Monday Inspiration: The Protection of No

Happy Monday to you.  Today I want to talk about the pain that comes along with NO.  Like children when we hear no we may experience a plethora of feelings.  From being disappointed, to hurt, to anger.  What you wanted and where you are in that journey makes your NO levels different.

If you were in what you thought was a loving relationship and you felt the next step was marriage only to find out that the person you held so dear to you is a fake, that NO that he failed you and the pain of starting all over again can be devastating. What about the pain in the NO when you are job searching?  Job searching is a numbers game at times.  You may hear several NOs in your lifetime where that is concerned.  Trust me.  When I got laid off of my job in 2010 right after having my premature daughter I was devastated.  I was thinking what in the world am I going to do?  I moved to Philadelphia and found out I was pregnant again.  Out of my element and new to a city I decided to take some time off and do the stay at home mom thing.  It was harder than I anticipated.  The time I decided to go back to work, I heard so many NOs my heart actually hurt.  I felt like I would be at home forever.  No after NO after NO began to chip at my spirit.  I am human I thought I have a college degree and experience why is this happening.  But it did.

During those difficult times of hearing NO and the mix emotions I felt, I got stronger.  I felt like I was taken a thousand steps back but I got stronger. I got a job and then began to progress to where I am now but the story wasn’t an easy one.  I have had moments where I second guessed myself. I cried.  I cursed from being so angry. I was miserable. I had to get it together.  So if you woke up and all you can do is hold onto the pain of NO, I get that.  Hear me clearly, when you let it go and walk with the sting of the pain and move forward you may not get that YES the same day, but you will if you don’t quit. At the very moment of quitting you will get a YES.  Put the work in.  Take moments along the journey of NO to renew your mind.  You may have to do this daily.  Whatever it takes, don’t faint and don’t quit.  There is protection in NO.  NO means something else is out there for you.  No means that the journey you paved for yourself wasn’t the journey YOU needed to be your best self.  Shocking how we think we know everything we need until life throws something our way to prove that we don’t.  Strive for excellence.  You can walk through the pain without the pain knocking your will to live out of you.  The protection is making sure you don’t walk further in pain.  There are people in places God never intended because instead of listening to the NO and letting it protect them, they let their personal desires walk them willingly into some mess and now they are miserable.  They shouldn’t be in that place and they know it.  Sometimes that stubborn will have you walking in circles.  When things don’t work out there is a reason.  If you are running late to a place, there is reason.  It’s protection.  Yes its frustrating but you don’t know what you are about to walk in.  Trust the process.  Have faith and walk in the sting of the pain don’t let the pain of NO overtake you.

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Sunday Message: I’ll make it!

If you’re feeling defeated know that this feeling is normal. It happens to the best of us. Don’t beat yourself up further because of this fleeting feeling.

What you can do is turn this feeling around. Defeat can only overtake your mindset when you keep feeding defeat with reasons why you should give up. You will not struggle with reasons why to give up. Those ideas flow easily. It’s finding reasons to push through that may be the hardest. One thing to remember it only takes one reason not to give up to stay in the fight. Only one!

When I felt that I was at my lowest moment and trust me I’ve had many it always starts off with a situation that seemed to spiral out of control. Most of the times I allowed it to get to that point. It could be with a bad choice or decision. Whatever pushed it towards that spiral I played a huge hand in its outcome. So then depression sets in with the old I will never get out of this talk. Which if you live a little the hardest things never truly overtake you. Then you find yourself overthinking until you fall asleep.

I wasn’t resting because I needed strength to do better, often times it was to escape what I had going on. If this is your first hard time just know when you wake up trouble is still sitting there looking at you with a strong side eye wondering what you are gonna do!!

The best way through a defeated mindset is to acknowledge that you’re there. Don’t hide at all. Don’t sugar coat your moment. Speak up and expose it. The times I would say man I’m in over my head it was almost like a light bulb would come on. I knew at that moment that I had to get it together. Hiding only masks it and allows for more negativity to build with it.

Here are a few things that helps me:

  1. Talk to the right people-not just your friend but a friend who is consistent. If you’re friend is going to use the information just to remind you of how much better they are then you, that’s the wrong friend.
  2. Find out what your options are even the ones you don’t want to hear.
  3. Find a solution! Sometimes we say we want answers but hide not to deal with it. Hit it head on so the fear of the situation loses its sting.
  4. Get clear-pray or meditate to get yourself some guidance and clarity
  5. Tell only key players. The ones who will truly lend a hand are the ones who are on a need to know
  6. Know that this is a temporary test. As hard as it looks you will not die in the moment even if you lost a lot in this fight! What’s lost needed to be lost for your overall purpose.
  7. Cry-it’s not a sign of weakness but release the pain that the situation has caused and work towards holding fast onto the lessons that were necessary!

Defeat is temporary and necessary. You will not win every battle but if in life you lose to gain what is rightfully yours then this setback is definitely vital to your journey. Chin up, you will make it through.

I used to sing a song in the choir and the worlds were: sink or swim, live or die I’ll make it! You will make it even if all hell breaks lose! You got this!! Enjoy the song if you listen, the nuggets will carry you through anything!! Enjoy your Sunday and refuel!!

I’ll make it!!