about the gifts gotten.  There is a mom would love your portion.  Stop with the pressure.  Not everyone can afford to lavish their mom with diamonds.  I love my mom and if I had it like that I would give her the world. However some moms make it a big extra where the giving comes from a place of not wanting to hear your mouth over real desire to show love.  Take it easy on your family and loved ones.  It’s not a competition.
  5. Chain mom posts.  We are beautiful mom, the tag a beautiful mom is not needed. We all work hard.  We all provide constant love for those who choose to.  Do not send chain texts.  We ALL know what day it is.  I am surrounded by a lot of amazing women in my life and a great network of mom friends.  I actually send them individual texts if I don’t call.  I know they are all being loved on but individual texts makes it more personal.  Not only that 9 times out of 10 you don’t even change the name and they know.  If you love them like that, them send them amazing text messages and leave it at that.

This is a simple list.  There are probably a dozen more things you SHOULD know.  Rule of thumb is to make sure you do for mom what you want someone to do for you.  That is the golden rule anyway.  Love on mom and leave drama at home.  Even if you and mom aren’t in full speaking terms its best to call or drop by and leave than to stay and mess up both of your day.

Lastly Mother’s Day is always best when dads who are around participate.  Nothing is more beautiful than a man showing his children how they need to honor their mother. My husband has lost his mom but the kids saw what they needed to do to honor me even at the point of death.  Teaching is always happening.  It’s important for kids to know how to make it work.  So do your part!!

Continue reading Mother’s Day Do NOTS

The wind has been taken out of our sail….

So as mother’s day comes I always have been in mind of those who do not have their mom.  It is a hard thing. It doesn’t matter if the relationship between you and your mom was the worst on the planet, everybody needs their mom. Outside of Christmas, this time of the year is one of the most hardest times for people.  This year to our surprise we are dealing with the same.  My mother in law passed this past November and it seemed as if life has most definitely changed.

My husband is going to experience his first mother’s day without his mom.  Today I need to put my thoughts to paper and honor her at the same time.  When she passed it happened so fast. There was no moments to breath.  She got sick just about a few days after her birthday in July and never really returned home outside of maybe a day or two. During this time the kids were in the middle, too young to understand but wanting to know why they couldn’t see their mom mom when they wanted to.  Regardless of past times when our relationship was rocky I prided myself on always keeping an open door with her concerning the kids.  If her and the kids requested to see her we made it happen.  This was in addition to regular visits and daily phone calls.  We lived together for quite some time.  As with any mother in law and daughter in law relationship the struggle to be in charge was there.  Its hard in my opinion for two women to live under one room.  Our common ground was always the kids.  If she wanted to do something for the kids as long as it didn’t go against their diet as far as their allergies I was okay with it. She always forgot what they could an couldn’t eat.  She wanted to be able to give them anything and everything she had.  Sometimes it was my need to assert that I was there mom in the way.  Other times it was the “you live here” that got in the way.

Her love for her son was unmatched.  Often times the thin line between separating the relationship of him as a son and him as a father and husband seemed to be the issue if ever there was.  However she loved her son and he loved her.  He is an only child.  We meaning my friends and I and his friends always made fun of him because of it.  He would be the poster boy for the picture perfect momma’s boy.  He hated the term.  He in his mind wanted to be the boy who loved his momma instead.  He was there for her.  She had been sick for quite some time off and on and thus it prevented him in ways from moving away after he graduated college.  She needed him.  So as someone who was fully aware of their relationship before marriage I knew what to expect.  There were conversations between he and I about what I expected in a relationship.  It was never a thing for me to interfere with theirs.  They had their own challenges.  Often times even she wanted my opinion on why he wasn’t as close to her at times.  I remained the same, staying out of it. You know things go, if I speak up on something I would become the bad person and I had went through that once.  I am a quick learner so I quickly hit stage left in the middle of their arguments.  She and I had our trying times.  When we moved out it got much better. It took me some time to visit.  I needed space and I needed it to be on my terms.  I needed time to restore the peace and I wanted it to be because I wanted to come not because I felt obligated.  She felt like I should have just come just because she requested and she was right in some regards. However I needed it to come from a good place and not forced.  I do not and still do not feel that relationships with people should come from title alone.  Love and respect have tobe mutal and sometimes respect earned from both parties to make it work.  You can’t love someone you don’t respect.

