Be Coachable

The word coachabity usually is something you hear from small business owners or entrepreneurs. It’s the ability to sit and learn how to perform or get results. I’ve had a long history of sitting under coaches for various fields and here’s how you can apply the same method in life:

No one wakes up and is Denzel Washington. Even Denzel had to learn his acting craft and fine tune it. He is now one of the best actors of our time. So one way to be coachable is to listen. Drop the “I know what to do mantra” and listen not just hear. You can hear someone tell you how to do what you do but to listen means taking things in and applying.

Think about it in terms even if you’re not in business of your own, when you do go to a new job even with skills you must learn how the new job handles things. You don’t go in there declare you got this and just start working! You have to sit, listen and receive instructions. Don’t jump the gun! Learn and listening is the key to being coachable. You can have the desire to be number one all day but in order to do that you better gleam what the one who is in the number one spot did to become number one!

Another aspect of being coachable is having the ability to understand that you will fail in the beginning. I think even well talented folks need this crushing blow to the ego to be better! It’s life and you are going to have to have thick skin. So expect hardship and have the mindset to move beyond it! If you easily give up you are indeed not coachable. Failure is a setup for success. Think about the businesses that start in a person’s house, they have an idea but the prototypes usually are flawed until they persevere through them. You too will see your greatest potential and reward once you don’t give up or give in!

So get in the game of life, know you may get knocked down, let someone teach you a few things and be successful!


Weekly Recap: January 19, 2018

Is anybody other than me still struggling with writing 2018?  I don’t know why I am but I am.  It seems so weird to say but we are all the way into the New Year. One of the things that I can’t wait to do is to continue to enjoy. I don’t want a lot of things I could have done, I want to look back and say I did.

Personal Goals:

I was able to finally book my solo trip. I had been debating if I was going to open this trip up to friends but I decided to do it on my own.  Everything in the world that I have read have all confirmed this trip.  Shout out to Demetria Lucas who I look up to so much who talked about tips on traveling alone recently.  This was after I had booked the trip.  Trips alone for me are something I want to add and luckily I can cross that off of my list for this year.  I will blog it once I am back but that wont be until April.  Just know where I will be going will be sun and heat.  I can’t stand this cold it’s getting on my nerves so in the mean time I will just envision myself there.

Shout out to my cousin Thalia who had the most amazing Sweet Sixteen.  It was great to be able to hang out with family to dance, drink, and eat.  Thalia is such a hard working young lady with the grades to prove it. I pray that as you continue in your walk that you get smarter, stronger, and make a beautiful mark in this world!

Go Eagles

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The Eagles won! That was a major game. Although we didn’t get to see the game, it was definitely great to hear that they had pulled the W! This weekend we will see if the Eagles has what it takes to make it to the Super Bowl!

As far as workouts I did the damn thing this week! I gave myself a rest day yesterday since I worked out everyday.  It feels good to know that I also have some fitness plans coming up in my weekend!

Shout out to my oldest daughter who got Peacemaker award at her school.

Blog Goals

Thank you to everyone who continues to read and support. It’s a blessing to do what you love.  If you have missed any blogs you may want to catch up ToiTimeBlog

This week we covered a lot of Ask Toi questions as well as talked on the life of Dr. King.  Today I even posted about a time where I was drowning in depression, self-pity, and etc and had to learn how to pull myself out of that.  So shout out to all of those who feel like there is only one string left and you are still holding on.  It doesn’t feel good in the fight but once you come out if you learn the lesson you can combat whatever comes your way applying some new-found skills!

What’s Coming Up for ToiTime?

One I’m continuing to crush these work outs and good eating.  What you eat is important as what you do with your body.  I am working on getting my runs aka 5K set for the year.  I also working on attending one blog conference this year as well.  So if you didn’t know we are traveling and doing more events this year.

In addition a new month is upon us, February.  The month of love. As always I plan to talk to my singles who seem to get missed in this month and give you some survival skills as this month takes a toll on those who desire to be with someone and are not.  It’s a real life feeling that when you have someone you tend to forget.

