Pod Brooklyn

So before I break down my time at the Blogher conference I wanted to do a review on the Pod Brooklyn where I stayed. Pod Brooklyn or any of the Pod Hotels is not your average hotel chain.

They are about condensing and eliminating waste. It’s like a capsule of a hotel without all of the extras you think you may need. To me it felt like an upgraded college dorm with limited spacing. As much as I thought in my head it would be an issue I was wrong. I chose this hotel for 3 reasons: it was less than 10 minutes from the Blogher venue, the reviews were great, and it had a rooftop bar! Say what you will but if I was spending some mommy free time I had my priorities in order. Did it make my cut?

I loved it! I enjoyed the staff who greeted me with a smile as soon as I walked in. I was expecting the hotel to be off to itself on a property but it was within the block along with other businesses. I was in New York so for location it definitely fit!

Off to my room I went and I kept my expectations to a minimal! When I walked in initially it looked like a regular room. I was stunned when I went to the bathroom and that’s when you could see the Pod like room. The bathroom stall was also located inside of the shower. I kind of grew a little frown. For spacing it’s genius but it was different.

FYI by the time I went to actually use the bathroom not one issue arose. I’m not gonna lie and act like it wasn’t weird seeing the toilet all wet up while I showered but it was not a thumbs down for me.

The room was smaller by volume but not by quality of sleep. I don’t know if it was a mix or not having my family with me, the long conference day, or the amazing food I had but I got the best sleep I hadn’t had in a long time. If I hadn’t had to get back for events I would have booked another day! Seriously my sleep was soooo comfortable.

Let’s talk views! The Pod hotel has great views. I was in the D Pod on the 3rd floor and I loved how each section was set! I also enjoyed with all of the amazing lighting!

The food at the Pod Brooklyn was provided by Clinton Hall which was adjacent to the hotel. I can’t express enough how good the food was. Service was great and the drinks were great. Expect New York pricing-I think I had forgotten that part of my trip somehow. I have zero complaints!!

Crispy Cauliflower Taco-can they just mail me some?!

Garden Burger ALT with avocado, lettuce, tomato, and their CH (Clinton Hall) sauce

They have a happy hour that’s from 11-7!!! I got there a little after 1 and needed that red wine before the conference. It took the edge off! The only down side to Clinton Hall was for breakfast the pastries and fruit that they advertised they barely had. They had no pastries to be honest. If I hadn’t been on my way to the conference where they were serving us food that would have been a deal breaker. I would say they need to focus on having stock

All guests receive 15% and you know I’m here for some coins to be saved!

Now the rooftop bar is so nice. My only issue is that it was freezing! It’s a breathtaking view but me and cold don’t get along. The bartenders were amazing and fun. I did eventually take my food back to my room!

If and I hope I soon visit another Pod Hotel especially the one here in Philly that just opened to compare. As much stress that has been going on I could use a staycation! I would jump at the opportunity wherever I travel to stay at a Pod Hotel. Consider them when you’re booking. They also have family Pod rooms which look to be super cute and fun for my family or yours!

Pod Brooklyn went above and beyond to do one major thing and that was to keep customers happy! Even if I hadn’t liked the rooms or the concept having great customer service goes a long way! When I checked out they held my bags so I could explore. The parking attendants were great too. Although the parking is around the corner a few feet from the hotel and not fully associated with them, it still was a great experience!

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Small Bites and a Big Punch all on The Deck!

I had the honor of attending a mix and mingle that was hosted by Roberta Pipito also known as homemadedelish on social media. You may have seen her doing correspondence on television as a lifestyle and food contributor. The mix and mingle was held at the Moshulu aboard The Deck. Now I have to be honest it was my first time. Out of the 8 years I’ve lived in Philadelphia not one time have I ever been aboard the Moshulu. I know it’s crazy to hear but this is why it’s important for me to see more of the city.

