Happy national donut day!! I had one and I mean only one donut and couldn’t really eat much of anything else. I forced myself to have a healthy lunch because that donut was definitely a lot of empty carbs. Well I hope you all had a good week. We are coming off a 4 day weekend some of us anyway from Memorial Day. I hope you had a great holiday weekend. We celebrated my daughter’s birthday and had a really good weekend. No complaints. So as far as this short week it has definitely been filled with a lot of ups and downs. So let’s get into it.
Personal Highs/Personal Lows
This week I am going to put these two categories together. There is a lot going on and I told you lovelies I would update you. One we had a great time celebrating my now 8-year-old. Time is flying when you’re having fun right? We are also gearing up for my son’s preschool graduation. I know some people make a big deal that these types of graduations are pointless but it just gives the little people something to look forward to. I personally feel like celebrations are what makes life great. Those who know me know I will make his day special. That’s what I do. I feel like life is about making memories that they can look back on. It’s better than buying a bunch of material things.
Also this week I have been vigilant with my doctors to get me an answer. I have been suffering with migraines for quite some time. I am also anemic. However with the new diet my doctor made sure I had all of the supplements that one would need and I increased all of the iron enriched foods so you would think I was good right? Wrong. I am not. My doctors and I have decided that it was time to get a hysterectomy. I know for some they get it done when they have fibroids. I do not have them. I am losing too much blood. My blood volumes and levels are one step to more transfusions. For some they would say, why not start a pill that would decrease your period. However the thing is that I have already done that. I have been on pills off and on. I got my tubes tied when I had my 3rd and last child. I know some would say why put this out there? One its MY BODY and my page. Secondly being a woman going through women issues is not a place of shame and I refuse to hide like I did something wrong. That is pure craziness. Why would I keep it hush-hush when there are millions of women like me going through the same thing.
I am no wonder. I won’t be the first or the last. Ladies my decision was about what was best for me. I have to do what I need to do for ME. Was my husband there? Absolutely. I know my decision will have an affect temporarily on my home but I had to do what was best for me. No need to lose this weight, do all of this work and still be underlying unhealthy. That is sheer madness. I know what I need to do and I know what can happen if I don’t. I love me and I need to be here as well as I have little people who need to have a healthy mom. So with that in mind in the next week that is what I will be doing. Have I researched all of the options? Absolutely. This has been an ongoing back and forth thing. I am prepared for the steps after. I do NOT claim to know it all. However I am fully aware that the steps towards self-love will help me through the down side of this procedure. So with MY family’s support we will be fine. I have learned to tune out some of the naysayers. They will say don’t let them take nothing out. Meanwhile I can’t count on them to watch my kids when I am somewhere bleeding out. I can’t slide them a bill when I am off of work and missing time off. I can’t count on them to pick up a phone call to say how is it going. You see that was a free nugget right? I refuse to give folks who show you they are more concerned with their bottom line than mine make my health decisions. Got to keep pushing towards what will work for me and the ones that have to live through all of this.
So with that in mind you may see an increase in blogs. I will have more down time. Whenever I have downtime, I write and I read so be on the look out. I plan to blog the hell out of this situation. Not to get sympathy. I am one strong cookie. But to raise awareness. My heart goes out to the women who are medically forced to make this decision and desire to have children and can’t. I have 3 kids and already put in place the parimeters not to have more already. There is no child birth loss for me. So for the ladies with this loss, it is a loss. I researched this and I find comfort in reading other blogs of women who have gone through this. And with life we are all connected. Keep me in prayer and stay logged on twitter (toitiemblog) and facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/toitimeladies/) as I will update.
- Kathy Griffin out here with a replica of Donald Trump being beheaded and it has set off this major storm on insensitivity. I think for me and this is where MY opinion comes off. It was a bit much. However if the same ones were upset when the nooses was being shown with imagery of Obama was shown and not because he is Black alone but on the principle of right and wrong than okay. If not than you just being extra. What people don’t get is that your argument is more valid when it’s based on principle. Meaning you would extend the same sympathy to another like you want it done for your favorite than you have merit.
- Ireland will have its first openly gay prime minister after Leo Varadkar was elected into the office.
- Withdraw of Paris climate agreement.
- Continuation of the Russian influence of the election. Continue to stand by for breaking news of this ongoing legal battle.