Also early this year I need to work on those ladies who want to shine a light on a part of their life that they overcame. I need women from all walks of life and backgrounds.  Don’t worry I do all of the work and all I need you to do is be open, willing and transparent.  I think so far I have written some honorable pieces. This will come out in March but I need to do all of my interviewing now.  If you are interested let me know by sending me an email to


Thanks, until next time-find something that you are passionate about or something that makes you happy and do it well!

2017 ReCap Greats, Misses, Lessons Learned!

It is that time of the year.  We are almost to Christmas and with that signal means that the New Year is soon here as well.  Although this year like with every year has had its challenges, it also has had some very good points as well.

We will always love you Mom Mom

As we began 2017 we were dealing with the death of my mother in law and trying to get through with everything you can imagine going along with it.  We were all over the place physically and emotionally. We pulled through and continue to make strides as we keep her legacy alive.


Also each of my children’s health has been A1! Let me insert a praise break here.  Both of my older kids have asthma and if you have a child with asthma you know that any and everything can trigger things to go left. They were in school all year and they didn’t miss many activities and that in itself is a blessing. Also along with my kids, my son started his first year of grade school aka kindergarten.  I am proud of his transition to grade school. He is doing a great job.  For my youngest she has been able to transition between daycare and is doing well.  My oldest is doing well and is super active in Girl Scouts.  I can’t say enough I am proud of this year’s progress!


We finally was able to take a long needed baecation.  We celebrated 5 years of marriage and although its had a lot of down within our marriage, we are glad to say that we are making it through and are at peace and in love with one another. We had a blast on our baecation.  We were able to do what grown folks do, lounge around, sleep in, eat well, drink well, and enjoy some sun and fun.  I pray that 2018 allows us to go to a few more places, but 2017 you did your thing.  Shout out to my sister in love and brother for keeping our little people as we enjoyed some much-needed time away.


Also of trips and time together we also are getting on the same page.  That in itself is a blessing. It’s hard to keep the love flowing from a place of contention.  It’s one thing to argue but to have a continual flow of dislike or disagreement and nothing being resolved, it wears you down as a person and wears at your union.  We have a few goals that I won’t talk about but just know that marriage is work and we are doing our work daily and checking in with one another more!


Our family have been good.  Shout out to a new baby on the way. My brother and sister in love are having a new addition and I can’t wait for the Spring to get here so AT can love on another little.  Also shout out to my brother and mom who both graduated this year!! Yall better keep on going and getting your education.  Also to my twin who is making some awesome strides in her life and is doing an awesome job raising my niece.  Also I am making sure to do all I can to open up more to family.  I am not one usually to do that.  I like being in comfort of others but there are times when I absolutely need my space.  This is why it’s super easy for me to dismiss others quickly. My introvert ways creeps up way more than my extrovert ways will ever.


I have been able to maintain and keep my work out schedule tight.  I actually have made changes to my settings on my Fitbit.  If you have one you know that you can make it really challenge you to be super active. Shout out to my Fitbit family for the step challenges-yall motivate me to keep moving and claim that top spot.  Also this year thanking God for getting that hysterectomy and FINALLY not being anemic.  To be able to be cold when you’re supposed to be instead of all day long is a blessing. To be able to not have ice in your cup because ice is life is great too.  Also just the general ability to be able to walk around knowing that you are healthy is a blessing. Please understand that so many wish this was their life and sadly it’s not.
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For 2018 I will be making or should I say already making changes to the way I work out.  When I first got my Fitbit this year,  I only set it for 7000 steps even though I was doing more than that.  I made the change to at least 10000 steps a day since I am confident with my history that 15000 steps is more likely what I will achieve daily.  I also will be doing more challenges within the Fitbit community.  I also will be signing up for barre classes instead of Soul Cycle.  My doctor has suggested that this will alleviate some of the injuries that Soul Cycle has given me. Not to say that Soul Cycle isn’t a great work out because it is but with me working out 5 days a week, running one day a week, I need to add more core training to my regiment.  So that is the goal for 2018 if I could set a fitness goal for the upcoming year.  I still will be keeping a journal of my workouts and what I eat.  This is not for calorie counting.  This is to continue in my Weight Watchers.  Any time that I haven’t written things down, I have noticed that I will not be accountable for what I eat.  I am looking forward to some new menus for myself as well.



