The Goat Philly

I attended the Goat Media and VIP celebration. If you remember last week when I attended the opening of The Fairview, it’s the same owner, Fergus Carey. He dazzled in his white.  The Goat is a partnership between Fergie and Jim McNamara, the dynamic duo has a great gem on their hands with this one. 

Located in the Rittenhouse section of the city at 1907 Sansom Street it’s nestled on the corner and named after the Billy Goat statue in Rittenhouse makes perfect sense. It’s also a play on the Greatest of All Time-I see what you did Fergie! Fun fact that I didn’t know at first was there was an online competition to help name The Goat. Talk about input from the start?! But don’t expect The Goat to play coy when it comes to the selections and drinks. The Goat packs a powerful punch and is ready to own its own. Trust me the hype is worth it. So you know how I do I am going to break it down from décor, food, atmosphere and service.

Décor

What’s more fun than one bar? Two! That’s right there are two bars. One bar at least for the Media night served up signature drinks while the other served wine. You know how I love my wine. The inside is beautiful. What caught my eyes was the very well lite lighting. Take a look for yourself:

I also loved how beautiful the floors were. I know that’s a weird observation but you can’t help but to take notice of it. Some of the décor was made of things like skateboards, etc. Shout out to interior designer Raymond Haldeman. The bars are visually stunning. It makes for a great time either for dates, happy hour, get together with friends, etc. 

Drinks

The flow of drinks was amazing. I know you know I love my drinks and that all drinks are great but they aren’t. Drinks need to taste well, have amazing presentation and be strong. The Goat had all of that and more. I loved their signature drink, the Pink Goat. It’s a mix of Gin, Elderflower Liqueur, grapefruit juice, and a dash of Prosecco and cranberry. It’s good. It has the right combination for it to be in the middle between a little hint of sweet and a little sour too. 

You know I always end my nights when I can with a little wine. I enjoyed the Fleurs de Prairie Rose. It was so good. 

Food

I mean who comes to the bar to ONLY drink? Not me. If I am drinking I need food options too especially my on the go lifestyle. Thanks to Chef Adrian Geronimo the food at The Goat is just as appealing as its décor and drinks. The concept behind The Goat is to have a mid-priced and modern pub that offers smart choices that are delicious. People are becoming more conscience when they choose to spend their money and eat out. The world wants options that include being able to keep in line with their lifestyle changes and still affords them great tasting food and The Goat meets those demands. 

Roasted Mushroom Flatbread

This was made with herbed ricotta, fontina cheese, caramelizedonions, baby arugula, and truffle oil. 

 

Ancho Chili Braised Short Rib 

It was (I didn’t personally eat it) extremely good and melted in your mouth.

 

Reuben Burger

Angus beef, pastrami, Swiss cheese, Napa cabbage, red onions, Russian dressing on a sesame brioche

Seitan Bulgogi Bowl

Carrots, radish, lettuce cucumber, daikon, soy ginger sauce

So as you can see there is food for every palate. They even have blackened tofu, and green Chile BBQ jack fruit sandwich that I want to go back and personally try. 

The event was a success.  Media and VIP were able to have a ball while eating and drinking great options. Also there was a live band. I grew up around music my whole life and so any time live music can be incorporated into the mix I am personally here for it. 

Service

The service was amazing. When I got in as most media events are the dash to the bar is long. I wanted a cocktail but started with wine. The server made me a cocktail instead of me having to switch sides. He had no idea I had a long day and just submitted a major project. Little things like that always stay with me and will keep me coming back! Even in my personal life I remember servers who go above and beyond. It matters!!

Thank you to my date of the night, Gesella. She came with me to the Fairview and I believe she had a great time as well. It’s always good times when you can come together and try new things and add more places to eat, drink, and relax!

Gesella and Alex Holley

Thank you to Aversa PR, and The Goat for the invitation. Thank you Gesella for accompanying me. I look forward to adding The Goat to my personal list of where to dine in Philadelphia. 

 

The Children by Lucy Kirkwood and directed by Abigail Adams

Over 40 years and an “old friend” seems to have washed onto your door steps. A surprise for sure that is going to bring about some heavy punches of revelation. The Children by Lucy Kirkwood is a mingling of old friendships, crossed lines, environmental disasters and I would even say some blind facts.