As a lifestyle blogger it’s important to blog life as it happens. One of the major aspects of life and living is eating and dining. When I go to establishments it’s important for me to take note of a few things; ambiance, decor, food, service, and fun and I can assure you that The Deck on the Moshulu has high marks for all.

Ambiance

I took a tour of the Moshulu and was able to see the newly renovated spaces. One word to describe it is: breathtaking! They have several decks to fit your needs. Obviously The Deck which I will be featuring has small bites and amazing drinks, they have several bars and dining spaces and event spaces as well.

When I attend spaces my mind goes to my lifestyle and many others. How can I utilize this space for date nights, time with friends or even if I wanted to bring my children? Let me say the Moshulu has you covered for whatever the occasion including just grabbing drinks after a long day. The Moshulu is the only restaurant aboard a working ship so the mere ability to dine or drink while seeing the city as your backdrop and watching the sunset is truly a beautiful thing to see! This is why it’s important to explore your own city. As much as it’s fun to travel do not miss your opportunity to see amazing jewels in your own backyard!

Decor

Having the water and city as your backdrop you don’t need much but the Moshulu has taken it up a notch with amazing unique pieces that will make your dining experience that much better. The uniqueness is something you will absolutely not see anywhere else. I can attest. Beautiful chairs, and looking up to amazing hand crafted ceiling pieces are just outstanding. At night you can see the glow of the lights and city and it makes it like an oasis of pure happiness!

Food

The Deck is the place to be. This is where you can get your small bites and unique drink offerings. This is great for grabbing a few friends or family and just ordering an assortment of bites to share. The food is incredible. The small bites will fill you and let’s be clear especially in the Summer small bites is perfect enough to pair with a drink but heavy enough not to have that overeaten fill! Light and airy but with good food is the way to go in the Summer.

Thanks to The Deck let me highlight a few must haves:

Red and white sangria pictured above

I love a good sangria. Sangria is like Summer’s special. It’s light and it’s good. The Deck took the Sangria and raised the deliciousness by a thousand. Not only is their sangria good it can be served in the pitcher to your table. For me that is good news. Instead of ordering a few drinks at a time, you can order the Deck Jugs and sip as you please. No waiting on someone to refill your cup the choice is now up to you! It can serve between 2-6 or more! If I had to recommend which sangria I loved I would go for the white!!

Another highlight is the Weekend Warrior! It’s a deep eddy sweet tea vodka, Pallini limoncello, mint, honey, lemon and iced tea. The first thing you’re gonna ask if you’re not a mint person is the mint strong? Nope. It’s the perfect combination and it can be served in the Deck Jug as well!

What if you’re the type that likes your drinks frozen since it is Summer you may want to cool off:

No worries I tried the strawberry margarita slush and it’s amazing from first sip to last!

Also the mango piña colada is delicious as well! It’s smooth and creamy! It’s one of those drinks that’s so airy that it doesn’t hit you right away! So here’s your: PSA don’t drink and drive and maybe catch an Uber Or Lyft!!

Now on to the food!! The Deck has food for every single palette. There is no one in your party whether it’s a party for 2 to 10 that they can’t accommodate! From soft pretzels to sushi to calamari they have you covered!

Warm soft pretzel bites and a cheese sauce

Pita bread and greens over avocado hummus

Truffle fries

Chips and avocado hummus

Cheeseburger slider and chips

Calamari

Not your average corn dog

Veggie Sushi made with mango, cucumbers and avocado a personal favorite of mine

There’s always room for dessert and you are going to want to have some! We were given boozy Rice Krispies and an ice cream sundae that is definitely shareable! The boozy Rice Krispies came in mud slide, pina colada and margarita. The picture below doesn’t even do it justice. It’s worth trying for yourself! These definitely aren’t your kids Rice Krispies. The immediate escape to fun and your childhood was felt by all the smiles!