I have talked about this numerous times and I plan on opening up about it a lot more in the future.  When I was in college I was the epitome of the college student.  The one you could find on top of a bar, never missed a party, always ready for whatever and whenever.  I find now that part of my life is downsized, that going out especially doing anything where I attend something by myself makes me freak out.  This year, I have stepped out and attended a lot of events by myself. I have traveled a lot more alone and I have taken chances by being more visible.  I have named 2018 my personal Eat, Pray, and Love year and with that in mind, I am in the works with a lot of activities that will allow me to attack this anxiety and get passed it.

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People don’t even know that I suffer because once I am in a place and I am comfortable I am fine.  However I get sick, I feel like I can pass out, I don’t want to go, I try to back out, I go through it often.  I know that others like me are out there.  Although I have found ways of pressing through it I never want to act as if I am just this bundle of joy all the time.  Social anxiety is very real however I choose to be present and push past fear.

Social Media

Listen, when I tell you I could tell you every tea on most of your celebrities trust I could.  I could blog on that all day long since just like our lives, they are messy too.  However I have taken such a huge step. Often times it doesn’t show up or isn’t trending I won’t really know about it.  I have cut the fat on what I watch, what I entertain, who I engage in.  This has been super helpful.  I am not saying I am perfect but what I will say it has allowed me to be calmer in my own personal life. I don’t feel the need to clap back at things or people as much because I am not watching these images all the time.  This is my PERSONAL choice and not one that I would say hey you need to do at all.  This walk has always been personal but if you’re wondering the benefits of cutting back, they do exist. I also stop following a lot of pages, etc.  I used to make sure I aligned myself with a lot of drama and lately the cut back has served my personal space well.  This spillage has done well in almost every area of my life.  I let a lot of battles go and just realized that not every battle is mine.  Most of the time it’s almost like fighting air. Folks gon be folks.


I had the pleasure of reconnecting with my aunt this year.  Again this has been over 30 years in the making. Since that reunion I make it my business to be sure that I communicate more with her and do what I need to do on my side when it comes to her.  Also I have noticed that I have finally taken more steps to find that some relationships I had in the past have served their purposes.  I am not saying that discovering that has been fun.  I feel like there were a few snubs, a few disappointments, a few folks that I didn’t realize I missed and will attempt to reconnect with soon.  This is a part of adulting that people don’t talk about. Letting go is hard.  It is not always easy but it is always necessary.  So to the chapters that got closed, I don’t understand it but soon I am sure I will or maybe I won’t.  To the new chapters that have opened, I have found some awesome new contacts.  There are a few relationships that I closed that I am soul searching to discover if it was me closing it just to be petty or was the pain that was caused needing this close.  There is a large chunk that will remain closed.  I have made sure that I keep in contact with those that I needed to.  I really used to have a bad history of just being a one-sided friend.  I have stepped it up because in reality its necessary not just for what those friendships or relationships give to me, but what I give to them as well.



I will be starting a new position within the same company starting at the beginning of the year.  Won’t he do it! It’s a bit bitter-sweet but welcoming new challenge.  I also interested in continuing to learn more, grow, and always secure my coins. I got a lot of things to do and planned for 2018 and its going to take all of my coins to do it.