Hazel and Robin live a quiet life. After the earthquakes and tsunami, they have learned to alter their lives and move with ease.  They know to limit their electrical use. They learned to manage their meals. Their quiet lives seem to be well managed until Rose shows up unannounced and that’s when secrets are spilled, and the revelations go deep.

First, you notice that the relationship between Hazel and Rose are strained. Hazel is trying to catch up but she’s very uneasy. Her interactions are dry. She’s hospitable but almost in a way that is more obligatory and not out of love. If one of my college friends had shown up, we would have had an amazing reunion of sorts. Not the case here with Hazel and Rose. First, Hazel hits Rose in the nose. In her defense she wasn’t aware that Rose was even in the house. She tries to make things right offering to help clean her up a bit. I knew in the way they moved that something was off, and I couldn’t quite get it. They catch up and Rose wants to know a lot about their oldest. Hazel is guarded about her oldest daughter’s troubles.

Robin comes home after the catch up and awkwardness and I thought to myself I saw a switch in how Robin was acting towards Rose. He seemed to cordial. My suspensions wereconfirmed when Hazel left the room and he and Rose embraced. I was sitting in my sit thinking this had to be some messed up reason that they were too comfortable and crossing the line of Hazel and Robin’s marriage. There was history. Old flames who had reunited and I wondered if Rose coming back was to scoop up the man she might have felt got away. They were hugging and kissing way too tight for my liking. This explains Hazel’s ability to catch up with Rose earlier. They weren’t full on friends. They were like fremies. I don’t think I have any that I know of in my own circle and none that I am aware of that had a past relationship with my husband that could ever pull up and visit on a whelm. 

It’s easy to note that Hazel, Rose, and Robin worked together in the plant many moons ago. They would even say were responsible for the core meltdown. Once the spilling of the old flames started to unravel so did other secrets too. This play has it all. It gets extremely serious when Rose comes in with her own plot twist. Should they make it right for the younger ones behind them? Is this a suicide mission? You already see the down side to the core meltdown in Rose and Robin. I find it interesting that and this could just be because I am married Robin willingly gives information to Rose that he hadn’t shared with his wife. I peeped how even with the years separating them he is very open with her in ways he can’t give Hazel. 

Careful Hazel seems to be the wife of convenience.  I hate to describe her that way, but it seems like responsibility led them into their partnership. They seem to flow more on a guarded sense of marriage. It has worked but you see the loop holes the second Rose showed up. No one should be able to expose loops in a marriage the way its unraveling. Also, Robin’s anger is an issue too. Hes sitting between the woman he’s married to and the one he “once” loved, and his mouth is extremely fluid. I will also point out that this play has strong language so no one under the age of 13 should be in the audience. My mom used to tell me that a man’s anger elevates when he’s messing around or has his emotions tied to another. 

 

 

Here are my take away without giving away the ending:

Life is always a circle. What you do in the past has a way of boomeranging back to you.

Make decisions you can live with and be able to deal with the consequences of those decisions

Fall in love with the one you love not the safe one. Love doesn’t die. It doesn’t go away. You can’t simply move on as people would like to make you think

Let grown kids fall sometimes. I am a mother I get that I have reached that stage, but I had examples of allowing kids to fall and figure some things out. You can’t do it all for your kids and expect them to thrive.

I had a great time as usual. This play although has its seriousness it is hilarious. I love the energy between the actors.  As always People’s Light did a wonderful job bringing this production to light. It has a lot of humor even some dry humor because I found myself laughing at times when others might not have caught on to a side dig. I also love how welcoming People Light’s staff are. Not even with me but with others.  

One of the highlights that People’s Light has the new Smart Caption Glasses. Smart Caption Glasses provide customizable in-line captioning of the play’s text within smart glasses. This is a great partnership with the Institute on Disabilities at Temple University and the National Theatre of Great Britain. People’s Light is the only theatre in United States to have this amazing technology bringing theatre to all audiences and meeting the needs of the patrons at the same time. 

You can get your tickets by going to www.peopleslight.org

Remember there are tickets available as group sales, dinner and a show sale, brunch and matinee sales, after show actor talks, etc.

People’s Light is a theatre that cares about its patrons and I love being in their presence. Thank you, People’s Light, for having me. Thank you, Carrie Gorn, as well. I can’t wait for the next production.