Service

I always remain low key to see how I am treated at the door before anyone knows why I am there or who I am! There was not one issue! All staff that I saw didn’t do the walk past you bit. Everyone was all smiles and acknowledged me and definitely was accommodating. I had nothing bad to report. How someone treats you before they know you will grade them says more to me about an establishment and The Deck and Moshulu get a definite A+ rating!

Fun

From walking on the ship until I left I had a ball! I had a ball because the ship is beautiful! I had fun because the weather was great and had it not Moshulu has options to still dine outdoors without the rain stopping the show! I had fun because the food was fresh and the drinks were amazing. Overall Moshulu and The Deck is the perfect Summer escape. It’s the best place to feel like you have taken on a long lost trip of adventure without having to leave far from home. It’s a beautiful place to hang out, connect or reconnect, and host your event or even a wedding!

I want to thank all of the staff at Moshulu and The Deck for having us. I would also like to thank Roberta for being an amazing host of this mix and mingle! Thank you to Melissa’s Produce for the great swag bag.

I met some amazing new blogger friends as well as spent time with @Phillyfoodgal!

I definitely will be back and I’m hoping it’s with a few of my girls!

The Moshulu is located 401 S. Christopher Columbus Blvd in Philadelphia PA!

It’s open for lunch from 12pm-2:30pm Monday-Friday and for dinner from 5-10pm Monday-Sunday!

Brunch which I am soooooo excited to try soon is on Saturdays from 11-230pm and on Sundays from 10am-2:30am!

The Deck is open daily starting at 3 for amazing small bites and drinks!

There’s no doubt that Summer fun can be found at The Deck on the Moshulu!!

How to Catch Creation

I had the honor of being invited to attend the opening show of How to Catch Creation. I actually withheld reading any reviews, or any the media write-up before hand because I love coming in without any thoughts of what to expect before hand. I was pleasantly surprised of this production. First of all the set was magnificent. I grew up in theatre so sets matter to me. Secondly the cast looked like me. I loved seeing all of the representation of pretty brown faces.  Third, the play captured my attention and gave me a whirlwind of surprises some subtle and some knocking me over.

Let me give honor to whom honor is due by saying that How to Catch Creation is coming off the acclaimed Kilroy’s list.  It’s a play about discovering legacy as well as what it means to create and how creation shifts during periods of life. Creation takes many forms from art, life, relationships, and how all of the loops come together. As a creator myself it definitely spoke to the hills and lows of life and watching my own work take dips according to what may or may not have taken off.

Christina Anderson, playwright, did an amazing job on capturing the experience of black queer feminist writer and how through her life, life has taken on turns that end up bringing the most unexpected people to unite. When you see the connection I found myself holding back in the audience try not to mess it up for someone who might not have. I laughed so hard during this play.  I loved at moments when the audience interacted right on cue without a notion. I also loved seeing Christina Anderson herself in the audience as well as the director, Nataki Garrett. Seeing them watch their work had to be amazing.

This play is for everyone. I do love how it highlights love and heartache for same-sex relationships.  To be honest sometimes society in my opinion forgets that they have an experience like everyone else. It’s not as easy even with society beginning to open up to what it means to be apart of the LGBTQ community and also be Black.  I enjoyed hearing prior to the show from Amber Hikes who is the Executive Director of LGBT Affairs for the city of Philadelphia. I didn’t even know there was a division first of all.  I also didn’t know that are only 3 other positions in the cities of the United States like it. There is definitely a need for all of us to be aware of what our city is offering. It was great knowing that the city of Philadelphia and the Mayor’s office is representing all walks of life.

So what were some of the themes presented:

Despair, from seeing Lindsay Smiling who played Griffin, try to work his way to normality after being wrongfully accused of a crime and incarcerated for 25 years. His struggle to want to have a child of his own as he learns about his mother and her past was incredible.

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Love, from Tiffani Barbour who play GK Marche a writer who falls in love with Natalie played by Shauna Miles and seeing who their love goes from incredible highs to the lows of breaking up and infidelity. Their love was priceless and unmatched until loneliness lead Natalie into the arms of another.