This year has been like I said filled with some ups and downs.  There are things that have happened that has caused me to figure out my life more. I really just want to drink water, mind my business, keep that credit score going up. continue to be debt free, be an awesome mother, a dynamic partner and wife to my husband, a great daughter, awesome aunt and sibling, make sure my career takes off, and be a great blogger! That alone along with keeping this body fit is more than enough to get me through 2018.  So as we soon say good-bye know that I have a lot of goals that are an extension of the work I have been putting in from 2017.  I have some travel goals, some more me time activities planned, and just looking for the yearly renew.  I have always said and its true, birthdays and New Year Day is always the best time to hit the reset button.  I also practice hitting that reset button daily as well.





Weekend Recap: Monday October 30

I usually give a weekly recap but I was off from my daytime job on Friday and spent some time getting some things in order as well as attended some activities with my kids. So let’s recap:

Personal Goals:

So I am happy to report that after having my surgery I got a clean bill of health. I also found out that my blood has restored itself, is healthy and I am no longer anemic.  Let me insert a praise break for that news right there.

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I have STRUGGLED with anemia since I started getting a cycle.  I have had so many complications and I never would have dreamed of this day. But it is here and I am over the moon excited.  It’s a great feeling to have your health on point and it only took almost my whole life to get it there.  I am grateful for that!

As many as you know I went to the Together Live 2017 conference and had a time. You can catch up on that blog as it’s already posted. We celebrated my mother in law and it was just somber.  All of the emotions of the year before were so fresh. I personally remember the events and hold my kids close to me.  We do NOT know our time and I would hate to not think I was giving them all I could everyday.  I am super honored and humbled by my husband’s strength.  I also had a great weekend with my husband. We were able to get out and enjoy some time together adulting. As promised I am sharing this year’s costume so you can see the difference in what a year looks like.  We are still not finished yet. We are taking active roles in eating right, working out, and being intentional in our goals.  So yes it takes work.  I was over 250 in the second pic to my now of almost to my 150 goal. Thats a lot of weight to come off but I did it the right way, no short cuts.

This year’s costume:


Compared to last year’s costume:


Huge difference in weight for both of us and our overall health.  We are out here trying to live our best lives.

Blog Goals:

So in case you missed you blogged about: Sunday’s message-don’t duplicate someone else’s shine, Monday push through, wait your turn, the cold weather depression, 30 years in the making, an Ask Toi about apologizing to a co-worker, Together Live 2017, Never Forgotten, and lastly Sunday Message-Complaints do nothing.  A lot huh?  Absolutely.  We are out here blogging that’s for sure. There is always something for everyone. So to catch up, click the link; ToiTime Blogs

What’s Coming Up for ToiTime?

I will be attending this weekend the Starry Night which is an organization that helps in raising money for kids with brain cancers. I would hope that no child would ever have to go through cancer of any for let alone brain cancer.  So if you would like to donate to the walk, you can; Starry Night 2017

I will be adding other conferences and events as we get closer.

The biggest thing that is coming up is my blogiversary.  Yes 3 years this November.  I will be posting contests so please stay tuned to my ToiTime Facebook page.  All announcements on prizes and games will be on the Facebook page alone!  Only announcements of winners may be on the blog.

I hope you have a great week! Happy Halloween to all who celebrate it.  Please be safe! Google places to actually scan your kids candy.  They exist.  Please wear reflective gear when you travel and try to travel in groups.  Check your kids’ candy!


Oooo Oooo Organized Life

So Fall is coming.  I am super excited.  Fall and Summer play step sisters with me on who is the favorites.  With that in mind, its time to end the last quarter of the year.  Literally 2018 will be here before you know it. I know we don’t want to think about it but its true. So while some will focus on making new goals the goal in that is to complete the ones you have started.  Yes how can you make 2018 and just throw caution to the wind on 2017. Let’s end 2017 off right.

