Happy national donut day!! I had one and I mean only one donut and couldn’t really eat much of anything else. I forced myself to have a healthy lunch because that donut was definitely a lot of empty carbs. Well I hope you all had a good week. We are coming off a 4 day weekend some of us anyway from Memorial Day. I hope you had a great holiday weekend. We celebrated my daughter’s birthday and had a really good weekend. No complaints. So as far as this short week it has definitely been filled with a lot of ups and downs. So let’s get into it.
Personal Highs/Personal Lows
This week I am going to put these two categories together. There is a lot going on and I told you lovelies I would update you. One we had a great time celebrating my now 8-year-old. Time is flying when you’re having fun right? We are also gearing up for my son’s preschool graduation. I know some people make a big deal that these types of graduations are pointless but it just gives the little people something to look forward to. I personally feel like celebrations are what makes life great. Those who know me know I will make his day special. That’s what I do. I feel like life is about making memories that they can look back on. It’s better than buying a bunch of material things.
Also this week I have been vigilant with my doctors to get me an answer. I have been suffering with migraines for quite some time. I am also anemic. However with the new diet my doctor made sure I had all of the supplements that one would need and I increased all of the iron enriched foods so you would think I was good right? Wrong. I am not. My doctors and I have decided that it was time to get a hysterectomy. I know for some they get it done when they have fibroids. I do not have them. I am losing too much blood. My blood volumes and levels are one step to more transfusions. For some they would say, why not start a pill that would decrease your period. However the thing is that I have already done that. I have been on pills off and on. I got my tubes tied when I had my 3rd and last child. I know some would say why put this out there? One its MY BODY and my page. Secondly being a woman going through women issues is not a place of shame and I refuse to hide like I did something wrong. That is pure craziness. Why would I keep it hush-hush when there are millions of women like me going through the same thing.
I am no wonder. I won’t be the first or the last. Ladies my decision was about what was best for me. I have to do what I need to do for ME. Was my husband there? Absolutely. I know my decision will have an affect temporarily on my home but I had to do what was best for me. No need to lose this weight, do all of this work and still be underlying unhealthy. That is sheer madness. I know what I need to do and I know what can happen if I don’t. I love me and I need to be here as well as I have little people who need to have a healthy mom. So with that in mind in the next week that is what I will be doing. Have I researched all of the options? Absolutely. This has been an ongoing back and forth thing. I am prepared for the steps after. I do NOT claim to know it all. However I am fully aware that the steps towards self-love will help me through the down side of this procedure. So with MY family’s support we will be fine. I have learned to tune out some of the naysayers. They will say don’t let them take nothing out. Meanwhile I can’t count on them to watch my kids when I am somewhere bleeding out. I can’t slide them a bill when I am off of work and missing time off. I can’t count on them to pick up a phone call to say how is it going. You see that was a free nugget right? I refuse to give folks who show you they are more concerned with their bottom line than mine make my health decisions. Got to keep pushing towards what will work for me and the ones that have to live through all of this.
So with that in mind you may see an increase in blogs. I will have more down time. Whenever I have downtime, I write and I read so be on the look out. I plan to blog the hell out of this situation. Not to get sympathy. I am one strong cookie. But to raise awareness. My heart goes out to the women who are medically forced to make this decision and desire to have children and can’t. I have 3 kids and already put in place the parimeters not to have more already. There is no child birth loss for me. So for the ladies with this loss, it is a loss. I researched this and I find comfort in reading other blogs of women who have gone through this. And with life we are all connected. Keep me in prayer and stay logged on twitter (toitiemblog) and facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/toitimeladies/) as I will update.
- Kathy Griffin out here with a replica of Donald Trump being beheaded and it has set off this major storm on insensitivity. I think for me and this is where MY opinion comes off. It was a bit much. However if the same ones were upset when the nooses was being shown with imagery of Obama was shown and not because he is Black alone but on the principle of right and wrong than okay. If not than you just being extra. What people don’t get is that your argument is more valid when it’s based on principle. Meaning you would extend the same sympathy to another like you want it done for your favorite than you have merit.
