Monday Motivation: Switch it Up

Schedules and consistency is a great thing! Not being able to move unless you are on a schedule isn’t. In this life the ability to adjust is what makes those appear stronger not those who have the best resources. Some people get stuck. They don’t ever change because the fear of change is real! You need change in your life.

I had a situation where I was confronted with change and going with the flow was the only way for me to push through. Had I been stuck in my stays it would have left a bad taste to those around me. It’s one thing to not like a plan. It’s another not being able to adapt because a plan deviates from what you are used to! I love plans. I thrive with plans but I also have to be able to deal with life’s blows one situation at a time! So adjusting is a life skill that many lack!!!

Switch things up! You don’t have to do the same things all the time. Go a different route home. Get up at a different time. Eat something different. Do things differently some times. Don’t be so rigid. You can become super stagnant living in comfort. There’s always something new outside of your comfort level! That’s the one thing or I should say one of the things that I learned in blogging. You have to do what’s best for you but you also have to come out of a comfort zone!! Don’t stay stuck claiming you want something new when the newness can’t come in your comfort zone!

This Monday be about your routine but realize you might have to reinvent yourself. You may have to try something different so you can stop getting stuck with the same results that you’re not happy with! Push but switch it up!

Monday Motivation: Let’s Clean House

I really can’t believe it! We literally are in the last few weeks of the whole year left. As many are preparing for Christmas the reality is above that is the New Year!!! What?!

I know I get that just the mere acknowledgment of the end of the year sounds crazy. However it doesn’t change its reality. My oldest was in my room where I have my vision board and she reminded me how most of my items listed I had actually accomplished. That not only made me feel good but it made me feel even more amazing that my daughter was the one who pointed it out to me. Now with the last few weeks to go I don’t plan to just celebrate the holidays, I want to start shifting into my what’s next! What do I want to do now? Where do I want to go and what will it take to get there?

You don’t have to wait for 2020 to start shifting towards new set of goals. And….there is zero shame in saying that there are some goals that haven’t come to fruition. You can pick them up and add them back onto your radar!! Everyday is a day of new beginnings. So I take each day and attempt to make it better than my next!!

Time is going super fast. It’s not waiting for anyone! So it’s time to position ourselves around the right crowds and have the right folks on the team!

Let’s clean house!

Here’s a listing of a few people you don’t need in your life as you clean house and you absolutely should always be about cleaning your house at all times:

Contentious Folks

Please for the sake of mental and emotional peace cut out contentious folks out of your life. They are super draining! They are life suckers and they don’t mean you well. It’s something about someone who argues just to argue. A spirit of disagreement is just unnecessary. If you’re not an attorney and you’re not being paid to argue it’s not necessary to literally be combative with your word choices daily for no reason! I have a few friends who are like this who I must say I’ve withdrawn from because there is no space in my life to hold them! I can’t entertain people who argue about the smallest of things.

Doubting Dawn

No disrespect to any Dawns but it’s irritating to dream and work towards that dream to only have a few folks that always have the notion to doubt your existence. “Why you?” “You ain’t nobody!” These type of folks are super motivating for sure but to have them on your team day in and day out just for the sake of having them in your life is really not where you thrive! Stop telling these folks your move. To be honest they really don’t have your best interest in mind they are waiting to see you fall. So let they need to either be eliminated or kept at bay. Change the seating of your life. Front row seating need to be reserved! They aren’t the ones who pay top dollar. They are the ones who got in because they know someone and don’t plan on helping to promote you. Leave them in the dust!

Why not Me Whitley

It’s one thing to believe that someone is living your dream AND you are working and putting in the work to get there but when you have that someone who just wants to reap the rewards; leave them behind. These types of folks are actually hard to spot. They usually play their position of support for years. They are the ones that shoot in the gym with you but after you get called and their names are simply in the background the real them peaks. They are cool with your success AS LONG as they can either tag along or use your name to build their own agendas!!

You need to clean house. The type of cleaning where you move and dust off a few things to reveal true cleanliness! You are going to have to clean house and clean it often! People shift life flour and your longevity with someone can’t be the only sustaining power of a relationship. Not only that your growth has to come from growing up. With that maturity comes discernment!

Happy Monday and hopefully happy thinking, cleaning, and clearing!

Breast Cancer Awareness Is Not Just for October

I have since the existence of my blog made sure to talk about the realness of life and not just about pretty pics and filters! Life throws many curve balls. One of those life altering changes hit me a few weeks ago when I found a large lump in my breast. It scared me. Is shook me to my core. I am a woman and a mother-what would happen if my diagnosis came back to speak of the unthinkable?!