What I like about the fact that 2017 still has a few months left is that you have time to make some great strides.  Think about September is around the corner so that leaves 3 months to literally get your life.  Didn’t work out?  You have 3 months to still lose some pounds.  Time to get it right and tight can still happen.  How?  Dedicate yourself.  That is half the battle.  In the Fall there is a thousand activities to aid in that.  Remember you got to get something down pack before the Winter blues enter in.  Do it before the snow and cold will convince you that you can’t go outdoors.  Where to get your motivation? Instagram? Facebook?  YES and no.  Your biggest motivation is in the mirror?  When you get up and hate the way your clothes fit no matter what your size, that is motivation saying hey fix this. Motivation is always around you its a matter of not drowning motivation’s cries as you reach for that second donut.  Trust me I get it, my husband brought donuts home last night.  I had one today and walked away before motivation could kick me in the behind.

One of the other ways of getting organized is preparing.  For all of the parents who are about to send their children off, get organized now.  Start labeling your school supplies and clothes.  Every year thousands of dollars are wasted because some other kid had your child’s stuff because it wasn’t adequately labeled.  I cut this mess in half by ordering labels from Dinkleboo and getting the offer through Groupon for 5.00.  I will not be sitting around labelling things with a sharpie this year.  It’s time-consuming.  Now I can have the kids slap their own labels on their stuff and bag it up.  Yes for a mommy win. You can do the same in your adult life.  Can you prepare before hand?  Sure can.  Many people complain about not having time to cook, I call BS on it.  Yes I said BS.  We know what that means.  It’s called not enough preparation.  I am super busy with 3 kids all under the age of 10, I blog, I work full-time, I work out, I have a husband, and I have a social life.  Go figure.  So how do I manage? A plan, a crock pot, a planner and a changed mindset.

So armed with a little motivation I plan ahead and work my plan.  I make it into a game. Right now 9pm is the end game.  Which means on Sundays I do laundry, meal prep by making 3 meals with 3 different selections at one time, and get all of the running around of life done by 9pm.  Why?  I personally treat myself every Sunday to a glass of wine and I “wine down” with my Sunday shows.  This is how I get through it.  I have the music on, I dance around but I get it done.  I look like a Tornado has hit my house but by 9pm, all bags are set on the couch to grab including gym bag, lunches are ready, breakfast plans are done, and dinners are already set.  This ensures that if I have a hectic Monday, I will at least have my life together on some spectrum.  I will at least cut down on a thousand items being forgotten and left. Oh and I start out with writing out what needs to be done by looking at my calendar ahead of time.  Too much work?  No, but having stress over the things I could have prevented is worth it.

Speaking of list, a planner will aid in this. I already ordered and designed my 2018 planner.  You can order one from  personal planner and they are on sale now.  Why? Back to school.  You can catch a sale now. This is the time to get your entire life together. College and back to schools make getting your home, and personal life right.  The sales I have gotten for new running sneakers, athletic gear, home, apparel, etc is crazy right now. I believe that life doesn’t have to cost that much and I rarely pay full price for anything.  Get to these sales.  Get to the makeover of your personal life.  I truly believe in order to be a better wife and mother I have to be a better me.  As I get things in order for my own heart’s desires the happier and more settled on the inside I have become.

Get involved.  My biggest compliant if there is one is not having local friends to do things with.  I have literally gotten out of my shell by attending events on my own.  I have signed up for all kinds of events for the Fall already.  I have (4) 5Ks set, a blog conference, and just some socializing that my Fall and Winter are about to be too lit.  Yes lit.  I am excited as I look at the colors flowing on my planner of fun non mommy, non wife activities that are building me up.  So what are you waiting for?  Are you planning on beating yourself up for the rest of the year?  Are you planning to be super sad come 2018 over the lack of planning that you did in 2017?  Get it right.  Get it tight.  Get your life and organize the hell out of it.

Make a list of things YOU need.  Make one for your home.  Make one for your job and any organizations you are involved in. Have you gotten your physical and all of your health appointments set or did you start?  If you say no to either question, you can start by getting your personal health together.  You should have seen your doctor, your eye doctor, dentist, and any other physician for any other underlying health issues you have? Have you been to the gym or met with a nutritionist?  Make it happen.  Have you set all of your kids appointments for the same?  Then you have some work to do.  If you are in a relationship do you need to outsource for help?  This could mean counseling.  This could mean scheduling some US time.  US time is actually great medicine.  My husband and I was finally able to get a little baecation and it did wonders.  We were able to refresh our love, get away and not have to share food with little people, and relax.  We set relationship goals for the rest of they year.  We spoke TO and not AT each other. This is going to be helpful before the school year kicks in.