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Betrayal, Shayna Small plays Riley a young woman who has motivated her boyfriend, Stokes, played by Jonathan Bangs, who is losing his focus and rhythm.  Their beat is thrown off when Riley falls in love with Tami, played by Stephanie Weeks who is opening herself up to this forbidden love.  The beat is so off that now in order to get the rhythm back do they let go?  Do they go back to life before the betrayal? Can they co-exist?

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Explosive, fun, witty, and most importantly colorful are some of the best words to describe my experience. You are not going to want to miss out on this adventure. How to Catch Creation will be playing until April 14th. You can purchase tickets which range from $10-69 by clicking here

I would strongly encourage you to see the play and take some friends or family along as well. Thank you to the Philadelphia Theatre Company for as always inviting me and treating me above well. Thank you to Kory Aversa and Aversa PR for these opportunities as well. Thank you to the amazing cast of How to Catch Creation for such a wonderful time.  You all were professional and most gracious as well after the show.  Thanks to my personal team for always helping me get to these shows and for being the best caretakers for my littles!

 

 

 

 

Women’s History Month: Zulma M.

How someone treats you matters. It sets the tone for respect or disrespect. Often times we get upset but there are times we need to look in the mirror. How we respond to the treatment says continue or stop. If we are honest not being direct is usually the culprit. We are still talking about failures and sometimes the failure to not allow others to dictate out lives needs checked.

What is one failure you are comfortable sharing that taught you the most lessons?

One of the many failures that I will have to say that has taught me and continues to teach me is allowing others to dictate or control me.

Again the concept that in order to appear respectful its best to keep quiet or not to rock the boat. That is a misread. You have to be able to speak up and mean what you say but you don’t have to be mean when you say it.

From that failure, what other lesson have you learned?

The lesson it taught me is that I have a voice and I am light and once I saw that and owned that no one could tell me otherwise.  I have allowed the opinions of others dictate how I was to live, to behave, dress and how I was to be all around.  I would have rather pleased them and allow myself to fall into a sunken place because I wanted to be accepted and loved, but deep-down resenting myself.

As I stated I learned to love myself, to accept myself and work on changing me for me not anyone else.  I have learned that I am different and that is okay that is actually great, I learned that my voice matters, maybe not to anyone else, but it matters to me.

Wanting approval is one thing. Wanting approval above our own voice is not okay. You can love you and make others around you align themselves accordingly.

What are is the 3 things you would want to tell other younger woman in regard to lessons learned?

Learn to love yourself…it will be challenging at first, but it is sooo freeing.

Do not allow the things programmed in your mind dictate who you are.  So often we are subjected to the thoughts and beliefs of our parents, teachers, friends and loved ones and it is a battle of who we truly are.  What I will tell you is research, allow your heart to lead you.  We have all the answers within us, but are you open enough to hear.

Pursue your dreams – there is no limit to what you can do.  Whatever you feel in your heart do it.

We can take on the things that we are taught and add or subtract from it what we need to be the adults that we need to be. It’s okay to go against the grain especially if it will yield a happy, confident and well-loved woman in its place.

What are 3 goals for your future?

To complete 2 certifications – Neuroscience certification and my Life Coaching Certification

Release weight – physically, emotionally and mentally

Travel – I want to travel the world and be an international motivational speaker

If you could sit down with any woman past or present who would it be and why?

I would have to say -Harriet Tubman – she was(is) a hero (Shero) – the fact that she was a slave she did not have no support, but she found a way to escape and not only free herself, but she came back and saved others too.   She was selfless and I would love to hear how she overcame the obstacles, the hardship what drove her to do the things she did etc.

Harriet Tubman definitely was one strong woman to do the very thing of helping slaves escape knowing she could be put to death.  We won’t step out and blog, be a creator, or go after that job and our lives aren’t even on the line. Don’t hesitate to step out in life and do things for others as well as yourself.  You got this!