- Ireland will have its first openly gay prime minister after Leo Varadkar was elected into the office.
- Withdraw of Paris climate agreement.
- Continuation of the Russian influence of the election. Continue to stand by for breaking news of this ongoing legal battle.
So I pray you all enjoy your weekend. There are some good movies. I saw Wonder Woman and as I thought without giving things away, I walked away feeling great about being a woman. I may see it again if you’re looking for a quick should you go or not-there you go. I am taking the kids to see Captain Underpants tonight. Summer movies are really heating up. I plan on some me time and I have to work. So find an activity that you enjoy and make yourself feel like the beautiful gem that you are.
Happy Friday to you all! Who is ready for the weekend? I surely am. Let me just make a world-wide declaration to my beautiful daughter, Naila-happy 8th birthday. My daughter and I am rightfully biased is one of the sweetest, amazing little girls to date. She loves everyone and is such a jewel to be around. We plan to celebrate her all weekend long. I pray continued love, strength and peace to her life always.
It’s also Memorial Day weekend. So this means that there are going to be a few activities that will be taking place in a city near you. If you live in or around Philadelphia there are a lot of FREE events taking place. We ALL can afford free right? The point is to get out and enjoy yourself. Don’t go back to work on Tuesday with the boring didn’t do anything unless that is what you wanted to actually do-NOTHING. Rest, relax, organize, plan for the rest of the Summer time. Memorial Day is the unofficial start to Summer so get out and get busy.
This has been a really interesting week for me. I am still coming down on my weight. I am about to shift from just losing weight to maintaining for the month of June. I am looking to get to my goal so I can purchase this Boho style swimsuit. I haven’t bought a swimsuit in 5 years. Also I was in a lot of control when it came to dealing with the things that life through just this week. I almost had a little mental break down but some encouragement came and helped me along the way. I had such an amazing time with my husband this past weekend and some much-needed me time as well.
- Prayers to those in Manchester. A bomber decided to bomb the Ariana Grande concert that was being attended by mostly teenager and young children. My heart goes out to those who lost their lives as well as those injured from the deadly blast. I can’t understand why there is so much evil in this world but there is.
- Trump’s administration is supposedly under the microscope. Even with getting into all of the politics of it all I do believe that Trump believes that he has the power to do as he pleases. I do not believe he under the concepts of checks or balances. So we shall keep watching to see what comes of all of this.
- Greg Gianfonte is out here body slamming reporters-allegedly. It’s sad when offices used to be respected therefore they carried themselves to a higher standard. Pretty soon they going to be pulling even more stunts but what do I know.
- Chris Cornell died of an apparent suicide. His wife is saying medication he was on is what led to his death and he would have not killed himself otherwise. I pray peace during this difficult time.
- I spoke last week about awaiting for test results well I got them back. It doesn’t look good. I have to be seen this week for some blood related issues and so when I have a treatment plan in place than I will blog openly about what is going on. I have no problems sharing anything in my life and especially about health due to the fact there is always going to be someonelse who will go through it too. I will inform you all of any changes especially any changes that distributes the blog. If you aren’t already following me on Facebook please do as many of the changes will be announced there, https://www.facebook.com/toitimeladies/
- Ask Toi-about family or friends who come over uninvited and especially as parents who have small kids and have a sitter. It’s always good to call first. You don’t know what is going on with people and it shows a respect for other people’s time. If you come over unannounced than don’t expect to have access to someone’s home no matter how close you are if who you are visiting has a sitter. If that sitter isn’t aware of you stopping by its going to be a closed-door that greets you.
- Ask Toi-taking a sex break while married. You have a right and a choice to engage or disengage but I would suggest that you work out the issue that is causing you to want to take a sex break than to go to you mate and not have a clear definition of what that means. Do NOT expect your mate to be okay with it but you have the right to your body and to be vocal in what your intentions are.