What about your finances?  Do you have life insurance, health insurance, and an emergency savings?  These are goals that should be in place or things you are actively working towards.  Also no more go fund me accounts for funerals.  Get life insurance. It’s a shame we put more emphasis on what we have on our bodies and what we eat than for the future.  Also what about wills, powers of attorneys?  None of that? Then it’s time to get in touch of a great attorney.  If you live in PA and want one that can work remotely in helping you along, than email me for a great contact.  Trust me life is too temporal to be out here not handling your business.

You have options on where to start.  Start with your health, finances, personal growth, new job searching, anything but start now and finish the year strong.

Weekly Recap: May 5, 2017

Well I am hoping that your week has been a good one.  Mine has been and is expected to get much better.  This is my birthday weekend trip with the girls.  I am super excited.   My last time traveling them was in 2013 maybe to Miami and before then in 2008 Miami again.  I love Miami if you can’t tell.  However this time we switching things up and being grown in the city of Chicago.  It’s important for me as a woman to keep my connections as tight as possible.  On this journey to keep myself rounded means I can not only tap into my domesticated titles aka mommy and wife. I am first Toi and Toi needs to be happy and whole to be the best in those titles.  I have some new blogs coming out about how we ladies have to be strong and confident even when things and others attempt to pull on our insecurity.  Insecurity creeps in all of us, men too.  The best thing is when you can look into the mirror and smile at the creation that God made you and be happy in your skin.  I know it seems I am on all this self-improvement but if you don’t have self-love what do you have?  I had to have an ugly cry this week.  It was super cleansing but like momma always say cry on your own time don’t let these folks see you sweat.


  1. Trump care or F the Obama care as I have seen it described is on its way to be reversed.  Trump’s full agenda isn’t fully clear but the basis is if you are poor or old, you better not get sick or be screwed.  Nothing about healthcare under Trump will appease women either.  I am super glad I am not pregnant right now.  My anxiety would be that much more in a spiral.  My suggestion is to start with your local government.  Be vigilant to get the facts and stay away from the foolishness which will be super hard given leadership is almost dipped in it.
  2. Basketball for women is now allowing for hijab.  This is a great thing.  I think that in this melting pot of a world we need to allow those who to express their religious and culturally difference.  So this is a step in the right direction.
  3. Flying which I am doing right now are having issues lately.  It started with United Airlines and now Delta is getting into the action.  A family was kicked off a flight with kids after a mix up about seating. I think the airlines are about to have a major overhaul with how they treat customers. It’s about time.  Wouldn’t you want to keep everyone safe and happy to keep the coins coming in?  No?!
  4. Trayvon Martin will receive a posthumous degree in aeronautical science from Florida Memorial University.  It would be even better if Martin was here to pursue and earn his own degree but his life was cut short after he was shot and killed in 2012 by George Zimmerman.  We still hurt over the degree by which black men are devalued.
  5. Last but certainly not least, 15-year-old Jordan Edwards was shot and killed by police as he was leaving a party.  It is speculated that he and the occupants of the vehicle including his brother was shot at while leaving the scene.  No it is not being said that they were causing a disturbance, they were just black and an over zealous cop shot and killed him.  Now I can’t imagine knowing my brother is in the car bleeding to death as I am hand cuffed and being questioned. My hurt goes out to Edwards family and all families in these situations. I am not anti cops I have cops in my own family, but I am anti racist cops who are out here innocent people.