Recently I had pain in my right breast. The type of pain that would linger. With breast cancer being extremely prevalent in my family it scared me. Instead of ignoring it I called my doctor. I had found a lump and it wasn’t decreasing in size. The pain and the lump sent me into over drive. Watching my mother’s journey with breast cancer and two friends currently fighting, I knew I had to be my own advocate.

When I went to the doctors they told me to just watch it. Not only did I not listen to them but I got a new doctor. No health care professional that knows your family history, and know you’re in pain should encourage a wait and see. Breast cancer for the most part can be preventable if caught early. Often times mammograms are an easy way to detect an issue and should be done once you hit the age 45 or even as early as 40 if you don’t have a history. My mother and grandmother both had it so there’s no question that I should be screened regularly. The last mammogram I had was 2 years ago and I had to come back because even then I had a lump that they had to monitor closely.

So about a few days before Thanksgiving I went to have a mammogram that blessingly I was able to obtain the results of before I left. I had been cleared. A number of factors I watched and often times I watched my caffeine intact and chocolate which by the way I don’t consume. I knew whatever was going down it wasn’t based on those factors. I’m so happy to report that the lump I had went down and wasn’t detected on the mammogram. The worse wait of my life. As I sat in the radiology department holding onto that locker key I kept saying “whatever happens give me strength.”

As a mom of 3 I have been vigilant to be clear about being transparent to my young kids and mostly my oldest about her feminine health. Would I have to be a walking testament like my mom was?

Ladies it’s your right to know what is happening with your body? Fellas it’s a duty to encourage and support the women in your life to be there for the women in your life so that they can tested and ready for all that life brings them.

Breast cancer awareness is not something you throw a bunch of pink and do a Warrior walk to-you have to also be sure that you live it. You get checked, you see about your health and you encourage the women around you to do the same!!!!!

Servant

From M. Night Shyamalan comes the new series on AppleTV+ Servant. Servant is about a Philadelphia couple who let’s an evil presence into their home following a tragedy with their son Jericho! This series will be full of suspense and it comes out on Thursday November 28th right on time for your Thanksgiving get together. So after you clear your plate, clear your mind to take in all of the action as you put together the clues of the mystery that awaits.

I was honored to be invited to do a special preview of the series. I usually don’t do scary anything but I felt like expanding my horizons. I was hooked. I’ll be rewatching with my husband so we can make this a regular weekly watch! During the special preview we had an amazing mixed filled with great food, wine and drinks, photo booth, and we met baby Jericho!

I loved that they made sure as we mingled we had great options. This isn’t even all of the food available. Allied Philadelphia and the Philadelphia Film Center definitely know how to make a spread! The lines to see the preview were long. I’m glad to have been on the VIP list to get first dibs on a great experience.

Thanks to The Bosco for having a great photo booth available. You can see the gif on my Instagram and in the More Philly highlights!

During our time of mingling I got a chance to meet baby Jericho. Baby Jericho already let me know what I was walking into. I love the babies but Baby Jericho is definitely different. Even just seeing baby Jericho I felt uneasy.

Look how life like? This will be the question immediately to be answered? This is the only clue I’m giving!!! Pay attention. If you ever watched any movie from M. Night Shyamalan you know the clues mean everything to the mystery as it unfolds.

They locked our phones down. I couldn’t even get a pic of the lock down pads used but yes when they say you will not be recording today they meant it!

I had a blast. I was able to connect with other fellow bloggers as well from Philly Black Bloggers:

For me to say I’m hooked and can’t wait to watch this series speaks volumes! So what are you doing this Thanksgiving? Yes that’s right, you’re watching Servant on AppleTV +!

So cozy up with the fam bam and let me know how it goes tomorrow!!!

Thank you Allied Philadelphia for the invite! Thanks to AppleTV +, The Bosco, Philadelphia Film Center and of course M. Night Shyamalan for making a masterpiece!

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Monday Motivation: Thanksgiving Edition

It’s that time of the year! It’s time to carve literal time to be with family and friends. Depending on what your plans look like will determine if you are in a high level of stress or not.

Pace Yourself

If you’re planning a big dinner make sure you plan out your meal ahead of time even if that means you are doing it today. It’s not when you start it’s about being clear about what you need and when you need it. Do not allow stress to take over. Take each stride as slow as possible. This means simply making a list and dividing and conquering. You could grab what you need first which would be your must haves and then slowly decide if your optional items are really necessary. Sometimes what we feel we have to have isn’t something as necessary.

Delegate

It’s okay to delegate. It’s okay to outsource your help. Sometimes we don’t have to do it all! We don’t have to make it hard. Sometimes simply giving someone the reins will aid your self-care. You don’t have to be everywhere and at every second. If you have someone willing to bring a dish or two allow them. If someone is able to do the dishes, let them! If you want to scratch the whole cooking idea; let someone else cook. Go to a friends or even a restaurant.