 

Monday Motivation: Blue Monday

Today is blue Monday. It represents the fact that today is the MOST depressing day of the year. Now if you grew up in the church like I did you aren’t allowed or shouldn’t speak “things into existence.” To speak about the most depressing day of the year means that you are speaking or willing it to be so. That is not the case. We are going to acknowledge it because it is a real issue that many can’t simply pray away. The factors that went into the study of Blue Monday deals with financial, motivation, and weather. Winter is and will always be associated with seasonal depression. The cold and gloom of the season attributes to it. So no we aren’t willing something that many face. We are actively speaking on it.

Disappointment of it all

The disappointment of having those around you not think enough of depression to be a valuable discussion can hurt. You want the people close to you to see YOU. It’s hurtful when they don’t. Why are they saying things like, “you’re trippin!” “Get over it!” Sometimes because to acknowledge your issues is to acknowledge their own. However you are going to have to get to a point where you take your own personal journey of depression into your own hands. Can you survive another person’s inability to see your depression and also find ways to combat it? Absolutely you can without the love and support of those you love. It’s hard. I have been in that place. But I do know that me having more days of less depressive moods or having the necessary tools to fight when a depressive mood comes is more important than faking it for a crowd. 

Image Check

Also let’s talk about when people tell you or you feel like you are disappointing this image they have of you. This representative that we use on a daily can be great. For instance I am a blogger who seems to be in the in crowd in the city. And nothing about that is false except where I post pretty pictures I equally talk about the fact of when I am having issues behind the lens. Some of your favorites wouldn’t because they are afraid of what others would think. I think for me I have had the closest folks near me betray me in ways I wouldn’t have thought that what strangers think doesn’t seem to matter. End of the day I share because as human we share like experiences. There is a woman like myself telling herself that because she deals with depression she’s not good enough to be loved. That is a lie by the way. You are loved and loveable. You are strong even in the lowest of an episodic depressive mood. We are complex and to smile through pain without checking into yourself to work through it will set you up in the long run. We aren’t poster board. Even if we were I want someone to see relatability in me not because I am pushing a product or experience. I want them to lay down on their pillows with more days of peace than anguish because this lie of what we put out doesn’t match our soul’s desire and issues that have to be worked out daily. 

Depression isn’t weakness

I will forever say this. I say this not just because I too fight with it, but because its true forever. It takes a lot of guts to stand in a place and say I need help. It takes a lot of loving yourself or wanting more for yourself to take the initial step of calling on professionals to help. You have to do what you have to do. Being better and going through personal healing will depend on your ability to stand up for yourself and make life better. There is no magic fix with depression. I know that a lot television and movies show people laying on couches of therapist and coming out happier than when they went. That is a lie if there ever was. Sometimes it’s so draining I have had to go to sleep. I have been angry or sad after leaving. It’s hard to pour your soul and think that this instant happiness and smiles will appear. You are setting yourself up for failure. One time I left therapy and sat in the car of the parking lot for an hour just staring into space trying to take in what happened in the actual session. 

So on today’s Monday Motivation let’s talk about depression. Let’s talk about it looking really dressed up and happy on the outside but with sadness on the inside. Let’s talk about the loneliness that it feels as if you are the ONLY one going through it. Let’s also talk candidly that like you and like me we are all connected. We don’t have to not talk in order to deflect. It’s more support out here than you think. How about the fact that we can be ourselves and take breaks when we need them. We are complex and beautiful humans.

There are options

Talk to someone if you need it! I have several that I reach out more in the winter months than any other time. It doesn’t take a big crowd just a few or even one person you love. Write it out so that if you make the decision to see a therapist you know where to start. I have taken my journal to show how I think when I and deep into a depressive mood. Get encouraged. Know that you aren’t alone. Even if you need medication to help you aren’t a failure. I have said many times about needing medication when I was in the middle of postpartum and how those around me either told others I wouldn’t have even told or they acted as if I was on “white people” stuff because I wanted to be better. Getting help in the Black community is like playing Russian roulette. Change the conversation. Getting help is about self-preservation only. In order for me to be truly happy I have to be willing to get the help that I need. 

Reshuffle your goals today! What are the most important things to you. One step even if it’s not giving you a result is still a step in the right direction. Be realistic; Rome wasn’t built in a day! Be kind to yourself! Give yourself the grace you extend to others!

Solidarity

I stand with those who are going through this. Those who aren’t be someone’s light today and every day. Instead of speaking out on things you don’t know, get educated. You can be someone’s stumbling block because you speak from a place of ignorance or arrogance. Choose to be someone that someone else can confide in instead of someone where they have to walk light around. 

