Good morning all!
We should at this point have gotten our Valentine’s Day our of our systems and continue on showing love to the ones in our lives daily. If you didn’t have the Valentine’s Day you wanted I get it, at this point, refocus from this one day and find ways to use self-care to get through. You still have other days ahead that are going to need your attention.and dwelling on that one day past the 24 hours that followed means that you are allowing this to overtake you.
I wanted to do something different today to have a check in of sorts but instead of highlighting my highs and lows, let’s just talk about various aspects of our mental health. One this has NOTHING to do with the allegations of mental abuse with the recent school shooting. As much as I know mental disease played a part in it, I am one for calling a spade a spade and say that premeditated homicide is a different type of beast. That is a blog for a different day. However I send prayer and love to the community of Parkland and pray that with prayers, we have an action plan in place and sooner than later. I am one for prayer but faith without works is dead, we need action.
All of us regardless of where we are need to heal and have some closures in a few places. Let me be clear that this has NOTHING to do with your tax status. A hurting heart will not heal from a wedding ring. I know we have been conditioned to believe that marriage is the answer to love woes but it’s actually not. Marriage is like having a constant mirror walking around. A lot of wounds that you haven’t dealt with will come up during marriage. So if you are looking for marriage to complete you, this is misguided thinking. It will not. It will make you face yourself. The issue with having someone to face yourself is that not all marriages are strong enough for the depth of junk that people bring into them. So I would suggest that you work on the things that you need before.
Also there are some folks that would rather be single. There is nothing wrong with that. That’s not different then the folks that don’t want to be parents. Your life, your choice. Just be sure that wherever you want love not to go down the wrong path. If you constantly see a pattern in whom you are choosing, don’t blame the people you dated, take accountability. Remember self-care and self-love go hand in hand in your love journey it’s not something to attempt to do after you have entangled someone with you. Also have a plan or list that you have in the back of your mind but make the non negotiable things that deal with character above physical in your mind especially if you are dating and looking. I know women who have these laundry lists of their wants and needs and they are superficial to say the least. Often times they don’t take character into play. If you have a good-looking liar, you aren’t winning. However you should be attracted to the person you are with. So balance it!
I am in the process of weeding out a few bad apples. I find myself doing this often. As I take accountability for my own actions one of the actions is my actions for friendships. It doesn’t matter how long I have been friends with them either. Zero passes need to be given. Since I have gotten older, my desires have changed. With that some friendships were great for the phase of life I WAS in but not for where I am now nor for where I am headed. With that in mind let’s cut away the leech friends. The ones who have zero problems taking but do not ever give. It’s not cool and as everyone is working on themselves the excuses has to stop. You can have a million and one excuses but if you are out here being a bad friend, own it and decide do you really want to change? If yes then do so if not then be honest and let the friendship fizzle out. Also friends shouldn’t get so comfortable that you take friendship for granted. This means thank you, and please go a long way. I think above all we have to remember that when we deal with others in general. You’re not so much of my sis that you can forget that.
We want to be connected but having bad connections is bad for your life in general. Oh and be extremely leery of these friendship circles. I was invited to one that I accepted because I know they are about building up. But I declined one because it was really about selling stuff. Listen, sis I love to shop but I am also on team savings too. I want to help you build your brand but you can’t fill my inbox with let’s make money quick schemes and have me stay. Not one time was it about praying, lifting another one up, or even about making sure everyone felt loved and secure. I pass on these types all the time. This was one of the major pushes for cleaning up my social media. I had way too many groups talking about helping that turned into everyone thinking they knew everything, let’s talk crap about another sister, or finding out the tea in someone’s life. I got a healthy life, so I don’t have much time for the foolishness. I spend more time with solid relationships, my family, going to church, self-care and the gym that’s plenty for me.
What have you done this week for you? Literally I found that I was super agitated more this week wondering if and why someone else hadn’t poured into me. Totally selfish of me but it happened. One thing to note is never do anything for anyone and look for something in return. The second thing that it showed me is that I lacked something that is within myself and I sought after that instead of wasting time being upset at someone else. I have what I need inside of me. Do not tax others to do for you what you wont do for you. It’s that simple. Self care comes from various sources from free to lavish. You find where you can and what you can and you do it. You really should be finding something you can do for you daily not just weekly. If you have gotten to this Friday and can’t name one thing you did for yourself that made you better, than you have some catching up to do. Ladies and gentlemen, self-care is not an option its a must.
I can not stress enough getting ALL of your tests done. Have you made an eye appt? What about a gynecological exam? No physical? No follow-ups done either? What in the real world are you waiting for? You do realize that putting it off will not make anything go away? Be vigilant about your health and what you want. Be vigilant in making sure that you will be here in the future. Go and be seen. There is no reason to have something sneak up on you when we have the technology to do something about it.We need to make sure that our health is fully taken care of. How active are you? How many hours a week are you putting into an active lifestyle? Have you substituted the stairs for the elevators, maybe do a work out tape or a free YouTube exercise instead of constantly sitting in front of the television? Maybe substituted a bad snack for a better healthier option? Whatever you are not doing, let’s change that. Let’s get up and move a bit. Sitting is the new smoking so let’s end these bad habits and do it now.
This has been an interesting week to say the least and remember it’s February so all the hoopla from the New Year’s wears off this month. Don’t let the momentum stop you. Renew your mindset and refocus on your goals. Don’t let this super short month get you. I know even with the flu it was hard to recommit but I did it and so can you. Bad habits only last as long as you want them. Good habits can do the same. Make yourself a priority.
So I am hoping that with everything that is going on personally and professionally that you find a way to recommit to having the best life you can. No things aren’t perfect but you can have a better life if you make the right choices. Sometimes those choices mean that you may need to say no, turn a few things off, say no to a few invitations and maybe even cut off a few along the way, but whatever it is that you need to do, do it and do it well!