 

IF you have any projects that are coming up in the future, what are they?

I am going to be hosting a workshop for women in late spring early summer. Planning to host a part 2 Vision Board Event as well.

Zulma is also on the Marketing Team for TCP I have not doubts that anything you start you will finsih

What is the one thing as a woman that you feel helps or helped you make your mark in this world?

Learning to be me and accepting me for who I am and the fact that I desire to exude Love to everyone, even those that do me wrong.  Staying positive as often as I can and remember to.   I have learned that what you put out into the Universe it will return to you.  So I choose to remain positive through adversity, give love at all times.

Thank you Zulma for participating and we wish you much success as you continue to live life on your terms and branch out!

You can find Zulma on Facebook or Instagram

Philadelphia Theatre Company Presents Bridges of Madison County

I had a wonderful time at the opening night of Bridges of Madison County.  This musical was not only engaging, it also hit on some questions in life.  The story involves an Italian woman named Francesca Johnson who married an American solider to flee the war in Italy. The story also surrounds Francesca family as they head off to the state fair without her. Who she encounters while they were gone, sets the many questions of what would you do.

What would you do if you found yourself in the company of a handsome stranger who woos you? In crossing the line you are left with the questions in your heart and mind of staying with the man you have built a family but not necessarily having the fire in your soul for or the man who with whom you just met who makes you feel alive?  How deep is your loyalty?  I attended this musical with my husband and it made for one great date night and an interesting conversation for the journey home. We talk in our society of men cheating but this woman clearly cheated on her husband and fell hard in love. Could she in the 1960’s just leave?  Could you in an unhappy relationship leave your mate now?  I think about all of the social and economic structure of that time and think about how staying definitely was more of a stable decision. To leave stability and your children is not only now but then unheard of. So of course my husband and I are talking about how life is different for women in a lot of ways with advancement in careers, etc but there are still women who are housewives who feel stuck in their current state. Now I am not condoning cheating in any way. Matter of fact, although stuck Francesca was actually quite wrong to cross the line with the photographer even if I understand it!

Did I mention that it’s a musical? I love musicals. Bridges of Madison County kept my attention and the front seats were probably the best part. I would highly suggest you getting to this show, opting for VIP seats if you can and by the way you can because there are many options to make it affordable.  This musical has romance, its funny, the music is A1, and it has drama and will have you talking well after you have left. If that isn’t the making of a good time?  I am enclosing the link for deals, like reduced tickets 3 hours before show time, ticket discounts if you are a SNAP recipient, group tickets, etc.  Tickets for all budgets and the ability to have one star-studded night.  So affordability for all is important and trust me when I say you are going to want to get out and not miss this masterpiece.

Thank you to the Philadelphia Theatre for a magical night. Thank you to the amazing cast you were above and beyond talented. Each of you have such a great gift. Thank you to Aversa PR for the invite.  Thank you to everyone who were involved in the reception afterwards for the reception. The brisket was divine! I felt like a celebrity with all of the star treatment.

Everyone get out and support Bridges of Madison County.  The show is located at the Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 215 S. Broad Street, Philadelphia PA 19107; 215-985-1400.  The show runs from February 8 to March 3, 2019!

 

Sunday Message: Controlling Your Triggers

We all have triggers.  Triggers are the things that we see, experience, or are around us that pushes an emotional response.  We all have to find a way to control them, handle them and most importantly address them.

Some people deal with them in healthy ways such as counseling, talking to a trusted associate or friend or acknowledge them.  The unhealthy way of dealing with triggers is hoping they will simply go away, drugs, sex, relationships, etc. I am aware of my triggers because I have had more times of not handling them right that I had no choice but address them.  I was tired of arguing, yelling, ready to fight, and being about drama to deflect what I hadn’t acknowledged.  It was too much to keep things going!  My tipping point came when I got into it with family and it spilled over into social media. I knew at that moment that I had to disengage, take a break, and handle the root of the issue. So instead of worrying who was wrong, I just dug deep into getting my life aligned. Now the issues that came up didn’t  disappear but with the help of my counselor I worked through!  Funny part I was in counseling and she told me that the situation was going to happen.  It was almost verbatim how she described it.  It’s funny now but then I was one split second from bail.

