Monday Motivation: Mario Kart Life

Today is a day like any day to make the best out of our situations. Let’s not front and act as if everyone woke up with their affairs in order. You might have gotten up this morning with stress on your heart and feeling overwhelmed. I sympathize with you. I want you to know that no matter what’s going on in your life, mind, or heart we have to press through. There may not be someone to come and save you but don’t have to let your situation overtake you.

I know you’re saying that it may be easy for me to say but it’s not. Most days lately have been pure crazy. If I could touch on the things you would be like wow. I know that life happens to all of us. I know that even with crazy life circumstances, what will pull me through is resetting myself daily. It’s going to take me being in charge of what I entertain in my mind and who I allow around me. Your thoughts matter. It’s the first line of defense in how you continue in your day. If all you speak is negativity and worry that’s all you look to see. Even in bad situations I’m like what’s the lesson and where is the good that can come out of this. I know I’ve been in worst situations and I know some how I’ve come out. That’s the reassurance that motivates me to wake up and intentionally push.

Some mornings especially in this holiday season I can feel grieve and sadness around me. So I do what I need to do for me to push out of it. Prayer is how I start, music and speaking to my children is also how I push through. Sometimes journaling. Whatever you need, grab it while your situations work themselves out. Take care of you while life happens. The worst thing you can do is fall apart and while life is happening to you. The stress of life is going to be there. Losing your mind or losing yourself is not worth it.

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Take Monday by the horns and have a great day on purpose. You ever play Mario Kart?  In the game all kinds of objects are being thrown. The objective is to dodge the objectives and keep going. Sometimes life is like that. I think about that when I am driving in Philly and trying to avoid the potholes. Life is like that sometimes. You have everything being thrown to you at one time only to find that some you miss and others you don’t. The objective is to keep going and win. It didn’t say it would be easy. It didn’t say it would work out, life is about not quitting. Usually regardless of skill set, resources, and help the person who wins in life is the one who doesn’t give up. They are the ones that push through.  How about you?

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Love Energy

If you ever worked out you know how it can feel. Sometimes you feel super motivated. Other times you have a love/hate relationship.  However if you are consistent in it you will notice how better you feel and eventually you will see results. When you are consistent and you see results it keeps you feeling amazing and keeps you going even when you have days when you slack off.

The energy behind that feeling of working out, eating better, or doing better is the same type of energy that needs to be put into your love relationship. You should feel loved on everyday. The days where arguments seem to be on a thousand, and you’re not getting along, should be way less than the days you and your partner spend loving on each other. One thing that I am realizing is the more energy into the relationship, the better the results. The times in your relationships where BOTH partners are attempting to meet in the middle is key to making it work.

Energy never lies. I don’t care what a person says, if the energy that a person is giving or lack thereof, is the key to how things hold up. You can never go on record with your spouse naming the things that you do in response to responsibilities alone if the energy in how you love isn’t being shown. I learned that in counseling on my own. I went to counseling about my life in general and if I am honest my marriage came up. My counselor was a man and he said to me that I know the energy in which my marriage is giving and if that energy is slacking, it won’t hold up. I either had to do my part, wait to see if my husband’s part would match, and if it don’t match, I knew what I had to do. This doesn’t mean my counselor was encouraging to divorce, etc, but he was making me aware of things that love blinds you to.

man wearing suit jacket sitting on chair in front of woman wearing eyeglasses

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Love is amazing. If you are being loved right, it shows. A woman glows better when she’s loving herself and her partner is loving her correctly. There is no denying that. Energy is all about what you give to your partner. If all you do is harp on what your partner does that is negative than don’t get mad when that person goes looking for someone to encourage them. Let me say it for the folks in the back, this is not a oh well if they cheat clause. I am saying if you’re honest and you know you aren’t speaking good into your relationship and over the person you claim to love and all you do is tearing that individual them, gaslighting them, and downing their every move, eventually that ugly side of you becomes less and less attractive. No ONE wants to be put down. You can’t come with a smile, ever? You don’t have not one nice thing to say, ever? There is something wrong, always? Don’t nobody got time for that. If you have an issue with something, speak up but it don’t have to be drawn into a picture with a neon sign everyday! Speak love. Speak encouragement. Put into the relationship what you want out of it.