So I pray you all enjoy your weekend. There are some good movies. I saw Wonder Woman and as I thought without giving things away, I walked away feeling great about being a woman. I may see it again if you’re looking for a quick should you go or not-there you go. I am taking the kids to see Captain Underpants tonight. Summer movies are really heating up. I plan on some me time and I have to work. So find an activity that you enjoy and make yourself feel like the beautiful gem that you are.
So we all have them right? Unless you are in business for yourself you have to work. I was always taught if you don’t work, you don’t eat. There are no handouts. Let me say even if you have landed your dream job, having others who you have to interact with can get annoying. It doesn’t mean you have to be at your wit’s end.
I am a firm believer in life not to allow any one person to get into my spirit so much that the sight of them makes my eyes squint. Now that is not to say that it hasn’t happened. It’s getting warmer out and although you would think that moods would be jolly people are people. These tips I am giving are the ones I use and reuse all the time.
- Don’t take your work home-give yourself about 5 minutes or so after you get off or after you speak to a friend or spouse about someone at the job and then let it go. The more energy you give a person even if they are not in your presence the more they irk you. Speak it and then release it and them.
- Know your supervisor. Sometimes knowing who you have to report will help the situation. There is always that co-worker that thinks he/she is your boss. Speak up. You are only going to get more frustrated if you don’t. You can professionally let people know where they can get on or off without being overly out-of-pocket. Little reminders of the such goes a long way trust me. You have to professionally back people off of you.
- Don’t Speak what you won’t do. If you are a talker and all you want to do is complain say that. However never put out in the atmosphere what you are going to do if you don’t plan to do it. People waste energy telling folks off and then don’t back it up. In an office setting there should be protocol in how you handle conflict. Deal with the issue and attempt to set aside the emotions of the situation.
- Be cordial-stop thinking that you have to be your co-workers friend. This false set of foolishness leads to more issues that can be squashed. If you and the co-worker don’t hang out outside of the office, stop allowing them to be on your social media networks and crossing the friendship line with you.
- You are in control of you. Adults should be their own person. Learn that in some situations hi and bye works. You are there to do your job or work on your projects. When you forget that at times you get caught up.
- Don’t get caught up in office banter. In order to have less problems learn when to disengage.
There will be tines when the list doesn’t work. Gasp. Yes people are people. Find it inside of you to stay in control. The biggest one is to learn to speak up. It’s usually the ones who hold everything in, and complain the most who have the worst interpersonal skills. They haven’t learned to walk in their adulthood. That alone will solve a lot of office issues. Never stoop to the annoying co-workers level. Remain in control. There’s a good chance they have rubbed others the wrong way as well. Never let them see you sweat. Since most of us don’t have bail money on deck, don’t lose control at work. Walk away especially from work place violence-no one wins. Take walks. Take a break.
Happy National Pizza Party day. Who doesn’t love pizza? Okay not a real way to open up the blog by hey it’s Friday and I am in uber good mood today. For all of those who will have a slice have fun! I have eaten enough of my points in other delectable things for the week that I need to chill until date night tomorrow night. So how was your week? Mine was pretty good so let’s dive in.
So this has been a good week. Let me shout out my kids this week. They are ending the school year on some awesome high notes. My daughter-the oldest has a birthday coming up. My son is going to kindergarten next year and has a moving up graduation soon. My youngest is doing well and has adopted a new imaginary friend aka her bunny. This has been an awesome week for the Storr kids. That makes me and my husband super awesome. Another good thing this week has been that I have gotten the most sleep in a long time. Now with that we will talk about my lows but that’s at least a plus this week. I am still losing the weight and I am super excited. I have another goal and that is a cute little Boho bathing suit I have been eyeing for the Summer. Oh and Summer is coming so insert the biggest happy face ever. I love heat! I have some awesome plans this weekend along with some scheduled me time so I can’t wait to get me together like I always do-no excuses. Have a wonderful weekend and do one thing that will renew your mind. Sometimes that means cleaning a few things out in preparation for what is to come.
Here is a short list of renewal things (I get asked this in emails often)
- Clean up your space-this is very renewing. Clutter will get the best of you.
- Go to a park-being outside is very comforting.
- Magazine time-you need to be able to take some time out to enjoy a few favorites.