I have since seen a few family members since the whole breakdown and nothing on he inside of me moves. I hold no malice.  However there are other triggers that I still work through quite often.  For me they come out when I handle my children. My kids are good overall but they will every now and again make me tap into something and I find I have to work through some things. Parenthood in my opinion is sharpening me to be a better version of myself.  I owe it to my children to be the parent that they need and not the parent that is in constant fight or flight so that is why I have been in and out of therapy since I had my oldest and she will be 10 this year. I  have no embarrassment at all with saying that in order to control how I walk in this world is to have help. I want to spend my days being whole and not a whole mess.

How do you know that you are being triggered? Listen to yourself.  The things you speak about portray where you are.  If all you speak about is certain people or things that aren’t about building you to be your best, that issue you speak on still has life and you need to really deal with.  When I as having marital issues and not speaking and listening to my husband all I spoke about was negativity of our marriage.  I also would speak negatively about the imagery of other positive marriages. This is where the term hating does apply. I wanted my marriage to be a safe space.  I wanted it to be strong from the inside out and would take issue with others who appeared that way.  I wasn’t strong enough to be real about my part in my marriage. I never acknowledged how my triggers were not my husband’s to deal with.  I wanted him to be understanding and fix me while I acted a fool and hide behind “for better or for worse.”

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

We are responsible for our own happiness. We want others to care about our triggers more than we are wiling to deal and handle them.  It’s not enough to be understanding as you watch a partner do nothing.  How about just regular folks watching you wallow in your triggers.  Are your friends supposed to carry your triggers and the bad behavior they often demonstrate?  They can love and be supportive but they are limited in making things okay. I blogged the other day about who my friends were present for my most colorful times with Marques in college. Looking back they should have raised the standard for our behavior in that if we wanted to hang the drama couldn’t come.  Triggers place distance between people.  Triggers is the cause of why hurt people hurt people.  It’s simply still not okay to contain hurting people and having expectations that your relationship, title, or age will grace you.

You need to speak for, handle, and show up for that inner pain and deal with it. You need to trust me it’s in your best interest.  Everyday I wake up even when the day before  might have allowed  a trigger to get the best of me and show up for myself.  It’s important for me to mirror wholeness to myself as well as my children. Also social media and triggers is real. I do not argue  with folks on social media. Debate is a thin line to fighting too.  I will debate you with maybe 2 exchanges and that’s it.  It also depends on the topic. The trolls will never engage me.  Also if its family or friends that I have personal numbers to, it’s a no automatically. First I don’t post too many subjective things and on top of that I think about whether or not its someone who has a front row or at least a few rows into my life for me to get hype and it has zero outcome.  Also don’t let what you think you see on Facebook. I knew of several males who made who dedications to their wives and was cheating the whole time using hashtags like couple goals.  Life is complicated and comparison will leave you  in self defeat! Don’t do it!

One last thing, in life we can’t always retreat but one of the things that can assist in healing is separation.  I was told when I stated I needed to separate from individuals that I was wrong.  I knew what I needed.  I knew I wasn’t going to be okay from years of mess by staying in the midst.  My counselor allowed me to see that the person needed me to stay and work things out because staying gave the other party to believe that things weren’t as bad as it was. I didn’t care if I was looked as wrong.  I no longer wanted to be right. I wanted to be free to live and love.  I needed healing from my triggers.  I needed to separate to walk in real wholeness and know right or wrong I was entitled to how I felt but not entitled to react negatively to it!  Working through triggers is a daily tussle.  However if you are overwhelmed or feel overtaken in your triggers, its time to acknowledge it and get help!