In spite of it all, the time apart paid off.  I found we texted more often.  She called more often.  She asked me to come over usually to do stuff but in that she opened up more. It was a relationship forming.  As she got sicker and had to be in and out of the hospital I stepped up as a daughter in law making sure the doctors were doing what they said.  I even almost came to blows with one doctor.  My thing was making sure she had the same treatment as my own mother.  No one wants to be mistreated in hospitals and nursing homes.  During this transition I did what I always did in the background, let marques be a son.  It was his season to do so.  He needed to be there for her.  His job and his family became secondary.  I would have it no other way.  As I look back it was the best thing. Had I put pressure on him he would regret me.  He is already dealing with enough my antics wasn’t needed and I gave him none.  She needed him and in those moments I just watched.  I tried not to ask too many questions.  Just not stressing him was what he needed.  On the faithful day that she took her last breath, I had gotten to the room and had some alone time with her before others arrived.  She and I just talked a week before alone.  She planned to make my favorite meal, pepper steak when she got home.  She wanted me to get the kids Christmas gifts too.  She wanted me to plan a trip to Disney World.  She laid it out there. However at this one on one moment she no longer could tell me what she wanted.  I sat quiet because I had no idea what I was supposed to say.  I just kept telling her that I would look over her son and grandkids.  I told her that I loved her. I was glad that she and I had a really long talk the week before and said love you to each other.  She told me that I wasn’t the issue.  She just wanted to be included and felt like she wouldn’t be and that she and I can talk about what boundaries she would agree on. That was her way of saying let’s make it better.  I took notes, but sadly I watched scared to death as she took her last breath holding my husbands hands that got weak.  I am afraid of death.  I don’t even go to funerals like I probably should.  But I was there.  I still see images of the whole thing unfolding.  However it was peaceful even though it was hard.

At the funeral the part that broke me was that my son who is and was super close to her had been out-of-pocket all morning.  When they wheeled her out of the church he screams somebody get me my mom mom.  I broke.  I was trying to be strong for the house but in that moment reality set in.  The woman who wanted to be there for everything was gone.  My world was changing.  I felt guilty too.  My mom was at the funeral sitting what felt like forever away from me and I wanted and needed her.  I couldn’t calm my son.  He was besides himself and rightfully so.  I ran to my own mother. I just needed to hold her.  I felt bad and still do for my husband.  He is doing as well as he can be these days.  This year I plan on going to my moms the day before so I can be there for him all day Sunday.  I pray that although his lost is great that he will find comfort in knowing that he did all he could for her.  He was there for her.  He loved her and she loved him.  I pray peace and love in his heart this year.

My family and when I say that I mean my immediate family the ones I live with have been hurting since she left.  We know she’s in our hearts but there are times when thing happen and we remember that she would have loved to be there.  We remember she would have had something to say about whatever was going on.  I haven’t taken her number and name out of my phone. Sometimes it comes up when I go to call my own mom.  Her influence in my life will never go away.  I have shared tears, arguments, food, and living space with someone.  I love her and I miss her.

Here are the lessons I learned from my mother in law,

  1. Bills-Pay them on time and keep accurate records.  When I tell you as we went through the things that were left behind she kept her bills from the 90s.  She was always calling making sure she watched every coin that left her account.  She made sure her money was together.
  2. Love-she loved her son and when she passed it was like she passed the torch to me. She showed me what it was really like.  When I leave my kids daily I am more careful of the interactions I have with them. I go above to make sure I say I love them and give hugs and kisses.  I want that if I should not return for their last memories of me to be that of a loving mother, not a mother who was too busy.  My husband’s mom worked for 40 years at Social Security and as a single mom, she still made time and everyone around her knew her son was her pride and joy.
  3. She was strong-although she may have been wrong she was strong in her convictions.  If she believed it was so, she made sure that others knew it too.  I doubt there was anyone in the family who didn’t know where she stood.  Even the ones who may have to say hey that don’t make sense, they knew she wasn’t changing her mind that easily.
  4. Family-she believed in it. This one is a struggle for me.  She knew when people were using her, or if and when others wouldn’t drop everything for her when she needed it but she still was there.  She talked often about doing for her family and how she just wanted everyone to get together more.  She loved family.  I admired that about her.  I had a hard time opening up and letting others in.  It’s usually had to do with once I do and then they do something to hurt me I would push them away so I wouldn’t feel that way again.  She always put herself out there regardless.
  5. Worry-she was one that worried a lot.  Watching her having all kinds of desires that she wanted to happen let me know now to stop putting things off until another day. She wanted to get a new car, travel, and she was retired.  A large part was her health that held her back.  Sometimes it was just thinking if she did for herself in one area it would cause another issue in another area.  She always told me not to do that.

As this Mother’s Day comes along, the memory of Deborah Ann Wilson-Storr shines bright.  For that I honor her!!  Happy Mother’s Day in heaven and thank you for leaving love here on Earth in Marques and your grandkids!!