- Annoying co-workers anyone? Yes we ALL have them. Simple things to keep in mind as you go through the work day.
- Mirage screens-we put too much stock in what others are doing, what they are portraying, what they show us, etc. Worry more on your own life and less on celebrities or couples or individuals you admire.
As we end this week and dive into the long weekend a few reminders:
- Sunscreen should be worn all year round not just in the Summer months. However since pools and beaches will be swarmed this weekend and beyond, don’t forget it. I use a SPF in my makeup as well.
- Keep your kids close. Do NOT get comfortable and get caught up in celebrating that you forget about them. There are sick people everywhere and the last thing you need is a child to be unaccounted for.
- Drink but be safe. I like a beverage or two but if you think DUI check points aren’t real you are sadly mistaken. Be careful. If you are tipsy call a Uber, etc.
- Violence unfortunately especially in some cities that are already plagued with violence more will break out. Watch the company you keep and be vigilant in having peaceful get togethers. If you are having a fault with someone and can’t be mature than don’t even attempt to resolve it at that time. I pray that all innocent bystanders will be protected as well. You can be at the right place at the wrong time, do nothing and still end up hurt or dead. Prayers to all my ToiTime readers and followers.
Continue reading “Weekly Recap: May 26, 2017”
So another week down and another weekend on the horizon. It’s been a very good week thus far. I am hoping that you have had a chance to catch up on any of the blogs missed. If you are a mother I pray that you have a blessed day and weekend.
- James Comey, former FBI director has been fired. This comes as the continued probe into the Russian voting scandal that is still continuing to unfold. Be on the look out for more of this story and how it will affect the Trump administration.
- 1300 people have been arrested in the largest anti-gang operation according to ICE officials.
- Venezuela’s President fires health minister after it was revealed that 66% rise in pregnancy related deaths.
- Just breaking-gunman shoots new police chief dead before killing 2 nursing home staff in Kirkersville.
This was a great week. I celebrated my 36th birthday. In doing so I took the best trip with 3 other girlfriends including my girl Toi whose birthday was a week from mine. We had a great time in Chicago. Toibration as I called the 10 day celebration is a way to celebrate me. Everyone should celebrate themselves. If you can’t who will? I had the best time, ate great food, talked smack and hung out husband and kid free-see my blog on my trip! I want to thank my friends and family who celebrated with me in some way. Every call, text, social media shout out, gift, and card was appreciated!
- My annual birthday message-36 is young but there is always something I have learned and share during my birthday. I am still on self love-that message will never change.
- Single mom survival kit-there are a lot of things that single moms struggle with but there are a few things that we need to make sure we keep in the forefront with single moms and all moms in general.
- The wind has been taken out of our sail-this is a special tribute to my mother in law who recently passed. This will be my husband’s first mothers day without her.
- Do everything mom-this is a #tbt that we talk about learning to lay the cape down and take the pressure off.
- Mother day do nots-there are a few things that we all need to keep in mind so don’t get caught on the list making errors for your mom’s special day.
- Mother’s Day gift giving guide-make sure you make mom feel special!
This has been a good week. I did eat a lot in Chicago that could have been a low but I worked out at the gym and did a LOT of walking.
Well until next week when all of the celebrations will come to an end. Please mom or not, do something good for yourself. To all of my followers who are moms enjoy your day. If you are experiencing Mothers Day without your mom or mother figure in your life my heart and prayers are extended to you all. If you have lost a child and the holiday affects you, I do understand and my prayers to you as well.
Well I hope all is well. We are ending April on a pretty good note I think. I hope whatever you didn’t get to accomplish that you take some speed into May. It’s a new month around the corner. In addition to that it’s time to see where we did well and where we could have done better this week.
- It’s been a full 100 days in office for President Trump. No matter if you like him or hate him there has been more going on with his first 100 days than most full presidencies. For one we have had so much threats and rumors of wars. This is not something that we can act like won’t affect the world because we all know it will. So I don’t know what the next few years will look like, but you can best believe we will remain prayerful, vigilant, and woke.