- Visit a coffee shop
- Church or mediation
- Go to a farmers market
- Sleep-rest is a beautiful thing. I am super busy but taking an extra hour does amazing things
- Shopping for some is super renewing
- Organize-doing things to help your week saves time and energy. I meal prep, breakfast prep like making sandwiches I can freeze and grab, making smoothie bags for the week all ensure that the excuse of “don’t have time” is gone. How else would I get through the week with 3 small kids at 3 different schools?
- Kingston Frazier, 6 years old was killed when his mother went into a grocery store and left him in a car unattended with the keys. A group of men later identified as teenagers took the car with the boy in it and hours later he was found dead with a shot-gun wound. My heart has been hurting and my head too over the senseless deaths of our children this week. Please keep this family in prayer.
- Following up from the previous death is the death of Gabriel Taye who died of an apparent suicide after he had been bullied and knocked out the day before after hitting his head on a wall by another boy in his class. His mother was not informed of what happened and 2 days later he was found in his bedroom from a suicide.
- Here in Philly a 10-year-old boy had been bullied and came home and told his mom he had the worst day of his life. She gave him space and then when she went to check on him he had died of an apparent suicide. I know there are a lot of other news stories but these are important this week. We have kids’ life being taken for no reason. Please parent be vigilant with your kids. Please make sure that you talk with your children. We need to listen and support our children. Do NOT leave them in the car. Although the actions of the mother who left Kingston in the car were bad, the real enemy was the boys that took his life. May all of these beautiful boys always be remembered and let’s have less of them. I will do a separate blog about all of them soon.
- Trump and the Russian ties is heating up. So be on the look out if you already aren’t now.
- The dirty mirror-this had a lot to do with my personal journey that I am taking in my life to love me more and how that is affecting and could potentially affect the state of my marriage. These changes have so far made us strong but for others who find themselves in this change it can make them second guess everything.
- I got you ma-this is the season that men start the cat calling more. Summer lovin is finally on its way. For the single and ready to mingle this could be good. Just don’t lose your mind and think that all men are on the up an up because they are not. Some will promise the world just to bed you. Never lose focus. If you only want sex, protect yourself, but if you want more, be vigilant and ask questions. Men will tell you what you ASK. So ask the right ones.
- TBT: we threw it back to when putting it all on the table too soon may be considered an issue. Don’t be the only one throwing it out there. Ask. If you’re dating its your season to enjoy someone’s company as well as it is to collect information.
So I went to the doctors a few weeks ago and got a clean bill of health. So she asked me to get blood work done. I didn’t do it. So now the migraines that had subsided since I started eating better and losing weight have come back. So today I didn’t hesitate to get the blood work done this morning. So that is the push for all of my ToiTime to take care of themselves. So it’s your job to be vigilant about what you need. You can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of you first. I have to wait until Monday to get the results and I am pretty sure I know what they will say. I will keep you posted. I do not think I am in immediate danger. I do believe vitamins etc. will have to be readjusted. Other than that whatever has been going on makes me super exhausted. I am anemic but that was improving. So say a little prayer that all will be well and continue that way.
So another week down and another weekend on the horizon. It’s been a very good week thus far. I am hoping that you have had a chance to catch up on any of the blogs missed. If you are a mother I pray that you have a blessed day and weekend.
- James Comey, former FBI director has been fired. This comes as the continued probe into the Russian voting scandal that is still continuing to unfold. Be on the look out for more of this story and how it will affect the Trump administration.
- 1300 people have been arrested in the largest anti-gang operation according to ICE officials.
- Venezuela’s President fires health minister after it was revealed that 66% rise in pregnancy related deaths.
- Just breaking-gunman shoots new police chief dead before killing 2 nursing home staff in Kirkersville.
This was a great week. I celebrated my 36th birthday. In doing so I took the best trip with 3 other girlfriends including my girl Toi whose birthday was a week from mine. We had a great time in Chicago. Toibration as I called the 10 day celebration is a way to celebrate me. Everyone should celebrate themselves. If you can’t who will? I had the best time, ate great food, talked smack and hung out husband and kid free-see my blog on my trip! I want to thank my friends and family who celebrated with me in some way. Every call, text, social media shout out, gift, and card was appreciated!
- My annual birthday message-36 is young but there is always something I have learned and share during my birthday. I am still on self love-that message will never change.