Single Moms Survival Kit

So life of a single mom has usually a few things tied to it, stress and time.  There isn’t anyone that can help lighten their load.  They play the role of both parents which is almost nearly impossible.  They have to do it all and smile as if it doesn’t bother them. Let me say that is foolishness.  Single moms are not happy about their state of singlehood.  I haven’t found one however not being happy in singlehood doesn’t mean you can’t do a few things to change your personal perception.

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I was born to a single mom.  My dad well he had the ability to check out like so many other men who make that choice.  The children are caught in the middle of it all.  Every child needs both parents.  However when life serves up the craziness, you have to find ways around it and make it work regardless.  So it was a little later on that my mom would find real love and my dad aka my step dad although I never call him that entered our lives.  What was life-like before that?  Full of adventures.  No two days were alike. Sometimes my mom look effortless and other days you can see the struggle in her eye.  I have said it once and I will say it again no mother is perfect but my mom got us through displacement, homelessness, and struggle and she doesn’t even appear to look like what she came through.  No mom ever wants this life.  However let me tell you what lessons I learned from the best to do it:

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  1. Don’t look like what you are going through.  It doesn’t mean that you won’t have bad days but my mom not only told us this she showed us too.  We lived in a shelter and our clothes were always pressed and clean.  She made sure every time we stepped out the door we looked right meaning hair done too.  She made sure she had her make up done too.  Did that mean we were to the 9s all the time?  No but definitely most times.  It was about looking good and feeling good past the craziness behind the scenes.  No mother wants to have children in a shelter its a sign of not being able to provide. However my mom told us it was temporary and that in life you have to be able to go high even when things got low-trust me this was before Michelle Obama.
  2. Things work out when you work hard.  In life things get hard.  There will be times when you want to pull your hair out.  The kids will not make it easy either, however you can do your best and make moves instead of excuses.  You have 24 hours to cry and die like my mom would say but when you are done, wipe your face and handle it.  Keep searching even if you get a NO, keep going.
  3. Get help-if you have one person willing to help don’t cut them off.  Do not try to do it all yourself.  It takes a village.  Someone is ready and willing to assist let them.  It doesn’t make you less of a super mom to get the help you need and that means in all forms.
  4. Smile- yes your heart hurts.  You may have watched the sadness in your child face over a disappointment of the lack of the other parent, but your smile let’s them know that things aren’t perfect but they will make it. I know for a fact that watching my mom do the same in her life, when life gets hard she won’t one sugar coat life for me and she definitely taught me to smile through it all.
  5. Journal it out-everything ain’t for everybody.  You have to be able to have an outlet.  Single moms don’t always have time for hobbies and meeting up with friends but you have to be able to get it out.  Keeping things in will do more harm than help.
  6. Never let anyone come between you and your kid.  Listen to them because kids see and know more than you think.  Don’t let them dictate your life but don’t want a “life” so bad that you throw caution to the wind.
  7. Take care of your children.  Stop the dropping them off to momma and nem so you can be at the club working on your next kid. A break is a break it’s not forever.  It’s not weekly.  It’s a break-a brief moment.  The concept of dropping responsibility is not going to work.  You had them, you raise them.  Help is one thing, damn near walking away and visiting your kid is another. Its one thing if you can’t take care of them but if you are in the picture than be in the picture.  Give your kid 100% instead of them not already having one parent and then only having 10% of you because you are fed up with the life you created.  No you didn’t create it yourself but at some point the focus needs to be off of you and more on the children who didn’t ask to come here.

Do Everything Mom!

Moms really are the best multi-taskers there is.  When I was going back into the working world after being a stay at home mom for almost 3 years I would be asked what skills did I obtain during my break. I would always highlight what a day would be like without getting too personal with potential employers.  End of day moms are expected to do it all but there are moments when we have to let the bottom fall.

Yes I said it, judge me but you have to allow some things to hit the ground.  As much as every mom has an imaginary S on their chest, the reality is that we are human.  We will forget, we aren’t always available, and some times we are just incapable.  We are strong but we aren’t statues.  So when is it time to let some things go?  Here is my list:

  1. Yes you will always be mommy, but when grown kids get grown or even when they are teenagers and “get grown” sometimes the hands off approach is more beneficial. There are many times when you can assist but any assistance that stops a grown person from being what they need to be needs to stop.  If you stop paying their grown rent, they will be forced to get a job.  If you stop rescuing them out of ALL their stresses they will grow up and deal.
  2. When your personal health is in jeopardy, please stop.  I have kept going even when I was sick.  Let’s face it moms don’t always have a supply of folks to call because they are ill that will come to their rescue.  So when you are down, and can get help, get it. You don’t have anything to prove. Learn to say NO and don’t let mom guilt get to you!
  3. When it’s something where you are going to uphold them in their wrong. It’s one thing to agree with your child grown or not but we all know right from wrong.  If you find yourself in a situation where being their mom means putting up with their wrong, abort.  You can love your child but not love the things they do, get into, or the people they associate with.  Learn that valuable lesson and step back.
  4. When the lesson for your child is more important than your ego.  Sometimes as mom we want to do it all so much we forget that everything we do is a lesson.  So if the lesson is going to better improve the child grown or not, than let it be.  Don’t let your I just want to get it done go over the lesson.