 

Friday Check In January 17, 2020

Happy Friday. How else has had a long week? I know I definitely have. I am glad to be able to get into the weekend although this weekend is supposed to be some snow. I know its winter and I complain every year about it but I don’t like the snow. I never have and I most likely will not like it either. Either way I can’t do anything about it. I already made cookies just in case it does come and that we can drink some hot chocolate and be warm and eat. This is the why I stay so vigilant in the winterabout working out.

I do have an event on Saturday night and I have a family outing on Saturday afternoon. We shall see what happens. Sunday is going to a brunch Sunday and I am super excited. Outside of that I have 2 projects I am working on and I want to start filming for Valentine’s Day! This week has been a challenge just emotionally. I spoke on the blog about how my Wednesday went but it was more or less a build up of things that I hadn’t addressed.  I want to talk a little more about how to deal with unlocked emotions.

Your Trigger Your Issue

Apart of a great check in especially with yourself is being honest about your mental and emotional well being. What are your triggers? How do you respond when a trigger is hit? For me I can range from being loud and angry to quiet and distant. I am lucky to have my husband who is becoming more and more aware of my triggers. I am grateful to work them out on my own but I can let him know I am in the middle of a trigger and I need some understanding. That doesn’t mean that with an announcement of a trigger I can just be super rude. I cant bite everyone’s head off and I cant just go off to get through a trigger. So doing what works for you to get through that doesn’t push someone else over the edge or causes further damage to yourself either. 

They don’t help me?

I used to a few years back before going to therapy would get mad at my husband because he didn’t help me through a trigger. I placed all these high expectations on him to do something. What was he supposed to do? If he held my hand it wasn’t enough. If he hugged me through it he was being too passive. If he listened he wasn’t engaging enough. Triggers are personal. The work to get through them comes from the inside out. You need to have someone who isn’t ready to jump ship when you are in the middle of a trigger but you have to be actively working through them and not just triggering and apologizing. 

No Apology Needed

I used to say sorry for every trigger. In some of my triggers I would be apologizing like every few moments. I learned that an apology is supposed to be for when I wanted to change the behavior. Triggers are normal to have. This is why I work on being clear in my word choice so that I don’t have to apologize for having a trigger and now I don’t have to apologize for bad behavior because that is no longer an issue. Trauma is a lot of work to get through. My issues that created took a long while to create and they will take a long while to get through. I just focus on my inner work and inner peace. I am grateful for the skills to get through some of the darker moments of life. 

FaceTime Anyone?

This week’s catch up tips on how to catch up with others I would suggest if you have an iPhone or an app that will allow you to see your loved one use it. It’s great to hear someone’s voice but even better if you could see their face. Being that a lot of my friends and family aren’t in Philadelphia or within driving distance, seeing those helps. I use this method to contact and speak to my two nieces who live about 2 hours away. It allows me to keep the communication open. Technology was made for moments such as that and not for us to argue and fight over opinions. If used the correct way it can bring a lot of joy to those around you. I got my grandma a new phone per her request. I also made sure to get her and set up the app to be able to see her. Now the stress to get her set up on it was a LOT. I ain’t even going to lie and act as if it went smoothly but I do believe in the long run it was worth it. The app I use with my grandma is Google Duo! It’s easy to use and super easy to install! Grandma is rocking now!

Home Connections

If you are fortunate to have someone whom you live with and you find that you aren’t connecting as much as you need to, turn your phone off. Sit close to them. Find a show that you enjoy. Last night my husband and I watched Grownish together eating cookies and drinking wine. A great way to connect and to focus on the fun of a show we both love. These are small ways you can connect and keep the connections especially with our colliding schedules. 

So I wish you all a great weekend. I am in the middle of a 21 day blogging fest and I missed two days so you will be getting a blog a day until January 23rd who knows I might go the rest of the month. I love doing challenges like this with other bloggers. I also will be updating my events and what’s happening page. I haven’t updated since Christmas. 

Just a look ahead we are doing a Self-Love Challenge in conjunction with Valentine’s Day! I know it sounds cliché but the best love comes from within. You can’t recognize amazing love if you don’t first feel it from yourself daily. I can’t wait to have a little fun with this series. 

