Having a boyfriend or girlfriend should be a nice welcomed addition to your life. It can be fun, exciting, and new. Sometimes when the newness wears off you may have a few things that lust allow you to check in the beginning.
Are You a Real Couple?
Huh? Yes did you know that some folks get together and think its all love between them but in the end you may not even have had the talk. You actually need to communicate that you and your boo are really an official couple. Do NOT ever miss this step. Even if you two had this conversation over sex, have the conversation again outside of the actual bedroom. This will save you a few weeks in and possibly a heartache. Being on the same page is the biggest thing that couples will need to be sure they are on. Also what is your dating goal? Casual? Dating towards a future? Kicking it? FYI kicking sometimes means kicking it for sex alone, so be clear!
There is a healthy dose of jealousy in any relationship but when you find that the jealousy leads you not to both be able to live active lives separately and come together then, sis you get a problem. No relationship should have micromanaging as part as criteria. This is unhealthy. I am married and the thought that I would be micromanaging my husband or he me makes me tired just thinking of it. Two individuals need to be that-two individuals that are dating to see if they are compatible or just dating to date. Also micromanaging someone is a lot of work. Its draining! This energy could be used to start a business, get physically fit, make money, something other than knowing where another individual physically is. I am not taking time to smell body parts, checking mileage, checking phones, etc
Cheating isn’t everyone’s deal breakers. I think it should be. The amount of disrespect it takes to do the most against the one you claim you are in love with or even a strong like, is sheer madness to me! Also keep in mind the amount of STD that are out here in world makes zero sense to put my life at risk for a relationship. Let me plug that no relationship is cheat proof. Please manage your sexual health. Do not tell me how long you have been with your love a reason not to get checked on a regular basis. I wrote a blog on a previous doctor telling me that as a married woman who I didn’t need to be checked regularly. She got the business. I would be less worried about body count and more concerned with clean sexual health and great health practices.
When I met my husband back in 1999 he was my first and my first adult relationship. Not having someone manage our time we found ourselves up under one another all the time. In the beginning I thought how great it was but there came a time where it became unhealthy. Being up under someone all the time will wear down one or both of you. Back up! Give space. Even if you and your boyfriend have decided to live with one another, space is necessary. Go and still hang with friends, continue the same dreams you had before you got all Ella Mai “Boo’d up.” Did you go to work? Yes still go and get work done. Don’t mess up your coins just to be on your phones, losing focus, or taking off to spend days with no love interest. Being employed and in love is better than Broke and in Love!
All up in The Business
Learn to keep folks out of your business. The more hands on deck, the more complicated things can and will be. Everyone doesn’t need to know every time there is an argument or fall out. You do know everyone is going to be as forgiving. People wonder why there friends and family members can barely have descent relationships with their significant others and one answer is they know all the tea. It’s hard not to give a side eye to someone who keeps off as raggedy human beings. So to keep the drama down, keep folks out of your business!
If you are embarking on a new love take precaution. Get to know the one you are taking this chance on. Keep your life as rich as it was! Take your time. Get to know how this new person reacts when they get mad with you and others around them. Also if they have kids but aren’t active with them, find that out too. No man should be out here making a whole new life and neglecting their kids. No man who won’t care about his own flesh and blood won’t care about the things that concern you. That’s a word! Too many women letting me dick them down that don’t even know what grade their kids are in. If your new love doesn’t want you to be healthy, run! A man should want to get his life together and definitely would want their new leading lady to live her “best life” too!