- This week has been filled with sports hysteria. We are in the middle of the 2017 NFL draft weekend. I live in Philadelphia and let me say the buzz is not an overkill. People are out enjoying the full weekend events and it has been going well. If you haven’t already catch up on the picks and events.
- There has been more children being abducted in this week than before. Now that’s not saying I am supporting that statement with full facts. But there has been an increase of children all over my social media, in the news, and its getting crazier day by day. No matter how great of a parent anything can happen but please be more vigilant with your little ones now more than ever. Do not leave them unattended not even in the backyard. Keep them close to you when you are in stores and do not let them walk behind you on the streets. Grab your little ones hands. This may require that you take phone calls and text messages later but it’s better than putting up flyers. Pay attention to them. Some people are so evil that they watch how interactive you are with your children only to scoop in when they think you don’t care.
- R.I.P Robert Godwin Jr. If you do not know who he is he was the man who was walking home from an Easter dinner with his family and was shot at point-blank range by Steve Stephens who chose him randomly and killed him on Facebook live. It ensued a national manhunt that ended when he took his own life as police pursuit. I know this has story is slowly becoming yesterday’s news but out of respect please stop sharing these videos and videos like it. These are real life people who families would appreciate that you find a piece of morality and care.
This week I am down another 3.5 pounds. Won’t He do it?! Yes! I am super excited. I also did one of my own suggestions in a previous blog about keeping your mental sanity by buying flowers and placing them right on my night stand by my bed. When I have gotten up this morning I smell them. Let me tell you how much a store-bought 7.99 bouquet has done for me. Amazing things for my entire mood. Every morning after I have smelled them things have gone immediately crazy. I have little kids from bathroom accidents, to refusal to get up, to finding missing items it hasn’t affected me one bit. The flowers aren’t magical in the least bit. They just provide a place for me to go to my happy place as I start my day. Try it!
As always if you have missed a blog you are missing out so get caught up.
- How to deal with a jerk. It’s a quick reminder that adjusting your attitude can go a long way.
- Ask Toi: pet names and how speaking up can work wonders even in new relationships.
- Keep your knee pads-this was the #tbt of the week and we were talking about equality and the things that some men expect but wouldn’t do for themselves
- Dragging Lala: the internet was having a field day with the actress because in spite of Carmelo being wrong for infidelity she was supposed to forgive and forget. That is craziness. No woman should be cheated on and take it and especially when rumors of babies being added in.
- Single and married is the response to Carmelo’s rumored line that Lala was married he wasn’t. If you’re married you know right well you can’t openly cheat and that be okay unless you have an established open marriage that both parties agree on.
- Stress management-emotional stress can be a killer. All stress tugs on the matters of the heart. Deal with that to deal with the stress.
- Leave the kids out of it goes out to the rude comments made about if Serena Williams who we now know is pregnant while still competing. No her baby is not going to be made of chocolate milk but if it was it was be the best chocolate milk. Never talk about kids regardless of how you feel about their parents.
- Weigh in: 04/26/2017 this is where I share my newest update on my weight loss journey. PS. I also drank a unicorn frap, donuts and some wine. Learning to be normal and balance working out, eating right and indulges is a great tool.
I have dedicated to getting 2 days a week of sleep and I haven’t done well with that. I have run on empty a few times by doing the most when I get home since I am still doing mandatory overtime and not enough of slowing myself down. This upcoming week I will be able to slow down and take a much-needed vacation with my girls. However I will not run myself to the bone before I get there. I have done a lot ahead of time and look forward to a much semi slower week,
As always I love you all. Get out this weekend and pour a little back into your cup. Do not do more for others and leave yourself depleted!! Have a great weekend and I will blog soon!!