 

Open Discussions: Time to Decompress

So yesterday I had a long day. I was completely frustrated just with how the day was progressing. I think if I am honest with you all since, I have already been honest with myself is that when I thought about the stressors and deadlines I had on my plate, my travel for the end of the month, and just the normal day to day that I to do; I had to release that energy. There have been aspects of my life where I have come off being so easy to juggle because I am Type-A has many believing I don’t need to be supported. It’s not true. Someone who can multitask actually needs a lot of support because they juggle so much more in a day than the average person.

Me enjoying some snuggles with my cat-Tiki while journaling

I haven’t had much say for the most part on some of the instances in life that has taken place and with that the notion to push through has been the wave. I am one to practice self-care but there’s another element to daily self-care and sometimes that may mean taking an honest assessment of the things that are surrounding you. For instance, I haven’t spoken as openly about it, but my twin had major surgery this Summer and a lot was thrown onto my plate. Helping her navigate her health and life has been a lot. Yesterday I realized how much pressure I had been feeling. I needed space to acknowledge it and then delegate back to her what she needed to work on so I could clear my plate of some things I am attempting to work on too. It helped me to have an open conversation with her.

How do I deal with stress?

For me I am one to now speak up and be honest instead of allowing things to build and then explode. I work on how I feel inwardly before I talk to another individual about it. I was able to be honest with myself by stepping back and answering some real strong questions about how to further navigate life. I really do well under stress but it’s completely okay when on a day like yesterday I needed to retreat even for a few minutes. I took a quick 10-minute time out. I am blessed that my children are old enough that I can escape to my room and gather my thoughts. My children make me so proud.  We openly discuss stress and how to handle it. They knew that I needed my moment and they offered me the same suggestions that I offer them when they feel overwhelmed. It taught me that they listen, they are applying, and they are coping well.  We speak openly about stress not in the tones of what is stressing one another but in terms of stress management. My hope is that they see self-care and stress management as a normal occurrence and not something they learn only in therapy as adults.

Decompress

After my 10-minute time out I was able to have some vegan pizza and wine. I know there is somebody reading this like “oh she’s using food and drinks to manage stress.” Not at all. When you have a healthy relationship with food and drink you can enjoy them. The pizza and stress didn’t take my stress away. I worked through my issues and that’s what helped my stress. The pizza and wine were just something that makes me happy after the fact. I was just doing my food happy dance. Also, I was able to cook a few more meals to set my weekend up and the kids and I were able to be super light for the evening.  The atmosphere was great. My daughter was able to get all her studying done, the youngest were able to play, and everyone was prepared for their day today. 

Game Plan

With being able to decompress I was able to rest. I was able to get a mental game plan. I was able to refocus and resift. I like to do this as often as necessary because I don’t want the house to have to feel the pinch of my stress. Like Beyoncé says the women keep the tempo of the home. With we must do all we can to make sure that we are okay and not just in surface. As much as I advocate for asking loved ones second layer questions, we must do it on a personal level as well. How do you check in with yourself? Do you journal? Do you sit and block everyone out? Do you talk or phone a supportive person? Whatever you need and that need will change with each shifting situation we need to do it. We are important. I don’t want to be in a situation where I am not in control of my emotional health, so I strive to make sure that I am in top mental shape. Doing all I can to make sure that I am mentally okay within my own skin is important and I really hope you do what you can so you can feel and know the same!

Stress out of control

If you can’t control your emotions and you have checked in with yourself, journaled, talked to a friend, took a time out and you are truly feeling overwhelmed I would suggest talking to a doctor or therapist as you may need assistance. This is important. This doesn’t mean you are a horrible person. It doesn’t mean that you are out of control and hopeless. It doesn’t mean you are crazy. You just need better coping skills. It’s okay and not a failure to seek help. It shows strength in the ability to ask for help even when it doesn’t feel like you are strong. Keep in mind I believe in Winter or Seasonal Depression. Its gloomy out and dark earlier in the day and it affects your mood. I check in with myself more in the Winter than any other season. Its okay and you aren’t alone. Let’s make our mental health a top priority.

National C-section

Today is the day we get to talk about all things C-sections. The first C-section was done on January 14, 1794. Although they have come a long way since than they are still very dangerous and serious!