- Single mom survival kit-there are a lot of things that single moms struggle with but there are a few things that we need to make sure we keep in the forefront with single moms and all moms in general.
- The wind has been taken out of our sail-this is a special tribute to my mother in law who recently passed. This will be my husband’s first mothers day without her.
- Do everything mom-this is a #tbt that we talk about learning to lay the cape down and take the pressure off.
- Mother day do nots-there are a few things that we all need to keep in mind so don’t get caught on the list making errors for your mom’s special day.
- Mother’s Day gift giving guide-make sure you make mom feel special!
This has been a good week. I did eat a lot in Chicago that could have been a low but I worked out at the gym and did a LOT of walking.
Well until next week when all of the celebrations will come to an end. Please mom or not, do something good for yourself. To all of my followers who are moms enjoy your day. If you are experiencing Mothers Day without your mom or mother figure in your life my heart and prayers are extended to you all. If you have lost a child and the holiday affects you, I do understand and my prayers to you as well.
Well I am hoping that your week has been a good one. Mine has been and is expected to get much better. This is my birthday weekend trip with the girls. I am super excited. My last time traveling them was in 2013 maybe to Miami and before then in 2008 Miami again. I love Miami if you can’t tell. However this time we switching things up and being grown in the city of Chicago. It’s important for me as a woman to keep my connections as tight as possible. On this journey to keep myself rounded means I can not only tap into my domesticated titles aka mommy and wife. I am first Toi and Toi needs to be happy and whole to be the best in those titles. I have some new blogs coming out about how we ladies have to be strong and confident even when things and others attempt to pull on our insecurity. Insecurity creeps in all of us, men too. The best thing is when you can look into the mirror and smile at the creation that God made you and be happy in your skin. I know it seems I am on all this self-improvement but if you don’t have self-love what do you have? I had to have an ugly cry this week. It was super cleansing but like momma always say cry on your own time don’t let these folks see you sweat.
- Trump care or F the Obama care as I have seen it described is on its way to be reversed. Trump’s full agenda isn’t fully clear but the basis is if you are poor or old, you better not get sick or be screwed. Nothing about healthcare under Trump will appease women either. I am super glad I am not pregnant right now. My anxiety would be that much more in a spiral. My suggestion is to start with your local government. Be vigilant to get the facts and stay away from the foolishness which will be super hard given leadership is almost dipped in it.
- Basketball for women is now allowing for hijab. This is a great thing. I think that in this melting pot of a world we need to allow those who to express their religious and culturally difference. So this is a step in the right direction.
- Flying which I am doing right now are having issues lately. It started with United Airlines and now Delta is getting into the action. A family was kicked off a flight with kids after a mix up about seating. I think the airlines are about to have a major overhaul with how they treat customers. It’s about time. Wouldn’t you want to keep everyone safe and happy to keep the coins coming in? No?!
- Trayvon Martin will receive a posthumous degree in aeronautical science from Florida Memorial University. It would be even better if Martin was here to pursue and earn his own degree but his life was cut short after he was shot and killed in 2012 by George Zimmerman. We still hurt over the degree by which black men are devalued.
- Last but certainly not least, 15-year-old Jordan Edwards was shot and killed by police as he was leaving a party. It is speculated that he and the occupants of the vehicle including his brother was shot at while leaving the scene. No it is not being said that they were causing a disturbance, they were just black and an over zealous cop shot and killed him. Now I can’t imagine knowing my brother is in the car bleeding to death as I am hand cuffed and being questioned. My hurt goes out to Edwards family and all families in these situations. I am not anti cops I have cops in my own family, but I am anti racist cops who are out here innocent people.
I am 2 more pounds down and 5 to goal. Yay! I can’t tell you how excited I am for this goal. I have worked hard, ate right, worked out tired and exhausted but I am super close. Also this week my daughter is killing it in school. I am super happy when my kids do what they need to do. We teach them nothing in life is free. It takes hard work. She also will be having her first communion. I am proud of her choice to step up and apply what she wants in her life. Can’t be mad at a child that actively tries to apply herself?! Way to go Naila!! Oh did I mention that we both have birthdays coming up. May is a good month for the Storr women!!!!
