Wonky Feelings

Unfortunately these last few days have been a bit up and down.  For one on a personal level there is so much on my heart and mind.  I am sorting a few things out.  I noticed that as I work my life out that my shift towards gratitude has shifted.  I’ll get back to that later.  Also Fall is around the corner and although I am super happy about it, its only a reminder that there is so much to do before the year ends.

Also on Friday it was the most craziest day ever. I got out the car not put together. My bag was open. I had 20 minutes to get to work for a 2 min walk and still…..

I get to Dunkin Donuts to get a breakfast sandwich and I can’t find my wallet. I finally pay for my item and I bumped into a lady like 3 times. I’m walking into the door trying to gather my thoughts….what is going on?

As if matters couldn’t get worse, I take a walk at lunch only to discover that one side of my skirt is falling revealing a lot more than I needed to share with the world! I had to take a step back and again gather my thoughts….

Check in On your Strong Friend

I have an amazing network of friends from all walks of life.  Talking to one of them this week about how the weather didn’t help my bottom line and realizing that she too felt the same way.  Let me interject gratitude, I do not have it as bad as those in the path of Hurricane Florence, I am grateful.  In the midst of gratefulness I want to be transparent.  I miss the mark daily but I am also actively checking myself daily. Sometimes I get inspired by my ability to balance and then on days where that balance seems not to measure up, my feelings sometimes takes a nose dive.  This has been that week.  I have been pushed and finding that I am coming off as irresponsible when in actuality I am in the midst of change from the inside out.  Guilt of these changes has made me question myself.  My girlfriend reminded me that one she is here and we are here together.  I love knowing I have support and need to be more open in receiving the love in return.  So word of advice, fill your cup and be open to check on a friend to see how their cup looks too!  I am going to do better at that.

Feeling Overload

Daily I take a look at what is going on around me.  I looked at my kids and noticed they needed me to listen a little more.  I feel as if I am pretty good at anticipating other people’s needs.  However with my own, I need a little work.  Example, Thursday night I was getting agitated by a conversation with my husband.  I felt like I wasn’t being heard.  I decided to be quiet and ask myself a few questions. I asked what did I need at that moment.  I decided that my issues of frustration is because of old feelings of what my husband had done that I wasn’t over.  I simply wasn’t mad at him but mad at me for not dropping something from years ago.  I went upstairs and decided how worth it was it at that moment and dropped it.  I washed my face while praying and asked God to heal.  I decided that carrying frustration was simply only on me and that it only hinders me.  It wasn’t as if the issue was something that was life changing. I simply was mad and that madness needed checked.  I can’t grow personally and not drop the charges but expect charges of frustration or anger to be dropped on my behalf.  I have to give what I want to receive.

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Gratitude

Being thankful has been this week’s recurring theme.  All week I have challenged myself to see the good in bad situations.  All week openly saying what I am grateful for around my family.  Letting my kids openly know how awesome they are.  Recognizing their effort!  I have been in conversation replacing complaints with gratitude.  Counting my blessings this week.  Every situation that could have made me turn left, I declared gratitude and seen it turn.  Every single one.  Even with my wacky feelings this week, I have felt like I figured out what I needed and gave myself permission to seek it and receive it.

This weekend I will take a long bath, get some flowers, burn my favorite candle, get some rest, and have fun with my kids.  These are the things that I will do to set my weekend right and continue my self-care practice.  What do you need?  What are the little things that can set your spirit back into alignment?  What are the things that make you feel the most centered?  What will quiet and heal your thoughts?  Do these things and more and do it so often that it becomes a part of who you are!

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Maybe your week was great.  If so that’s super awesome.  If your week was like mine with super highs and lows, know that you can get through it.  You can replace gratitude in the places of frustration.  You can call on a friend or family and be encouraged.  It’s okay to be upset but don’t stay there.  It’s important to find out what you need and most importantly remember that the answer or relief may come from you.  You have to be honest about what you need.  Be honest about what the real issues.  Don’t place the saving grace into someone else’s hands.  Sometimes just dealing and checking yourself is all you need to make yourself whole.

Enjoy your weekend and thanks for reading!

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Power in the Clouds…..

So I am feeling a lot better. I was under the weather taking care of my sick husband and I ended up getting what he had.  I do not think it was the flu as I was able to recover a lot sooner than he did.  I am grateful for being able to have a little down time but now as I get better its time to work.

There has been a lot going on in the world. So let’s dive in. I  was able to catch the 60th Grammy Show this past Sunday. There were a lot of great performances and of course the Me Too movement continues on as it should.  I haven’t made a public statement on it but it’s about time that these men who are using their power against women be stopped.  So many women endure so many things ranging from sexual harassment to rape to get ahead or simply exist. I wish above all that young ladies and women weren’t subject to this type of behavior.  It sickens me to think of my own daughters having to endure such abuse in any form.  However the down side to it too is that there will be a few women use this movement for the wrong reason. My prayer is that all women would be safe no matter where they are.  Shout out to all the ladies in the world taking a stand in public and in private! May the fight continue!

Image result for janelle monae me too

So I wasn’t able to do a Sunday message or a Monday motivation message due to me not feeling well.  Let me say that discouragement is always around us no matter what.  It’s hard to do but we must all constantly check the messages we surround ourselves around.  What we listen to and entertain is super important.  No matter what type of journey in life you are on, discouragement is always in our faces.  Look at how the world is shaped, you log onto your computer and negativity is always present.  I try my best to be sure that I change what I take in and especially what my kids take in. I shield my spirit first.  This way I can assist them in what they need.  Be careful to clean up your social media actions.  Stop debating with everyone. Everything ain’t a fight. Sometimes letting someone have that last word is necessary for your own growth. Do you know how many people get off on saying they told you off? A LOT. Let them eat cake! You got enough time on your hands to build you.  You don’t always have time to build others.  I am not saying don’t be inspirational, I am saying your cup has to be full.  Drink from your cup.

I find that the mind is the playground of excuses too.  Sometimes you are having a bad day not because of the outside elements but because your mind is telling you something is going to be a certain way.  Doubt and fear are festering in an unchecked mindset.  You and you alone have the power to check that.  So check it! This may be a Tuesday but to someone they struggled hard during their Monday not because it was a Monday but because they are overwhelmed emotionally and spiritually and feel lost. Feeling lost is real.  It’s a feeling of despair.  It robs you of joy and happiness and it makes you scared.  Fear is debilitating. I have felt that pain many times.  That pain that makes you want to stay in bed and cry.  Getting up is easy but hard at the same time but you have to get up.  This isn’t just in the physical sense but the mental and emotional sense of the word too.  Whatever you lack can be fixed.  It can be achieved.  It is there inside of you.  Just do what you feel you must and try. If you woke up your answers are going to come to you as you make moves.  You were given a unique opportunity to make today better than yesterday.

I have had times when trying was all I had and then something happened, I got stronger. I had one situation line up and then slowly sometimes like a crock pot slow, things lined up.  It wasn’t a fast fix.  It wasn’t a microwave, convenient fix, it was a slow fix. The light didn’t shine when I woke up, sometimes only a few clouds move. If you are there you know what I am talking about.  The same power that comes in the sun is the same power in the clouds. never forget that!  Be encouraged today and everyday!