Recovery Day

Things have been going well. I am not complaining at all. But today, was a day! Usually I feel I am good at dealing but today tested that theory.  As much as I talk about the good days, I’ve also said that I would highlight the bad ones.

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It wasn’t one thing that made my day bad it was a combination.  Without getting too deep into it and boring you out of your mind, let me just say that I had to think quick on my feet on how to attack each issue and today was the day I allowed every negative thought, self-doubt, etc attack. Shout out on being able to call my husband on days like today where I felt I needed support.  I could have easily reached out to friends but I just didn’t have the energy to do so.  My husband was there to listen to each thing, and offer many suggestions that he knew I wouldn’t take initially.  You sir are the MVP.

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Walk it Out

I finally got some mental relief by taking a walk in the sun.  Something about being outside even for a few minutes that boosts the spirits.  I took a drink of water with me, made to apply some sunscreen and sat in the sun with my music on and looked around. I didn’t go on my social media to look at what others was doing, simply minded my own business and enjoyed a few minutes of sun and reflected on the pep talk my husband and I had.  Soon as I came back, things lined right back in place.  I realized that at this new job I have been running non stop for days and I haven’t had a break.  I will incorporate a break daily going forward.  This job is super demanding but I will do some work self-care to get me through.  I also noticed that break helped me work on my personal goals that I needed to attack and line up for the weekend.  Trying to manage time and get everything in with a full household full of folks that all have to be places is not always as easy I make it look and that’s with my husband’s hands on help.

So today, take a break! Simply get some air.  Clear your mind and do take a social media break even if it’s for a few moments. Do not let anything rob you of peace of mind and definitely don’t be the one who gets on your own last nerves.  You got this!

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Monday Inspiration: The Protection of No

Happy Monday to you.  Today I want to talk about the pain that comes along with NO.  Like children when we hear no we may experience a plethora of feelings.  From being disappointed, to hurt, to anger.  What you wanted and where you are in that journey makes your NO levels different.

If you were in what you thought was a loving relationship and you felt the next step was marriage only to find out that the person you held so dear to you is a fake, that NO that he failed you and the pain of starting all over again can be devastating. What about the pain in the NO when you are job searching?  Job searching is a numbers game at times.  You may hear several NOs in your lifetime where that is concerned.  Trust me.  When I got laid off of my job in 2010 right after having my premature daughter I was devastated.  I was thinking what in the world am I going to do?  I moved to Philadelphia and found out I was pregnant again.  Out of my element and new to a city I decided to take some time off and do the stay at home mom thing.  It was harder than I anticipated.  The time I decided to go back to work, I heard so many NOs my heart actually hurt.  I felt like I would be at home forever.  No after NO after NO began to chip at my spirit.  I am human I thought I have a college degree and experience why is this happening.  But it did.

During those difficult times of hearing NO and the mix emotions I felt, I got stronger.  I felt like I was taken a thousand steps back but I got stronger. I got a job and then began to progress to where I am now but the story wasn’t an easy one.  I have had moments where I second guessed myself. I cried.  I cursed from being so angry. I was miserable. I had to get it together.  So if you woke up and all you can do is hold onto the pain of NO, I get that.  Hear me clearly, when you let it go and walk with the sting of the pain and move forward you may not get that YES the same day, but you will if you don’t quit. At the very moment of quitting you will get a YES.  Put the work in.  Take moments along the journey of NO to renew your mind.  You may have to do this daily.  Whatever it takes, don’t faint and don’t quit.  There is protection in NO.  NO means something else is out there for you.  No means that the journey you paved for yourself wasn’t the journey YOU needed to be your best self.  Shocking how we think we know everything we need until life throws something our way to prove that we don’t.  Strive for excellence.  You can walk through the pain without the pain knocking your will to live out of you.  The protection is making sure you don’t walk further in pain.  There are people in places God never intended because instead of listening to the NO and letting it protect them, they let their personal desires walk them willingly into some mess and now they are miserable.  They shouldn’t be in that place and they know it.  Sometimes that stubborn will have you walking in circles.  When things don’t work out there is a reason.  If you are running late to a place, there is reason.  It’s protection.  Yes its frustrating but you don’t know what you are about to walk in.  Trust the process.  Have faith and walk in the sting of the pain don’t let the pain of NO overtake you.

Sunday Message: I’ll make it!

If you’re feeling defeated know that this feeling is normal. It happens to the best of us. Don’t beat yourself up further because of this fleeting feeling.