Personal Highs

I am 2 more pounds down and 5 to goal.  Yay! I can’t tell you how excited I am for this goal. I have worked hard, ate right, worked out tired and exhausted but I am super close.  Also this week my daughter is killing it in school.  I am super happy when my kids do what they need to do.  We teach them nothing in life is free.  It takes hard work.  She also will be having her first communion.  I am proud of her choice to step up and apply what she wants in her life.  Can’t be mad at a child that actively tries to apply herself?! Way to go Naila!! Oh did I mention that we both have birthdays coming up.  May is a good month for the Storr women!!!!


  1. Protect your babies-the amount of cruel and deadly force being used on kids is heart breaking.  A lot of it comes from non parental aka boyfriends and side pieces that we as women leave them with cause we just “love him.”  You better make sure he love them babies just as much as you do and don’t leave them with these men so freely giving them access to harm your babies.

Personal Lows

This has been a crazy week. I have done some over time and the exhaustion has been unbelievable.  However I have slept a little better than last week.  This week has been about controlling my negative thoughts.  I am one of those thinkers so when something has been said I have to admit my get back is quite strong.  I will begin to think of ways to get cha.  However because I am more mindful of it I have tried to combat it with positive thoughts and know that people will usually get theirs.

Also I will blog about an argument I had this week.  It wasn’t a full argument but as I never want to put my business out there are a few things that women need to get from it and that and that alone I will talk about.  Everything is about learning and growing.

Well again I will most likely blog a little less this weekend as my girls and I will have the time of our lives.  But next week I will be releasing some new and old mom blogs in honor of Mother’s Day.  If you still want to participate in the Mother’s Day blog for next week please email me at toitimeblog@gmail,com


Hidden Figures with my 7 year old

So this weekend I dedicated a lot of my energy towards my children.  I direct most of my time for them all the time.  As a mom they are always on my radar.  However with a few changes that we have coming up it is equally important for me to take out to spend quality time with them.  In the beginning I had planned on taking my son and my daughter but right before I was about to leave, he decided he wouldn’t be able to sit for the 2 hours.  I respected it.  I can find another way to give him the same lesson.

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So onward my daughter and I went to have a little mommy and me time.  She has been talking about this movie since she saw the previews.  I had already seen it the weekend it came out.  I wanted to prescreen to make sure it was okay for her to actually see.  So now it is the time.  I watched her at so many points to make sure she was okay.  One particular part that had me in tears and the whole theatre was the part (spoiler alert) when Katherine played by Taraj Henson had to keep walking to the bathroom for colored women and that bathroom was about a mile away.  Katherine had enough of this when she was asked where she goes when she’s not in her seat.  If you saw the movie it was such a moving moment. My daughter is crying saying mommy why can’t she just go to the potty with the other women?  I am telling her it’s because she is black.  She cries and says people are super mean.  For a 7-year-old that is the perfect response.  She then tells me that mommy there are some mean people like that today and I sure hope I don’t have to meet any of them. That is my prayer for her as well.  I hope she doesn’t have to meet those types of people but the reality is I know that may not be the case.  My great grandparents meet them, my grandparents, my parents, and even I have met them same people.

My hope is although the movie is outstanding is that we can begin to allow all people’s ability to show regardless of color, creed, etc.  It hurts my heart that we live in this world that my daughters may have the same education as a male counterpart but paid significantly lower due to them sitting on the toilet and not standing to pee.  I would love for my kids not to have to be at a traffic stop and go through extra protocol just because they are brown.  I think of my son.  He is 5 and is the same height as his 7-year-old sister, wears the same size clothes and shoes as well.  His dad is 6 feet 1 and no doubt he will either match or surpass him in height.  He will be perceived as a threat even if he is in a suit and tie.  My son has said things like daddy what if you get arrested from a traffic violation and don’t come home.  He is 5.  He already gets it.

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I am so happy that movies like this are being shown.  It’s time for some amazing people to be showcased.  We know there are countless others who haven’t been recognized and deserve their just due.  I am hoping that if you haven’t taken the time to see it that you will consider.  It opened up some great conversation with my daughter and allowed me to be able to empower her to be even more strong and confident even when people are dismissive of her talents and gifts.