Mature Love

Let’s face it with the wave of reality television society obviously loves drama. We thrive on. We take it in.  We gravitate towards it. In the last 2 years I have taken on a journey to dismiss a lot of the drama in my life in the form of television and media. In addition to that in the last few years I have eliminated drama in my personal life and especially in marriage.

I think about the wonder years of college. Here I had come from this small town and I had recently been holding on to my high school sweetheart. I was so torn on keeping up this relationship but happy to start this new adult life. With limited time I ended one relationship and set out on a journey to find myself. In the midst of finding myself, I found a new relationship. In the beginning I kept telling myself to keep my options open but I fell hard and heavy with this tall glass of water who I later would end up marrying and having a family.  Oh the relationship goals I hear people speak of when I post my beautiful family is encouraging.  It encourages my husband and I to honor each other more and to be the example to ourselves and children.

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Let me dip my baby toe into the early years when we weren’t as gracious in relating to one another as we should. The drama and fights and break ups to make up were really out-of-pocket. My college years were filled with too much of it.  Our friends God bless their hearts had seen their fair share. From me moving off campus, to not being able to go down the street without a fight, goodness. Yes not anything physical but all that ratchet yelling could have made a lot of this reality television look like Elmo’s World. We were in love and I will speak for me unable to handle and know what adult love was supposed to look like. The cursing each other out, seeing or attempting to see other folks (depending on who you ask), acting a fool in public, breaking up and making up and not telling others, just exhausting to write let alone live. Back in the day it seemed like a whirlwind. It seemed normal. Everyone on campus knew we were toxic and out-of-pocket. Just a mess!

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Separating and allowing space and time and for me to honestly deal with some inner struggles led us back to each other. People think we just woke up one day and decided to give this thing called love a try. We were tested in that love several times almost ending our marriage. What turned things around from college and marriage was living and learning about myself. Finding out what worked for me. I found out my passions. I had learned to live with myself enough to not allow someone else to come into my space that wouldn’t allow me to be me. This allowance has come up several times in our current marriage. The ability to let your partner balance their lives with you is necessary. One day in our car we were at the point of divorce, he looked at me and said, “are we in or out?” He said if we are in lets stick together and make it and if we are out, lets find a way to be honorable with our children.  He looked me in my eyes and I knew he wasn’t playing.

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Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

We at that moment lived by our mantra” us against the world.” We had stated that mantra in college but it solidified with me and him that day. That was at least 2 years into our marriage. There are no cute pictures you can take when two people have kids and are literally walking around like hateful roommates. What picture can you show when you are at the point of no return?  what picture can you show when you have enough and only doing the bare minimal?  So I always go back to the picture below.  When we were happy and made the decision to love each other forever. The time where we were so in love that nothing before that mattered and now nothing after should be to the point where we can’t work together.  We are willing to be with one another and this picture reminds me to take a mental break, wait for an answer, love despite of, and go back to the basics of what makes us, us!

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We don’t have the answers. We live each day but we know what works for us. We were friends first. We have “truth moments.” We give each safe space to be vulnerable.  We are learning to listen and talk to and not at each other. These are things that we learned in counseling the first months of our first year! I stepped out what we should be in our marriage and looked at the value of what we are able to make and hold on to when disaster hits. We are stronger together because we still want to be teammates in this thing called life.  As holidays like Valentine’s Day comes we love love or at least I who loves all holidays love these and any love related holidays, but to know that we are working through things and have matured beyond the college days is a miracle of staying the course! I want to leave a highlight with you, don’t think you have to struggle to get to this great point. If you can avoid it, please do so. Know yourself before you enter any relationship. The best thing is to work on you, get counseling before considering dating because uniting with a person can be a trigger in itself, and be clear about boundaries.  I am not glorifying bad behavior.  You can have healthy love. I am glad that we did the work to get to where we are. Nobody wants that perfect love story, but our love story is perfectly fitting for us!