Happy Friday ToiTime readers!! Can you hear the joy in my voice? That is what happens when you have been working 12 hour days all week and you finally get over 9 hours of sleep. I am refreshed and will need it for the Easter weekend. Anyway. There has been a lot going on this week so let’s recap.
- United Airlines out here handing out ass whippings for not giving up seats. The company is in a full-blown mess these days. I expect a large payout and for the company’s bottom line to suffer behind the mess. Little tid bit, do not ever release statements that victim blame.
- Second week of bombs from the United States. Trump’s administration has dropped the largest non nuclear bomb on Afghanistan. The only issues with all of this bombing is that I fear retaliation against the United States. For the sake of the world I pray I am wrong.
- Woman stabbed to death by Palestinian man on a train in Jerusalem.
- 2 Georgia police officers were fired after a video surfaced of them punching a handcuffed man.
I had a great weekend this past weekend. I was able to get some me time which was not planned for a full day but definitely turned into a beautiful full day. I enjoyed the quiet, some adult music and just some down time. I have been working 12 hour days almost everyday for the past 2 weeks so it felt good to recharge. I also enjoyed some family time with own family. We enjoyed some time at Comic Con in Philadelphia where I took some amazing pictures and met some amazing people. This week has been a little crazy with the mandatory overtime. However I was able to get some rest last night and I swear it felt like I slept for an entire week in one night. I expect to have a good weekend this weekend with my kidlets. They love holidays like me so we will have a blast celebrating. I wish you all who celebrate Easter to remember what it’s all about and have a great one!
- Stress awareness-phyiscal stress. We talk about what makes us stress out and what that looks like in our physical body. How we can grab the stress and turn it around in our lives.
- Let’s get physical-not everyone enjoys going to the gym even if its good for us. It’s like veggies but not liking all of the veggies that there are. You can find physical enjoyment in getting up and finding activities that you enjoy.
- Humble my ass, we talk about Lamar Kendrick’s newest hit Humble. It’s a great record except for all of the men who think this is the song of all songs but don’t truly apply to the words they spit. It takes more than a dope song to apply it. We also talk about Tyrese and his ability in his own mind to tell women what they should or shouldn’t be doing while flaunting his 46% Black wife. Love is love it doesn’t matter what color or race she is but he felt the need to tell the world and down women while uplifting us too as if that can be done at the same time.
- TI-Marriage is a distraction: This sounds horrible and it is. It is horrible if he didn’t have this conversation with Tameka “Tiny” his wife prior to the interview and even worst if he didn’t have this conversation with her before he began acting single. Truth in marriage is hard and it’s not always beautiful. However honesty should never take a back seat to feelings because in the end no one wins.
This week I would say pushing myself more and not listening to my body. I have had a series of headaches and stomach ache this week due to my change of schedule. And this is the very thing that stress even if it’s not bad stress can do. I should have slowed it down a bit. Although the overtime was mandatory this week, little things like going to bed when I got home instead of watching an hour of television and being on my phone could have helped. Instead of rushing slowed it down and ate at the times I needed and took my medication at the time I needed to would have helped greatly. These are all things we need to do to make our life even with change run a little more smoothly.
I do hope that you all have a good weekend and can say that even if you have a lot of events that you have to be at or have a lot of things to do that you slow it down and get something out of this weekend for yourself. You have to fill your own cup before you can do anything else for others.
So I am having a pretty good week. My weekend focuses will be a wedding I am attending today, the Phillies game, and some much-needed TLC for me. I love when I have my pamper time. It gets me super focused on me for a little bit and always me to slip back into mom and wife mode a little happier and easier. So this has been a little bit of a week with the news and such so let’s recap it all.
- Syrians were attacked by the chemical Sarin which is a nerve agent. It killed countless innocent victims both young and old. My prayers to those affected and their families in this senseless tragedy.
- U.S. launched a missile strike against the Syria chemical attack. We will have to give time to see the ramifications of what this could potentially lead to.
- Bill O-Reilly has had several endorsers pull away from his brand due to allegations of sexual harassment.