One last nugget my counselor told me that we tend to say, if I was with “this” person whatever the “this” represents, we would….. If you don’t work out in yourself whatever negative issues you feel from what you get out of your mate, you can leave them and run right back into that same type of person later. Check your loves of the past, do they all share common traits? If so than maybe there’s something in you that needs to be worked out. Energy never lies. If you feel miserable and you’re working on yourself and find that the person you are with is not and its dragging you down, speak up. After awhile things will naturally take its course. Don’t ignore the warning signs cause you love this person!

Checking in on Your Loved Ones

There is something to be said when you check in on your loved ones. Whether it’s a quick check in or a full on call and listen session we need to be proactive in doing more for each other. We are connected and we need to keep that connection as strong as it possibly can be. We need to do a better job on spreading love to everyone and even the ones we know well. We tend to give better compliments to strangers at times than we do to those we are around. Be the type of person that is nurturing to one another and attempt to find the good in your circle of loved ones.

So for that I am challenging all of my followers to do a quick check in. I know that often times we use text messages and we don’t talk on the actual phone, but it may be time to do a full on call. You can use text messages as a lead way but overall it would be good to hear a voice and be sure that your friends and family are truly okay. Its getting colder out and seasonal depression is real. Even the ones who you think is totally fine and there are no issues present could be fighting a silent fight.

three women sitting on grass

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You would do yourself a disservice to ignore your loved ones in this season. So spend a little time and make it your business to reach out to a few folks over the next couple of weeks. Be sure that if you do that you ask open-ended questions too. Sometimes people will hit you with the yes and no and true interaction is engaging. Also keep in mind some people are private. Make sure the conversation and space is safe for them to open up and speak. Don’t judge what they have to say. Just be sure that you are truly inviting and be there. Some people don’t want a fix they just need to vent. I want to be able to look back and know that I attempted to be there for my friends and loved ones and I encourage you to do the same!!

National Day of Hope-Don’t forget the Kids

Today is national day of hope.  This is the day that we remember our children.  Now whether or not you have children, all children are our children.  The stats of children that are abused and neglected are astounding.  Literally its heart breaking to say the least.  I haven’t seen a day pass where I don’t wake up and hear about a child that is hurt in some way and usually by the hands of the ones that is supposed to nurture them.

We really have to put into perspective the amount of children that are hurt, killed, beaten, starved, etc.  This is the day to step up in ways to look out for the children.  Have you seen a mom that looks like she is at the end of her rope?  Can you offer some help?  Can you take the children for a few hours?  Can you help provide a good meal?  Can you help that mom or day to get on their feet?  Whatever you can do is a help.  Some people do NOT deserve to have kids.  This is a fact.  The ones who end up hurting in the end are the kids. We can change one child’s life than its not in vain.  There are some adults who themselves have been abused as a child.  The scars and physical wounds heal but the trauma never goes away.  Encourage someone who has been abused to receive help.  Hurt people hurt people.  Get therapy so you can realize what a healthy relationship looks like.  Together we can shed light on abuse and stop it.  If you know of someone who is being abused speak up. If you can’t reach them then put the child’s needs over your personal relationship.  This means even if its your best friend, mother, father, neighbor, etc.  do the right thing.  Do not leave kids vulnerable to these horrible acts.

Let me also say that we all as parents, parent differently.  One thing that regardless of race, age, creed, etc there are a few things that should be standard in regards to children is the whole need to threaten them.  I am simply talking about the parents that feel the need to curse their kids.  To me and you can disagree until the cows come home, but your child isn’t a bitch, stupid, and any other derogatory word.  If you need to curse at your kids to get them to do anything its not the kids fault its your fault.  I get tired of hearing the F bombs the MF bombs this and that being thrown at kids.  They are not adults.  I could care less if that’s how you talk to other adults, draw a line at the kids.  I was at my daughter’s dance class and heard a grandmother at that tell her grandson how he would never amount to nothing with his sorry dumb ass.  I stopped and was almost sick to my stomach. Then she told him to get his MF ass up and do what I say.  One thing I was grateful for was the man that heard what I heard and went over to the young man to assist him in listening and in love talked to her.  The sad part is she was screaming this so all of the other children were witnessed to this.  If she was willing to speak publicly like that, then my God what would she say to him in private.  I don’t judge parents so let me be clear.  Talking to a child like that is WRONG.  Its not judgement its facts.  I could care less what that child has done or is doing, its WRONG.  If you find yourself have to talk to a child in this matter, please get help.  The root of anger that would allow you to be okay with such conversations speaks volumes.  We have to step it up parents, grandparents, care givers, aunts, uncles- an entire village needs to change our ways!