- Protect your babies-the amount of cruel and deadly force being used on kids is heart breaking. A lot of it comes from non parental aka boyfriends and side pieces that we as women leave them with cause we just “love him.” You better make sure he love them babies just as much as you do and don’t leave them with these men so freely giving them access to harm your babies.
This has been a crazy week. I have done some over time and the exhaustion has been unbelievable. However I have slept a little better than last week. This week has been about controlling my negative thoughts. I am one of those thinkers so when something has been said I have to admit my get back is quite strong. I will begin to think of ways to get cha. However because I am more mindful of it I have tried to combat it with positive thoughts and know that people will usually get theirs.
Also I will blog about an argument I had this week. It wasn’t a full argument but as I never want to put my business out there are a few things that women need to get from it and that and that alone I will talk about. Everything is about learning and growing.
Well again I will most likely blog a little less this weekend as my girls and I will have the time of our lives. But next week I will be releasing some new and old mom blogs in honor of Mother’s Day. If you still want to participate in the Mother’s Day blog for next week please email me at toitimeblog@gmail,com
Well I hope all is well. We are ending April on a pretty good note I think. I hope whatever you didn’t get to accomplish that you take some speed into May. It’s a new month around the corner. In addition to that it’s time to see where we did well and where we could have done better this week.
- It’s been a full 100 days in office for President Trump. No matter if you like him or hate him there has been more going on with his first 100 days than most full presidencies. For one we have had so much threats and rumors of wars. This is not something that we can act like won’t affect the world because we all know it will. So I don’t know what the next few years will look like, but you can best believe we will remain prayerful, vigilant, and woke.
- This week has been filled with sports hysteria. We are in the middle of the 2017 NFL draft weekend. I live in Philadelphia and let me say the buzz is not an overkill. People are out enjoying the full weekend events and it has been going well. If you haven’t already catch up on the picks and events.
- There has been more children being abducted in this week than before. Now that’s not saying I am supporting that statement with full facts. But there has been an increase of children all over my social media, in the news, and its getting crazier day by day. No matter how great of a parent anything can happen but please be more vigilant with your little ones now more than ever. Do not leave them unattended not even in the backyard. Keep them close to you when you are in stores and do not let them walk behind you on the streets. Grab your little ones hands. This may require that you take phone calls and text messages later but it’s better than putting up flyers. Pay attention to them. Some people are so evil that they watch how interactive you are with your children only to scoop in when they think you don’t care.
- R.I.P Robert Godwin Jr. If you do not know who he is he was the man who was walking home from an Easter dinner with his family and was shot at point-blank range by Steve Stephens who chose him randomly and killed him on Facebook live. It ensued a national manhunt that ended when he took his own life as police pursuit. I know this has story is slowly becoming yesterday’s news but out of respect please stop sharing these videos and videos like it. These are real life people who families would appreciate that you find a piece of morality and care.
This week I am down another 3.5 pounds. Won’t He do it?! Yes! I am super excited. I also did one of my own suggestions in a previous blog about keeping your mental sanity by buying flowers and placing them right on my night stand by my bed. When I have gotten up this morning I smell them. Let me tell you how much a store-bought 7.99 bouquet has done for me. Amazing things for my entire mood. Every morning after I have smelled them things have gone immediately crazy. I have little kids from bathroom accidents, to refusal to get up, to finding missing items it hasn’t affected me one bit. The flowers aren’t magical in the least bit. They just provide a place for me to go to my happy place as I start my day. Try it!
As always if you have missed a blog you are missing out so get caught up.
- How to deal with a jerk. It’s a quick reminder that adjusting your attitude can go a long way.
- Ask Toi: pet names and how speaking up can work wonders even in new relationships.
- Keep your knee pads-this was the #tbt of the week and we were talking about equality and the things that some men expect but wouldn’t do for themselves
- Dragging Lala: the internet was having a field day with the actress because in spite of Carmelo being wrong for infidelity she was supposed to forgive and forget. That is craziness. No woman should be cheated on and take it and especially when rumors of babies being added in.
- Single and married is the response to Carmelo’s rumored line that Lala was married he wasn’t. If you’re married you know right well you can’t openly cheat and that be okay unless you have an established open marriage that both parties agree on.
- Stress management-emotional stress can be a killer. All stress tugs on the matters of the heart. Deal with that to deal with the stress.