One of the things my own mother has taught me is that we need to raise our children for the world.  Meaning there are a lot of things we want from our children that are sometimes for selfish reasons.  We see our kids being disrespectful and we think it’s cute so we don’t correct it.  The issue is later down the road they continue with the bad behavior and someone else now has to deal with your little precious and they aren’t all that precious.  A mom’s job is never always as clean-cut as we would like but you have to create balance with ourselves and our family.  There are so many over worked moms that don’t have the means to cut out all of the stress.  I am a firm believer that where you can cut, please cut!!

Mommy Guilt

Welcome to another mom’s week here at ToiTime.  I will repost some of the blogs from last year as well as highlight some new blogs.  Today we are talking about mom guilt.   Moms know what mom guilt is.  It’s the time where you double think any time away from your kids, any me time, any purchase that wasn’t for your kids, or any fun you have had away from your kids.  How sad but I don’t know of a mom who hasn’t had this feeling. It starts as soon as you have your little bundle of joy.  You don’t ask for help when you are a new mom because you are supposed to be super woman and wear a cap 24/7 right? Wrong. You think of anyone offering you time to shower is saying your a bad mom right? Wrong. Yet no matter what type of mom you are we ALL go through it.

So let’s try to work on having less of it.  I have been somewhere and decided to purchase a small item. As soon as I put the item in my cart I begin the what do the kids need?  What’s coming up?  Do we have enough wipes? Pull-ups? Clothes?  Let’s face it all of my kids needs are always met way before my husband and I’s because that’s what good parents do. However mom guilt never ceases to stop.  One of the other ways mom guilt comes in is when it’s time to leave the kids with their dad or even a sitter.  You immediately go into that no one can do it better.  What I have learned is that better isn’t always key.  Just because your kids are used to how mommy does it, its okay for mommy to have a break and do the things she needs to be healthy herself.  Yes ladies with children a happy mommy is a better mommy.  Not a overly stressed out mommy with no outlet.

I know coins are tight.  I was a stay at home for many years and only one income coming in.  I have blogged many times about ways to bring some fun and excitement into your life even at home on a budget.  Sometimes its not the budge that is the issue it’s letting go. Your kids will still be in one piece when you return.  Do NOT cancel another date, another friend activity, or even some me time because you don’t want to leave your kids.  They are fine.  The renewed sense of love and peace in your face will be enough. I am not suggesting to act as if mommy guilt don’t exist, it does. I am saying find healthier ways of dealing with it.

Here is my list of how to deal with Mommy guilt:

  1. Save a little money on the side for yourself.  That way you will feel like you earned it.
  2. Unless your child is severely sick and you don’t have anyone to help you than do NOT cancel plans.  I have had to cancel plans if one of my kids is in the hospital but a bad cold and you have help, they will be fine.  DO NOT CANCEL.
  3. Link up with other moms via phone, text, parenting groups, etc.  There’s always support in numbers.  Regardless of parenting methods we all want what’s best for our kids.
  4. Get an outlet.  Yes you are tired, and don’t have time but if you don’t make time for you everyone around you including your precious little ones will suffer. If you can make time to complain you can make time to find a solution.
  5. Learn to say no.  I know this one is hard but you don’t have to do it all and do it all in a day.  Do not allow others in your life to dump on your plate.
  6. Delegate-yes even if your husband or man in your life doesn’t do it your way, if he assists that’s better than nothing.  Learn not to only ask for help but to actually be direct in saying what you need that will help you.
  7. Relax-find ways to destress.  Often times we allow stress to mount.  Instead of finding solutions to our issues we focus on the negativity.  Remember the way you handle stress the little ones can see it and pick up on it too.  Be proactive in being whole.

So this is mom’s week.  We will cover issues with single moms, stay at home moms, working moms, surrogate moms aka the moms that didn’t give birth but are moms nonetheless, the moms who have passed on this is a hard week for the ones left here feeling a sense of emptiness, god moms, moms who have lost their babies, etc.  As you can see moms are pretty much on every level.  If you are involved directly or indirectly in a child’s life in a nurturing way, this is your week! MOMS ROCK!