I remember growing up and not hearing too many stories about them.  So much so that it wasn’t about not knowing the birth plan existed; it was more or less not having anyone I had known to go through it. My mom birthed all three of her children the “natural” way even with my sister and I being twins and I was breach. So when I had my own children this was so unfamiliar that I did NOT research a single thing during my pregnancy with my oldest.

Now what I will share will be really hard to read or may trigger someone who either is having issues with conceiving or someone who has birthed a child via C-section and has lost a child. For that I want to say I completely understand. This is my personal stories of my children’s birth and the trauma I experienced. I have blogged many times but never together about each of my 3 children who were all birthed via C-section. Having them via C-section made me make the decision to not have any more children. It was never my children’s fault that they were born that way but it will forever frame how I look at how emerging our health system is so evolved yet many women make the decision or are put in the decision to birth via a C-section that it’s crazy.

Here I want to be truly transparent and offer my story as a way to start the conversation. Let me dispel some of the things I hear:

C-sections is a cop out to “natural child birth”

This is simply not true. The scar is always a reminder of the miracle of life but the reality is C-sections aren’t a wimp way out of a thing. I see where women are speaking up now breaking these thoughts and shattering the ideas that many women and men used to say. C-sections is major surgery and the recovery increases complications every single time they are done. No wimping out on that pain and the pain isn’t something to sneeze about. Sneezes hurt too by the way.

C-sections aren’t something you can simply order like you are going to McDonald’s. I have heard many people say they would request it since it’s so much easier. Define easy? If you mean having your organs mushed around and the fear that you may not be able to walk correctly is easy let me know. Or how about the pain that comes along with it. The fact that you have to be monitored longer than “natural” birth. How about the complications, are they easy too? I had 2 blood clots that were so big that the one at least was as a large as a newborn. I experienced that last one with my youngest attempting to take a shower. The gore of feeling contracts and seeing a large mass on the floor after being anemic, having already lost blood is not an easy way out by far. Oh and since I was already dealing with a blood clot in the braid; it complicated my C-section even further.

Oldest Gummi Bear

I have given each and every one of my children nick names. My oldest I named Gummi Bear. That’s how she appeared to look on the sonogram. I had to have one pretty early on due to the fact that I wasn’t able to keep anything down and my blood count kept doubling. I am a twin they wanted to be sure I wasn’t having twins. Thankfully I wasn’t. I had developed preeclampsiapretty late or at least that’s when I was told. With that being said my blood pressure kept spiking. The entire time she was fine but it was clear I was going to have to deliver. I was induced and my oldest didn’t want to come so I had to have the C-section. I remember them saying it was going to have to be an emergency and if they couldn’t save us both what did I want them to do. I said take me and let her live. I know women who would have said either one. A child being born and not ever having their mom could have just as many issues as I could not having her but I made the decision and luckily since I am typing this, we both made  it through. I was unprepared and super scared. Grateful for my support system who was there for me. I remember being so clear that I would heal fast since it was my first child and I did in retrospect but I was also in great health prior to. My daughter was 6 weeks early. She spent time in the NICU but you couldn’t tell that looking at her, she is one of the strongest I had known.

My Sonshine

My son was my second child. I was going to VBAC which is have a vaginal birth following a C-section but his heart rate flucated after having contractions that didn’t stop for hours. They decided to make sure my son was in great health and since I had already had a C-section it would be fine. That was the worst pain and I told myself to expect the same as the first and I was wrong. The scar tissue from the first made the pain of recovery even worse. I knew mentally what I would need to do but that pain was greater. I over compensated my whole pregnancy with my son. Where I couldn’t keep water down and had to have an IV infusion pump and nurse visits after 3 hospitilations, I over ate with son. I wasn’t able to recover as well as I had the first one. However this C-section was awful. The doctors made it awful by not listening to me and the staff in general made me so irritated beyond relief that when I got home it just made me feel like I couldn’t ask for help because “you will be fine” was what I was told but the pain was that much worse. 