Remember what Matters Most

Even in all of the busyness of the day and the week you have to take the time to know what matters. What matters isn’t prefect dishes but it’s about making memories. So look beyond a few issues as they pop up. I think about all of the people who would love to be in your shoes. Not just those who have transitioned but the living who don’t have someone in their lives in any capacity or those who feel broken. They don’t care about whether or not the rolls were forgotten or not. They just want to be around people who genuinely make them feel special and loved.

Realignment

It’s no better time to realign with matters to you most. It’s a matter of resifting your desires and how to make it all come together!!

My desire is that you go into this week with a sense of calm as you truck along your to do list. I hope you enjoy your meals should you choose to have one. I hope that things are well within your life. It’s one thing to have a smile on your face that you force but to have genuine joy is what I pray for each and everyone of you!

This Monday let’s take charge of the real!! Let’s take charge of our self care during this week of being thankful in the form of a formal dinner. I say that because we can be grateful in many forms it’s just the time to do so over a meal. A meal is always something that brings people closer.

Help in Our Own Community

What do you have a mix of community service, 31 consultant, and hygiene kits? You have Crystal Capetillo. Taking on a mission of her own she’s making hygiene kits for those who are displaced.

I personally remember when I was younger and we went into a shelter. It’s one of those moments that keep me grounded. Not knowing what each day would bring was a bit unnerving. However I have to shout out my mom who made sure to keep us clean and put together. Apart of doing that had to come from having hygiene products. Being displaced you have to have a short list of items and not much in bulk to prevent others from taking from you.

Crystal is helping in those regards. What started as a project with World Vision through being a 31 Consultant has turned into a mission to help those in her own community right here in Philadelphia. Crystal along with Erica of whom I’ve interviewed and a team from Bethel Church will lead this charge!

Now here’s how we can help. These kits take time and money. The World Vision kite cost $16. After acquiring the kits they need to be put together. Crystal is in need of both. You can donate for the kits as well as help put together your kit. But there’s one last portion, each kit comes with a hand written letter or note. That made me smile because of someone being displaced that doesn’t mean that they are below humanity.

I watched my mom cry when she thought I was sleep. I know as a mom I couldn’t imagine what she was feeling as she watched over us at night! Having a hand written note letting her know she’s loved and never give up could mean the world of difference!

I personally stand behind this mission of Crystal and will be helping to assemble these kits. I’m asking if you’re able to consider donating by gifting towards her PayPal crystal.capetillo331@gmail.com!!

I can’t wait to see the kits go to fruition and be given to those who need it!!

National Celebrate Your Marriage

Marriage is beautiful. You see couples all in love holding hands and with their kissy face and that’s the images people tend to hold onto! What they don’t see in the background is the work it takes to keep a marriage alive and fresh.

Marriage is two people uniting to become one. In this oneness no one talks about the mirror that goes up immediately. You see yourself as you work out the kinks of unity. Sometimes it’s the first time you see yourself in all of its rawness. This is why it’s important to pick the right partner. The right partner will stand with you and not against you as you face this mirror of reality. The right partner will do the work to walk beside you without outing you to their friends and family. The right partner will love you through.

One of the things that even a right partner can’t do is make you happy. There isn’t a happy wife, happy life. Too many couples extend that mantra with an unhappy wife or husband at the core. This means that the husband is bending and bending for a woman who even with best interest will make the union unhappy. It goes both ways for wives with husbands. Marriage is work. Weddings are fun. Never put more energy into the wedding that you forget you are building a marriage.

When we first got married we didn’t have all of the right tools. We thought our love and history would be enough and sadly it wasn’t. In the first year we were already in counseling even though we had premarital counseling to start off with. We saw each other as the enemy. I had my own issues that couldn’t keep up with my own ideals of marriage. Happily we were given the tools but we still bumped heads very often.

Today I know we are more partners than we were in the first year. We make sure our own cups are full before we try to gift, work, or sex our way through issues. We enjoy the marriage more. We are able to bounce back quicker from an argument than before. We have separated interests and friends that we enjoy. We do things together as a couple and as a family. We fight on the same team instead of breaking down each other. We keep core issues within and limit outsourcing to the wrong people. We pray and keep spiritually connected. We have sex often. We enjoy each other’s presence. We fight fair. We give each other a time out to come back and talk about issues. We don’t mirror our marriage with another couple. We know what works for us and that’s something to celebrate! Perfection isn’t the outlook, but imperfectly working on the same team to make sure we stay strong, in love, healthy in mind and spirit is always what Team Storr is about!

To all marriages may you pour back into yourselves and celebrate every small victory like you do the big ones!