- Leave the kids out of it goes out to the rude comments made about if Serena Williams who we now know is pregnant while still competing. No her baby is not going to be made of chocolate milk but if it was it was be the best chocolate milk. Never talk about kids regardless of how you feel about their parents.
- Weigh in: 04/26/2017 this is where I share my newest update on my weight loss journey. PS. I also drank a unicorn frap, donuts and some wine. Learning to be normal and balance working out, eating right and indulges is a great tool.
I have dedicated to getting 2 days a week of sleep and I haven’t done well with that. I have run on empty a few times by doing the most when I get home since I am still doing mandatory overtime and not enough of slowing myself down. This upcoming week I will be able to slow down and take a much-needed vacation with my girls. However I will not run myself to the bone before I get there. I have done a lot ahead of time and look forward to a much semi slower week,
As always I love you all. Get out this weekend and pour a little back into your cup. Do not do more for others and leave yourself depleted!! Have a great weekend and I will blog soon!!
Happy Friday ToiTime readers!! Can you hear the joy in my voice? That is what happens when you have been working 12 hour days all week and you finally get over 9 hours of sleep. I am refreshed and will need it for the Easter weekend. Anyway. There has been a lot going on this week so let’s recap.
- United Airlines out here handing out ass whippings for not giving up seats. The company is in a full-blown mess these days. I expect a large payout and for the company’s bottom line to suffer behind the mess. Little tid bit, do not ever release statements that victim blame.
- Second week of bombs from the United States. Trump’s administration has dropped the largest non nuclear bomb on Afghanistan. The only issues with all of this bombing is that I fear retaliation against the United States. For the sake of the world I pray I am wrong.
- Woman stabbed to death by Palestinian man on a train in Jerusalem.
- 2 Georgia police officers were fired after a video surfaced of them punching a handcuffed man.
I had a great weekend this past weekend. I was able to get some me time which was not planned for a full day but definitely turned into a beautiful full day. I enjoyed the quiet, some adult music and just some down time. I have been working 12 hour days almost everyday for the past 2 weeks so it felt good to recharge. I also enjoyed some family time with own family. We enjoyed some time at Comic Con in Philadelphia where I took some amazing pictures and met some amazing people. This week has been a little crazy with the mandatory overtime. However I was able to get some rest last night and I swear it felt like I slept for an entire week in one night. I expect to have a good weekend this weekend with my kidlets. They love holidays like me so we will have a blast celebrating. I wish you all who celebrate Easter to remember what it’s all about and have a great one!
- Stress awareness-phyiscal stress. We talk about what makes us stress out and what that looks like in our physical body. How we can grab the stress and turn it around in our lives.
- Let’s get physical-not everyone enjoys going to the gym even if its good for us. It’s like veggies but not liking all of the veggies that there are. You can find physical enjoyment in getting up and finding activities that you enjoy.
- Humble my ass, we talk about Lamar Kendrick’s newest hit Humble. It’s a great record except for all of the men who think this is the song of all songs but don’t truly apply to the words they spit. It takes more than a dope song to apply it. We also talk about Tyrese and his ability in his own mind to tell women what they should or shouldn’t be doing while flaunting his 46% Black wife. Love is love it doesn’t matter what color or race she is but he felt the need to tell the world and down women while uplifting us too as if that can be done at the same time.
- TI-Marriage is a distraction: This sounds horrible and it is. It is horrible if he didn’t have this conversation with Tameka “Tiny” his wife prior to the interview and even worst if he didn’t have this conversation with her before he began acting single. Truth in marriage is hard and it’s not always beautiful. However honesty should never take a back seat to feelings because in the end no one wins.
This week I would say pushing myself more and not listening to my body. I have had a series of headaches and stomach ache this week due to my change of schedule. And this is the very thing that stress even if it’s not bad stress can do. I should have slowed it down a bit. Although the overtime was mandatory this week, little things like going to bed when I got home instead of watching an hour of television and being on my phone could have helped. Instead of rushing slowed it down and ate at the times I needed and took my medication at the time I needed to would have helped greatly. These are all things we need to do to make our life even with change run a little more smoothly.
I do hope that you all have a good weekend and can say that even if you have a lot of events that you have to be at or have a lot of things to do that you slow it down and get something out of this weekend for yourself. You have to fill your own cup before you can do anything else for others.