I lost another 3.4 pounds this week bringing my total weight loss to 32 pounds. My clothes are still getting bigger and I am not ready to buy anything new just yet. I am close to my goal and when I get there as promised I will update with a full body picture. I also had a good week closing the relationship I had been struggling to find a common ground with. It was a bit of a tough situation that had too much gray area than most things I deal with. I also was able to get some things organized. I have had a lot of over time this week so I had to really get things in order to make sure nothing went slacking at home.
- What your friends won’t tell you about marriage-this was released today and it deals with 10 things married people struggle with or know that they don’t always talk about. People have this souped up idea about what marriage is and sadly it doesn’t always pan out the way the mind thinks.
- This has got to go-talking about my continued weight loss journey. Are you interested in making some changes? Are you trying to be Summer time or lifetime fun but find it challenging? I talk about the piles of clothes on the bed and floor because the clothes you want to wear and what you actually can fit or don’t want to fit in are too much.
- Losing your mind-its stress awareness month and this week we talked about the mind and what to do if you are having a setback. We talked specifically what to do if once you are attempting to change your way of thinking but are feeling overwhelmed and need help.
- Mental setback-dealing with the little ways we can reset the mind so the thought process doesn’t take over our minds to the point where we struggle to function.
I am dealing with an issue with my daughter. I obviously won’t go into yet but working on responses to your children that are appropriate and mirror what you are used to do vs what should be done for the betterment of your child. I am not a perfect parent actually no one is. The balance of making sure everything is done to uplift a little person is a great task. Often times it’s not as clean-cut as we hope in our minds it would be. So if you are a parent just know there will be some lows but the key is to pick yourself up and try to continue to love.
So enjoy your weekend. I am hearing in Philadelphia there may be a little warm up next week and after this week of rain and cold I sure could use a little sun on my skin. Be safe and continue to check in-blogs drop without warning sometimes.
So here we go in another week and it’s time to wrap up. I am so happy that it is Friday. I cant wait to enjoy my weekend. Last weekend I was able to attend a birthday party, do some much needed me time and really just get ready for this week with a little rest in there too. This week has been pretty good on a personal level so let’s dive in to what happened this week:
- Vice President Mike Pence made the tie breaking vote to allow states to defund Planned Parenthood.
- North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper signs a bill that repeals the state bathroom law.
- Bill O’ Reilly made a comment about Rep. Maxine Waters hair resembling that of James Brown. This fire storm set off the twitter trend #blackwomenatwork to highlight the many times black women are disrespected while doing their jobs.
I am down another 1.6 lbs this week. I am on a crusade for my personal health for any new readers. I am working on a better version of myself. I had to step away from calling my weight “baby weight” when my “baby” is 3 years old. So I am taking the steps to make sure that I change my lifestyle not just lose weight. I want to be able to wear the clothes I want to wear and not just the clothes I have to wear. Another high this week was going to see my doctor looking and being 27 pounds total lighter. She congratulated me and gave me some more tips to an overall healthy life. It felt good to move out of the overweight category.
In case you missed the blogs this week. You need to check out what you missed:
- No account people
- Ask Toi: how to handle when you’re in public and someone makes a comment to one child but not the other
- Self Love/Self Care
The same struggle that I had last weekly I am honestly sad to say I am still struggling with this week. I had success with the one group where as I was able to see them in public and not have an issue and it was a refreshing step back from our normal interaction but the other I can’t say I have moved on from. So this weekend I am really going to allow myself some attitude adjusting to step in. If after I step back and attempt to make it work and it doesn’t than I use the Hollywood phrase that the relationship is “irreconcilably broken.” I have to put some effort into this to get out a reward. So I will keep you updated either way but a result will have to come from this situation.
I wanted to encourage those who are participating in Lent and the spirit of Lent to keep on going. Whatever you gave up will hopefully balance that you can continue on the right path or find balance once it is over. Stay strong. Be vigilant. Find ways to make it easier to get to the intended goal.