My Firecracker

My youngest and last child in this world and the next one to come was also by C-section. By this point it was clear the path I had to take. I scheduled hers but that was before I found out I had a blood clot on my brain and had to be monitored closely. These girls gave me the business. I had to give myself shots during the pregnancy in my belly and thigh. It was awful. Due to the blood thinners I had to schedule up to the hour when the surgery would happen to make sure I wasn’t going to bleed out. I even had 2 sets of surgeons in my room. Once again my daughter was in perfect health but I wasn’t. I bleed a lot during surgery especially with scar tissue build up. Every time they go into to cut after one C-section the scar tissue makes it that much harder. She was born and I thought I was good to go until I got out of recovery. My blood pressure dropped they did an ultrasound found another blood clot. I remember my doctor putting everyone out of room saying she didn’t have time; she gave me morphine and pulled the blood clot out herself. Here lied the blood clot on my bed and I was crying hysterically thinking I was going to die. I had another one in the shower and they had to rescue me from dropping pressures. I made it home only to have my son out of excitement jump on my belly and I hemorrhaged from the inside out. After two blood transfusions I was in the clear, but I was in the ICU.  My husband said I blacked out several times and lost full color. I felt like I was going to die but by the grace of God I am here. I could have bled out. 

C-sections gave me my beautiful children but I would be lying if they were “easy.” There is nothing easy about being cut and the implications of that cut can do to your health. I know that medicine is advancing but we need to have improvements in how we treat patients’ experiencing C-sections. To all of my mothers with their forever scars-I salute you!

Monday Motivation: Will Yourself

It’s amazing what you can do when you will yourself to succeed. We think often we need the keys of success whatever they look like but often its fight in our own minds that matter. How we see ourselves mentally can be a block of hindrance to this life we are attempting to make. Let’s look at some ways we can will ourselves to a more successful path:

Work Smarter

Sometimes we mentally block our blessings because we are attempting to work harder but not smarter. For instance, I was ironing up the kids clothes every morning and sometimes at night. However, I could have gotten more sleep in the mornings if I ironed their clothes one time for the week. Now I have saved time, energy, and in case of an oversleep which could happen, its one less thing to worry about. Another example of working smarter is with blogging, blog and edit ahead of time. This is a great way to have content ready without the stress of life hitting and having to find time to do it. Consistency is key and often we are in our own way.

Commit to ourselves

We commit to everything and everybody except ourselves. This is a mindset we need to have that we will do the most for us before we do for others. I know life isn’t about being an island but with balance we can do for both others and us. Its like cooking food for the community and your family lacks homecooked meals. Its backwards thinking. We need to take the mentality off the table that self-care is selfish. It’s not. It’s daily. It’s not just about facemasks and bubble baths. It’s about filling up your cup first before you continue to pour out to others. Stop giving others the best of you and depleting yourself for yourself. I hear people give folks the most beautiful comments and look at themselves in the mirror with so much negative talk. You know you can hear yourself? We must treat ourselves with the same tenacity. Therefore, some people get used to others speaking to them badly because they do it daily. We can’t require more from others than we give to ourselves. Balance the two. Make others step up to the plate and treat you right as you treat yourself right. What you eat, drink, and think about matters. Be more conscience of that.

Mind over Matter

What we think about and entertain sometimes blocks us. I noticed for myself and this was a personal decision for me to cut out some of the reality television and stop subscribing to certain social channels until I had gotten myself together. I don’t watch a lot of the shows still. I was getting too caught up into other folks’ bag and what they were doing to securing it that I was leaving money on the table. How was I leaving money on the table? Do you know how many writing opportunities that there are that I passed up because I wasn’t even looking for them. I told myself that I was going to use my evening to continue building my brand and I found myself saying-tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow never came. I was hype about the drama I watched but not enough for me to use that time to find and secure my own dreams. Again, this was a personal decision. You might not have that struggle and can continue to do what you do and not have any issues. However, if we are honest a lot of us need to take stock in things and we need to eliminate things and people from our lives to be a better version of ourselves. 

Personal statement

So, what are we willing ourselves to do? I saw a woman online who was visibly overweight. The comments were brutal. I saw her again and she made a declaration to love herself. She turned the comments off on her social media pages and she got to work. That woman has lost major weight. Did she do it for herself or the comments? Who knows? I hope it was for her. However, she said she made the decision to will herself to the new weight, got focused, and started to work towards her goals. Sometimes negative experiences will push you to a goal but won’t keep you working towards it. Be vigilant. In the case of a weight loss journey you learn so much more than pounds and appearances, you drop the weight in your mind that simply pours into your spirit.

What do you need to will yourself to do this morning? It could be simply going to work and not going off on a co-worker. It could be to enroll in class that will help your business. It could be to end a relationship that no longer serves you. Whatever that goal is let’s do the mental push ups to push yourself to your destiny. You may lack in skill, could be your push to drive that gets you to greatness.