What you can do is turn this feeling around. Defeat can only overtake your mindset when you keep feeding defeat with reasons why you should give up. You will not struggle with reasons why to give up. Those ideas flow easily. It’s finding reasons to push through that may be the hardest. One thing to remember it only takes one reason not to give up to stay in the fight. Only one!

When I felt that I was at my lowest moment and trust me I’ve had many it always starts off with a situation that seemed to spiral out of control. Most of the times I allowed it to get to that point. It could be with a bad choice or decision. Whatever pushed it towards that spiral I played a huge hand in its outcome. So then depression sets in with the old I will never get out of this talk. Which if you live a little the hardest things never truly overtake you. Then you find yourself overthinking until you fall asleep.

I wasn’t resting because I needed strength to do better, often times it was to escape what I had going on. If this is your first hard time just know when you wake up trouble is still sitting there looking at you with a strong side eye wondering what you are gonna do!!

The best way through a defeated mindset is to acknowledge that you’re there. Don’t hide at all. Don’t sugar coat your moment. Speak up and expose it. The times I would say man I’m in over my head it was almost like a light bulb would come on. I knew at that moment that I had to get it together. Hiding only masks it and allows for more negativity to build with it.

Here are a few things that helps me:

  1. Talk to the right people-not just your friend but a friend who is consistent. If you’re friend is going to use the information just to remind you of how much better they are then you, that’s the wrong friend.
  2. Find out what your options are even the ones you don’t want to hear.
  3. Find a solution! Sometimes we say we want answers but hide not to deal with it. Hit it head on so the fear of the situation loses its sting.
  4. Get clear-pray or meditate to get yourself some guidance and clarity
  5. Tell only key players. The ones who will truly lend a hand are the ones who are on a need to know
  6. Know that this is a temporary test. As hard as it looks you will not die in the moment even if you lost a lot in this fight! What’s lost needed to be lost for your overall purpose.
  7. Cry-it’s not a sign of weakness but release the pain that the situation has caused and work towards holding fast onto the lessons that were necessary!

Defeat is temporary and necessary. You will not win every battle but if in life you lose to gain what is rightfully yours then this setback is definitely vital to your journey. Chin up, you will make it through.

I used to sing a song in the choir and the worlds were: sink or swim, live or die I’ll make it! You will make it even if all hell breaks lose! You got this!! Enjoy the song if you listen, the nuggets will carry you through anything!! Enjoy your Sunday and refuel!!

I’ll make it!!

Don’t lose it!

Often times when you react to a situation you can either gain or lose ground.  I’ve often said many times in the past that after I’ve apologized, why is it people won’t forgive and move on? The answer is simple people remember what you do not what you say.

I’m not suggesting that you can’t ever get to a place where people look past your faults but there’s a good chance they may not.  You don’t get to gain ground by acting a fool.  You ever see someone who is older and is supposed to know better but then something they say or their behavior makes you lose all respect for them?  They don’t get the opportunity to speak into you after those moments occur.

I know I’ve been a victim of over reacting to a situation or person and finding myself with my foot in my mouth.  We are supposed to find out all the facts or create an outlet that when something is happening, one doesn’t have to look a fool.  Once you’re labeled a fool it’s hard to change the persona.  If you have ever found yourself in this scenario, you have to make your changes and not look for others to acknowledge your change.  In this time, people want and need acknowledgement.  You are going to have to be comfortable in your skin and move forward for yourself.

Yes in an ideal world, people would be so forgiving but often times they aren’t.  Don’t let the opinions of others deter you from being the best you that you can be.  Also don’t make excuses for the times where you have allowed something or someone pull on your emotions and make you break character.  Being honest with yourself and where you are in your walk in life is important.  Acknowledge that you need help.

Self control is another issue that comes into play when you’re in a situation to react correctly.  It’s hard to not give in and allow the situation to dictate what you say or do.  Just remember your character and integrity are always on the line.  True integrity is doing the right thing no matter who is watching.

Don’t lose it.  Don’t give in to the negativity that is all around you.  Once you lose ground by your reactions it’s hard to get it back.  The test wasn’t in the person or thing, but in you to see your response to the difficulty.  Don’t give a person a reason to say I told you he/she wasn’t whatever they want to claim you are.  Make better choices and if you are around something or someone who is toxic, make the changes to get away.  Don’t live in negativity because it literally causes stress, anxiety, and takes away from any progress you were trying to make.

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